The Vainglorious 20



To say that my kind and me have a high opinion of ourselves is to put it too low. We are superior, of an elevated status and ethereally stunning and wonderful. Our achievements are magnificent, our accomplishments legion and we leave you mere mortals trailing in our wake. We know you look on, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, a mixture of awe and envy washing over you. How good it must be to be like us, you wonder. Well not only are we spectacular and scintillating we are generous too, so generous that I can share with you twenty of our excessively vain and self-centred comments. You may have heard a number of these said to you, about you or just uttered in your general earshot as we gaze nobly towards the horizon. If you have, you know you are dealing with one of our kind and that we wholeheatedly believe these comments irrespective of how pompous, hypocritical ,vain or ridiculous they may sound.All that matters to us is ensuring we gain a reaction to them.

  1. I don’t complain, I advise.
  2. I do, I am not done to.
  3. Don’t be sorry. Be accurate.
  4. I turn heads. I turn sexual preferences.
  5. I own you.
  6. I have every right to do this.
  7. I never lie.
  8. I achieved all this without any help whatsoever.
  9. I made you what you are today.
  10. I am very much in touch with my feelings.
  11. I hate liars.
  12. It is all down to me.
  13. I am a god.
  14. If it wasn’t for me, nothing would get done round here.
  15. I think of everyone but myself. I am too giving at times.
  16. It can be hard being this well-loved.
  17. I cannot help being so popular.
  18. They are my people. They get understand me,
  19. Everyone wants to either be me or be with me.
  20. I am the puppet master and the piper. Deal with it.

17 thoughts on “The Vainglorious 20

  1. jarwithaheavylid says:

    “I never lied until I met you.”

  2. Trishe says:

    You missed out ‘ Wait till I come to power. ‘

  3. Snow White says:

    When my ex repeatedly told me she hated liars and being lied to was she thinking about all the lies she told in a day and how dare anyone lie to her?
    Is it all because of your entitlement?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      She would be stating that in order to create a façade of virtue, to appeal to your empathic honesty and to con you into thinking she acted honestly.

  4. WideAwake says:

    Spot on! Thank you HG
    My eyes are wider & wider from reading your work

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You might even be said to be WideAwake, WideAwake! Thank you.

  5. ava101 says:

    Puppet master AND piper! Uuuhhh ….

  6. nikitalondon says:

    I heard all this list from my higher ex. Could be him writing it.

  7. Bloody Elemental says:

    Check, check and check.

    Also, the word vainglorious is stunning. I love the way it rolls off the tongue.

  8. Hope says:

    When you say “I never lie” are you chuckling inside, thinking “I just never tell the truth?”

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Oh yes.

  9. Insatiable Learner says:

    Thank you very much for confirming my understanding, HG! Much appreciated!

    1. HG Tudor says:


  10. Ginger says:

    I wonder about the non greater narcs…do they have their own understanding of what love is…do they think they love someone or something or do they know they cannot truly love.
    Also I was thinking about an idea for you if you haven’t already done this.
    How about a glossary of terms..a dictionary of sorts for all your terms and acronyns..according to HG?
    I’d go as far as interpreting emotions or other words that stand out in your lexicon
    So we can understand them better, from your perspective.
    Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Ginger, yes that is correct.

      As for a glossary of terms, thank you for the suggestion but this already exists in A Grimoire of Narcissism. I also need to update that as well.

  11. Insatiable Learner says:

    I heard a variation of #7 and 15. “I will never lie to you. I think lying is pointless and only creates problems.” I bet he added “to you” to make me feel extra special. What do you think, HG? Another brilliant article!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I agree IL. The focus on you being as to place you at the centre of his universe and of course it meant he could tell lies everywhere else.

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.