The Narcissistic Truths – No. 222

ONCE YOU AREOUR TARGETIT IS JUSTAQUESTIONOF TIME

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25 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 222”

  1. “Courteous response declining the invitation.”

    So I should not have RSVP’d his family that I was coming and bringing a date?

  2. This reminds me of a point in time in the relationship i remember distinctly. I even remember where i was when i thought it. It was a pivotal moment. It was i think the first year and i remember thinking to myself…you can turn back now before this develops into more. It was an ominous feeling like my conscience knew this wasnt a good pathway in my life. Its like the red riding hood article. I knew it was wrong. At that point i couldve turned back. His narcky behaviour was more visible in a lot of ways and made it easier to see what i was in for but that void i had was too great and i didnt want to feel it again so i carried on down that pathway. Seven years later and the ensnarment is at its greatest. Im armed with knowledge but the attachment is so very complex and to leave would be way more difficult now then it wouldve back then. Trust your gut and do whats right before you become too entangled!

      1. If you doubt your logical thinking, trust your bullshit meter. Your gut knows something is off.

        This is also some kind of emotional thinking from your point of view, but it’s 100% accurate when you learn to trust it.

        I think it’s left from our prehistorical brain: deciding to fight or flight within seconds.

    1. Hi narcaffair,

      Being on this site, and due to hg, i found out that the man i met in grp therapy is a narc. He seems so caring and so damn gorgeous it was hard for me to resist his flirty behavior, and his compliments abt my appearance, and him wanting to meet up. But i resisted becoz i do not wish to be entangled again. I’m having enuf of a hard time getting nex off my mind.

      Ty hg. 🌹

      1. Hi jenna….youve come so far the fact youve seen thru this guy and resisted his love bombing!! HGs knowledge is second to none!

      2. Hi Jenna, no offense but am I missing something? If I remember correctly, you presently have a partner/boyfriend plus you said you still loved your narc. How in the world are you additionally interested or were interested in this other guy who turned out a narc? I loved the narc so much no other man existed.

  3. Hello HG,

    I just received a gift from the greater. It is an old copy of my favourite book written in Elizabethan english. The card attached to the gift says:
    «To my beautiful norwegian ice queen,
    For what should have been, and still can become».

    What is the smartest way to go about this? Do I:
    a) Just keep the book, and don’t respond?
    b) Send the book in return?
    c) Keep the book, and thank him?

    In addition; his mom’s christmas card came with it, and she is inviting me to their family gathering after the holidays.

      1. Hi HG. If Sunniva returns the book wouldn’t that be providing positive fuel to her narcissistic boyfriend? My suggestion would be to go into No Contact mode, because returning the book would encourage his behavior towards her and he would continue to try to hook her back into the relationship. I suggest to not return the book and leave it alone. Go No Contact.

      2. No, returning the book is an emotion free gesture and is an act of rejection. It would wound. Accepting the book infers appreciation, gratitude, pleasure and this will provide the narcissist with Thought Fuel and lower the Hoover Bar.

    1. And since the gift was a benign response to something else, his reaction to the return of the gift might come as a more malign response?

      1. There may be a malign response but it depends on how effective your no contact regime is.

    2. Hi Caroline,
      Thank you😊❄️❄️

      Yes, he is good, and one of the most dangerous species alive, from what I have read here on the blog.

      I will listen to HG, that is the reason for asking him, before I do anything😊

    3. Thank you for all your well placed advices, HG.

      *A question of time is my favourite DS song (hence the headline and text for the blogpost).

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