The Player of Games




I love playing games. As I have written before, the games are always being played. I only ever play to win otherwise there is no point. I cannot lose and sit back and smile and accept it was nevertheless an enjoyable experience because if I was to lose then it could not be enjoyable. I would be accepting that you or someone else is better than me. You are not. He is not. They are not. I always have to win. In order to achieve this I operate by a particular set of rules. You think you know what those rules are because when we first come together I deign to play by your rules; I agree to operate by the systems and conventions of your reality. That is easy for me to do because everything is going swimmingly. I am seducing you and therefore you are letting me win because it feels good. I am content to go along with the pretence of agreeing that these are the rules of engagement. You think you are winning because you are getting this wonderful, generous and loving person. In reality, I am winning because I am receiving plenty of positive fuel from you.

It is thereafter that the rules alter because I decide (and it is always my decision) that we will now abide by the rules in my reality. You are not given a rulebook and you have to guess what those rules are. As soon as you think that you have grasped them and got a handle on them, they will suddenly change. It is akin to playing a game of football and I am winning three nil. You score two more goals and you are in the ascendancy and likely to equalise. There would normally be fifteen minutes to go but suddenly I change the rules so there is just one minute left. You fail to score and I win. You protest stating that is not the correct time but it does not matter because here I am the referee, the assistants and the fourth official and what I say goes. If you do not like it, tough. I will just pick up the ball and go home with it. It is like a game of darts where you have to start from 501 and end with a double. I on the other hand start from 51 and do not need a double. You claim it is not fair but why should I care about it? I have to win. Thus, you may realise that I enjoy a lie-in on a Sunday morning so you do not disturb me. I will purposefully set the alarm early and get up waking you early. Or if I do have a lie in, I will concoct some mystery appointment that I have missed because you let me lie in. When you wake me early the following Sunday I will erupt at you for being so selfish and not letting me sleep.

When you think have ascertained what the rules are they will alter. You will do your best to try and keep up but it is exhausting and frustrating. Yet, this manipulation of the rules to allow our kind to win does not end there. Goodness me no. Our driven desire to always be the winner means that not only will we sucker you by pretending to play by your rules and then change them; we will then change the game. One moment you think you are playing Monopoly and then I am telling you it was Professor Plum in the Study with the Candlestick.

“But that is Cluedo,” you will declare rather puzzled.

“I know,” I will smile in return.

“But we are playing monopoly.

“No we are not.”

“Yes we are, look this board has streets from New York on it.”

“No it doesn’t, those are rooms in the stately home.”

“What are you talking about? See here and here, street names.”

“Are you blind? Those are snakes and ladders.”

“What? You’ve changed it again.”

“No I haven’t. You are just making a fuss because you are losing.”

“What are you on about? I am not losing, I was winning.”

“Not at all. Check mate.”


Our phenomenal capabilities for lying, blame-shifting, denial and reflection all mean that the game will change. You are wrong footed, unsure of yourself, confused and we keep on doing it. We must win, always and you have to lose, at your cost. We will apply all our methods of manipulation to ensure we are victorious and you lie sprawled in the dirt, broken and defeated. Our success has to be at everything and I mean everything, from the trivial to the substantial, Defeat is never an option for our kind and we will bend, twist and snap the rules and alter the game in order to achieve this. Now, let’s play a game. It is my favourite. You may know it. It is called Guess Who? You have no chance.

20 thoughts on “The Player of Games

  1. Darkness Falls Again says:

    Do come over winner takes all! Even thou we both know who that will be, its the moves that are played durning that make the game interesting

  2. Red Queen says:

    Hi Mr HG Tudor, I love your blog, (I hate saying that – your ego will get bigger) I have signed up to follow you or is it stalk? Always sounds more like stalking I think! You are a very interesting ‘subject’ which I will enjoy ‘studying’ I’m a ‘survivor’ of your ‘narcissistic gangs’ I didn’t know you existed but my last encounter was shattering to say the least,so I’ve done my research & now know what you are! Hate is a strong word so instead I use ‘pity’ because you will never know love & peace in your life. I’d offer friendship but that is a joke isn’t it, because you’re not even capable of that? Never mind I’m tough now ‘once bitten not shy’ ~ I know your games if suspicious of very friendly attention I attack first! Pass my secret tests then I might trust but then again you’re all so devious aren’t you! Well I think I’ve said enough apart from you’ll be found in the study, at the bottom of a ladder on Wall street & it will be check mate to me! Because as you know the Red Queen can do anything she wants – off with your head! Well if you think it’s only you who can change the rules wrong! Let the games begin!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Red Queen I am pleased you are reading.

  3. Darkness Falls Again says:

    Interesting chess board HG, you up for a game?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  4. Indy says:

    Love, I have to agree. One thing that I really enjoy are debates and some games. My ex was initially a lot of fun with this. Excellent mind, spunky, fiery, and did everything for a win. Because I too like to win and have to watch my own desire to top, game was intense with us. I have to laugh that was one thing about it as I do miss that. I can see that devilish grin when he thought he had me. He even cheated at basic card games, said if I didn’t catch him, all was fair. He he he…it brought back the kid in me, though it got to be much,like when the pouting came when I would occasionally win. I sometimes wonder if he liked it too as it allowed him to be a kid with me, something he possibly had stolen from him to a degree. Or, I could be projecting,

    1. Love says:

      Indy, they do make it fun in the beginning. It is like being a kid again. Mine used to cheat at every game, but it was so obvious that it was funny. Lol I guess that was his fun. I do miss the good times.

  5. Lisa says:

    Im enjoying the game we play. Its called ‘The narc and the Empath’. Rules? I know them all. It involves 1narc, 1empath and 8pillars. The narc turns his back while the empath shoots down a pillar (empath gets two shots for succeeding the first and following shots). The narc is blindsighted and cannot make his move. End result?…the empath wins!!!
    Gotta win sooner or later….dont I ??

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Only if we let you think that.

      1. Lisa says:

        Touche’ HG! But in my defence….he’s not that clever. 😉………..( I hope)

  6. Triad says:

    Physical escape is no escape. Your own mind is what we hold, and it is eternal, for there is no better than us. Want to be free? Expel us out of your mind and accept a lesser satisfaction than us. Accept that you’ll never be this alive again as you were with us, and freedom will be your great reward.

    1. Love says:

      Oooh, Triad, your words are so sexy!

  7. Buterfly says:

    If we escape have we won or not necessarily?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If you escape you have won part one. Part Two is implementing No Contact and part Three is resisting the inevitable hoovers.

  8. Louie says:

    It’s like burners on a stove and the people in his life were different pans. One moment, I was on the front burner–important and loved and his ex girlfriend was on the back burner–him saying she was greedy and unaffectionate. Then, presto chango, SHE was on the front burner, I was on the backburner.
    Somewhere in there his ex wife was on the front burner, I AND his ex girlfriend was on the backburner. Just like being on a horror-filled merry-go-round. A hamster wheel from Hell.

  9. Love says:

    I love reading your work. It reinforces why I stay free of your kind… For the time being. However, when the need becomes too strong, I will jump right back in, head first.
    Mind games are my favorite! I play them too. My only rule is I play with narcs only. I would never hurt an empathetic person. You narcs on the other hand are indestructible. You play dirty, have thick skin, and keep coming back for more.
    All is fair in love and war.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Bring it Love!

      1. Love says:

        On my, well this must be embarrassing. I’ve been bringing it… My silent ninja skills. Before you know what happened, I’m already in your system.

      2. Love says:

        And this, Ladies and Gents, is how you do it.
        **Love drops the mic and exits the stage.**

  10. SII says:

    I can relate to this post and I do not like to admit to this. Should another narc come across my path I will spot him right away. In turn I will become your game to loose.
    This part of my thinking is coming from the child who was always hurt and never heard. Revenge runs cold and deep and I can’t shake that. How I wait for my next narc to criticize. This can been a great danger HG and I no this. Especially in the lower level narc. I don’t seem to care about my safety only revenge.

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