10 Rejections of Intimacy


We embrace the trappings of intimacy because we know this is what you expect when our relationship commences. You want to touch us; you want to be touched. You want to gaze into one another’s eyes and revel in what you see there. The tenderness of the kiss, the tingling sensation that arises from the briefest of brushing touches and the safety and security of a hand being held. We endure all of this in order to maintain the illusion of our perfect love and to provide you with that which you have been conditioned to expect as denoting love, affection and passion. Such intimacy repeatedly hints at a place we would rather not go but the necessity of your seduction means that we focus on the task in hand and dispel those occasional thoughts of what that intimacy means and signifies. Those considerations are banished as we press on with our crusade and complete our quest. Once our tendrils are wrapped around you, our fangs sunk deep into your emotional jugular and the fuel flows, then the provision of such intimacy can finally and thankfully be turned to a better application, namely conveying rejection to you and in turn bring about despondency, humiliation and confusion. Whilst we prefer words to do our work, these rejections work marvellously well because of the effect that they have on you and the economy of effort that comes with them. Provision takes effort. Denial comes easily. Here are ten rejections of intimacy.

  1. No eye contact

I don’t want to mirror you any longer but I don’t want you seeing the lurking darkness in my eyes, not just yet. Instead I will settle for evading looking at you, creating the sensation that I cannot bear to look upon you, which is rather accurate because now you are reminding me too much of what I despise and I would rather look elsewhere.

  1. Kissing the top of your head

We know you want to be kissed on the mouth but that isn’t going to happen. Not today and not for a while until I decide I can stomach doing so in order to get something from you that I want. I will kiss you on the head, tilting your head down, making you lower yourself in front of me as I place the patronising light kiss on the top of your head. You are a child to me, someone who knows no better and has to be guided by me. You are bowing, showing fealty through this gesture for I am your ruler and your liege.

  1. Shuddering if you touch us

You cannot place boundaries for me. I go where I want. You however have no entitlement to me. You require my permission and especially so when it means violating my space. If you catch me unawares and touch me, no matter how lightly, I will give a violent shudder as if have been touched by something unpleasant so you are left in no doubt as to what I think about you.

  1. Turning our back on you in bed

This is done as soon as we climb into bed on the occasion we have deigned to provide you with our presence or not banished you from the bedroom with a well-time bout of aggression. You have your hopes raised of sexual union or at least the heart-warming pleasantry of cuddling up together. Instead you receive a glacial wall that is our back and if you think this is an invitation to “spoon” with us you will be sharply elbowed or back heeled away from us.

  1. Avoiding taking your hand

Once upon a time we always took your hand as we walked along the road, through a museum or around the shops, making you feel loved and showing the world that we were together. There was a time when we wanted everyone to know that you were ours. No longer. We will ignore the proffered hand, driving our own into our pockets or shaking off your hand if you happen to grab ours. You don’t decide to show others we are together; don’t you realise that one of my new prospects might see?

  1. Awkward Evasion

You try to place an arm around us and we suddenly jump up as if we have sat on a tack. You attempt to hug us and we move around you like a rugby player evading a tackle, often contorting ourselves into a move which would be more often seen in a gymnastics contortion. Our desire to wriggle away, duck under, escape and move apart suggests that your very touch might burn us. The exaggerated movement can leave you in no doubt that this was deliberate.

  1. One-sided hug

You have taken us by surprise and launched a hug at us, be it from the front, sides or rear. You will not have it reciprocated. There will be no return gesture, no warming and intimate response. We will stand like a block of ice, arms down by our sides, back stiff and stare straight ahead willing this uncomfortable moment to end.

  1. No longer naked

We once paraded around naked in front of you, letting it all hang out, without a care in the world. Truth be told we wanted you to look on our naked form and admire and it was also done to signal to your that we were entirely comfortable around one another in the buff. Now we behave like a coy virgin. We wear pyjamas in bed rather than sleep naked, we lock the bathroom door when we are in there so you cannot walk in on us and we always wrap a towel around us in order to cover-up our intimate areas so you cannot see us. If you happen to walk in unexpectedly when we are naked we will grab the nearest shirt, sombrero or fruit bowl to cover our modesty or dive behind a door, under a bed or out of the window. You don’t get to look any more.

  1. Proffering a cheek

You wait to kiss us and want to plant a tender kiss on our mouth. Others are looking and we must have consideration for the façade. An awkward evasion move now would be unwise and might invite unwanted speculation and comment. Instead we turn our head so you are left with no option but to plant that kiss on our cheek. We will not hold the cheek there either but pull away as soon as you embrace it. You are being given advance warning of your demotion from intimate partner to outer circle friend with this rejection tactic.

  1. Moving if you lean against us

You want to cuddle up next to us on the expansive sofa. If you do, we will get up and move to an armchair as soon as you begin to lean onto us. If you try and the sit in my lap, I will tip you up and deposit you on the floor as I leave the room and give you a silent treatment for pushing the matter too far. If I am lying down watching television and you try and climb on me, you may as well be trying to wrestle a crocodile as I will resist your advance and push you away before moving into a position which is easier to fend you off and send you a clear signal to sit elsewhere.

79 thoughts on “10 Rejections of Intimacy

  1. Frankie_Sezz says:

    And just wow

    This is stunning in its accuracy


  2. Kathy says:

    Last time I saw him in person: Kissed me on my forehead to say bye and faked a headache so he wouldn’t “have to” kiss me hi. It just happened that I noticed he purposefully did both because it was so uncharacteristic of him. So, I sensed and I knew then he had someone else. He also had this sadistic smirk on.

    I didn’t know he was a narc 3 weeks ago. I just thought: dude, you are pathetic. I don’t think I want to date someone so theatrical like you are. You don’t even care about the ridicule of your gestures.

    It completely turned me off. Right there. I decided that I didn’t want to see again. Just plain simple.

    Guess what happened? I found HG Tudor on YouTube. Guess what happened next? I learned what my ex is. And now that I know that HE is nuts, no more. I refuse to go through that crap.

    And it is so bizarre how everything has unfolded because for sometime already I have been having this weird feeling that he relies on my responses to him to see how much into I am. And anything related to me being upset, brings a smile on his face and a sense of relaxation. It is visible.
    Due to all that has happened, I have grown tired and bored and I have not been responding to him as I used to, like he was my God. Now it is like… yeah you are my god… yeah yeah… let’s go eat. No wonder he booted my butt and ran to find another appliance. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  3. Lin says:

    Bit late on this one but Im a nubie. My Narc loves to show his affection when he has an audience.

    1. SuperXena says:

      Hello Lin,
      It is part of the façade maintenance.
      Usually the devaluations( abusive or not) happen behind doors or in public but just perceivable by you but not by others.
      How subtile they are on their devaluations depends on which school they belong to.
      I hope this helps.

    2. Chihuahuamum says:

      Hi lin…welcome to the blog. My hubbys done this. Hes hardly ever affectionate yet around family or other people he sometimes rubs my back or does something affectionate. I dont think hes a narc but it really makes my skin crawl bc its so fake.

  4. Melissa says:


  5. DUTG says:

    Good post. A peek into the daily life of an IPPS.

  6. Isabella says:

    One time my leg barely touched his leg when we were sitting together and he motioned with his finger no.

  7. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I mean talking about a kiss that knocks you out and makes you wanna go nuts…

    Yeah ….

    Can’t remember the last time I had one of those…

    1. RS says:

      You’re lucky because I can! It drives me insane sometimes. It makes me unblock/block his number all the time just thinking he might just try to contact me again. I know, I’m an idiot, but . . . that kiss!

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        The only kiss I can recall that almost like knocked me out lmao was that British soccer player dude from when I was 20…

        Still have that red dress that narc angel makes fun of me for lmao….

        Save the memory lmao

      2. Sharon Marinucci says:


    2. Indy says:

      Oh, I do!! There was this man, Roy, I went on a handful of dates with ages ago. Best kisser ever, hands down. Breathless other worldly feeling, almost like being high….

      It started when we met for wine at some artist shop. Little tables, music, wine, and him tracing my hand hypnotically, in circles…it was intense, just the touch. Then the look, as we talked about atom particles and particle behavior (LOL, for real!). At a pause, he looked at me for what seemed a little too long and leaned closer. it was first a light breath close to my mouth, then the tracing of the lips ever so lightly, the soft though not wet. Well, when we left, it got a lil more breathless heated….sigh. He was interesting.

      1. RS says:

        Now THAT is a moment to keep you warm at night! 😉 That sounds like something right out of a romance novel. I’m such a hopeless romantic!

        There was one other guy who actually kissed better than the narc. . . my brother set us up on a blind date and I was so nervous but he actually turned out to be quite handsome. (I was 22) We went to see a James Bond movie at a drive-in. I don’t think we saw but 5 minutes of it. I never had someone kiss me in so many different ways. Each kiss was a new exploration and deeper in depth. I still remember his name. What a great memory!

        1. Indy says:

          Yes, a hot steamy memory. He was a pro kisser and not bad in the sack but not romantic in the flowers way….(he was one of those chemical engineer types). but he was fun (introduced me to brownies) and officially the best kiss in my book.

        2. Indy says:

          I forgot to add RS, yesssss a great kisser knows how to do it for hours and each kiss is new. I liked your description of your date at the movies 😊. Sighhhhh

      2. narc affair says:

        Indy…he sounds exactly like my narc! Wow. I bet you look at chemical engineering in a whole new light lol and brownies for dessert 😄

        1. Indy says:

          He knew how to engineer those brownies….I have a few lost weekends with him. LOL Goodness, that was 12 years ago.

    3. Morning sun says:

      The last time I had one (several, actually) of those was in high school. I made out with a guy who was a couple of years older at a party and the kisses were phenomenal! He could really tease and please, that one. The other amazing kiss was with a girl whose lips were ever so soft and inviting. Oh, there was one with a friend, we were drunk and he was gay but in denial at the time – he had these gorgeous full lips that were so luscious to kiss…

      Sigh. It’s been a long time! The narc failed miserably in that respect. I have to ask – does anyone else experience almost physical disgust remembering the intimacies with the narc? I often physically shudder.

  8. Snow White says:

    Hey Indy!!!!
    Thanks for the tip. I will have to do that tonight.
    I still get nothing.

    I laughed about the haunted house. I was terrified growing up and never went into one and you know who wanted so badly to take me. That was right after getting me into a dunk tank and on a roller coaster. I also remember her lounging on me and putting her arm around me as we walked. At the haunted house she made a comment about me being a lesbian. That was the first reference. She told me to let the person who was checking us in believe that we were together. One of the red flags I just didn’t get. I always thought they didn’t mean anything.
    I don’t need to ever go in one of those again. lol

  9. Sandra says:

    There is another; maybe it’s a variation on #4…maybe not.

    Reliably has to leave shortly after coitus!

    God forbid I might want to bask or cuddle.

    It even became a red flag that something was indeed rotten in Denmark. He made a cheeky joke in a group of friends once: “What? You’re still there after she’s washed off her makeup?!”

  10. Most of these are protection mechanisms and come down to whether you trust the person your with.

  11. These are all signs of someone having been physically and mentally abused by their spouse too.

  12. windstorm2 says:

    Mine did all these from day one except for the no longer naked. I remember when we first got together as teenagers it bothered me so much that he refused to hold my hand in public. The shuddering when I’d touch him was rough too.

    I think his walking around naked is just part of his feeling of entitlement. He’s never been physically attractive but that doesn’t bother him. Only his own comfort. He did wear underwear when our children were growing up, but it irritated him. He doesn’t like the feel of clothes (or rules Lol!).

    1. Jenna says:

      Windstorm lol!!! Thank god he wore underwear in front of the kids!

      1. windstorm2 says:

        Ha, ha! Yes. He actually did make an effort not to warp them in many ways. I doubt if any of the kids would say he was a “good” father, but I think they’d all agree he wasn’t a harmful one.

  13. JBR says:

    My ex would do this pat thing. I could tell from day one that hugging (and most giving of affection other than sex) was completely unnatural for him. He would do this three pat thing that drove me absolutely nuts. It made me physically ill every time he did it, to the point that I told him to just not.

  14. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I used to call the one-sided hug the koala hug…

    It really didn’t bother me because I thought It was hilarious …. he actually would laugh at it to…

    Truth is … I was only trying to annoy him lmao…

    1. narc affair says:

      Ughhh it sounded more like rejection the koala hug 🙁

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Narc affair,

        It’s okay I rejected him whenever he tried to fuck me and he would often say “you never kiss me when we have sex..”

        Actually he would also say “you never kiss me anymore”….

        He always told me I made him feel rejected.

        “I can’t take always feeling sexually rejected” … “all this rejection”…

        Oh well. Wish I could tell you I feel bad about it but I don’t.

        Hmmm…Yes, I suppose I really did make him feel rejected…lol

        Feels good.

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Narc affair,

        I would like kill to feel a kiss. It’s been so long I can’t even remember…

        I feel like I’m just going through the motions – like a robot. I feel nothing when I kiss people.

      3. narc affair says:

        Hi Dr. H…It sounds like youve been numbed by your experiences and fed up. I think when you reach your limit it takes a lot to find that magical feeling again with someone. I know for myself the narc numbed that for me. I still love him but the exciting magical feeling has left the building. The sex i still enjoy but not like before bc i know he uses that as a tool so its not really genuinely reciprocated if that makes sense.
        I think youd said it has been a yr since being with your ex. Maybe it will just take more time and more work within. Once you meet a whole person not half of one youll more than likely feel that spark again but in a new way. I do understand tho that narcissists create the highest highs but they arent sustainable. Its much better to feel half a high and have something genuine and that will last.

      4. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        I can’t even find someone who wakes me up in any capacity.

        I will say it’s so much easier to cut people because I was never emotionally invested.

        Shit….I can’t find someone to wake up my sex drive….

  15. ;peace out says:

    Thank gawd this isn’t a previous century or i’d be so dead.

  16. ;peace out says:

    “they believe that they transcend them, but rather, they embody them psychologically.”

    This is basic sadism 101, the law-maker is not subjugated to the law, but, in a catch-22, is subjugated to the superego they must embody to become the law.

  17. Restored Heart says:

    I long for, but am terrified of intimacy. Always have been. Especially eye contact. It’s one of the things that kept him & I apart all those years ago. But touch, as a highly tactile person, I crave it, ache for it & miss it terribly. What I wouldn’t do for it now…

    1. Sharon Marinucci says:


  18. jenna says:

    Yes i’m bugging u. Ok i’ll stop now. 😀

    1. jenna says:

      Yahoo ur back!! 💃💃💃💃💃

      1. jenna says:

        I mean ur back moderating. Idk if ur back frm ur travels.

    2. narc affair says:

      Jenna…i was going to hip hooray too but you already did an awesome job 😂

      1. Jenna says:

        Haha! Pls join me! Come one come all!
        I am not possessive abt HG. He is polygamous and many pple here are somewhat attached to him. Sharing is caring lol!!

  19. jenna says:

    Hg, how’s the weather?

  20. jenna says:

    Hg, how does it feel to b back (if you’re back)?

  21. jenna says:

    Hg, how were ur travels?

  22. jenna says:

    Hg, are u back in the UK? Did u see kim? Did u give her respite or did u devalue her?

    1. jenna says:

      Hg if u wud b so kind to pls reply to the above question abt kim receiving deval or respite? We all wanna know!!

  23. jenna says:

    He did kiss my forehead once, but i thought it was sweet. 💁😣🙆
    Another time, in the car, he crossed his arms and looked out the window when i tried to sit closely (back seat). ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked him. He replied that he was stressed due to career reasons. I felt sad that he was so cold but i didn’t show it. Instead, I tried to make him feel better, consoled him etc. but he said ‘u don’t need to tell me.’ Then i told him some funny incidents to see if that might cheer him up. Still, he looked out the window instead of at me. Finally, i couldn’t take it anymore and i started crying. He says he hates it when i cry, so i turned my head so he doesn’t see it. This was the only time he did something like this in person. Otherwise, he is always affectionate when we meet. Via text tho, he becomes somewhat cold again.
    About a month later, he wanted to visit me. I txted ‘no, it’s ok becoz i will try to come close to u, u will look away, n i will feel sad.’ He replied ‘i won’t do that.’ (What? He actually acknowledged it?!) When he came over, he was so affectionate. We cuddled and kissed for hrs.

    1. Kathy Mor says:

      Mine would lick my tears and smile. Think about that one for s sadist.

      1. smarinucci1970 says:

        Kathy. Very Sadistic.These Are The Child Torturers Rapists And Killers. THAT GUY Will Do Anything Abusive ,ANIMALS ,Old People Anything.👶👦👧👴👵🐶🐱🐑,Nothing Is Safe From Them !!!

        1. Kathy Mor says:

          Yes. You don’t want to accept the fact that the guy is the real deal, that it is not only an act, that behind that there is more… but that’s why I instinctively stayed out of his aim. Every time he raged, I would sit quiet and give him the fuel he needed so he would stop raging. He is a bomb ticking when it comes to his fury and he can’t control it. He just exploded. Short lived but very destructive.

  24. Noname says:

    I remember when I read this article first time, I was thinking “Hmm… It is not about intimacy at all, it is about “grey zone””.

    Such behavior is an indicator of the Narcs’ Nature.

    When they behave like that, again, you won’t get the hot “yes” (stay with me). You won’t get the cold “no” (we are finished, gerroff). You’ll get the warm “maybe” (I’m with you, but I’m not with you). It isn’t a bright day. It isn’t a dark night. It is a misty morning or twilight. Their kingdom.

  25. Watermelon says:

    I’d love for you to write about projection more HG. I realised last week that he’s been throwing that at me for six years and I was so blind I believed him. I’d like to understand more about it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have made a note Watermelon.

    2. Sharon Marinucci says:

      Watermelon, I Have MadeA Note !

  26. Cc says:

    It is such a tedious chore to have to go through this every 20-30 days. I’m just going to pray for him instead of retaliating this time.

  27. robins359 says:

    I’m sure he did this to his wife, as he always slept in the spare room. (so he said) He told me once that she was “always yelling at the girls!” I told him “maybe if you jumped her bones once in awhile she wouldn’t yell as much. She’s probably just frustrated and horny!” He didn’t like it that I always took his wife’s side. 😉

    There was one time that he came over (under protest) and I think he wanted to have sex but he was trying to withhold it from me. He told me we could have sex but I couldn’t kiss him because he had a cold sore that he got from his wife. He knew how important kissing was to me. I would rather kiss than have sex most times. We did it for about 5 minutes and I crawled off him and said, “if you won’t kiss me, I don’t want to fuck you”. He went home and gave me a silent treatment for a few months. Asshole.

    1. Jenna says:

      Robin, that’s difficult. I’m sorry u went thru that.

      1. robins359 says:

        Life is a learning process, isn’t it? It’s what we are here for. When you know better, you do better.

  28. NarcedOutAnjl says:


  29. narc affair says:

    This blog really hurts to read as ive experienced some of this in my shelving phases. It really hurts and thats its intent. The more its done the more damage it causes to the relationship to the point the supply source loses interest and no longer feels sexual towards the narcissist or intimate bc they no longer feel its mutual. Its a passive aggressive way to punish and diminish a source. Thats why they build the sex up sky high and the golden period so you experience it and they can snatch it away when they want to control you.

  30. Bliss says:

    I know I shouldn’t have doubts that he’s one, but I still do sometimes when I remember how wonderful he was and wonder if I got him all wrong. Then I see this and remember… my confusion, the hurt. There’s no doubt. But I still wish this is all a nightmare and I can wake up and there he is, still the knight in shining armour that he was when it all began. Sob.

    1. Tappan Zee says:

      Bliss—I know I shouldn’t have doubts that he’s one, but I still do sometimes when I remember how wonderful he was and wonder if I got him all wrong. Then I see this and remember… my confusion, the hurt.

      ^ #METOO. i fall into that rabbit hole on occasion too. then i remember reading. it is the very dynamic you describe which makes it abuse. and narc. that they vacillate between cruel inhumanity and luscious wonderfulness. if they were “just bad” it would be “just abuse” and totally obvious, but the back and forth. confusion by design. manically effective manipulation. keeping us off kilter, our own enemy. self doubting. riddled with spineless guilt. it all adds up to our illusion and their hostage. ugg. xo

  31. Indy says:

    I hated these moves of the recent ex. He was the only one that did all these to me. No other ex pulled this. I actually confronted him on it verbally, several times. I don’t like being treated in this manner snd very sensitive to it( meaning I pick this vibe up very quickly when it starts). I tolerated this behavior for a very short time before I distanced myself and made my own moves toward leaving. Thank goodness I never moved in. I nearly always would get up and leave his place when he pulled these behaviors at his place. I was not gonna reward his bad behavior and grace him with my presence if he didn’t appreciate it. Nor waste my time. While in public, I noticed and played observer. I never beg and if I feel a man is getting too distant, and no conversation clears things up and it continues, I leave. Done. And that is when I left, when this stage hit, along with the gas lighting and games. At first I thought I could play back, but it was futile and he found other games until he hit my weak spots. These 10 were buttons for me…

  32. Diva says:

    I can’t say that I have experienced much of this behaviour……maybe because I escaped first? In any case I appreciate the insight. The only thing that resonates with me is the kiss to the forehead……although I really liked that…..until you just ruined it with your analysis in this article!!!!! Oh and you can keep that bathroom door locked too…..while you are in there you could cut your own toe nails!!!!!…….Diva

  33. Snow White says:

    This is a great list. I experienced most of these.
    I was shocked at each one when they happened and was completely confused at these behaviors.
    Still amazing that there is a list like this.
    I remember the first time my ex turned her mouth away from my kiss. She loved it. I always asked why and always got “because it’s fun”. I figured out that she liked to be controlling but didn’t understand that it wasn’t just a sexual turn on. It was just another part of controlling me. When I think back to every kiss, hug, holding hands, sex I realize she controlled every move. I enjoyed the dominant figure that she portrayed but not when it hurt my feelings. She only was sorry when she got to swoop back in and make up. She was always forgiven.
    Every day when I went to see her at work I would come in and hug her and many times I got the one sided hug. That usually set the tone for the next few hours. She knew I drove a ways to see her everyday and it bothered me that this is what she did.

    Anytime someone touches me now I have no idea what their intentions are. Simple gestures like touching my arm confuse me. I still am healing in the intimacy department and this is another example of why. No one would understand how these affect you unless they have experienced them.

    1. Indy says:

      Hi Snow,
      I have a similar response, not knowing intention. Confusion with touch sometimes. I startle sometimes because of something an ex long ago would do to me. My teen boyfriend (5 yrs together), he would make an open armed motion to me to invite me to hug him. I would come over and he would hold me tight and randomly jab me with pins/needles. Not all the time. I never knew if it was a warm hug or the pin jab. He laughed when I hesitated. He also loved scaring me to the extreme(hiding and popping out to make me scream). Now I know why, given my scream is loud and dramatic and full of fuel, I suppose. Along with all my fear responses. And force tickle me for the laugh….until I cried. All fuel! (He was a lesser that was my son’s father that stalked for 4 years and I escaped by moving far). To this day, hugs and being pinned can bring this response if I do not trust the person.

      The only comfort I have now is that I left him when my son was 3 months old to protect him. I remember the day. 2/11/89. I ran across country and he never got his bloody hands on my son! Thank god.

      1. windstorm2 says:

        That was rough, Indy! So glad you knew to escape!

        1. Indy says:

          Hi Windstorm,
          I was hoovered back once. I started dating him at 14 and left at 19. He was my first boyfriend and I enjoyed rebelling with him, as I was always seen as a good girl. My father wanted to kill him (my father scared him, despite my father being of smaller structure. The only people I know with a deeper voice than HG are Barry White and my father. James Earl Jones perhaps though HG has that level I think. ….I digress, my fathers voice was powerful and deep and had the power to terrify and terrify he did with that boyfriend. My father had guns on hand. And it was my father that got me to leave him. He said to me as I was leaving with my baby in my arms, “you are killing your mother. You are never going back.” This was the last time. My parents hid me. They protected me and my father screened all my calls. He was my caller ID 😂 My father went to the store with me incase we were followed. For 4 years! Until I moved out of Vermont. My father had a nickname for this lesser narc: “dumb dumb”. My father was a very quite and angry and intelligent man that spent more time on projects in his workshop than with people. He was not social. And, I could see him kill, if he ever needed to. (Military in his blood).

          So, I nod to my father in heaven in thanks for having the strength in being my father and knowing the wisdom of no contact, before it existed. It was really my father’s heart that was breaking when he said what he did in his gruff deep voice. He taught me to leave and make it good!

          1. windstorm2 says:

            You’re very fortunate to have a father like that. Did he live long enough to have a lasting impact on your son?

          2. Indy says:

            I was lucky. Yes. He died when my son was 12, back around 15 yrs ago. My son idealized him. My son, unlike my father, is more empathic, though perhaps super Empath because he takes no shit. My mother was deeply empathic (gentle and loving when not depressed) and she had more of an impact on him in later years. She lived with us until she passed from cancer, when my son was 18. My son loves “family” and is a beautiful father.

            My father was more schiziod genius in the rough type that hated people and isolated from them. He invented things and made lots of things. If he was an Empath, it was buried in the back yard. Without a marker!
            😂 Now I understand that wisdom 😂

          3. robins359 says:

            You have me crying here! What a beautiful story of fatherly love. I never had a father that was loving or kind or even cared that I even was alive. I sent him a picture of me once, in a letter, and he said “I wouldn’t recognize you on the street if I saw you”. He was a narcissist. I never knew him personally, and for that, I am glad. How fortunate you were. I would have given anything to have had that kind of love from a father. (my mother was wonderful though. . . I miss her every day. She died when I was 5 months pregnant.)

      2. Snow White says:

        Hey Indy!!!
        Just so you know, this was the post I first that I noticed that the subscription didn’t go through. The only way that I knew about you responding to me was by going into the original post and looking for my comment. I didn’t get any notifications of this.

        But I feel the exact same way as you do.
        I have the same screams!!! Lol
        If we would have only known that is was all for fuel. She loved tickling and chasing me. I thought is was dumb. She enjoyed it.
        All of that sounds too familiar.
        I never realized how responsive I am.
        Tears, screams, laughing, and talking. It’s hard to tone them down. Lol

        You have come a long way from that day and you did a wonderful job. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

        1. Indy says:

          Hi Snow!
          Goodness, you and I in a haunted house would be a riot!! 😂 I hate that some think forced tickling is ok…it’s not.

          Thank you for your kind words, I feel the same about you. You have come so far from all your hard work!

          So I think I fixed my WordPress. I looked at the bottom of my email and selected subscription options. It brought me to a page that showed I have a lot of pending actions. After I took care of those pending actions and cleared out that box, I started receiving messages again. Hopefully that helps for you.

          Hugs, warm vibes, and apples 🍎

    2. Melissa says:


  34. Sues423 says:

    A FRUIT BOWL!!!! Hahahahaha!!!!
    I’m dying!! 😂

  35. The imagined visual of you covering up with a Sombrero is amusing 🙂

  36. K says:

    This one is interesting. Because I was not loved at all as a child I am not used to affection. My ex MMRN was a great hugger and kisser and I really enjoyed his affection(and sex) during the GP, however, when he removed it during the Stranger period and the following 6 years, I adjusted quite well. I simply went into my childhood default mode. Withdrawal didn’t bother me a whole lot either.

  37. Laura says:

    I know this , all to well I know this –

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

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