Letter to the Narcissist – No. 12



Is your soul still stuck on the rat wheel you can’t get off, where there is a new beginning at 12 o’clock and by 6 o’clock the disappointment and devaluation begins, disengaged by 11 o’clock and it all starts again…………..and so on, and so on , constantly reinventing yourself using pieces of them all  ………


A never ending circle of lie after lie, sexual encounter after encounter…………………you have no full time job as quite frankly – who would employ YOU with your history?!  Do you not realise the professional sector you are in people actually talk to each other and know about this side of you?  They see the stupid, childish, self centred posts you publically put on your social media – because of course it is open for all to see.  Why would you breath, exist, do anything if there was nobody to watch?  What would be the point?


How is your harem of women on your social media darling?  I know you blocked me but yes, I stalk it sometimes just to see the new additions – nearly always single young mothers; grateful for a little attention.   I laugh and think ‘really?’ at some – but I know you have no long term (or even short term) plans for any of them.  I actually don’t get how you attract younger women – it has to be the 1am, 2am chats you hold when you wake them and ask what they are wearing and to send a photo of themselves as you send one of you.   And you then proceed to talk sexually in a most descriptive manner, trying to find boundaries so you know where to push at a later date.  Yes, you will target these and celebrate running through them.


I hate how you treated me.  I divorced so fast for YOU, moved my ex out for YOU, so we could be seen out and about together.  After all, the reason you told me we had to stay behind closed doors was because I wasn’t yet divorced, then my ex hadn’t yet moved out, then……………no more excuses, so you started the discard.   Then you suddenly withdrew that wonderful fantastic athletic sex, suddenly, all stopped.   Then let down arrangements one after another.  Then you went on holiday and with a woman I am sure of it, which was months ago now – but still…………………the daily text or sometimes texts….planting yourself into my mind.


And I also hate myself.   I hate that I loved you so much, I hate that I can’t breathe if I don’t receive that text, I hate thinking how intense sex was with you,  I hate seeing your comments to other women how hot they are and WOW !  I HATE THAT.


When I ask you about anyone – you lie, I know far more about everything than you think I do.


I know about your past, before me – and it is quite shocking I have to say – and you would wither and die if everyone knew.     I know how you tick, and I make no issue of telling you just that.  How you need the attention (fuel) to exist.  The new fresh female in your life where it’s all potent………and then it dilutes, and onto the next.  Otherwise your depression sets in and you then post to all about that to gain sympathy and attention.  And of course it reminds you who you have on your shelves that you can go back to squeeze a bit more out of – or a quick shag whilst the kids are at school.


You disgust me, I hate you.     And I need to stop loving you.


I found out last week that you have been seeing an older well off lady in the next town – it started whilst you were still with me!  But – was I ever really with you?  You hid me away from everyone – nobody knew I existed.  Your Dirty Little Secret.   I think you are still seeing her – but at what stage the narc cycle is at, I do not know.  But I told you I knew about her – and watched you panic over txt.   You denied it of course!  You wanted to know who? How? When? I knew………..NO I AM NOT TELLING YOU.  ‘Tell me’ you said – NO.


You are so fearful of me exposing this – will I message her?  Will I visit her? Will I put a public post out about it? Or shall I just message the harem and teach them all about your antics.  What a scandal that would be…………..!


I can’t tell you how much I want to meet someone that takes my thoughts from you, I hate that I think about you all the time – affecting my job and my life as a whole.  I now live alone and have all that thinking time.


I am smarter than you – and by god you know it.  I am always ahead of you and I have recently removed emotion from my digs and our conversations.  It’s amazing how much I run rings around you without that key thing.


I will win, because I am now winning.  You will always be a Mid-Ranger Narcissist, as always – never good enough to be the best at anything you do!




6 thoughts on “Letter to the Narcissist – No. 12”

  1. Bless you stay strong and heal, I too am struggling and my time and involvement was far less than yours, we know your pain I wish so much for your happiness and all in our group. lots of love

  2. Wow ty for sharing annabelle…your letter so accurately sums up a narcissist! The cycle, what happens when fuel runs low and how he gets sympathy and most importantly the behind the scenes shananigans.
    You mentioned you want to stop loving him. What is it about him you love? I ask bc maybe it isnt actually love but lust. A therapist brought this up to me and at the time i shook my head and denied. A part of me does love my narc but a lot of it was lust.
    What are the qualities about him that deserve your love? From what youve said in your letter i see none but im not involved with him. Addiction too can be mistaken for love.
    You know a lot about what hes doing. Id use it to focus on why you dont love him and go. You know you go. I know too but havent left so i can sympathize. You sound like a very strong woman and smart. You can do it! All the best and you deserve so much more than this disordered man.

  3. All our stories are so similar..There must me a How to be an Evil Sick Lying Scum Bag Narcissist HAND BOOK. Or they are reading HG Tudor blogs 🙂 I do not think Narcissist LIKE TO BE together or be in some type of group LIKE a Black Sex Cult. Hmmmmm I think they do not like to compete for attention. OR do they and we are just in the dark about it. There is so much talk they are soulless evil creators that can put some spell on us. Something is very hooky poky of how they get into our being. I think it is sex. They have their stench on us, and we literally need to do cleansing of the energy we have of them on us. I may seem kind of out there. BUT I tried everything and the energy cleansing helped me the most. After that, seeing him made me SICK he was NOT handsome to me anymore. He was a pathetic little man, Just my thoughts today..Peace and Blessings

  4. Too much said ……I get it.
    Hope she didn’t send. Or, unless it was addressed to yours (meaning you) truly?

  5. Gosh Annabelle.. he sounds like the narc who conned me! Even down to dating an older, well off woman while with me, and still “in a relationship” with her, and denying it and panicking when i said i knew about her. Even also about going on holidays overseas ‘by himself’ haha.. we all know who he took with him. But of course he only sent selfies on location never any other type of photo. But mine also still lives with his unknowing and worshipping and trusting IPPS.. am sure they are married but he denies this too. He originally said she cheated on him for five months and that they broke up .. right.. so why is all her stuff at his house then? Hmm… he lies constantly about everything and cheats behind his IPPS and IPSS…he is a scum of the earth Mid range narcissist too.. luckily now my emotions are of disgust and hate and I despise him now. I would love to expose the creep, but know he would do alot worse to me by lying like crazy about me, because he told me he would do so much worse to me if i exposed him, so i have to keep silent..best wishes in getting ur narc out of ur life….they really zap life out of everybody tbey meet..

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