The 5 Wants of the Narcissist


  1. I want your fuel


I want your fuel. I want it all and I want it from you, him, her, them and especially you. I want it from the moment I rise until the moment I am embraced by slumber. I want it pouring over me, potent and plenty, gushing from you. I want your positive fuel, the joy, the adoration, the love, the passion and the praise. I want your negative fuel, the hatred, the anger, the tears and the fear. Pour it over me, immerse me in that edifying, invigorating and sustaining fuel. There is never enough and I want to keep on experiencing the surge as your fuel increases the flames inside me, burning and rising, powering me as I blaze a trail through all that `I do. I want your fuel now, tomorrow and always.

  1. I want to engulf you

I am immense, a giant, a prince amongst men, a behemoth that moves with ease and purpose about the earth. I want to subsume you into me, ensuring that there is no trace of you left as I fully integrate you into what I am. I want my tendrils to reach out to you, feeling their way towards the fuel vapours that emanate from you, their probing senses tracking you down. I want them to coil about you and pull you towards me, binding you to me until steadily I suck you into my world and into my false reality. I want you hooked up, connected, locked-in, attached and embedded as little by little I consume you and encompass you with my greatness. You will not resist for the elation and delight that you experience as this process happens is irresistible. I want to own you, I want you to become part of me, I want there to be no start to you and any end to me.

  1. I want to be the one

I want to be the one that you think of all of the time. I want you to be the person that you orbit around, your sun, your centre of the universe. I want to be the one that is recognised for my greatness, for my brilliance and my achievements. I do not care that I have exaggerated them or stolen them from others whom I have brushed against, stripping away facets of their character to add to my own. I have no care for that. All I care is that I am the one towards whom heads turn when I enter a room. I am the one who is applauded. I want to be the one who leads, conquers and smites. The destroyer of worlds, the creator of new ones, a god. I want to be the one whose power radiates from him so that is tangible to all those who look upon me. I want to be the one who shocks and awes. I want to be the one who does. I want to be the one who rules, who presides and who dictates. I want to be the one you rely on, turn to and devote yourself too. I want to be the one who is credited for all successes, I want to be the one who is your alpha and your omega, your first thought and your last thought. I want to be the one whose name you utter with your dying breath.

  1. I want your essence

I am the stealer of souls, the charlatan that comes and with sugar-coated promises and offers you the world in exchange for your very essence. You never realise that this is the cost of this transaction but I want to suck the essence from within you, drain you of it and consume it for myself. I want to leave you a broken, dried out husk. I want your essence to fill the gaping hole that endures inside of me. I want that sweet, wonderful essence to flow through me, easing the pain, soothing the fevered freneticism and bring comfort and relief. Like a purifying river, I want your essence to course through me, sweeping away the disease that riddles me. I want your essence to wipe away the dirt, remove the smears and eradicate the stains. I know I flirt with all kinds of dirt, but your essence will save me from such temptation. That is why I want it.

  1. I want it to stop

Or do I?

35 thoughts on “The 5 Wants of the Narcissist

  1. K says:

    Lou’s comment got me thinking. If you are looking for The One, then it seems as if you want it to stop, however, the narcissist’s standards are impossibly high for The One to achieve. She will go stale at some point.

    So, I posit that you want it to stop, however, because of the way you are wired, it may not be possible to stop. Your addiction to fuel and power is so strong that you destroy the very thing that will quell the fury and keep the creature at bay.

  2. “5. I want it to stop”


    I must be a little slow on the uptake here.

    If you want it to stop, what exactly is it you want to stop?

    Or is this merely for your empaths ears so you may gather fuel?

  3. K says:

    5. I want it to stop.
    I don’t think you do, besides you are wired to be a narcissist and most of what you do is instinct so I don’t think you have much choice in the matter.

  4. Lou says:

    I guess that, since narcissists are looking for the One, they implicitly want the whole thing to stop. But of course it never does.

  5. Ramona I says:

    It’s amazing how these monsters take ideas projects and steal them and incorporate them as there own. Like cleptomaniacs straight faced. I remember the day I had a pair of scrubs made of soft fellt like material. I asked him we’re they mine very hesitantly not wanting to make him mad I asked if. They were mine. Even know he would say there not

  6. Noname says:

    “I want it to stop”…

    As I can see, the 20+ Narcissists don’t want to stop it, because they see a lot of advantages of their behavior. Young. Full of health and evergy. A lot of possibilities. “Everything is ahead”. And that explains why the therapy is not successful. They actively don’t want to change anything in them.

    But, 40+ Narcissists are another story (I’m talking about smart ones). They have a life experience. They aren’t so young, full of health and energy. Their future possibilities become limited. “Everything is behind”. And many of those Narcissists start to seek for professional help, because they actively want to change something in their “complex” lives. And the results of therapy is pretty good, because they WANT it to stop.

    The 60+ Narcissists, I guess, are incurable. Too late to make any changes. Their mindset is too rigid for that.

    1. narc affair says:

      Hi noname…the 60+ narc is my narc and he has the mind set of the 20+ yr narc where he knows what he does but it suits him and hes happy going thru life the way he has all these years. Hes not as destructive as a lot of other narcs but the mind game component is very toxic. Fortuneatly its not all the time but my anxiety is and i know its only a matter of time before it rears its head again.
      He is not treatable bc he enjoys how he maneuvers thru life. To change you have to want to change. That motivation has to be there.

    2. wk says:

      so tell me is the polished narcisists split between this emotional fuel and financial gain do you prey on kindness of others and most likely you target people who might borderline on the autistic spectrum and the more normal and focused talent the person might have worked hard to get there and while dealing with handfull of disadvantages you hack these folks that actually care and touch many lives in a positive way you just break them into destroying their world and you talk about it like its a needed culling because what you can bully others but since 99% world sees what you want it makes up for it. maybe it does but after you feed me poison and watch me crash and still i wouldnt wish it on my worst narc but that might be proving your point.

      1. wk says:

        do you funnel cash into bank accounts and just use a po box

  7. Gen says:

    Does it ever stop? If they don’t have new supply and you were discarded, do they try to return or can some narcs stay alone, live alone?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There will always be a risk of a hoover in accordance with the Hoover trigger and the Hoover Execution Criteria being met.

  8. A says:

    But… do you ever want it to stop secretly alone maybe while your shaving ? Maybe a moment of like ugh 😑 can it stop? Just curious HG love picking your brain!

    1. S says:


    2. HG Tudor says:

      No, this is the way it is.

  9. arshalys82 says:

    HG I feel that it’s time for another consult … I am reluctant about this because what u say is right and I don’t want to hear it which is why I need to hear it … I will do the paypal thing tomorrow … My husband will be home in less than a year I need to be prepared…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I look forward to it. Your comment is evidence of a Logic Defence being built.

      1. arshalys82 says:

        My “cold logic” has always been there … It just took a backseat to my husband’s “crazy” … I guess I’m tired of dealing with his “mommy issues” there comes a time where we put all that shit aside and if he can’t or won’t do that than that’s his problem …

  10. angela says:


  11. Anna says:

    I thought you weren’t capable of love? You put an awful amount of energy and passions into the person or primary supply for not loving them. I may say you put more work then I need to put into actually loving a person. For some odd reason this article felt like there was a tad of love.

    I guess I would say I’m the super empath of one intimate relationship and two friendship girlfriend relationships. I’m actually in supernova mode right with the recent no contact and limited exposure when required.

    I did always hope that maybe there was a shread of love and that maybe there was some brief windows or openings that peaked through even if only monetarily that you felt love and connected

    1. Iris says:

      Maybe you don’t miss what you don’t know, as you have no idea how it feels.

      But maybe narcs are envious of it, as they can see that here is something they don‘t have and they want to have it all. That could also be true.

    2. K says:

      There isn’t a shred of love in the narcissist and they cannot form any connections. They are are not wired the way we are.

    3. anonymous says:

      My ex shared and was an open little boy, brief windows of sharing his childhood . . . but then forbade me to bring it up again and when we parted, he made me promise I would never betray his confidences. And I never will. I got a glimpse of an honest vulnerable little boy.
      He’s an actor, in more ways than one, but seriously an actor. I asked him once how do I know when you are acting or being yourself? Now I know he was acting 98% of the time . . . Now I know hes a NPD . . . but those few minutes . . . He doesn’t love me, unless he is love bombing me, but he told me he really likes me as a person. I believe him. Maybe I just need to believe it wasn’t all wasted time. He can’t love anyone–it’s one of his limitations. I can love and I love him, but I am wiser and I don’t want him, the games, the drama anymore.

  12. HG,

    I believe everything you wrote here but this-

    “I know I flirt with all kinds of dirt, but your essence will save me from such temptation. That is why I want it.

    5. I want it to stop”

    I know there is nothing outside of you to save you, and you do not need saving.

    Do you ever really wish to not have to function in the way you do?


    1. HG Tudor says:

      The functioning is not a problem to me Perse.

      1. Iris says:

        I wonder: does being a greater narc help you reach your potential or is it holding you back from achieving even more?

        You are obviously clever, charming etc. (I’m not sucking up to you, just stating the facts), what would your life be like if you were a mere mortal or a super empath?

        What if you had all of the positive emotions too?

        At the moment I’m thinking a lot about narcissism and why it there in the first place. There is so much more to it than just bad relationship stuff and I would really like to know more about the other side of the coin.

        Have you writing an article about that side yet? The contributions of the lesser, the midranger and the grater to our society as a whole?

        Or something about how it helps and/or hinders you to be a narc?

        I don’t want to pry, but who better to ask than a self aware narc?

        I’m sure you will not answer me if you don’t feel like it, but I would really appreciate it.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Being what I am enables me to succeed and be effective both in terms of my existence and also what I do professionally.
          The positive emotions would hinder me and make me less effective.

      2. arshalys82 says:

        Than what is a problem to you ? Lol again I come back to the same question … Why put yourself through all this “therapy” make urself vulnerable ? You have mentioned something about a reward of some kind sometime materialistic … You have published many books I doubt you are in need of financial assistance … I guess I’m curious as to what’s the real reason ur doing this ? Do you really get a kick out of stating the obvious ? I doubt that …

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Please see previous answers given on repeated occasions to this question.

          1. arshalys82 says:

            Lol I know FUEL … whatever the fuck that may be …

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Yeah what is it, after all it never gets mentioned does it?

  13. Aurora says:

    I broke up with him almost 3 weeks ago. It was a 1 year relationship. We were living together at my house till the seperation. He took his staff and left the house. During the seperation we kept contacting. Sometimes he came and stayed at my house. He had tried to get the relation back for many times. He sometimes was nice, sometimes bad and sometimes silent.
    Yesterday he called me in the middle of the night to say he loves me. We talked half hour. Today, i didnt call him till midnight. That’s to say we didnt have a connection till my whatsapp message. I text him and he replied cold. Then i called him but he rejected. I asked why he refused my calling. He said it was because of the battery. Then i invited him to my house.
    He didn’t answer it yes or no. He said was out.
    He is giving me either silent treatment or found a new one. What can i do to attract his attention?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If he is a narcissist you do not need to attract his attention. You should be ensuring you do not attract his attention.

    2. Erin says:

      The easiest way to attract a Narcissist is to be happy without him/her. As soon as he catches wind of it, he wants back in to tear you down again (also, how dare you be happy without him?).
      the ONLY way to be REALLY happy is to listen to H:G: Stay away from the narcissist, cut him out of your life like a tumor, remove him as you would a leech, for there is no joy he can bring you…All he will do is suck out your emotions, your energy, your time and your self-worth.
      You will think “But I miss him”, however you do not miss HIM, you miss the illusion, and the illusion itself was a mirror of you. You don’t miss him, you miss yourself, the person you were and can be.
      Go no contact: block him on all social media; block his numbers and emails; make it impossible for him to contact you in any way; move if you can because he will try and show up at your house to mess with you; cut ties with friends of his or shared acquaintances when possible; if some contact with people both of you know is unavoidable, DO NOT show any emotion at the mention of his name and change the topic immediately, any emotion you show will be reported to him. Vanish, so he can never drag you down to his little hell again.
      You have the chance to be free
      to be happy
      take it.

    3. anonymous says:

      Run as far away and as fast as you can . . . save yourself.

  14. H. says:

    sounds like a good story line for a soap opera and it could be called ” As the World Spins”.

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