The Narcissist Online – The Somatic



How do you spot a Somatic Narcissist online?

I have explained before how the advancements in technology have created a haven for our kind. The internet has become a prime hunting ground for all schools and all cadres of narcissist. From social media to dating websites to chatrooms, the existence of cyberspace has created so many opportunities for us to target and hunt down our victims. Not only that, technology has extended our reach, allowed us to target multiple victims, remain in contact with scores of prospects and do so at any time from nearly any part of the world. It is little wonder that our kind cruise, shark-like, through cyberspace, seeking our victims.

There is much to be said for you staying away from the internet. Not only are you closing down various avenues for the narcissist you have just banished through no contact, to prevent hoovers, you are also reducing the risk of being ensnared by another one. However, the internet and all of its accoutrements are regular fixtures in most people’s lives and therefore such blanket avoidance is not only impractical it may not be desired. Why should you let our kind force you into no longer enjoying the benefits of the information superhighway?

Accordingly, you wish to maintain a presence in cyber space and so you must adopt a position of vigilance. I have detailed previously the ways in which we look for our victims through the various portals of the internet, the types of behaviour, the profiles, the postings and the engagements which not only show you are susceptible to being seduced but highlight your empathic traits so you have a neon light above you, drawing us to you. How about you being in a position to spot our kind when we are on the internet? This is clearly a worthwhile skill to hone as part of your Narcdar, in identifying us.

One of the most prominent places that this identification takes place is with regards to dating websites and it is there that I shall show you what you ought to be looking out for in two distinct stages. The first is the type of indicators that you might see on the profile page of our kind on a dating website. The second are the tells that occur when you first engage with our kind on such a website when you begin the excitement of flagging your interest and exchanging message. I will therefore detail the indicators in these two stages which you ought to be aware of so that you can determine whether the person is one of our kind and therefore you can dodge the bullet, escape the tendril and evade the narcissist.

Keep in mind that these are indicators, two or three is nothing to be concerned about. Yes, this shows that there are narcissistic traits in evidence but once it goes beyond three of these indicators you need to become wary. The more indicators there are, the more likely it is that this person in cyberspace is a narcissist and you are skirting on the edge of being seduced.

Let us begin with the Somatic Narcissist. The Somatic Narcissist is one of the four cadres and is generally defined as a narcissist who has a pre-occupation with appearance, looks, material possessions, sex, status and the earnings of himself and those around him. What should you be aware of when you are working your way through those dating profiles and what should you pay heed to should you commence in messaging somebody on these sites to determine whether this person is more likely than not a Somatic Narcissist ?

  1. In respect of a female somatic narcissist the profile picture will show the individual bare-chested to show off his physique. In the case of a female narcissist the picture will be glamorous with the narcissist made-up, pouting and quite possibly utilising a professionally taken picture. In both sexes the photo may also show the individual next to an expensive or flash-looking car, undertaking some kind of adrenaline pursuit, such as flying through the air on a mountain bike or a grinning shot as the individual parachutes from a plane or the picture will be of the individual against the backdrop of a chasm or a luxurious beach.
  2. If the profile contains more than nine additional pictures as well as the profile picture, this is an indicator of a somatic narcissist. Pay attention to the individual striking the same pose in each picture such as the man flexing his muscles to show off his ‘guns’, adopting a Usain Bolt stance, pouting or standing with one hand on hip. These are all indicators.
  3. If the pictures only have the profile holder in them, this is a further indicator.
  4. There will be no mention of having been single for some time, looking for love for a period of time or anything to denote that the individual has been alone.
  5. The individual will make mention of his or her employment, job position and/or earning capacity in the profile text. If the site provides a bracket for the individual’s earning to be entered, they will be and they will be listed in six figures whether this is true or not.
  6. The individual will not make mention of wanting to engage in pursuits such as staying in and getting cosy by the fire, going for romantic walks, watching films together. These are regarded as vanilla and boring by the somatic narcissist. An absence of mentioning these things is an indicator. If phrases such as those above are included, this is a downward indicator.
  7. The somatic narcissist will make reference to various interests which will include outdoor pursuits, adrenaline fix pursuits, attendance at a gym, sports and anything which denotes the pursuit of competitive physical excellence. If there are references to winning events such as an Iron Man Triathlon, running the New York marathon or similar this is a double indicator.
  8. There will be repeated reference to travel. Specifically, look out for reference to exotic beach holidays and holidays which involve pursuits such as ski-ing, trekking, kayaking around islands and such like. There is unlikely to be mention of places where one might undertake sight-seeing of landmarks and such like. The somatic narcissist is there to be the sight seen, not to sight see.
  9. If there are references to where the individual lives in terms of an upmarket area as opposed to the region or city, references to the size and style of accommodation or reference to additional places where the individual lives, these are indicators.
  10. If the profile states that the individual dislikes lazy people, people who do nothing, out of shape people etc. this is a firm indicator. The somatic narcissist has no concern about letting people know what he does not like and his lack of tact will mean that it will be rude and disparaging.
  11. If the profile makes reference to sexual prowess of proficiency this is a firm indicator also. Again, the somatic narcissist is unlikely to apply tact to the situation and is content to brag about such matters.
  12. References to shopping, shoe collections, extensive technology collections, record collections trainer collections and similar are also indicators.
  13. The profile of a somatic narcissist is likely to make reference to nights out at glamorous places, going to bars, wanting to be seen, mixing with people and such like.
  14. If the individual references somebody famous in their profile either purporting to know them or quoting from that individual – who is likely to be a sports person – this is an additional indicator.
  15. Re-read the profile. If you read it back and immediately hear the voice of someone talking quickly as if pumped up on adrenaline and Red Bull, with exhortations of ‘yeah’, ‘hell’ and ‘woo’ whilst a fist pump or a high five is being delivered, this is a considerable warning sign.
  16. The profile of the somatic narcissist will be 90 per cent about him or her with a smaller section reserved for what he or she does not want and also what he or she is looking for. The looking for section will be up front about wanting someone who is physically attractive and engages in similar activities. This is actually paying lip service to considering the other person. The somatic narcissist IS the draw and really is not overly interested in what the other person does. Not at this stage.

The more indicators you identify from this profile and its accompanying pictures, the higher the likelihood that this individual is a somatic narcissist.

If you engage with somebody on a dating website and exchange messages, then you should be aware of the following indicators which all evidence that you are engaging with a somatic narcissist.

  1. They will respond quickly to your messages. They will also badger you if you have not answered their message promptly. If there has been a flurry of messaging, then you have slowed in your response times and you have been badgered to respond, when you do respond there is silence, the somatic narcissist has moved on to a different target and you have been forgotten about. Understand that all narcissists using such sights will have multiple prospects in order to maximise both fuel and the opportunities of ensnaring suitable prey and anyone who fails to keep up with the pace will be left behind.
  2. Expect messages to be short and to the point. The lesser somatic will use text speak a lot. The mid-range and greater less so, but their messages will not be long or flowery.
  3. You will be asked for your mobile number and offered his or hers within five exchanges.
  4. You will be asked direct questions about your profile pictures. Is it you? Is it a recent picture? Where was it taken?
  5. You will be sent bare chest and dick pictures by the male somatic, topless and bottom pictures by the female somatic, whilst you will be repeatedly pressed to reciprocate.
  6. The content of the messages will become sexual between five and ten exchanges. If mobile numbers have been exchanged expect to engage in sexting and talking dirty down the phone to one another. This will be wanted or engaged in before any suggestion of a date has taken place.
  7. The somatic narcissist will appear to be interested in you experiencing his or pursuits ‘I would love to take you rock climbing, you will really enjoy it’ or ‘We could go camping and do some hunting, it will be a blast.’ There will be an assumption that you will enjoy it. The somatic narcissist may appear encouraging by offering to instruct you, teach you etc. so this appears that they are kind and taking an interest. This is being done purely to show that they are an expert and to test your credentials to be their victim by ascertaining whether you have the right class traits.
  8. You can expect to be asked your opinion about various matters which are of value to the somatic narcissist. What you do for a living, how much you earn, where you live, where you holiday, what type of car you drive, what you think of certain places, what you think of certain famous people. This may appear like taking an interest in your preferences. It is being done to garner information to ensure that you accord with the somatic class traits and to mine for intelligence which can then be used to mirror and seduce once the somatic narcissist is satisfied that you are a decent prospect worth expending further time and energy on. Do not expect to be asked about books, art, religion, politics, economics, current affairs or similar matters. If you engage in a conversation using those topics you will witness the topic being shut down and moved to something else in order to return to relevant somatic topics.
  9. The somatic will appear very keen and enthusiastic but it will border on pushy in terms of wanting replies, wanting pictures and wanting to meet up. You are likely to put it down to being very interested in you and the somatic narcissist will only confirm that to be the case if challenged. He or she is keen to draw fuel from your messages but even keener to move to meeting you and this will be pushed for quickly, in around ten or so exchanges and within just a day of making contact.

A significant aggregate of these indicators both from the profile and the subsequent engagement will tell you readily enough that you have been interacting with a somatic narcissist and therefore you should heed all these red flags before meeting the individual concerned, since doing so means you will become at a far greater risk of being successfully seduced in person.

40 thoughts on “The Narcissist Online – The Somatic

  1. mymasterstoy says:

    I don’t know about a dish. But my first Somatic Narc could lift a wet towel in his! Would do it like lifting weights!

  2. Sarah says:

    I’ve just found a pube on my elbow.

    1. Love says:

      Sarah, your comments are the best! Was it a native or invasive? 😀

      1. Sarah says:

        Oh, it was one of mine. I take masturbation to Another Level.

        No I don’t, wanna be alone, no more.

        1. Love says:

          Oh my, how flexible you are! With those type of skills, I doubt you will be alone for long 😉

    2. K says:

      Sarah, I wish there was a hilarious button because you and Clarece are a riot! “I take masturbation to Another Level.” Ha ha ha ha…

  3. Sarah says:

    No masturbation then? I don’t get it.

  4. MLA - Clarece says:

    A single girlfriend posted this meme on Instagram right before I switched over to read this article and it seems so appropriate. Ladiezzzz I shall share…
    “If a guy sends you an unsolicited dick pic, send back a picture of a better looking dick. A more photogenic dick. A dick with a future.”

    I’m sorry. I know it’s on the crass side but it’s never not funny every time I read it.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      MLA Clarece

      Or just two words:

      How unfortunate

    2. Love says:

      Lol! A dk with a future 😂
      That’s a gigolo.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Haha Love! Or rather a Dk with a future is one that is granted clearance for entry.

        1. Indy says:

          MLA Giggles!!
          I love that you said this!! It made it all the more hilarious. *dives in gutter
          Ehem, a dk with “education and experience” and can lift a dish.

        2. Love says:

          Lolol! A lucky dk indeed 😂

    3. K says:

      MLA – Clarece
      That wasn’t crass; that was hilarious! Ha ha ha ha ha….Thank you so much for that! I am still laughing…

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        I know right? I’m still giggling this morning on that one!

    4. Twilight says:

      Clarece that’s hilarious 😂

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Thanks Twilight, Indy, K, NA and Love!! By the response I’m getting on the “Dk” meme it’s apparent we were all sent visuals at one time or another that burned (and scarred) in our memories.

    5. mymasterstoy says:

      I worked at a truck stop for a year and did that!! It’s the first thing they send if u give it phone number! I had a collection. I’d say “your proud of that thing? Let me show you one to be proud of!” And I’d send the. Invest dick pic I had gotten! They called me a ball buster! Wore that title proudly!

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Wow! Pays to be prepared for every situation!

  5. jenna says:

    When i found his profile on 2 casual sex no strings attached dating sites, i felt disgusted. This was after we broke up, but i wondered to myself ‘who is this man i have been loving?’ Moreover, the pics were shirtless and he was pulling his sweatpants down until almost xxx (but not all the way). His well toned chest and abs were visible for the entire world to see. I thought it was for my eyes only because that’s what he made me believe. We used to say ‘frm now on, i am yours and you are mine.’ I despise casual sex and one night stands. I think sex should only be shared btwn two pple who are in love, and he strongly made me believe he was in love with me.
    When i finally escaped him, he hoovered me, i gave in after 2 mos, i revealed to him about knowing that he’s on one of the sites. (The other site i didnt reveal knowing about so i could track his activity there). He said he was lost and he didn’t know what he was doing. I’m thinking, was that the ‘creature’ i was seeing in the online shirtless pic? He couldn’t handle intimacy with me which came with all the ‘i love you’s’, constant eye contact trying to look deeper into his soul, and me crying after the act due to intense feelings of love for him. So he decided to have no strings attached sex, where he would feel in control. I didn’t know who he really was and i think i will never know.

  6. Shaking my head says:

    Somatics are the most obvious narcissists ever. Anyone preoccupied with their looks, prestige, wealth, social status…points in one direction only and thatd be …shallow. Narcissists are very shallow but a somatic embodies the defjnition of shallow. They have a neon sign above them that says “narcissist”.

    1. gabbanzobean says:

      I agree! Cerebrals are trickier. I was with a cerebral. His intelligence was very attractive. The fucker sounded like a dictionary when he talked. I feel disgusted with myself that this was one of the biggest turn ons I had to him.

      1. Indy says:

        Hi GBean!
        Oh, I am a sucker for a Cerebral! I was with an upper midrange cerebral with a few somatic traits (loved the brand names and was cute too, though not the full Somatic treatment), though it was that intelligence…. Yummy. That was my hook. Oh but those Midrange silent treatment and mind-fuck games(he gaslit me a ton), not so fun. Oy!! Glad to be out of that mess. Glad you are out too 🙂

        1. gabbanzobean says:

          I am glad you can relate. The struggle is SO real.

      2. K says:

        I, too, am a sapiosexual. There is no shame in it. We were both duped.

        1. gabbanzobean says:

          I miss him. And feel so pathetic. 🙁

      3. abrokenwing says:

        Hi gabbanzobean,

        Mine was Elite but I was also more attracted to his mind and sense of humour than to his physical appearance. The brain is the largest sex organ. I have seen this quote somewhere-‘ If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t f*ck them!’ 😉

      4. K says:

        Sometimes I miss my no-good-lying-manipulating-cheating-gaslighting-blameshifting-projecting-cruel-narcissistic ex too…it isn’t pathetic, we just need more time.

      5. Narc affair says:

        Dont be disgusted cerebrals can be very attractive bc theyre interesting. Knowledge is sexy. What isnt so sexy is an asexual cereb. That is a turn off imo. Ive known many cerebrals and find them alluring bc they can hold a conversation and are fun to talk to. Intelligence holds a power and power is an attractive quality when not combined with narcissism.

    2. mymasterstoy says:

      My somatic wasn’t overly concerned about his looks. He is good looking though. He’s always broke but is profile made it seem like he’s an entrepreneur. He doesn’t drive a nice car or live in a nice house. But he’s definitely Somatic. I’m thinking a mixture of maybe victim also. Still trying to figure out exactly where he fits.

      1. mymasterstoy says:

        He has a Facebook page about bible prophecy and has 1000’s of followers. Preachers son. Also huge into politics. Big Trump fan…go figure lol

  7. gabbanzobean says:

    Well explained!!! I look forward to your writings about the cerebral narcissist. Aka: the type I was caught up with

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you GB.

      1. strongerwendy says:

        You have said that Cerebral narcissists avoid sex. I didn’t find that to be the case with my ex-narc husband. Is that possible? He doesn’t fit into any other cadre.

  8. Ali says:

    oh for certain, when playing online one must never forget that there are plenty of predators hidden among the population. It is a case of user beware…it is good to keep in mind who they are as well as what they can accomplish.

  9. emotion detective says:

    Lol, somatic topics..
    the more I read the more I think I’ve made an error classifying the lesser, unless a victim can be somatic as well, I think he’s a victim..
    we found each other at okcupid, and he was the one who sent me a short ‘hello’ and then asked if I also lived in the same part of the city and I said yes I did, it turned out we lived at the time two blocks away, within five minutes walk.. so he said ‘can we meet now??’
    it felt weird but I agreed to meet the next day in a local coffee house
    he told me later how he messaged each good looking profile skipping the uglies with the same line about origami..

    1. K says:

      Hello ED, it has been so busy since the Tele-Summit. I am catching up with all the likes. Skipping the uglies…sounds like a winner! Lol.

  10. sarabella says:

    He hits pretty much all of them in what he posts, how he engaged with me and the like. I think there was only maybe one bullet point in both lists that did not apply. And he does nothing but engage with women with like profiles. And if they seem sweet girls and have all that, too, all the more he seems to like them. Is that an oxymoron? A sweet somatic narc?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A sweet somatic narc can exist because it is the façade, the illusion.

  11. Cc says:

    Could this one be broken down into segments? It’s almost tmi.

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