27 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 115”
It is so sad that the words are like clouds: they are inconsistent and cloud the sight and the mind.
If I had been deaf maybe I understood better and before because I considered more to the facts. It is so strange that when words and facts are so different we always listen only the words and don’t see the reality of yhe facts. To hear a false “love” we pay with our mental and physical health. The problem aren’t only of narcissist. The problem is also inside of us. Why we are so selectively blind? Why we are so hungry for affection?
It’s crazy sad, Noah! That’s why I am so grateful I found HG’s blog because now I’m truly able to learn about who I am and why I’ve always been so selectively blind and hungry for affection. I can’t fault others, until I learn who I really am.
You’re right…we need to understand deeply ourself to understand why we are selectively blind and hungry for affection to not fall again in the same mistake. H.G. is a rare pearl among the people of his kind because he showed and using his world to create awareness and salvation in which, like us, falls as victims of narcissists. This is a real positive, clean, usefull for all and growing fuel that H.G. can gains.
Thank you H.G. 😘
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You are welcome Noah80.
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Do you have any articles about going to a marriage therapist with one of your brethren?
That would be interesting.
I do not have any articles but when Asylum of the Grotesque comes out you may find the chapter dealing with when I attended a relationship counsellor with my ex-wife both interesting and entertaining.
‘entertaining’ you say? It sounds like it would be. I can barely wait!
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I’ll be interested in reading that, as well. The ex-MN told me he and his wife went to counseling after the 2nd year, but that they both left feeling like it was a waste of time. I can only imagine how it all went down.
HG,
Do you think that all of the narcissists targets exhibit perfectionist tendencies? Making them eager to live up to your unattainable standards despite being devalued?
No I don’t think that all exhibit perfectionist tendencies ABB, for instance the Victim narcissist will not do so at all. Other cadres may exhibit perfectionism in their forte but not others and ultimately expedience to achieve, takes precedence over dotting every and I and cross every T.
If you don`t mind, I want to tell you what I see in this great picture. I see a man, who got knifes in his back. Each knife is a strong injury and violation. But these injuries made the male part of you hard. It seems as if there is a dragon now. A very hard dragon. This is the male part of you. Also I see a female part of you. This female part sees all the injuries.And she has to keep the injuries. She is the one who is hurt again and again and again. But for your male existence it is too hurtful, therefore you take your girlfriend. She has to feel your feelings. You put your feelings on her. But there is also a male/female part of you. She/He, a very young and beautiful man, looks away from the violations. Nevertheless there is a female part. So, if you want to, you can develop your female part to be a whole human. I see how you help here so many people to understand. I think, very often you identify yourself with your aggressor. And you switch between identifying with your aggressor and the other part of you, which was a victim of a very violent aggression. And you don`t want to be a victim. No more. And that is o.k.
I don`t know, if the female head is of Audrey Munson or of Evelyn Nesbit. Both would make sense. I cannot tell you better, what I see. And if you do not want to publish this comment, please feel free to delete it. I would delete it. It is too private. But please, first think about it.
I was advised ‘go by his behavior, not by his words.’ The problem is that his behavior itself was so inconsistent. When he sees me, he was so affectionate, so kind. The minute he’s out the door, he would not call for days. When he finally did contact me several days later, i would tell him i miss him and asked if he missed me too. He would reply ‘i don’t miss people.’ 😫
This is probably when my ptsd started.
Actions speak louder. Yes. Sticking the knife in is painful. Pulling it out gives the sadistic pleasure…right before the bleed out. Smile. This has happened to you too…sucks, it does, HG.
It is so sad that the words are like clouds: they are inconsistent and cloud the sight and the mind.
If I had been deaf maybe I understood better and before because I considered more to the facts. It is so strange that when words and facts are so different we always listen only the words and don’t see the reality of yhe facts. To hear a false “love” we pay with our mental and physical health. The problem aren’t only of narcissist. The problem is also inside of us. Why we are so selectively blind? Why we are so hungry for affection?
It’s crazy sad, Noah! That’s why I am so grateful I found HG’s blog because now I’m truly able to learn about who I am and why I’ve always been so selectively blind and hungry for affection. I can’t fault others, until I learn who I really am.
Thank you, HG, for being a great teacher!
You’re right…we need to understand deeply ourself to understand why we are selectively blind and hungry for affection to not fall again in the same mistake. H.G. is a rare pearl among the people of his kind because he showed and using his world to create awareness and salvation in which, like us, falls as victims of narcissists. This is a real positive, clean, usefull for all and growing fuel that H.G. can gains.
Thank you H.G. 😘
You are welcome Noah80.
Do you have any articles about going to a marriage therapist with one of your brethren?
That would be interesting.
I do not have any articles but when Asylum of the Grotesque comes out you may find the chapter dealing with when I attended a relationship counsellor with my ex-wife both interesting and entertaining.
Waiting anxiously for it ❤
‘entertaining’ you say? It sounds like it would be. I can barely wait!
I’ll be interested in reading that, as well. The ex-MN told me he and his wife went to counseling after the 2nd year, but that they both left feeling like it was a waste of time. I can only imagine how it all went down.
Oh I bet it will be .thank you
HG,
Do you think that all of the narcissists targets exhibit perfectionist tendencies? Making them eager to live up to your unattainable standards despite being devalued?
No I don’t think that all exhibit perfectionist tendencies ABB, for instance the Victim narcissist will not do so at all. Other cadres may exhibit perfectionism in their forte but not others and ultimately expedience to achieve, takes precedence over dotting every and I and cross every T.
Thanks. Do they value that perfectionism in their victim? The victim being the one trying to reach unreasonably high standards set by the narcissist?
Pleasure. Yes, I agree with that.
If you don`t mind, I want to tell you what I see in this great picture. I see a man, who got knifes in his back. Each knife is a strong injury and violation. But these injuries made the male part of you hard. It seems as if there is a dragon now. A very hard dragon. This is the male part of you. Also I see a female part of you. This female part sees all the injuries.And she has to keep the injuries. She is the one who is hurt again and again and again. But for your male existence it is too hurtful, therefore you take your girlfriend. She has to feel your feelings. You put your feelings on her. But there is also a male/female part of you. She/He, a very young and beautiful man, looks away from the violations. Nevertheless there is a female part. So, if you want to, you can develop your female part to be a whole human. I see how you help here so many people to understand. I think, very often you identify yourself with your aggressor. And you switch between identifying with your aggressor and the other part of you, which was a victim of a very violent aggression. And you don`t want to be a victim. No more. And that is o.k.
I don`t know, if the female head is of Audrey Munson or of Evelyn Nesbit. Both would make sense. I cannot tell you better, what I see. And if you do not want to publish this comment, please feel free to delete it. I would delete it. It is too private. But please, first think about it.
Thank you Mona, that was an eloquent and well-reasoned observation which has force.
It sure does, HG. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mona.
Amen. It teaches you to get rid of more people in your life than just the narc.
Oh dear… It makes me sad… it reminds me that the most dear people in Your childhood have hurted You immensely… I am so sorry that it happened to You 😢
I was advised ‘go by his behavior, not by his words.’ The problem is that his behavior itself was so inconsistent. When he sees me, he was so affectionate, so kind. The minute he’s out the door, he would not call for days. When he finally did contact me several days later, i would tell him i miss him and asked if he missed me too. He would reply ‘i don’t miss people.’ 😫
This is probably when my ptsd started.
The inconsistency in his behaviour was the very thing to look out for PANA.
Thank you HG.
Actions speak louder. Yes. Sticking the knife in is painful. Pulling it out gives the sadistic pleasure…right before the bleed out. Smile. This has happened to you too…sucks, it does, HG.
OK
True dat. Silver tongue. Sorry, platinum tongue.