Shoot You Down

SHOOT YOU

A plaintive wail which I often hear is along the lines of,

“Why do you always have to shoot me down? I give you everything you could ever want. Why can’t you just be happy with that?”

As usual you delude yourself with such a statement. You do not give me everything I could ever want. You think that you do, but that is the self-centredness that you often exhibit creeping in once again. You certainly care, I will grant you that, but you make the mistake of assuming what you do is what we want. What we want is fuel. I know what comes next.

“I always told you how much I loved you, I admired and complimented you often and frequently. How much more could I make you feel good about yourself?”

Therein lies the problem. No matter how good your intentions and how frequent your worship of me, my kind and me will always grow tired of it. We have heard your kind words and seen your appreciative gestures too many times and it, well, it just does not do it for us anymore. I am sure that you emotionally in touch people would be the first to complain if a long established partner engages in the same routine in the bedroom. It does not hit the spot anymore does it? Well, it is just the same for us. You may ultimately accept that things cool somewhat in the bedroom and I know from what I have seen and heard that you trade this passion off (although not always, there are some sexual thrill seekers amongst your kind) for other qualities that you find attractive – humour, companionship, security, warmth, good parental skills, intelligence and such like. There is no hope for any such trade with us. We only want one thing from our relationship. Fuel. We do not care (ultimately) how good-looking you are, how much of a whore you are between the sheets, how wonderful a mother you may be, what a raconteur you are or how much you earn. We will never accept those things or anything else as a substitute for fuel. True enough, the more aged of our kind sometimes accept these things when their need for fuel diminishes but that need never goes away. They may decide to accept these attributes alongside largely positive fuel, but they will still need to stir things up from time to time.

That is not going to happen with me. I am at the peak of my powers and therefore my need for fuel remains substantial. There can be no substitute for it at all and nor can there be any co-existence between the provision of fuel and other attributes. It is fuel or nothing. In order to achieve this I have to shoot you down because once that is done you start to flow with the potent negative fuel and my cravings start to be addressed. You can beg and plead with me, you can point out how you will always only ever have eyes for me, you can express your love, desire, adoration and admiration on an hourly basis but there comes a point when it just does not have that sweetness anymore. It is then that I pull the handgun from my jacket, attach the silencer and fire several vitriolic bullets into you. Your pain from these wounding bullets gives me the fuel that I need and therefore your shooting is necessary. Moreover, it is your punishment for letting me down. You really ought to be capable of pleasing me the whole time but so far, all that I have chosen have failed. That is why I now expect you to fail and have that gun to hand at all times.

When I shoot you down, I become more powerful as the fuel flows from you. Moreover, it is easy to get someone to admire and adore. Those reactions come naturally to your kind. It is far harder to extract tears, anger, frustration and regret from the empath. Managing to do so imbues your emotional reaction with greater potency, your fuel becomes supercharged and this is what we want. We cannot shoot you down from the beginning, we need you stood on a pedestal first, after all, you present as such an inviting target then and your toppling as the bullets slam into you becomes all the more satisfying.

I sense your dismay as you read this. You had hoped that by keeping me sweet and onside through a dazzling and tireless display of love, affection and admiration you had hoped to avoid such an attack. Your concerns should not be absolute. There is an upside you know. Firstly, when we find someone else after we have shot you down, keep in mind they will eventually be riddled with bullet holes no matter how happy we both appear at first. It is coming to them as it came to you. I am sure that makes you feel a little better doesn’t it? Secondly, there is a huge saving grace.

We never shoot you dead.

We need you alive so we can raise you up again as we re-load.

Advertisements

11 thoughts on “Shoot You Down”

  1. Okay, this always makes me feel better to read. Because I do know I offered it all. Looks, sex, kindness, adoration, constant attention (I am a nurse for goodness sakes).
    That being said…I just had to share with people who will “get it”. My ex narc got a raise so I figured he’s “upgrade” his life in some way as he isn’t one to be super conservative with his money, although he likes to pretend he is a minimalist school teacher.
    I drove by his home which I haven’t done in months because I had a feeling he’d buy another vehicle. What was parked in the driveway? The EXACT vehicle that I had mentioned on our first date and several times throughout our relationship as my “dream” vehicle. No joke. He never mentioned liking this particular vehicle.
    He didn’t upgrade to something more spacious for his kids, although he likes to paint the picture of a perfect father.
    He discarded me 6 months ago for someone at work. Is this his subconscious at work, or what?

    1. It may be the case that he is already in devaluation with the new IPPS and you are about to be hoovered and he will use the vehicle as a means of doing so.

      1. I hope it and doubt it. I wounded him pretty bad and he told me last month when I tried to collect the $ he owed me to not contact him again and that my emails were forwarded to his trash. I also wonder if midrangers are so thick that they think all women like the same thing and he got it thinking if it would impress me, it would impress women in general.
        Funny enough, the day after I found out what he drove now, he drove past me when I was on my run and crooked his neck so hard to see me I thought he might wreck. He probably thinks he can Hoover and stalk his ex’s now without being noticed. I hadn’t seen him in 2 months, but that’s probably because I didn’t know what he was driving.
        Thanks for the heads up in case, HG. My friend also said narcs buy new toys when they’re bored of their IPPS’s too. Interesting. If he actually contacts me besides trying to drive past me, I’ll let ya know. 😉

  2. I’ve really noticed how in the very early stages of a golden period (through my recent study) that their making you feel safe starts already to your own ability to make yourself feel safe.

    Just the subtleties of the things they say and do means you start seeking protection from them unconsciously and start to rely and depend on ther protection which then slowly erodes your own ability to do this. Even ‘knowing’ what is going on i can feel it happening. But with complete clarity. This is without any devaluation at all.

    They make you feel safe so you don’t have to.

    I’ll write to you more with details of my findings at some stage. But it is really interesting.

  3. ” True enough, the more aged of our kind sometimes accept these things when their need for fuel diminishes but that need never goes away.”
    Hg, do the aged narcs have less fuel requirements? Does that mean if we don’t give up, eventually the situation will improve because the narc’s requirement for fuel will decrease? Ty.

  4. Very good article. It really makes it clear that your kind cannot be satisfied. It’s like a life long treasure hunt. You find a diamond and its brightness only dazzles you for so long.

  5. He wore black and I wore white
    He would always win the fight

    Bang bang, he shot me down
    Bang bang, I hit the ground
    Bang bang, that awful sound
    Bang band, my baby shot me down

    The lyrics are completely appropriate for a narcissist/ empath relationship.

  6. Thank you, H G! This describes his treatment in such exact detail and answers all the questions so well that I want to dance and sing!! He is gone from my life for good and any second guessing I had as to wanting him to come “play with me” has flown out the window. I am putting this on my mirror so I can read it every morning when I get up and every evening before I go to bed.

  7. Figuratively speaking………I shoot to kill…….you wouldn’t get another opportunity to reload!!!!!!!…….Diva

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.