The One and Only



I really do think the world of you, you know. I have not met anybody like you. No don’t shake your head. I know you are modest but you should accept a compliment when it is given, heaven knows you deserve it. I have to admit I have had a few relationships, but you know, we have all been there haven’t we? I used to think I knew what love was. I used to think that the person I was with was what I wanted, the answer to my prayers and that special someone. All of that was not the case. In fact, it is quite apparent to me that they were really just practice runs to allow me to perfect my love in readiness for your arrival. I know it may seem strange but I feel like that I have always known you and moreover that somehow that I always knew we would be together. I used to tell myself in previous relationships that this was it, this was the one, but something would go wrong. I guess I was not a very good judge of characters back then. I kept picking the wrong ones. Goodness me I could tell you some tales. I have hooked up with some real fruit loops in my time. I seem to attract them. I think it is because when I want to be with someone I give my absolute all to that person. I see no point in holding back, do you? It has to be everything or it is worth nothing. I can see you nodding, I thought you would agree. You and I are on the same wave length. I can sense it. I have an aptitude for it. A sixth sense. I have to admit I have not always been blessed with it and it has taken some time to fine tune it, I guess that is why I had to go through the rollercoaster ride with some of my exs. Still, although they did not treat me well, no it is okay, you don’t need to know about all of that. I want to talk about you and me, that is far more important. Yes, they did not treat me well at all but that’s for another story I do not want to spoil tonight talking about their jealous rages and violent tempers. Thank goodness you are not like that. No it is fine you do not have to persuade me of that being the case. I know you are not like them. I can tell you are a far better person. Do you know how I know? It is in the way that you move. Yes, it is. You move with a grace I have not seen before. That tells me that you are self-assured but not in a flamboyant manner. You know who you are and you move around with a grace and a presence which brings reassurance. I will let you into a little secret. Before I spoke to you I used to watch you. Not in a stalker kind of way, more as in an interested observer kind of way. I saw how people reacted to you, with warmth and delight whenever you spoke to them and I thought to myself when I saw how their faces lit up and how their eyes widened in pleasure that you were probably the kind of person who spends more time looking after other people than you do spend looking after yourself. I am right aren’t I? It is not good trying to hide and look at the floor I can see I am right. I usually am about people. It is something of a gift but one I am now able to use to avoid the people who would hurt me and believe me there have been a few of them and instead find someone who will respect and love me in the same way that I will love and respect them.

It is all about finding that mutuality isn’t it? I bet you and I have much in common. Well, I know from our last date we share similar tastes in music and travel destinations and that just proves my point. I should imagine that if we discussed politics, although I don’t intend to tonight, there will be plenty of time to do that in the future, we would have similar views. You see that I have been able to work out, after all the mishaps and the people that have let me down, who is right for me and who I am right for. I am a straight-forward kind of fellow. I will put you on a pedestal and worship you, yes I will, because somebody like you, someone so special and caring deserves that. Oh I know you modern independent ladies are all about equality and believe me I am one hundred percent behind that but I do know that once upon a time you used to pretend to be a princess and that never leaves you. How do I know that? I have a sister you see and I saw how she played and made-up games based around being a fairy or a princess, good characters who wanted that happy ever after. I know it has never left her and so by the same token I know that someone like you, a good and decent and honest people still has that desire to be treated properly and every once in a while reminded of that fact. I can tell by your smile that you agree with me and I am glad of that because I know how well I will treat you. I have much to give to you and you deserve to be treated right. You see, I sense, like me you have been hurt in the past. I can see it in your eyes. You are hoping that nothing spoils what we have because it is showing such promise isn’t it? Yes, I thought you would agree. I can tell by the slightly guarded manner you have, but don’t be concerned, that is no bad thing given the way that some people behave, but I am not like them. You have no need to be concerned about me. I will only ever look after you and have your best interests at heart. That is why you and I have been brought together, two people who just want to love and be loved. It is not much to ask is it? That is why when I first met you I realised that you are the one.

You rise from your chair to go to the bathroom and I sit back in my chair and smile. I can say that speech backwards now and it works every time.

34 thoughts on “The One and Only

  1. SuperXena says:

    …. ..

  2. Ninaestralla says:

    Yes I fell for that speech. Hard. Yesterday I had to ( because of a business venture I share with him) pick up some papers from his car as I asked. Just leave it in your car and I will pick it up. All went well until he texted later… you looked beautiful, you are my dream girl. I didn’t respond. When I feel tempted I remember the black eye. When I’m tempted I remember the mocking and humiliation. When I’m tempted I think of him receiving a love note text while in bed with me. I wasn’t his dream girl, I was a pretty accessory as disposable as a worn out suit or broken watch. I feel actual fear that our paths will cross. Just opening his car door and smelling him… tobacco and wood shavings, sent ice through my veins. He is strict with his rules. I broke the biggest rule of all and escaped. He doesn’t know where I live now. He can’t reach me. He thought I’d never be clever or strong enough to leave. He told me I was his property, that he owned me, that I couldn’t survive on my own without his guidance. I’m surviving but the thought of his icy green eyes haunts me. The eyes of a reptile.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Its hard to remember these things but not as hard as the punishment that will come from breaking his rules no matter how sweet or sorry he sounds now. Let that guide you when tempted. He was wrong about you. You are strong enough. Let him slither back under the rock he came from.

  3. Presque Vu says:

    Twilight – thank you for elaborating. I read the whole article from the prospective of the IPPS as I’ve never been an IPSS.
    The same speech – it would seem – is related to all.

    1. Twilight says:

      Prescient Vu

      Your welcome. I understand i own a been there done that shirt. IPPS and now own a former Candidate shirt to.
      One can read the articles in many ways depending on where they are at on their journey.

  4. Pam says:

    Do you ever hear rumblings from The Beast/The creature, pounding from below, clamoring his chained fists against that padlocked boundary you strive so dearly to keep in place?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Maybe or then again perhaps I’m just hungry

      1. Lori says:

        This is how I know I was Candidate IPSS. I could Mr. Lesser thought I was the one eventhough I was long distance. He thought I was the one until well, I wasn’t lol

  5. Blue Falcon says:

    Yeah I have heard every single one of these words, at the time I thought I was in front of my soulmate when in reality I was in front of a LIFE LESSON!
    He can recite this so well, this happens when you are in the presence of Lucifer, now I know how soulless your kind is, there is a reason why we become “The one” soon after you are drained then you become “The discard” but don’t despair because while you thrive to take my soul with you, I put up one of the greatest fight of all, I won because you are no longer with me, your words that once were “love words” turn out to be the same weapon I would use to defeat you!

    It may be hard for you to see how I won, your kind “never lose” but you do lose, you lose when your words are no longer powerful, you lose when you know I know your true, you know I see you preying your next victim, I see you how eager you are I can sense how you suddenly have to switch and change to become someone you are not in order to get fuel, yet I am and will always be who I am because I don’t prey on victims, I didn’t became heartless, I became wise, I can sense your fear, I no longer care if you think you can get fuel of me, my fuel will be poisoning you until you can’t no longer think ahead of your game, you will be confuse as what’s happening to you, all this is because you don’t matter, which is the worse punishment for your kind!

    Your sole existence is reduce to fumes!
    Enjoy the taste of your slow destruction while I watch you evaporate from the earth, you are going to wish upon your own death and won’t understand what’s happening, what a glorious day the moment where all your Victims realize they are the Victor it will be your END

    With love
    #Narcissitkryptonite because I am your worst enemy

    1. SMH says:

      Wow, Blue Falcon. Do you have super powers? Please share with the rest of us because we would all like to be narcissist kryptonite!

    2. foxkrystalle66 says:

      Blue Falcon lady I sense there lies within a darkly bewitching power safeguarded and hidden from sight.

      A narcissist mate had best not betray you this beautiful blue Falcon lady who holds the gift of Sight with nerves of steel.

      Blue Falcon lady you say it so well; that Narc who thought he had you only to hurt you and discard you… had your soul….he is now lying in a dark world called Hell…

  6. Lori says:


    Every time you identify a new target and you are in the seduction phase do you believe that they really are “the one ” every time ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      With the Candidate IPSS, yes.

      1. Presque Vu says:

        Surely you mean IPPS?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No Candidate Ipss. That comes before installation as IPPS

      2. Twilight says:

        Prescient Vu

        At this time the IPPS is on the down slide, fuel has become stale, the candidate has shown the traits the narcissist is looking for and fuel is fresh and new so she becomes “the one” and cycle repeats.

  7. Dronning says:

    I’ve heard this but I’m not listening anymore. Nobody is home. Narcs desperately need new material.

    1. Amanda Katz says:

      For a narc who is involved in an extramarital affair, can the mistress ever become the IPPS if he is devoting more time and attention to her than the wife? Or is the mistress always the IPSS because she doesn’t have the commitment on paper or is not part of his facade of legitimacy?

      1. HG Tudor says:

        She may well become the IPPS

  8. Amanda Katz says:

    I just wept after reading this. His seduction techniques—verbatim. I am wondering how a normal feeling human being can recover from this kind of unconscionable behavior. I doubt I ever will.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Amanda, Remember you are not alone. We have all been where you are. It will take some time but you will recover! The light that shone so bright inside of you will in time come back. It will start out as just a glimmer but the more you learn and understand what has happened to you the brighter that light will become. Stay here on the blog. Ask questions, everyone here will try to help you. Read HG’s books! If your not sure what to read, just ask. The people in this blog are amazing! Consult with HG! He can get you through this, he is full of so much knowledge. He is always very professional and has helped many here where therapist could not. You will recover dear!! It will just take time and understanding. Be good to your self. We are all here to help! 🌻

      1. Amanda Katz says:

        Thank you, foolme. It will be a long road, but I’m getting the help I need. A consultation might be a good idea due to other factors aside from the discard that are contributing to the hell I am in right now.

        1. Fool me 1 time says:

          Amanda, I have had many consults with HG and can tell you he can and will help you! His professionalism and direct answers will give you the answers you need to come through this on top. Stay strong. 🌻

        2. Clarece says:

          Hi Amanda! I’m very saddened to hear your story and the despair inside you. It takes me back to 3 years ago at my very low point. Had it not been for my daughter to keep me anchored in my day to day life and also be lovingly bonded with I used to think I had no reason to not just go in a room, turn myself into a mute and never interact with another breathing soul.
          FM1T and Narc Angel are right about trying a consultation with HG. I think it can only be beneficial for you at this point. The way he can translate conversations you had with the Narc with the correct /real perspective how they were meant by the Narc was the game changer for me. And i had to have him do that repeatedly for a long time because it was that hard for me to process someone operating from such a vastly different mindset (or world view as HG says). I even noticed other readers commenting on my progress over time. It took about two years but my sense of humor returned. My bubbliness came back. So it won’t happen overnight, but you will climb out of the abyss. HG and this blog are truly what helped me move past the most damaging relationship of my life. I really try to weigh pros vs cons with interacting with someone who is a self proclaimed, narcissistic sociopath who given the opportunity will manipulate for his benefit above anyone else. In the end, he has consistently been patient, direct and encouraging to my benefit.

    2. NarcAngel says:

      Foolme1time is a great example of the wonderful people who have been where you are and are now here to support and assure others who arrive as they did. Take her great advice. The information, services and resources provided, and support here is second to none. You are in the place to succeed. You can and will recover.

      1. Fool me 1 time says:

        Aww NA, Thank you. But you have been a great strength to many here on the blog. You also make me smile and laugh with some of your zingers, especially when the ones you are zinging don’t even realize it! It feels good to be able to smile again! Oh btw, what ever happened to those nipple clamps?! 😝😘

    3. Pale Horse says:

      I would like to echo all of foolme1time’s sentiments. I too was in a very dark place. Until I came across HG and this community approximately five months ago. I learned that I was not the only one to fall victim to such behaviors. More importantly, I came to an understanding that, and stay with me here, the torment that my ex-narc subjected me to was not personal. In fact, with enough time, between reading, participating on the blog, and HG’s enlightening and empowering consultations, you will find that for the N, it is the same script over and over. The players simply change. Please stay with us. It will be the best decision you will ever make. It has been for me.

      1. Presque Vu says:


      2. SMH says:

        That is a really important point, Pale Horse, and it also helped me to know that the torment was not personal. I think we all feel a certain amount of humiliation at being played so it’s important to have this community and to learn HG’s lessons.

        Amanda, I hope you stay and do a consultation too. It will really help you to sort things out.

        1. Pale Horse says:

          Absolutely, SMH. Although I attempt to remind myself daily that it was/is not personal…..some days the pain burns through my soul. For me, when I reflect back on my relationship with my ex-n, I see some things so clearly now and hope to continue to become enlightened. Something silly that helps me cope with some of the negative feelings is a scene from one of my favorite television series of all time, ‘Hannibal’. If you are not familiar, there is a scene when the mask falls and Hannibal is found out. One of the characters states, ” I was so blind….” Hannibal responds, ” In your defense, I worked very hard to blind you….” Priceless.

          1. SMH says:

            Good to keep in mind, Pale Horse, but only a Greater would be aware of working hard to blind you. Was yours a Greater? It is almost worse dealing with an unaware narc who has no idea why he does what he does and cannot understand why it is disturbing…

          2. Pale Horse says:

            No, mine was a LMR.

          3. SMH says:

            I think HG would say she was acting on instinct, then, and not deliberately trying to blind you. Makes it very frustrating – just goes around in circles in my experience.

    4. Presque Vu says:

      Amanda you will! And when you do – you’ll be the strongest you’ve ever been before!
      No-one will hurt you like this again if you educate yourself with HG’s blog, books and videos on Youtube. Consume EVERYTHING!
      Knowledge is power – suck it up!

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