The Narc Days of Christmas – No. 5

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31 thoughts on “The Narc Days of Christmas – No. 5”

  1. My narc Mom was a big spend thrift! We always had a pile, things I never thought of. It made it hard later, raising my own kids, as I had to compete with her for things she was buying, so I didn’t feel like a bad mom or something. Before I knew it I was putting a new pair of shoes in my kids Easter baskets! Who does that?! It’s just supposed to be candy, maybe a plush bunny. I couldn’t afford it, geez, the credit card balances!

  2. This meme is hilarious. My mom does this to me like every year now that she’s getting older. They unload whatever old weird thing happens to be in the house with some crazy story about why it’s valuable. They’re quite well off financially, so this makes the behavior even more absurd. Last year she gave me one of the polishing bags from a jeweler-with no jewelry in it! Seriously. Who does that?

  3. Dear abrokenwing,
    Your house sounds exactly like my house… I make my own mulled wine, ginger heart shaped biscuits, baileys yuuuuuum…. Beegie Adair plwying in the background
    Luv it !
    Ps .. I love those men’s Xmas suits as well as the ugly jumpers 🤶🏻
    I’m sooo kitch ….haha

  4. Dear Catherine, narc affair, Iris and K

    Thankyou all so much for all your responses … that was quite unexpected!

    My childhood was not the best and I’m sorry K of what you endured.
    We’ve all suffered enormously in various ways. That’s why we all connect and support.
    thank you lovelies 💜

    1. Thank you Bubbles and ABW!

      We are no longer trapped by our family narcs and we can spend our Christmases and New Years the way we want to, without all the narc shenanigans, and the support and connection we get here helps out immensely. And I agree, they have money for grog, pets, drugs and cigarettes but not for books, decent clothes or healthy food.

  5. Even as a child I always managed to earn and save up some money to buy my parents a gift.
    My father was always surprised. He would then go to his room and come back with whatever he found there and gave it to me as a Christmas present.

    1. ABW
      Heartbreaking…I am so sorry. You and Bubbles deserved better. To be treated like that on Christmas, like you were just an afterthought. How sad.

    2. Dear abrokenwing,
      How tragic.
      My brother and I did “bobs for jobs” in the scouts/girl guides … to buy gifts. I got a job at 12years in the local caravan park.
      Even when one is down on their luck, charity shops have amazing toys for kids! It’s funny how the parents can always afford cigarettes, grog, drugs ….. and pets !

      Some people just shouldn’t be parents 😥

      1. K and Bubbles,

        Oh well, it was what it was….
        It didn’t crush my spirit tho, I still enjoy Christmas just like you Bubbles 🙂.
        I can spend hours wrapping the presents with a glass of Baileys while listening to a Xmas music. Baking Xmas cookies with the children, singing carols, Midnight Mass, ugly Xmas jumpers, mulled wine, Home Alone, having everyone for dinner at my house…I love it all !

    3. abrokenwing Oh man I can relate to this one. My parents would expect me to get them gifts with the no money I had as a kid, but neither of them would give me money to buy the other parent gifts, which is something I later learned is NORMAL for parents to do, since a kid doesn’t have money.
      When I was an adult earning a moderate amount of money I allowed myself to go into debt every Christmas buying them gifts. Of course nothing was ever good enough. Finally I put my foot down one year, I just snapped because I knew that I should be allowed to enjoy Christmas at least once in my life.
      My Christmases have been relatively narc and gift free for over 10 years. I don’t miss either.

      1. My therapist who knows a little bit about my childhood by now said in the last session “ after everything they did to you , you still keeping in touch with you parents even though it’s hard for you and you seem to forgive them …”

  6. Don’t worry about it HG, I was just a bit irritated. Seeing al the little mistakes I make and not being able to correct them.

    Being a perfectionist has its perks, but it’s sometimes annoying too.

    I just have to remind myself that my English is probably a lot better than most people’s Dutch 😉

  7. “Live” is off course “life”.

    HG can you please upgrade this website? Pretty please with sugar on top 🙂

      1. Well, of course, it is the best available package. A Greater Elite Narcissist would settle for nothing less.

  8. My sister is big on lavish gifts, but they’re always things she likes to receive herself, as she can not put herself in my shoes at all.

    She is also somewhat of a window dresser: she likes to decorate her live and being generous fits perfectly in that vision of herself.

  9. Dear Mr Tudor,
    One Christmas pressie I received from my mum’s boyfriend at the time and she knew, was a very large package consisting of at least 30 layers of Xmas unwrapping to eventually reveal a packet of “chewing gum”!

    They thought it was hilarious!
    I was devastated!
    I was 10 !

    I hated them both!!!!!

    I hated Christmas!
    I never received things I wished for …
    That’s why I hate these memes . sorry … the truth hurts !

    1. Ps … just to add a more uplifting note !
      I absolutely love Christmas!
      My home is decorated like the “magic cave”. I home bake everything. My family love it, they’ve known no other. Everyone loves it!
      I do the same for Easter, birthdays, valentines, you name it .. my home is full of love!
      When I was younger, I used to volunteer taking orphaned kids out for the day, buy them ice creams and gifts … I often wonder what happened to them !

      1. Just another added thingy …
        I just viewed a UK documentary on “The Making of a Psychopath”
        talking about Ian Brady and interviewing 4 other psychopaths … mainly killers and the exploration of the psychopathic mind . It involved childhood experiences, serotonin drug inducement (which helped, but didn’t fix it) . The term “narcissist” was used only once! All showed lack of empathy and compassion. The lady doctor compare was very empathic to the psychopath and realised their role in society for them.
        Fascinating but very disturbing!
        This is your forte Mr Tudor!

      2. Ty for that info bubbles im going to watch it. Hopefully its on utube or netflix or amazon prime.
        Dr. Harleen would probably enjoy it too. Where are you? I miss your posts!

        I do very much enjoy these types of documentaries. They really shed light on the disorder.

    2. Hi bubbles…wow thats awful 🙁 How anyone can be so mean to their child is beyond me. So sorry you experienced this.

    3. Bubbles
      I am so sorry; you were just a child, that made my piss boil, and it is ok to hate the memes. They can bring back bad memories. My childhood was so screwed-up that some of the memes can’t be applied to my experience. There needs to be a meme with crushed beer cans all over the floor, overflowing ash trays and mirrors that were used to do lines of cocaine.

      P.S. I hated my parents, too, and I am happy that you love and celebrate Christmas now.

    4. Bubbles,
      I totally get the horror of this story!!! My parents were exactly like this. The laughing at a child really imprints in a nasty way. Sounds like you got a great handle on holidays now as an adult, though! 🙂

      1. Bubbles’ comment was heartbreaking. I felt so sad and angry after I read it that I hated her parents too.

  10. Haha! Hello HG. I didn’t get old presents but I did get little presents of no intrinsic value and things I neither desired. Please could you explain why narcs are so mean? Is it because the ‘love’ interest is considered to be unworthy of spending on?

    1. In order to devalue. It is not an intrinsic trait that a narcissist will be mean as we may (not all admittedly) be prone to gestures of largesse and generosity.

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