The Five Wants of the Narcissist
- I want your fuel
I want your fuel. I want it all and I want it from you, him, her, them and especially you. I want it from the moment I rise until the moment I am embraced by slumber. I want it pouring over me, potent and plenty, gushing from you. I want your positive fuel, the joy, the adoration, the love, the passion and the praise. I want your negative fuel, the hatred, the anger, the tears and the fear. Pour it over me, immerse me in that edifying, invigorating and sustaining fuel. There is never enough and I want to keep on experiencing the surge as your fuel increases the flames inside me, burning and rising, powering me as I blaze a trail through the do. I want your fuel now, tomorrow and always.
- I want to engulf you
I am immense, a giant, a prince amongst men, a behemoth that moves with ease and purpose about the earth. I want to subsume you into me, ensuring that there is no trace of you left as I fully integrate you into what I am. I want my tendrils to reach out to you, feeling their way towards the fuel vapours that emanate from you, their probing senses tracking you down. I want them to coil about you and pull you towards me, binding you to me until steadily I suck you into my world and into my false reality. I want you hooked up, connected, locked-in, attached and embedded as little by little I consume you and encompass you with my greatness. You will not resist for the elation and delight that you experience as this process happens is irresistible. I want to own you, I want you to become part of me, I want there to be no start to you and any end to me.
- I want to be the one
I want to be the one that you think of all of the time. I want you to be the person that you orbit around, your sun, your centre of the universe. I want to be the one that is recognised for my greatness, for my brilliance and my achievements. I do not care that I have exaggerated them or stolen them from others whom I have brushed against, stripping away facets of their character to add to my own. I have no care for that. All I care is that I am the one towards whom heads turn when I enter a room. I am the one who is applauded. I want to be the one who leads, conquers and smites. The destroyer of worlds, the creator of new ones, a god. I want to be the one whose power radiates from him so that is tangible to all those who look upon me. I want to be the one who shocks and awes. I want to be the one who does. I want to be the one who rules, who presides and who dictates. I want to be the one you rely on, turn to and devote yourself too. I want to be the one who is credited for all successes, I want to be the one who is your alpha and your omega, your first thought and your last thought. I want to be the one whose name you utter with your dying breath.
- I want your essence
I am the stealer of souls, the charlatan that comes and with sugar-coated promises and offers you the world in exchange for your very essence. You never realise that this is the cost of this transaction but I want to suck the essence from within you, drain you of it and consume it for myself. I want to leave you a broken, dried out husk. I want your essence to fill the gaping hole that endures inside of me. I want that sweet, wonderful essence to flow through me, easing the pain, soothing the fevered freneticism and bring comfort and relief. Like a purifying river, I want your essence to course through me, sweeping away the disease that riddles me. I want your essence to wipe away the dirt, remove the smears and eradicate the stains. I know I flirt with all kinds of dirt, but your essence will save me from such temptation. That is why I want it.
- I want it to stop
Or do I?
26 thoughts on “The Five Wants of the Narcissist”
Oh such sweet positive fuel I pump and I give it gladly even though I know what you are. Copious amounts with no effort at all and you can drink it all day long. You dont have to steal my traits-I will cultivate more just for you. I wont ever steal your spotlight (even though we know I can) as I prefer to be the power behind the throne. And no one does blood and thunder anger and hatred like me once provoked. But tears and fear?
You had to get greedy.
This is where we part.
I always told him every time he was mean to me he replaced a peice of my love for him with hatred and resentment. Now that is all that is left…hatred and resentment for him. I have pity for him and those that his toxic presence infects but revell in delight that he is truely a victim of his self destructive toxicity. I pray that one day I can overcome my feeling hatred for him and replace it with silent forgiveness.
I like No 3. My type. Unfortunately.
Pity the tHiNg couldnt have been so honest!
Wow Wow WOW ! And I nearly lost it all….. I remember telling him that he was murdering my soul. I had no idea who he really was then. As damaged as I still am, it feels so amazing to be coming back to who I really am again. It’s glorious to breathe fresh air, rather than the suffocating stench of my life as when I lived with my head all the way up inside his stupid ass! I am so grateful for these gems you write.
Narcissist are drawn to me. my positive fuel attracts them but my negative fuel repels them..I don’t chase, run, stalk, cry, scream, curse or give money, therefore my fuel runs low really quickly and they select one of their exes or one of my friends…
I’m the victim your the robber. You steal my heart, family, friends, traits, sex, emotions and leave me for dead. Breathe back life into me for the resurrection and then kill me again and bring a new friend to my funeral.
Why can’t we do what Prince said…..
Let’s drown each other in each other’s emotions, let kiss with one synonymous motion, nothing’s forbidden, nothing’s taboo, when the two are in love. 💜
After that, all that comes to mind is you want to be saved, from yourself.
is there any one person you can always count on, without design? someone who’s always there for you? does anyone come close, like a family member or close childhood friend? are there ever any exceptions, or is every single person considered fuel? do you care about anyone? is there anyone special to you and your kind?
Me. They are all fuel.
Who do you shares your successes with?
Lots of different people.
I suppose it is good not to be too modest. Do you tell most to show your superiority or compete with them?
I demonstrate my success and thus my superiority.
Do you or don’t you
As per the article.
HG: What do you mean with: “As per the article”?
I mean as per what I have written in the article.
HG..I will quote one of your paragraphs:
“Like a purifying river, I want your essence to course through me, sweeping away the disease that riddles me. I want your essence to wipe away the dirt, remove the smears and eradicate the stains. ”
So…HG: do you want this NEED for your ” disease” to be swept away to stop? Or do you want to stop the way you do it?
Very poetic post…
Or perhaps I state that knowing it appeals to the empathic desire to save and to purify.
…but well..that depends on where is the “empath” situated on the empathic..spectrum…It is perhaps my strong narcissistic traits ( superempath).. But I DID NOT WANT TO SAVE HIM… of a pure selfish reasons..I just wanted to enjoy his ” light ” side…which I liked very much: a deep inner side.. Yes..perhaps..A mirror of something or geniune …that I do not know…What do you think about the latter?
HG…I got caught on the following:
“You never realise that this is the cost of this transaction but I want to suck the essence from within you, drain you of it and consume it for myself. ”
It is curious that you wrote that. That was exactly what I used to say to my ex Greater narc! The cost of being with him was too high BUT that I just wanted to continue enjoying his ” light” side which I liked very much but paying a lower cost…
I did not want to SAVE him: From my own experience with him ,I really do not think that he/ you need to be “saved.”
I did not want him to change: I realised that was not possible.
BUT I wanted him to reduce this cost..by adapting some of his behaviours.
Now that I have been some months in this blog…I have realised that he actually tried to adapt some of his behaviours ….but at the end the cost was still high for me.. He used to tell me that I had “zero tolerance”…and he was right.
Is there ALWAYS a cost for being entangled with you? Can you in some way REDUCE that cost?
And…the last question: Do you WANT to do it???
Watch this space.