50 Future Fakes

 

JAM TOM

The technique of future faking is a splendid device that we utilise by promising you jam tomorrow so we can have all the jam today (and oddly enough leaving you with no jam tomorrow). The ability to future fake is integral to us since it sits with our frequent and repeated lying so readily. Just like Enron did, we want the pay-out today based on the future profits and what if those future profits don’t manifest? Who the hell cares? We will just walk away and secure the pay out with someone else instead leaving you to rue all those promises of something down the line which never ever came to pass. We are persuasive, convincing and seem so genuine, such is our astonishing ability to act, that you readily believe that we will deliver on the promise, no matter how outlandish it may sound to you. We really, really mean it. Can’t you tell?

Such is our brilliance at convincing not only you as our intimate partner but also everyone else who gets caught up in our extensive fabrications. It never matters to us that we have no intention of delivering on that promise of something happening in the future because all we care about is the here and now. We are easily able to shirk accountability for our promises, avoiding liability and culpability is what we do best and if you think you can hold to us something that we have promised give it a go. All you will find is that you will be subjected to denial, deflection or another charm offensive whereby you have backed down on the strength of, yes you’ve guessed, more future faking.

Here are fifty examples of our future faking.

  1. I know we’ve not been together long but we really should get married.
  2. Of course I will go and see somebody for some help, I want to do the right thing for us.
  3. I will pay you back.
  4. I will never hurt you.
  5. I will never hurt you again.
  6. I will get tickets for that concert for us, no problem at all.
  7. I can’t wait to take you away somewhere exotic.
  8. I will bring it back for you next week.
  9. I promise I will call you tomorrow.
  10. I won’t tell a soul about this.
  11. We have such a bright future together.
  12. I can see us growing old together.
  13. I cannot wait until we start a family.
  14. Why don’t we go into business with one another, it makes perfect sense?
  15. Of course I will help you out when you start your new job.
  16. We should make plans to travel the world, just you and me.
  17. Let’s look at houses so we can move in and live together.
  18. I will always be on hand, whenever you need me.
  19. I cannot conceive of a day where we are not with one another.
  20. Come on, let’s go and look at engagement rings.
  21. I won’t let anything come between you and I.
  22. Imagine if you moved over here how brilliant that would be.
  23. Imagine if I moved to where you are, I think I should do that.
  24. If you can help me with this project, I will give you a great report for the pay review next year.
  25. That’s right, give the money to me now and you can look forward to a 25% return in a year’s time.
  26. No matter how ill you become, I will look after you.
  27. I swear we will move just as soon as we can afford it.
  28. We can’t move just yet, but we will when I have repaid this loan.
  29. I know the loan has been repaid but I want to secure this promotion and then we will move.
  30. The promotion has helped but I need to think about retirement at present and then we can move.
  31. I want a large family with you.
  32. Of course we will go there next time.
  33. Whatever you want, just say it next time we are here.
  34. We will definitely book there for dinner next time.
  35. My home is your home, it is just a question of when, not if, you move in.
  36. I want to be able to come home every night and find you there waiting for me.
  37. Just do it this once and I won’t ask you to do it again.
  38. I go to sleep safe in the knowledge that we have a future together.
  39. We should make plans for where we will get married.
  40. I want a huge wedding, all our friends and family need to be there, I want the world to know how happy I am.
  41. Why don’t we select a retirement home now, after all, we are going to be together then you know.
  42. If you do the groundwork for this project now, I will next time.
  43. Of course I will change, I am determined to do it.
  44. This is the last time, I promise, then I will stop.
  45. I will seek some help, now isn’t the right time, but I will do it.
  46. I will give you the world.
  47. I will give you the fairy tale you deserve.
  48. I know we will have a happy ever after.
  49. I don’t see me and you, I can only see us.
  50. Of course I will respect you in the morning.

21 thoughts on “50 Future Fakes

  1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    It’s astounding how clear things become when you are no longer emotionally involved with toxic personalities.

    A man will see you and be with you if that is really what he wants. If you find that you keep getting the “I’ll talk to you soon” or “one day we will” and nothing happens within a reasonable time period it’s best to cut and run.

    My ex went from saying he wanted to marry me early in the relationship to soon saying we weren’t ready whenever he felt like it. I then started saying I didn’t want to ever get married. When he said to me “i would marry you” – I just looked at him and said please don’t do me any favors. I would never wanna have to convince a man to be with me in any capacity. What a fucking total waste of time. I said to him when we started officially dating “you are the kinda guy that will never marry me” – I intuitively knew all along. Obviously I’m so happy I never married him or moved into a place with him.

    I make dates in my head and don’t tell the person and if they don’t meet my deadline – I vow to move on. I made a date in my head and didn’t tell my ex about it when he was dating that other girl and I was the woman on the side – he actually made my deadline by two days. I wish he hadn’t because I would have cut it.

    I wish I had hired that private investigators in the beginning of the relationship because this all would have ended quickly…..

    Better yet – I wish I never pursued him and then let him treat me like shit from start to finish. If is true though – you teach people how to treat you – I fuxking swear I will never ever put up with any of that shit ever again.

    I never let anyone future fake my ass or treat me like shit anymore or give me excuses because it’s plain and simple now – you deliver or you don’t – you will or you won’t..I don’t have time to deal with these self-centered guys who have nothing to offer. I’ve played that game countless times before and I can’t play it any longer.

    I don’t invest in people who give little and dangle the carrot of maybe I’ll give you more – it’s pointless. The best part is you can’t hurt me if I don’t care and didn’t really invest. I mean sure in certain situations I may think “oh that blows” or “well that’s disappointing oh well” ….that’s as far as it goes.

    It is so easy letting go and cutting people out of my life now – it’s so freeing….

    1. narc affair says:

      Hi Dr. H…great post and agree totally. Youre so right when you understand their tactics its easier to see thru these types and save yourself a lot of time and heartache!

  2. Cc says:

    Every time he future faked I knew he was about to discard me just to make it more hurtful. The goal posts were always being moved (it didnt matter if i lived up to them or not). He’s been trying to jerk me around for over a year. I’m so glad I never let him have intercourse with me. Then it really would have been devastating.

  3. E. B. says:

    You will not hear any of those 50 future faking phrases, if you are in a relationship with an honest, decent partner. ALL of them are red flags.

  4. E. B. says:

    Future faking is what insurance companies do with policies such like long-term income protection, disability insurance, long-term care, etc.

  5. RS says:

    #10. . . When he would video tape us having sex and I would say “this is just between you and I, right? No one else sees this, right?” His response was “I’m not stupid!” WHAT?!!! I know I WAS for letting him do it!!!

  6. Snow White says:

    I heard many of these. Especially the happily ever after ones and how she would always take care of me.
    We looked at houses for months and I don’t think she was intending to purchase one anytime soon. It was just a show to put on so I would see that she was serious about us all living together.

    Went I went to say goodbye to her she threw out
    “It was you that I was going to legally marry”.
    She knew that was something that bothered me and thought that would get me to change my mind. I would have felt guilty as hell because her girlfriend had been with her for 8 yrs and was so excited to be planning a wedding. It would have crushed her but she would have agreed to it also.
    That just shows how the game always changes.

  7. Sophie says:

    I know it doesn’t look it, but it was a business trip, I swear. You would have been bored. Very little fun, just to break the unrelenting monotony. You’re so lucky you stayed home. I promise, I’ll take you with me the next time I go abroad. We’ll make it a proper vacation.

  8. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I’m really starting to see the appeal of not caring.

    It makes me feel so… free.

  9. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    If I have no real investment in someone it really doesn’t matter to me.

    If I entertain an investment and I see the person has future faked about three times I have then established the person is trying to string me along and I clock out. I usually discard the person but sometimes I’ll keep them around if they satisfy a need or entertain me when I feel like it. If not…the person is useless and I have no interest in interacting.

    Over it and onto the next. Their loss…

    The words and promises get played out pretty fast.

  10. Nett says:

    Wow, there are so many of the lies on here that I heard over and over. I used to here the classic one “I’m going to get some help because I want to be your everything”. I guess that was another lie. I feel like I finally have my answers to so many questions. Thank you Mr. Tudor!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Nett.

  11. PhoenixRising says:

    51. I’d marry you everyday and twice on Sunday.
    52. I’ve got you.
    53. Next week we’ll talk.
    54. This week should work.
    55. Of course we can catch up.
    56. I’ll probably call you on my way out of town when I have a good hour or so to talk.
    57. I will reach out to you.
    58. I told you I would talk to you and that I will do, but time has not permitted it to happen yet.

    That last one was his response after weeks of me asking to talk to him and finally getting so fed up with being future faked, that I wrote him a long letter basically telling him he can fuck off because I was done being treated like shit. That was exactly 5 weeks ago. Guess time still hasn’t permitted it to happen. Haha

  12. Insatiable Learner says:

    HG, do narcs mean any of this when they are future faking or they are well aware they are in fact future faking? I am particularly interested in how this works with a mid ranger. No offense to you. 🙂 Thank you!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      None taken. The Mid Ranger means it when it is stated but because of what he is, there is actually no substance behind it because he must do what is necessary in the moment. If that means saying he wants to marry you in six months, he will say it and mean it, but the reason for meaning it is to gain fuel, not to come good on the stated intention. Thereafter, owing to the need for fuel expediency and control, the earlier declaration will probably be denied.

      1. Insatiable Learner says:

        Thanks so much for your detailed response, HG! Very helpful and greatly appreciated!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

    2. Jenna says:

      InsatiableLearner,
      I would like to add what sometimes happened in my case. He is a cowardly mid-ranger so he did not have the courage to say ‘no’ to my face. So he would say ‘yes’ to meeting. Later, he would text and cancel the day b4 or a few hrs b4, using different fake reasons.
      However, he stopped this behavior after i informed him how much it hurts me.

      1. Insatiable Learner says:

        Hi Jenna, I have just now seen your comments to me and wanted to acknowledge them and let you know I appreciate your input!

  13. C★ says:

    Gaslighted into signing mortgage papers for our (future faked) dream home (tropical beach). Absolutely! SO exited & happy…. THEN, it got titled in HIS name only, he controlled the asset, moved us out & put renter in. they destroyed the home, i can recover nothing. I have been spent done by three Narc husbands. ALL of them were wealthier than I… I was so eager to please & have stability & security within the marriages… how stupid I ⚑WAS⚑… Thank god/dess for my 🖤Hurt God❣ and savior… i feel somewhat indebted to you HG..

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