That’s Not Important

Our sense of entitlement, lack of consideration and our failure to recognise and respect boundaries means that we are important and you are not. Our need is an emergency. Your needs are secondary. Our requirements are fundamental. Your wants are irrelevant. If we want something it must be done and you must drop everything else, cancel your plans and ensure we are provided for and catered to otherwise all hell breaks loose. Fail to do something we want and when we want (even if we haven’t told you what it is) is regarded by us a criticism and our fury is ignited. We may impose a cold furious silent treatment or lambast you with our heated fury but either way we are important and you are not. We show no appreciation of your situation, no consideration of your position and scant regard for what you might need or have to contend with. It is predictable all about us. Any situation, any time and any moment we will trample all over what you are doing in order to get what we want done. Whatever you may have organised, planned or whatever you are doing is minutiae and utterly inconsequential to the massively important event, occurrence or happening that we have decreed. Expect interruptions, abrasive treatment and a complete lack of manners and consideration. This mind-set that what you are doing is not important appears often and repeated and is symptomatic of so many of our narcissistic traits. Here are twenty instances you may recognise where what you are doing is not important right now.

  1. Talking over you.
  2. Changing channel on the television when you are clearly watching something.
  3. Switching off music that you are listening to.
  4. Playing music loudly when you are relaxing.
  5. Thrusting a newspaper under your nose when you are reading a book and saying “look at this”
  6. Talking to you when you are on the telephone.
  7. Calling you at work and raising a trivial matter and demanding that you do something about it.
  8. Asking you to pass something that is in reach when you are doing some other task.
  9. Saying la la la when you are trying to explain something.
  10. Making you late because we needed you to straighten our tie several times first.
  11. Calling you indoors from an outdoors task just to point out something on the television which is irrelevant.
  12. Calling you and asking where something is when it is easy to find.
  13. Calling you when you are socialising and demanding that you return home to deal with an emergency – such as the blinds are stuck or we have run out of peanut butter
  14. Demanding you prepare our evening meal when you are trying to get ready to go out.
  15. Feigning a greater illness when you are unwell.
  16. Waking you up to tell you something pointless.
  17. Ringing the landline from our mobile (withholding the number) and insisting you answer when you are trying to eat and then hanging up.
  18. Demanding to be picked up or given a lift irrespective of what you might be doing.
  19. Using items you need to complete a task.
  20. Thrusting a tablet under your nose as you are trying to do something and telling you to “watch this” only to see a video of a man falling down some stairs.

It does not matter how trivial, ridiculous or childish the behaviour is as long as it disrupts you and thrusts your attention onto us, even if it is to react in a negative way, we will always behave in such a way.

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30 thoughts on “That’s Not Important”

  1. I thought those things were cute. It never bothered me to completely revolve my schedule/my life around them. I felt it my duty… I was wanted, needed.

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    1. Yes…you are/were correct in feeling that he needs you…to feed his pain and fill an angry void. He will feed off of you til you no longer exist…and then leave the shell with no thoughts of remorse or regret. I believe this because I have fallen into the same trap. What about you? When was the last time what you needed mattered…to you? At times I can’t even remember when “I” really mattered.

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  2. Hilarious. During a phone conversation, Dickula would literally start humming a tune in the middle of a serious discussion, Of course only when I was expressing my feelings. Or he would “fall asleep” and start snoring.

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  3. My questions is:
    Since a narc will never admit to it how can you tell which narc they are and if they are aware of who they are?

    How do greater narcs know who they are and the lesser and mid range do not?

    And do lessers advance to midrange to greater with age and honing their skills? Or will they always remain a lesser ect.?

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    1. Read Sitting Target to understand more about the traits.

      Their cognitive function and a catalyst which has caused awareness.

      No they do not, one stays within the same school.

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  4. I thought that this person was just addicted to drama! As if that wasn’t enough! Now to find out there’s more to it…ugh

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    1. Yes its devistating but im so relieved i no longer have to rack my brain trying to wrap my head around such craziness

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  5. This sooo my life for 13 years. And add jail and prison on top of that. Tryin to run me while he’s locked up.

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      1. Thank you. I actually have some narcissistic character traits and I am aware of that…I am not fighting too much with it either, they help me to survive in US and in business. As to membership card-I will wait impatiently for the mailman 🙂

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      2. It is a very prestigious membership Banana. Carry it well. I’ve been trying to gain access. Alas, I’m not qualified.

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  6. Oh my goodness, some of that is so ridiculous, it made me laugh! 😀 So desperate for attention they are. Waking me up at night to tell me something irrelevant, that’s a wholly different matter though: he would only do that *once*!! 😀 😀

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  7. Dear G. You are Master at everything .. if I was to join and try to become a N would that be somehow possible if one was committed? under Your leadership everything seems possible. …what do You think?

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  8. This one still makes me laugh bc some of these I have used and others I have laughed when used on me. HG are you on double secret probation (whatever that is)?

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      1. Hmm. DSP. Idk what caused that to pop into my head. Maybe it was my juvenile sense of humor…or my N tendencies…or both. I thought I responded, but maybe I didn’t. Maybe I was distracted. It really doesn’t matter. DSP and that movie still make me laugh. Not hangin out at the frat.

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  9. HG. Do I pass the narc test? You once told me that I showed promise when I failed a test on purpose bc someone was peeking on my answers for the test we were taking. Pissed me off.

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      1. Lol. You can join my group Jaded. Those narcs seem too stuffy anyway. Always seeking vengeance and world domination.

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