Little Acons – No. 24
14 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 24”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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HG, do you think your mother was told the same thing when just a little girl?
Seems likely.
I did this intuitively, had the advantage that I had watched what happened when my older sisters cried … so I never did.
I inhibited my tears when I was a child, not because they told me not to cry, on the contary, because they wanted to see them.
And I inhibited them completely. It was a mistake. We need to cry. The tears clean us, unburden us, makes us free.
I must be pretty damn clean right about now!
Noname,
You are right about the need to cry.
It is disconcerting, though, to need to shed decades old tears.
Just thawing out now, I guess.
Perse
So sad this. Crying is very healthy. I think patents that do this are annoyed and dont want to deal with crying and its inconveniences basically…lacking empathy. Very narcish.
I was so terrified my parents were going to hurt me that I trained myself not to cry, or to do so in hiding. By the time I was six, I was sufficiently trained. To survive, you have to learn how to disappear.
That’s one of those conundrums. Narcs enjoy taunting and pushing us to tears, but then can’t stand it when we’re crying. They want to generate the fuel, but I don’t think they really understand our crying and this angers them.
This is correct WS2 in part, the irritation at the tears also comes from
a. Annoyance that we are with someone so weak (but of course we want those tears – but most narcissists do not realise that);
b. Provoking you by telling you to stop crying, so you are hurt further and give more fuel; and
c. Our lack of empathy and lack of desire to offer support,
Of course there are those of us who will express irritation but relish seeing those tears fall.
I remember crying, late in my marriage to my Narc. I observed him and recognized contempt and a lack of concern for my well-being. I thought at the time, “he no longer loves me.”
I realize now that I was in Devaluation and that he never loved me. It’s still painful all these years later.
My apologies. I’ll bet that little freezing comment is heard round the world.
You must develop a heart of ice, to protect yourself from life.
Is that you in the picture?
No.
You Brits and your stiff upper lip! This is even colder than us Yanks with our “I’ll give you something to cry about.”