The Narcissistic Truths – No. 153

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120 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 153”

    1. Hi NSS I do understand the triangulate part. Sometimes I just don’t get the why then take a deep breath and let it go.
      I am getting ready for my vacation next month, and I am doing good. Thank for asking. x

      1. Don’t be jealous NSS come join
        It is the last week of March it feels so far away.

  1. Narcissistic Truth #666
    There is no such thing as a hybrid. You either are or you are not.

    Appendix to Narcissistic Truth #666:
    That is cranberry juice on my sheets. Cran-apple, in fact.

      1. I bet you also have a penchant for Valentino suits and Oliver Peoples glasses. πŸ˜‰

    1. One can have psychopathic and narcissistic characteristics. In addition to this take into account comorbidity. It is far more complex than that silly. Some theorists argue there are different variants of psychopathy while others will contend narcissism and psychopathy on the same spectrum. My scholarly friend you intrigue me.

      1. Not even close to the point I was making with my comment, HQ.

        There are some who have claimed to be sociopath/empath hybrids and I take issue with this for a number of reasons. Firstly, it does not make sense medically or scientifically, and secondly, it is a dangerous claim to make since it could give those who are entangled with a socio/psycho the idea that it is possible for us to become empathic over time.

        It could present a false hope to someone who is hanging on to hope that the person they love, who is hurting and abusing them, could become an empath over time.

        We “learn” empathy in order to mimic it back to those we seek to trip up in our wires. It is all part of the illusion. We will not truly feel empathy or become empathic because A. we see no reason to do so and B. we are incapable of feeling it in the first place. Some of us are born this way, some of us are created to be this way, for some, it is a mix of both.

        Whether we know what we are or not, the fact remains – we do not see our behaviour has being abnormal and thus, we will not see the need to change anything about the way we are.

        I absolutely understand the simultaneous presence of two chronic diseases or conditions in a patient (comorbidity) and how it relates to antisocial personality disorder.

        It is possible for some of those who are diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder to also have neurodevelopment disorders, anxiety disorders, conduct or impulse control disorders, substance addiction and addictive disorders and depressive disorders, to name a few.

        I am not a scholar, nor am I a doctor and I never claimed to be. I am a voracious consumer of information and it is to my benefit to be educated about who and what I am so I can have intelligent conversations with others.

        Do be sure and give my kindest and warmest regards to The Joker and the rest of the Suicide Squad, Harley.

    2. Bloody- it may not be possible to be sociopath-empath hybrid, but it is most certainly possibly to be a narcissist-empath hybrid.

      I am not talking about NPD here, but the characteristics that make someone narcissistic. Narcissism is on a continuum, perhaps even a spectrum. We all sit on it somewhere πŸ™‚

      There is of course a thing called ‘healthy narcissism’. Even if you start to slide further up that scale, it is still possible to have characteristics of both.

      However, I’d agree that it’s not likely to be possible if you are a sociopath or NPD or a psychopath.

      1. Sunshine,

        I am aware that many people are narcissistic to some degree.

        I already stated, I am speaking about the so-called “disordered” of our kind because someone commented that they were a “sociopath/empath hybrid” which is simply not possible.

        It is not healthy narcissism I am debating here.

  2. This man thou is definately better tlooking then the creature from the black lagoon,

    Sorry I was really thinking that is one hell of a water hole you step in there HG

    1. I think this man was walking casually down the path enjoying the scenery, when suddenly….
      SINKHOLE! Curse you Fracking!
      *shakes fist* *says to nobody* “Is my hair okay?”

    1. Hannah,

      After dealing with the narcs in my life I was cynical and harbor hate and discontent like you. It was almost impossible to gather my thoughts daily. Once I ascertained what they are and will always be. Next, I started to look within, I knew it had to be more than my empathetic traits that allowed me to not only attract them but to remain with them after the emotional abuse. If H.G.(thank you in advance) permits I will like to share article with you. I am not a Buddhist and I don’t practice religion I believe in relationship. See below by Michael Fouraine

      Accessing higher states of consciousness is often mistakenly believed to be something only mystics, sages, monks, gurus and shaman are capable of, but the truth is, we all are capable of accessing higher states of consciousness. All of us have had some experience with higher states at some point in our lives. Metaphorically speaking, we are all bouncing along like a wave in an ocean of consciousness, constantly in motion between various states, some higher, some lower than the previous ones, and sometimes just shifting sideways on even ground. Depression is a very low state of consciousness compared to joy. Gratitude is a much higher state than envy. Deep concentration, intense learning, or problem solving are much higher states of consciousness than wallowing in self pity, self doubt, or being lost in fantastical thinking and daydreaming. Some states are driven by emotions and others by mental or thought activity. Since thoughts and emotions react and interact with each other, both have easy influence over the lower states. The higher states tend to be more immune from internal or external influences than lower states. Higher states are governed by attention and concentration. The lower states are prone to distraction and wandering minds. They are frequently immersed in self destructive or self impeding behaviours, operating from outside of conscious awareness, by the sub-consciously driven Ego.

      As elusive as these higher states may sound, they are not as rare and difficult to access as they may seem, and odds are that you have already experienced glimpses of them before. If you have ever had a moment that ‘took your breath away’, such as seeing a falling star, or seeing some magnificent wonder of nature, you have experienced a state of higher consciousness. At that moment, you were not thinking about your grocery list, or the local gossip, or worrying about tomorrow, or feeling fear or anxiety, or any other lower state of being. You were fully engaged in the present moment, and at peace with that moment.

      Artist, musicians, and athletes access some of these higher states routinely. Artists can become deeply absorbed, almost entranced in their work. Intense focus on detail and perfection causes them to become so deeply connected with their artwork that nothing else exists at that moment.

      Creativity is a higher state of consciousness, and creativity is a manifestation of inspiration. Merriam Webster defines inspiration as: “a divine influence or action on a person believed to qualify him or her to receive and communicate sacred revelation; the action or power of moving the intellect or emotions”.

      Musicians not only rely on creativity but must also have strong intense focus and concentration while engaged in their craft. If they allow their mind to wander off into a daydream, they can quickly lose concentration and drop their rhythmand their music will be negatively impacted.

      Athletes, who are always looking for a competitive edge, have come to recognise a phenomenon they call ‘Being in the Zone’. Wordnik.com defines ‘In the Zone’ as “a mental state of focused concentration on the performance of an activity, in which one dissociates oneself from distracting or irrelevant aspects of one’s environment.” What this translates to is, being fully immersed in the present moment without the distractions of a wandering mind. Meditation and Mindfulness have become routine practice for many athletes who want to learn to stay ‘in the zone’.

      Common to all of these higher states, the creativity of the artist, the intense concentration of the musician, the athlete’s ‘zone’, and the states the mystics speak of, is that they are all rooted in the present moment, and operate outside of conventional or fantastical thought. The higher the state of consciousness, the more rooted in the present moment, the less influenced by the Ego, and the quieter and more peaceful the mind becomes.

      All of the lower states of consciousness share some common traits as well. They are Ego driven, disconnected from reality in varying degrees, and the mind is almost continually being engaged in endless loops of mental chatter and monkey mind theatrics. The lower the state, the greater the disconnect from reality, and the bigger the Ego. An example of this can be seen in thought disorders such as psychopathic or narcissistic behaviours, both of which are associated with ‘big egos’ and a disconnect from reality, and both are clearly very low states of existence. The implications of learning how to gain control over our own minds and states of consciousness are quite profound. If a person could learn to manage their own thoughts and mental states, they could regain control over their own thought disorders and drastically improve the quality of their life.πŸ€”πŸ€”

      Among the lowest of states that we can can encounter are those that hijack our consciousness and completely disconnect us from reality. Daydreams and fantasies are the playground of the Ego and can cause us to indulge in unrealistic expectations of life, setting us up for even lower states of suffering when reality does not live up to our expectations. When mystics speak of quieting the mind, it is daydreams and fantastical thinking they are referring to, not skillful uses of thought. For many people, a wandering mind has become the default state that consciousness falls into when the mind is not engaged in intentional purposeful activity. Putting the brakes on fantastical thinking leads to an end to our self created mental suffering and allows the mind to migrate toward resting silently whenever it is not being intentionally put to skillful use.

      Bridging between higher and lower realms of consciousness are states that still involve using imagination and conventional thought, (words and pictures in the mind) but are rooted in the present moment, and used for skillful purposes such as problem solving, learning, concentration, deep listening, and includes any states that are free from Ego.

      There are various methods of focusing our concentration and attention inward with the intention of understanding our own mind for the purpose of mental self healing. From this simple activity we can learn to recognise and consciously shift away from self harming, self defeating, and self limiting states, and gravitate toward higher ones. They teach methods of honing concentration and awareness through practices like Samadhi meditation, training the mind to stabilise and not constantly wander off aimlessly. Concentration and attention put the mind into learning mode. Every student has heard a teacher exclaim “Pay attention or you will never learn anything!”πŸ’―

      Practices like Vipassana meditation consciously engage the mind in the activity of simply paying attention to itself. This is done for the purpose of learning more about ourselves, and uncovering the real causes of our lower states of consciousness and self created suffering, and then developing mental skills that allow us to consciously choose to let go of and disengage from any mental activity that is not serving in the best interests of our selves or of others.

      Through simple non-judgemental observation of our mental activity we start to notice how thoughts and emotions influence each other, and ultimately influence our actions, and reactions. We are literally seeing our own Kharma. When we objectively observe the mind without judgement from a higher state of consciousness like learning, our mind starts to connect the dots, and we start to recognise harmful thought patterns, and we learn to take responsibility for harmful thoughts by not indulging in them. By letting go of them we are not giving them any of our energy. When we indulge in thought patterns, we are feeding them with our energy, and they will keep coming back for more in repetitive loops that can quickly spiral out of control. When we stop feeding them, they wither and die off. We are signalling the mind that these thoughts are not important enough to waste energy on, which starts to break down the feedback loops and the lower states of the repetitive monkey mind. As these repetitive patterns of Egoic thought start to break down, quiet space in the mind starts to open up, and the mind shifts naturally into higher states.

      Advancements in the fields of psychology and neuroplasticity continue to validate mind is not fixed and rigid, but rather, that it can be moulded and reshaped. It can be re-trained to avoid harmful states of consciousness, states that many people seem to almost wallow in, states that are really nothing more than mental bad habits that have become addictive. Like any bad habit, breaking it starts with bringing awareness to the problem, recognising when it is occurring, and letting go, re-directing consciousness to some other activity that is rooted in presence, such as mindfulness or watching the breath. Repetition, vigilance and diligence are key to breaking the bad habits of the mind. Developing introspective self awareness carries the power to bring about the type of profound inner changes that lead to true trans-formative enlightenment and an end to our self harming and self created suffering.

      1. Entertainment.

        Thank you for posting the article you found. Its really thought provoking and interesting. I like the part about “mental bad habits”…what a good way of putting it…I never thought of my worries as “bad mental habits!” How true… ! This really helps me to focus. I need to break mental habits that are doing me no good. I’m going to give this a bit of a try, aswell as reading my new books of HGs. Concentrating more ..redirecting my mind from pain….and become more aware of my behaviour i.e. like obsessing over an issue..! I want to really try to redirect my mind with a view to being a lot more calm… to be fair I’ve been feeling so much better lately just with the new things I’ve been learning, so this whole thing in the article makes loads of sense… once again thank you for posting it. 🌷There is such a lot to learn and its exciting taking back control after so much stress. Its good to take real positive steps and also having the recognition from other people on this blog who have suffered and who help one another is so vitally important. Thank you to everyone who has said positive and helpful things to help everybody else.
        God bless you. ⚘⚘

      2. Debbie,
        You must know I am in tears. I am happy you found the article helpful. I think it was important and probably mainly my ego that wanted to delve deeper into gaining knowledge of the narcissist. HG, was extremely helpful in my recovery in that aspect and also provided the closure I was seeking. Trying to come back from the cognitive dissonance was hard for me. That part lead me into searching how I contribute to these relationships other than being an empath. I was in cognitive therapy it didn’t help. I read books and did the worksheets. None of those methods work for me. I wasn’t looking for mystic or monks peace in serene 😊 I just wanted monkey thinking and all the negative thoughts to cease. I know that if I am accountable for me and my actions that I should never place that in the hands of another. It’s like giving them the gun and saying shoot me. So my goal is to set healthy boundaries and expectations for myself and those around me. I wish you the very best .

  3. He’s a loser with no real life. Of course this stupid blog with like 3 views (the other 2million are him). That’s the same exact reason my comment right here will never get posted.

    Don’t let your dick get tol hard HG.

      1. Do I have to be a blogger to “like” this? I want to like so many comments, but can’t. Oh well, I love it, HG… haha!

        P.S. I wish some would learn the difference between then and than … just saying πŸ™‚

    1. Why so angry Hannah banana? He has a following because he is interesting and useful to people.

    2. There was another poster named Claudia on not long ago with the same accusations and same distasteful comments. Hmmm…

      1. I think this Claudia person have about 15 personality/profiles. She had 3 going one day poor thing even commented on one her own responses.
        I feel bad for her.

      1. Such an existential question! Ultimately, we are all each other, aren’t we? Just particles swapping owners… **HG. Got any snacks? I finished my brownies ;)**

    1. I’m not fake Hannah ,at least I wasn’t the last time I looked,let me check. …. …………… Yes all the right bits in all the right places .. Phew thank goodness for that .. πŸ™‚

      1. Hi Twilight πŸ™‚

        Thanks so much for your message . I’m doing great ty . Ignoring ex narcs attempts to ” triangulate me ” Yet again zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz lol .
        How’s thing with you ?? xx

  4. Mr. Tudor, can you please explain to me why an ex narc would take pics of me passed out in the emergency room, save them for a few years, and then send them to me as a Hoover?

      1. Mine it is just doing that..
        digging up memories to play on my intense emotions.
        We never lived together. He never lived together with anyone.

    1. Love, didn`t he say, that he is about 61? This is only his dream. He believes he is still looking like that.He always looks into the mirror without glasses. The truth is he looks like Donald T. Both of nearly the same size and blond!

      1. Mona
        When did he say he was 61? I know he said he was 6’1″
        Unless I am misreasing your question then my apologies.

      2. Well I do believe even when you do reach 61 (a long time from now) you will still be going strong and even more magnificent then you are now.

      3. HG could be 71 for all we know. No one has ever seen him only heard him. I have to confess your voice on utube HG sounds old. Its so easy to portray any image you want behind a keyboard unless we actually see who were talking to. For all we know youre fat short and bald πŸ˜‚ Not meant as a criticism but truth. You do have a great talent writing tho πŸ™‚

      4. His pop culture references (especially love for Depeche Mode) place him much younger than 71 though. I’m still sticking with 49 and still fine…

      5. Clarece, originally I said 50 to early 50’s, but since he got a bit pissy over that thought, I’ll drop it a few notches and match up with your assessment. I’m hoping you’ll feel better about that, HG πŸ˜‰πŸ’«

      6. 22? Tsk… Tsk HG. You know I have a distinct point of reference with JN, and, well, you are much more, shall I say seasoned than him. Lol

      7. Ohhhh… You have no idea how I’m holding back right now… Lol
        Hi Night HG. Let’s be friends.

      8. ME? Despicable? HAHAHAHAHA πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        You’re funny, and Matrinarc doesn’t scare me so go blubber to her if you’d like. I’m sure I can kick her ass if need be πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ˜‰

      9. Lol running to tell Marinarc sorry don’t ever see that happening.

        If I were to guess mid to upper 30’s, this gives enough time for life experiences, education and a profession to be established.
        You are young and old, your wit and charm keep you young, your experiences and education make you older.
        Then your voice it holds the playfulness of a young man and the strength and confidence of an older gentleman.

        Yet you have not shown but a brief glimpse of ……..
        To me you will always be the one

        Take care HG and have a wonderful weekend!

      10. Narcissists are crafty as we know so a 71 yr narc is very much capable of knowing about depeche mode πŸ˜†
        Until i see a vid not a pic of HG im not formulating any guess to age. Based on voice we at least know hes not a woman πŸ‘
        Will we ever get to see you in videos HG? Its not like you murdered anyone πŸ˜‚ come out of hiding well protect you πŸ€—πŸ’“ maybe youre shy in real life?

      11. 71? Slowly developing smile….and I got the naughty step for guessing 47? πŸ˜‚

      12. Well regardless of age i enjoy your works! Im just a nosey rosey is all lol πŸ’“

      13. He’s 6′ 1, blonde, blue eyes, 39 (ish), athletic, intelligent, with a rapier wit, a voice that will drench your panties, and requires a huge codpiece…..and well….. there just isnt the room here.

        PS Oh…..he’ll also eat your liver with a nice Chianti

      14. NA,
        Blonde? Did he confess Blonde? 39? Pshhh…you got that right about The Voice! Catch me up, girl! I’ve been off and on and a bit behind on the social side here. Has he confessed his job elsewhere (wondering if I should continue quizzing him on his candy factory).

      15. INDY
        No he did not confess. Even if you guessed right I doubt he would admit. Too identifying. But its fun to try. . He did say blonde and blue eyed (if we can believe a Narcissist). 39 ish was my guess ( sounded better than 40 ish lol). The rest is fact.

      16. HG,
        What are the ladies turning you into? In some genres of music pop/hip hop artists refer to the??? as domes. Of course, you had no knowledge. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      17. NA,
        Totally! That s what I have gathered about our short dark 60 year old man who deals in baseball card black market! (kidding HG).

      18. Haha, NarcAngel, your summary is fantastic. I’m with you about the *lol* 39ish. πŸ˜‰

      19. Yes Indy, Mr. Tudor said blonde and blue eyes. I’m picturing the young Robert Redford. Ahhhh, swoon 😍

      20. Hi Love,
        Well he told MLA waaayyy back that he was bald “as a coot” (I hate that saying, btw.) And, he told me I could think of him as raven haired (for my own sinister purposes LOL). Soooooo, blonde, shmonde. Dude could be a 55 year old dark skinned man with ebony eyes and caffee-mocha skin who is 5’7″ for all we know. (Don’t knock it, I like dark men that are closer to my petite height).

        Mocha choka ya ya ma ma….hey hey…

      21. Oh Indy, I’ve been the United Colors of Bennetton with my taste. I like them in all sizes and colors. Though I’ve never dabbled with a blonde before.

      22. Hi Love,
        I believe it. I too actually enjoy variety. For me, it is attitude and intelligence. I always seem to attract blondes(several exes), though my recent ex was a sexy salt and pepper (former brunette, so he said). I also dated one male that was complete chocolate yumminess. I am a softy for dark, more Mediterranean look. Though, that Ralph Fiennes…he would be one blonde I would not say no to…LOL

  5. Do narcs ever go away? They can’t possibly hoover everyone they’ve been with forever, can they? Is there that “special person” that is just on their radar constantly?

    1. We may in effect “go away” if there are no Hoover Triggers or if there are, the Hoover Execution Criteria are not met. Sometimes a person remains on the radar repeatedly because the Hoover Triggers keep being activated and the HEC are met. It is not that that person is “special” but rather they keep causing triggers and the bar is low on the HEC.

  6. Anna, I am with you…I don’t know whether to accept and love his broken presence or to shun him…so complex

  7. HG,
    I’m a confused magnetic empath sociopathic hybrid. Either this meme is a handsome voyeuristic man hopefully watching over me from afar for my protection or a creepy masher who is lurking deep in a puddle like the creature from the black lagoon. If you are the man in the picture, I like you either way. πŸ’™

      1. Hannah Banana, from Montana?
        I am hilarious and not creepy. Clowns are creepy. I am not a clown (I just play one on t.v.). This is a world of pure imagination. Remember you are dealing with the master illusionist. Living here we are free because we truly wish to be.

        Now about this being HG writing everything himself….
        *whispers while typing to HG my employer*
        “How did she find out?…….Kidnapping?…… You think”?

  8. Hello, HG. I escaped my narc and kind of exposed him because I called the police, I was in danger. He is now playing the victim. Do you think I would gain anything by telling his friends what he really is?

    1. Hello Myself, most likely you will not because

      1. He is already engaging in the pity plays so he is one step ahead;
      2. His friends will be brainwashed and therefore likely to reject what you say;
      3. You do not need his friends;
      4. You are better served by looking to your own defences.

      1. I think this is all BS. Pretending to have an “illness” to hide how creepy you are. Vomit.

    2. Don’t bother. They will never believe you. His friends are not your friends. Don’t forcibly push any information out, but don’t hide it, either. Tell your friends what he’s put you through, and the truth will trickle out. Stick to facts, rather than emotions, so he has less to work with when blameshifting and manipulating and trying to make you seem crazy.

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