I’ve just received a very expensive gift for xmas from N along with an info that he is planning to book a month of holiday for himself …. The gift will stay unsed by me. it does not bother me, but what kind of tool he has used on me? doing two things to me at the same time to draw two different opposite emotions?? is there a name for that dear G.?
He did this! The first Narc went through his house and collected all the stuff he didn’t want anymore, and proudly handed them over to me as gifts! And, he was glowing with pride.
thank You so much… I realised he does that a lot but I cant understand the reasons. what should be my appropriate reaction to this machinations if You don’t mind advising pls?
Hypnotized, it was before he started his most blatant devaluation on me, so when he gave me is old, unwanted stuff from his house, I regarded it as it simply being all he knew, and I resigned to his “gifts”, and thanked him graciously. After he left, I put a couple of the gifts in the box that was for the Goodwill to take. One day, though, after he bought my engagement ring from a thrift store, I decided to try to explain to him why this hurt my feelings. I got Word-salads in response, circle talking, excuses, and that I was very much “in the wrong”. There are two ways to go: accept graciously to keep the peace, or argue and possibly have a major argument because he will only see it his way.
Five old things? You mean like some dredged-up argument from five years ago, or a memory of how I ruined Christmas dinner by showing up drunk 10 years ago?
Ah, thanks for clarifying. I did not understand what 5 old things were. Good thing I was not the same size or gender as my narcs 😉 I did not get hand me downs. My narcs were generous in the gift giving department. Perhaps it was because I was only with each for just a few years?
i wish to God some of them would be my Christmas decorations and sentimental ornaments of 47 years of mine and 24 of my son’s! please! 🙂 but…ah..it’s horrible and heartbreaking….but u can’t take it with u .so…. im just starting over….what can u do. nothing.
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Some might say it’s the thought that counts. Everything counts.
4 nasty words
3 false friends
2 violent shoves
And an overnight stay in A and E
5 old things that are useless to you. How mean!
How ungrateful!
But you know i’ll take whatever you give me 😊😉❤️
I’ve just received a very expensive gift for xmas from N along with an info that he is planning to book a month of holiday for himself …. The gift will stay unsed by me. it does not bother me, but what kind of tool he has used on me? doing two things to me at the same time to draw two different opposite emotions?? is there a name for that dear G.?
It is the simple contrast that he engage in so much of what we do.
He did this! The first Narc went through his house and collected all the stuff he didn’t want anymore, and proudly handed them over to me as gifts! And, he was glowing with pride.
thank You so much… I realised he does that a lot but I cant understand the reasons. what should be my appropriate reaction to this machinations if You don’t mind advising pls?
Hypnotized, it was before he started his most blatant devaluation on me, so when he gave me is old, unwanted stuff from his house, I regarded it as it simply being all he knew, and I resigned to his “gifts”, and thanked him graciously. After he left, I put a couple of the gifts in the box that was for the Goodwill to take. One day, though, after he bought my engagement ring from a thrift store, I decided to try to explain to him why this hurt my feelings. I got Word-salads in response, circle talking, excuses, and that I was very much “in the wrong”. There are two ways to go: accept graciously to keep the peace, or argue and possibly have a major argument because he will only see it his way.
Five old things? You mean like some dredged-up argument from five years ago, or a memory of how I ruined Christmas dinner by showing up drunk 10 years ago?
Why not Cara alongwith some tat we don’t want which we pass off as a gift for you.
Ah, thanks for clarifying. I did not understand what 5 old things were. Good thing I was not the same size or gender as my narcs 😉 I did not get hand me downs. My narcs were generous in the gift giving department. Perhaps it was because I was only with each for just a few years?
I am afraid to ask what kind of Christmas You used to have as a child my dear G.?
Better not to.
I am ever so sorry dear G… I won’t ask again. 😔❤
hg. please share
I shall in due course.
ofcourse You will. ..
i wish to God some of them would be my Christmas decorations and sentimental ornaments of 47 years of mine and 24 of my son’s! please! 🙂 but…ah..it’s horrible and heartbreaking….but u can’t take it with u .so…. im just starting over….what can u do. nothing.