The Rules of Ex Club – No. 30


15 thoughts on “The Rules of Ex Club – No. 30

  1. Rachel says:

    I really don’t think I will be hoovered. He’s knows I still love him and that’s why I believe he won’t hoover. He never speaks to me when collecting our daughter and always brings someone with him. I’m sure it’s the supply that makes him bring someone. Iv had the smear campaign, hate messages when he first left me, blocked from everything apart from his phone. He never answers a message I send regarding our daughter, we are at mediation regarding our daughter. At first he said he was going for full custody then at mediation he says he only wants her to sleep at his 2 nights a month because he’s having fun now with the supply. As much as it kills me I did say I was glad as I didn’t want to be with a pathological liar. So I should think he wouldn’t hoover as much as I would love him to. Crazy I know!!

  2. Jada says:

    hg – Is this statement still true even if the latest ex has been no contact for 6 months and already ignored a hoover attempt?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  3. DeJaVuDo says:

    Interesting how you don’t really get dumped though. My narc won’t say it’s over, but won’t talk about it either. Just acts as though we were never in a relationship. Just keeping me on the back burner.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Exactly and that is why the word ‘discard’ is inaccurate.

  4. DeJaVuDo says:

    Yes for sure….absolutely!!!!

  5. narc affair says:

    Yuppers! Been there several times

  6. K says:

    The last time my MMRN tried to hoover, I almost pushed him down a flight of stairs, but I stopped myself because I didn’t think you would approve.
    Since we are on the topic of physical violence, would punching a lesser be fuel or a criticism? And how would the threat of physical violence be perceived by a lesser and a mid-range. All of my mid-rangers are non-violent and they are ALL cowards when you confront them.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do not care if you pushed him down a flight of stairs, although you might have done when he had you arrested.
      Punching a lesser is Challenge Fuel and you can expect it to are returned tenfold.
      A Lesser would relish the threat of physical violence. It is Challenge Fuel and they would provoke further.
      The Mid-Ranger would use the threat against you by complaining to other people.

      1. Jenna says:

        “I do not care if you pushed him down a flight of stairs…”
        Brutal indifference on ur part.

        1. HG Tudor says:


      2. K says:

        Thanks HG! Yeah, being arrested would have been a bummer. I am working on my “anger” issues. In my defense, they hit me first. I called the police on 4 of my lessers and got restraining orders, and one of them went to jail for a month. I have been no contact since.

  7. Jenna says:

    Good to know.

  8. Peaceful says:

    Post escape hoovers:
    1- 3 page written letter of commitment incl marriage proposal hand delivered to my door, 7 in person promises of change and proposals of marriage, adoption of my daughter, purchase of new home and financial freedom, including of course complete remorse for past hideous behaviors with complete commitment to ensuring all I want in life, hundreds of uncilited emails reiterating such, commitment to ongoing therapy to “fix” himself, and last, a bag labeled “more stuff to burn” which contained many of our photos and portraits from his home of us and me x’d out with black sharpie, torn up.
    What’s next?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The last hoover is malign and suggests that the IGH beforehand has failed and therefore you have been deleted, with a new IPPS installed instead. You may however find yourself on the receiving end of a malice campaign.

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