It is a beautiful day. The kind of day that feels full of possibilities. The sun shines in the cornflower blue firmament, birdsong fills the air as the scent of grass, flowers and optimism hangs heavy. You stand at your window and look out across the view of your well-tended garden and then the fields beyond, stretching away to the hills in the distance. Your time is your own and you stand considering not only what you will do this gorgeous day but what is next for you and your life. What direction will you take it in? Where will your steer your good ship to? There have been some stormy waters inΒ the past but you navigated them and jettisoned that unnecessary cargo which threatened to sink you and here you are now with so many choices, so many options and opportunities available to you, unhindered by others that may seek to impose their own values and decisions on to you. You are freedom personified although you must admit there are times when you would welcome someone to share this unparalleled freedom with, but there is no rush to achieve this. It will happen when it happens, you believe in such things. As you continue to look out across the view, the telephone rings and you break off from your thoughts to answer the telephone.

“Hello,” you declare into the receiver. You hear a voice, clear, confident, warm and strangely inviting, speaking to you.

“Hello, I am Mr Saul Mate calling from Somnium Incorporated and I just wanted to let you know that I am able to deliver whatever you require twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year. Remember it is all about you. Thank you for your continued custom.”

The call ends.

You smile and replace the receiver. It rings again and you answer.

“Hello, Mr Saul Mate calling from Somnium Incorporated. Please remember I am by your side even when I am not there and I am always ready to attend to anything you require. What you need, I provide. Thank you for your continued custom.”

The call ends again and as you stand contemplating this call there is the ping of a message on your mobile phone. You replace the landline receiver and walk over to where your mobile rests on the sideboard. You pick it up and see you have a text message from a number that you do not recognise. You open the message nevertheless.

“Somnium Incorporated – taking you to a new level in the provision of delight and joy.”

The landline rings again and you mutter as you answer.

“Yes?” “Hello, Mr Saul Mate calling from Somnium Incorporated. We have undertaken an extensive profiling exercising which puts us in the optimum position to understand all your needs and most importantly satisfy them. Every. Single. Time. Thank you for your continued custom.”

“Look, I haven’t ordered anything from you,” you protest but the line goes dead.

Another message arrives on your ‘phone.

“Somnium Incorporated – just say it and you will have it. Heaven awaits when you let us take care of you.”

There is a noise from your laptop and you replace the receiver and walk to the computer to find an e-mail from

“Dear Customer, we just wanted to let you know how much we adore looking after your every need. You are very special to us in fact you are the only one we want to serve.”

“What is going on?” you ask yourself aloud. Your ‘phone pings again and the sound of an e-mail arriving rings out. You are about to look at these messages when your doorbell rings.

“What now?” you mutter.

You open your front door to find a courier stood there holding a huge bouquet of flowers.

“Good morning miss, delivery for Miss Victoria Tim,” he smiles. He hands you the bouquet and walks away. There is a card attached and you read it.

“For you dear customer who we will always serve and provide for no matter what – Somnium Inc.”

You carry the flowers inside which are admittedly beautiful as you hear something being shoved through your letterbox. You place the flowers down and return to the door to see several flyers in different styles and colours have been pushed through your letterbox. All of them are from Somnium Inc. and contain a variety of promises, declarations and plaudits concerning you and them. The doorbell rings and you pull the door open in irritation, still clutching the flyers. You can hear your landline ringing again and the repeated pinging of your mobile phone and chime of your laptop. A different courier stands at the door this time with a parcel which he hands to you.

“Victoria Tim?” he asks and you nod.

“Just sign here please,” he says with a smile and pushes the signing device towards you. You oblige and he wishes you a lovely day as you retreat inside with the parcel which bears a tag.

“From Somnium Inc. to our best and most wonderful customer, we want to serve you forever.”

You shake your head and put the parcel down to answer the landline.

“Hello, Mr Saul Mate here just calling to remind you how special you are to us and how we will only ever have your best interests at heart.” The doorbell rings again.

“Stop calling this number!” you shout and slam the phone down. You snatch up your mobile and see 25 messages have arrived all from the same number. You glance at a couple of the messages.

“We just wanted to let you know that we have never had a customer like you before. You are unique in every way and we just want to give you everything you deserve – Somnium Inc.

“We have never felt this way about one of our customers before it is like we have been sent from corporate heaven to make you happy forever – Somnium Inc.”

The landline rings again but you ignore it. You can hear more chiming from your laptop and you see that your inbox is filling with e-mails from the same source; You let out a cry as the doorbell rings once again and flinging the door open, phone ringing in the background you are confronted by a line of couriers who snake down your pathway and onto the road beyond. They are all carrying items such as flowers, parcels, baskets, balloons and such like.

“Delivery for Miss Victoria Tim,” they all announce in unison and provide you with a winning smile and a wink of the eye.

“Go away!” you shout, ” I do not want them. I don’t have anything to do with Somnium Inc.!”

You slam the door and march back into the living room as the landline keeps on ringing, your mobile pings incessantly and the chiming coming from your laptop will not stop. More flyers land on the doormat as you fling your mobile to one side, placing your hands over your ears trying to drown out this cacophony but to no avail. You hear a loud knocking at your front door as the chiming, ringing and pinging continues. You curse and wait. You consider going to the internet to find the details about this company Somnium Inc. and Mr Saul Mate in readiness of making a complaint. This is harassment. No company should be acting in this fashion and anyhow, where did they get your details from? How did they know your telephone numbers, e-mail address and residential address? You never gave them out. The knocking at the door continues and you stomp to the front door.

“I said I – ” you begin as you wrench the door open expecting to find the line of waiting couriers but there is nobody there. Your eyes look down to the doormat on your porch floor and there is crisp white calling card with black embossed letters. You stoop and snatch it up, the din of ringing and alerts seeming to fade as your attention is drawn by this card. You read it.

“Sorry we missed you, we will call again.”

The name Saul Mate is in one corner and Somnium Inc. is another corner. You look across the lawn but there is nobody there. You go to the front gate and look left and right along the avenue but it is empty.

If any company or organisation treated, you in this manner you would complain. This behaviour is our calling card and you not only embrace it but you want it. And you call us the twisted ones?

52 thoughts on “Relentless

  1. Windstorm says:

    After reading the comments, I’ve begun to question whether my ex husband was really a mid-level like I thought. I thought that bc he was not malignant at all. He is very intelligent and highly educated and has a very well developed sense of humor, which he uses to great effect both to get fuel and protect himself from criticism. Plus he is very manipulative and self-aware. He certainly knows exactly what he is. HG, do you think he would really be a greater?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      From what you have written Windstorm I would say the wind is blowing in the direction of him being a Greater, either that or an Upper Middle Cerebral.

  2. Violet says:

    We do because
    A) we assume someone who would waste such time with a bombardment would normally be ashamed to do so
    B) once we realise your disability we understand you lack something and so we show you love, appreciating the good times because life is up and down anyway
    C) the experience is a learning one and interesting at that.

    I read once rats were tested between staying in a cage without an electric current running through their water tap constantly, which shocked them repeatedly, having a shock only every now and then, and remaining in a cage with a non-electrified water tap.
    They chose the middle option – scientists concluded the intelligent ray preferred stimulation albeit painful than the pain of boredom.

    So that’s us – what we do together (the fearless adventures) and what we learn from your abuse is stimulating for us who need to understand.

  3. 1jaded1 says:

    I wouldn’t accept it from a company, I didn’t accept it from N1 or N2 and I won’t accept it if it ever happens again. The main difference if it ever happens again, he won’t get another chance after the warning. It’s called crossing the boundary. They do exist.

  4. BraveHeart says:

    So true, but not anymore, and never again!

  5. nikitalondon says:

    this is a really good one .. i remember it from the past and I have met Saoul too

  6. NarcAngel says:

    The writing is always beautiful and you inject such a great sense of humour in some of your posts. I had read previously that Narcs do not possess a sense of humour and that jokes and the like are lost on them. Have experienced that in my interactions with them as well generally, but there were moments here and there when they appeared humourous and/or humoured. HG is this just another case of observing to see what people find humourous and using a sort of mimickry to create something that appeals? Stem from sarcasm and then tempered? Or do you actually feel mirth and delight on occasion?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have an excellent sense of humour as making people laugh is a useful way of seducing them, particularly those who will be secondary sources. Of course my sense of humour fails quite spectacularly when criticised. Being equipped with a sense of humour is another way of being able to manipulate people. Some of our kind have that ability, whereas others have to mimic it as you identify.
      For instance, I was delayed in answering your interesting question because I suffered concussion after a book fell on my head. I have only my shelf to blame.

      1. BraveHeart says:

        Humor was my ex-MN’s best weapon against me. It’s what reeled me in and it’s what kept me with him for way too long. He was someone I considered a best friend (never really attracted to him) before ever becoming involved with him. As time went on (10 years), and I started getting to know him better, I began to fall in love with his personality, because of his sense of humor. I know now that this was his way of manipulating me. He had to, he had no choice if he wanted to ensnare me, because he knew I was the type of person who hated being around negative people. He always found a way to make me smile and/or laugh, even during the devaluation process, so he could keep me “in love” with him. “That” was the hardest part (and still is) about being discarded by him after nearly 5 years of being together. I not only lost the love of my life, but I lost my best friend! The one who made me laugh and smile, even at the worst of times. The one who was everything to me in his fantasy world. Now, 9 months after being discarded, I’ve learned to laugh again without him and there’s not a better feeling in my world than that.

        I believe, wholeheartedly, the Narcs who use their sense of humor the best, for entangling their victims and keeping them emotionally hostage, are the Greaters. They know exactly how and when to use it to their advantage.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Well put Braveheart.

        2. Indy says:

          Interesting, my recent ex who was a narcissist had superb humor as well. I too loved him for it. He was s cerebral type, with victim mixed in there. Used silient treatment and gas lighting and emotional abuse (push pull stuff etc) and I thought he was s mid range type. Interesting theory tho. I sometimes have wondered if he knew what he was tho I think his denial is too high to look at himself that deeply. Very smart, just not self aware in my humble….

  7. Indy says:

    HG, so I do not know why, but I am getting this feeling of safety again. Like, maybe this time he will not return for more hoovers. He has certainly not engaged in the frenzy of calls and texts since late August. First week of September, I called him after he messaged me needing his gate key back. I returned his call with minimal emotion to let him know to stop calling or there will be police consequences and charges for all the harassing calls from august. I told him I would mail his apartment card back to him and that there were no chance of us getting back together. He called about a month later (later September) and didn’t leave a message, He called and texted to tell me he missed me and requested a call during my non narcissist ex’s funeral (mid October), and had his mother text me about a week or two later(once). Then he tried to friend me on Facebook about a week and a half ago. I did not respond to any of these. I have been truly nonresponsive.
    You think he will hoover again? I stay away from areas he is known to be in. I do not contact or respond. I do not have my text read notice on. I do not talk to anyone in his circle and no one in his circle is a Facebook friend of mine.

    I do not know why I get comfortable and feel safe so quickly. I have this deep sense of, noooooo, he is done and getting fuel from other places.

  8. wompus says:

    Excellent HG! This one made me smile. We are just as twisted as you. You’re an addicting ego boost until ……you’re not.

  9. Indy says:

    As it did the first time I read this, I had the visual of a Twilight Zone episode. Effective and creative way to describe the intensity of love bombing. My experiences were not intense in the love bomb phase. The only thing I recall was being informally proposed to way too soon (2 months after meeting). However, he didn’t do all the over the top flowers, presents, trips, etc. The proposal was a red flag that I recognized….AND ignored.

    So, I saw you recommended to someone here Black Mirror and I checked it out as my son (adult) recommended it too. I LOVE this series. Creepy, deep and dystopian. I dig!. I needed something while I waited for the next season of Stranger Things.

  10. Snow White says:

    Very amusing. That story makes me laugh. It did remind me of how often I got a text.
    Do you text your IP’s first thing in the morning and continue all day? I don’t know how you fit it in. I could barely get anything done when this was going on. It did make me smile though. Too bad it’s not normal and done for manipulative reasons.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not at present I don’t but during seduction the use of text messages/messenger and such like on a frequent basis are required. Being able to delegate is a very useful skill when one is busy seducing somebody through texts.

      1. Snow White says:

        You must have a narc workshop over there HG. Lol.

      2. BraveHeart says:

        HG, you said you only text your IP all day long during the seduction period. What does it mean then if my ex-MN texted me all day, every day, from morning to night, the entire time we were together (nearly 5 years). I know there was a Golden period specifically during the first year (cards, cd’s, flowers, gifts, etc.); however, I also think that some of the Golden period overflowed into the Devaluation period. It’s what kept the roller coaster moving. What do you think? Why do you suppose he texted me constantly the way he did the entire time we were together?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          It depends what he was texting BH. Incessant texting can occur during devaluation if he is insulting you, asking you what you are doing, trying to exert control, trying to spoil your night out, telling you what he is doing with someone else and so on.

          1. BraveHeart says:

            I think too, he incessantly texted me just as a reminder that he wasn’t with me and that he was in fact with his wife. There were many, MANY, conversations about what he was doing, where she was at, what they did together for fun … you name it, I asked it. So, yes, now I have my answer, he was receiving BIG TIME fuel by keeping me hooked to the phone. I remember a few times when I wouldn’t respond right away and he’d text, “BABY, ARE YOU OKAY!!!” Of course, I “immediately” responded. I can almost laugh about this shit now because of what I’ve learned from you, HG! Thank you so much!

          2. HG Tudor says:

            No problem, you are welcome BH.

      3. BraveHeart says:

        Everyone of “his” texts were full of wishes, dreams, hopes and love. Honestly the only time they got negative was towards the end when I started questioning him about everything and cross-examining his answers. But for the most part, he was always more than willing to answer my questions (vaguely). He always tried to steer our conversations towards the positive, but at the end he started asking me why we had to keep going down these negative paths (he knows I hate negativity). I told him I would never keep the peace on the [infidelity] path I was on with him because it wasn’t the path I signed up for. So, for nearly 5 years, most of our messages back and forth were very loving. As I said, there were times when they were not, but for the most part, he was usually very “understanding”.

        In fact, my last text to him came 3 days after I told him I would not keep the peace on “his” path, and 3 days before the deadline I told him I would give him to change his life so we could be together.

        He sent me his usual “Good Morning” text telling me Happy Easter and adding all his usual script from his past messages to me. Since I felt like he may as well have copied and pasted it, I told him I couldn’t message that day. He messaged back saying, “Baby, I’m sorry my circumstances are creating hardships for us again” and I wrote back saying, “The truth is, it’s not your circumstances causing these hardships, it’s us!” and I never heard from him again.

  11. Matilda says:

    Hmm, what do I see here? boundary violations, future faking, pathological lying, and blame-shifting. Soo nice to be able to cut through BS like champ! πŸ™‚

  12. Seduced says:

    I’m finding it hard to point now which of Your blog posts or books are the best… The all marvelous to the point that my life will be always filled with You. and Your name will be the one I’ll whisper with my last breath. ..

    1. AH OH says:

      Seduced Your statement is just over the top. I believe you need to get into therapy. If you know this man, HG, personally then I might be able to understand this. But if you feel this way because of his blog and books, then I would consider you an obsessed fan and one to be very cautious of.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        I have the same concern for Seduced. It sounds a little more than flattery and fuel.

        1. AH OH says:

          I am wrong in saying anything as it is not my concern nor do I care other then the fact it becomes an “OMG” on this blog. I actually think of this venue to be very serious and a place to heal and learn. So when I read over and over the writings of a misguided person, I hope that HG pays attention and reels it in. Yes, most have a little fun and joke and flirt. But her posts, well I will hold my thoughts.
          I know that everyone on here admires what he does and we know it is not for our sake but nonetheless we benefit.
          But unless his hands are around my throat squeezing the life out of me, he is not getting my last breath. LOL It is just a WTF moment and a crazy AF on the Narcsite.

        2. AH OH says:

          I stand corrected in my humble opinion by none other then LOVE.
          I leave it to HG to watch over the sheep.
          Now I have some hunting to do.
          F*@K’em and feed ’em hotdogs.
          Did I tell you I have a potty mouth? Another disclosure. Some might think it a shame because I have such a pretty face and mouth too.

          1. NarcAngel says:

            It matters not to me the delivery as long as the message is unadulterated and honest. We know all too well that pretty words can fall from fetid lying mouths.

      2. Love says:

        Ah Oh, I think its good of you to be concerned and try to help someone. However, this is still the internet. People play roles. They take on characters. You can be whomever you want to be. We know nothing about each other…. Other than what is posted, and that could be pure fiction. Yes, this site is serious and a place for healing, yet its still just words. I take everything with a grain of salt.

        1. AH OH says:

          I am not concerned with her or you to be honest but it gets old and frankly it is pitiful. I just stated my opinion as you just did too.
          If you want to look like a fucking sap then by all means do so. I like to take on the bitch role, the one with no tolerance for the idiots that are in the world and procreate, which scares the hell out of me.

          Over and over again is a bit much for me so I post what I think. I do not need you to tell me what this forum is, I am well aware.
          The truth is I am truthful on here. I know I am a rare one. So you hide behind the keyboard and pretend to be what you are not. I happen to be that special that I do not have to pretend.

          Play away Love.

        2. AH OH says:

          Also my previous post said was not really concerned with her issues.

        3. NarcAngel says:

          Hi LOVE. Do you suspect people on here are here merely for entertainment and playing roles? Im serious. It never occurred to me that people would come to a place of information for the purpose of healing and pretend to be something they are not. Wait. Not true. I did wonder in the beginning if Narcs would fish here representing themselves as something else but certainly not those affected by them. I can tell you that although many might not understand my way of being, that What I say here is authentic and true to who I am. I am offended at the suggestion that people would use it for fantasy role play. I do not believe that was the spirit in which this blog was created or intended.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Of my observations during the lifespan of this blog, of the thousands who have commented here I would identify one role-player and a handful of people who are of my kind but don’t realise it. Everybody else has written from the position of an empathic victim/survivor or equivalent.

          2. AH OH says:

            I am not sure what I am or if I can be catergorized. I know that through this odd place, I have grown and learned and now understand more of who I am as a person and how I see the world and those around me. I have also gathered strength from HG.
            So you go on with your badass self HG and I will do the same. I am grateful that you decided to do this blog.
            Now, I know you are but what am I?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Odd place? Charming. Good job you redeemed yourself thereafter!

          4. NarcAngel says:

            Thank you HG. I appreciate and accept your assessment. There is no one more qualified.

      3. Love says:

        Aren’t we all behind a keyboard on this site? Last time I checked, no one could authenticate anyone’s true self. So you say you are honest. Great. I have no way to know if that is true or not. Just as you are free to play the bitch role, others can be as sappy and pathetic as possible. As long as everyone is respectful and not vulger, I think its quite enjoyable. To each his own.

        1. AH OH says:

          I have posted pretty much where I live, a picture of myself, what I have done and even that I can be fond on linkedIn. What more do you want?
          I do not need to pretend, doesn’t work for me.

      4. Love says:

        I don’t believe most people come here for a fantasy role play. Nor should victims be worried about narcs lurking under the guise of empaths. This is not a dating site. Yet people are free to be as over the top as they want to be here. Seduced might not say those words in real life, but she perhaps feels free to express herself in that manner on this site. Who am I to judge?

  13. That is silly to compare an intimate partner (or prospect) to a company.

    And don’t you think that is a little overboard anyhow? Yes, you all love to be on top of things but the love bombing isn’t that overbearing… even I would be turned off by that!

    1. Not So Sad says:

      Hi dragoncreeper. πŸ™‚

      How are you ?

      My ex love bombed me in a similar way . I mean constantly texting, calling me, turning up unexpectedly ( not the coincidence he said it was)

      He knew I was in a relationship but it didn’t stop him in. It was unrelenting, I was flattered and didn’t want it to stop.

      So I ditched the kind, caring man I was with for him .

      The biggest mistake of my life . x

      1. I’m finding the hoovering annoying, much like a telemarketer! :/

        1. Not So Sad says:

          As annoying as it is .. and he wants it to be, just keep ignoring him . I think they all give up eventually if they don’t get a response . x

          1. The exN told me the other day that if I do not respond to him on his texts he has this over whelming need to see me and that’s why he watches me and follows me. I would call him on his bluff but he knows places that I have been that are insignificant BUT places I do not normally go. I really am at a loss here… I just know I won’t be in his reach much longer.

      2. Love says:

        I don’t know NSS. I have ones that still call and text me after 5 or 10 years. These are ones I’ve continuously ignored for years. I guess they play the numbers game. Call as many as possible and someone will pick up eventually.

    2. AH OH says:

      I think I look at realtionships as a business. The reward to aggravation factor, the benifits and/or lack there of. What behavoiurs are tolerated/accepted. What is expected from me and what I expect. Preferences and on and on. The blind, through it at the wall stuff is long gone. I am at the stage in my life where I think like this. It might be why I am still single. There are times the thought of a compainon is good or to have a nice tie between the sheets, but I just turn to BOB and the thought of having to compromise and inlist someone goes right out the door. You can always tell when BOB has been enough for me.

      I always had reasons to being I a relationship, very few times it was because of LOVE being the main reason. He was the hottest guy in ompany, I wanted kids, I wanted my nest feathered, I wanted sex. Love was just the sugar coating.

      1. Ah Ha, we all have our reasons my dear. It is okay, whatever your reason. I can’t say that I see my reasons the same way BUT if a man gets to hold my heart he is lucky…
        NBOB is always a pleaser though! πŸ˜‰

        1. AH OH says:

          DC Never let’s me down. And I do not need to talk to him after. πŸ˜‰

          1. 😜 exactly…just do your job and stfu! πŸ’œπŸ’‹πŸ˜ˆ

  14. FFL says:


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