I Want
32 thoughts on “I Want”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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I am forever a Care Bear…
I Hope
I hope you trust that others can help. I hope you know your wounds can heal. I hope you feel the warmth of my love day and night. I hope my words resonate even when the creature is clamoring to tell you otherwise. I hope the creature falls off the proverbial precipice and it swallows him whole. He sounds like a giant, life-sucking a**hole.
I hope you break the chains that bind your heart. I hope you are the beast and one day you find beauty and discover your appliances were really people. I hope you realise life is as delicate and fleeting as a blooming rose.
I hope one day you lose your pinocchio nose. I hope you realise the wood veneer covering your imperfect soul is unnecessary. Underneath is a magnificent oak. It’s not rotted and black. I hope you understand the beauty in blemishes and cracks.
I hope you understand I don’t hate you and never will. I hope you understand you are only human and that is not a bad thing. I hope you understand that second place f**king rocks and should be celebrated. Experiences are the best trophies. I hope in times of victory, you hear my congrats, and in times of defeat, I’ve still got your back.
I hope you ask for help and realise I am there. I hope you let me kiss your scars. I hope you know how much I love you. I hope you know that I know your malevolence is a way to shield your pain. A paper dragon to scare me away. But my love is stronger than fire and ice. And I will still love you when you are not so nice. This doesn’t mean that I will let you abuse me. I know my boundaries thanks to HG.
I hope after you put down your green cilice, mr. grinch, your heart grows three sizes that day. I hope you know how many people you help with your books and blog. Even if we are scared by gruesome monologues.
I want you to know the true meaning of love. I hope you know I never want to hurt you. But if it happens, you need to learn to cope. Because I am human like you, and I will make mistakes. I hope your learn to forgive those who have hurt you with words or deeds. Because hurt turns to hate, if you water the seeds.
I hope my love touches your heart like the sun on your face. I hope your mask drops so you can feel it. I hope you see all the colors in life, not just the blackest of black or the whitest of white. I want your dreams to come true and your nightmares to recede. I hope you realise you are not alone. My love is always there to have and to hold.
I hope you understand I will not stop. I hope you realise my love is unstoppable.
Love always protects.
Love always hopes.
Love never fails.
Beautiful Valkyrie! I am a care bear too. Hope can be cruel at times, but I can’t help but hold on to her.
Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. ~ Desmond Tutu
I read this post once before, just an inner reflection of the dark thoughts this post evokes in me this time:
“ Be careful hunting monsters, lest you become one yourself, for when you stare into the Abyss, the Abyss also stares into you.”
Nietzsche. Beyond Good and Evil.
TT
GOOD FOR YOU
You won’t always feel this way. That was awesome.
Oh such a revealing and frightening read HG ..I kept seeing an image of Edgar Allen poe’s The Raven .. so apt really because it seems they want us dead inside except for the fuel we can supply them .. The lyrics Killing me softly also come to mind …sorry im in a bit of a philosophical mood ..Thankyou HG you are a wonderful writer and each one helps me become stronger and makes me smile now too ……
Thank you and you are welcome.
ooh im smiling more now! I have my first reply from you ..I feel quite chuffed … yes its a good day …and oh dear that shows if you were my narc how easy it is for me to be hoovered . I better go have some cake ( runs away laughing to hide embarrassment )
Dear HG and anyone else who reads this…
Take it as a personal cathartic exercise what I’m about to write. You may find it too controversial to post HG and that is your prerogative but after reading this particular piece, my mind spat this out in about 15 mins. It is raw and unfiltered. I decided to leave it that way. Offence is not meant to anyone.
I suppose you could call it the dark side of the empathic.
I want you to know that you’re a piece of polished turd. Although you clean up nicely, you’ll always be a piece of shit.
I want you to know that you’re not as smart as you think you are.
I want you to know that you’re not as handsome as you think you are. Nice enough face but very average bod.
I want you to know that you’re mediocre between the sheets. When it was good, it was because of me. You know it, I know it.
I want you to lead a life of misery.
You don’t deserve happiness.
You don’t deserve anything.
I want you to know that you were right when you said ‘I don’t deserve you’
I want your shame and anxiety to cripple your mind and body.
I want to see that fear in your eyes when you encounter someone courageous. You were always a coward. I want you to know that I really enjoyed calling you a coward….. and a liar.
I want all the people that you know to know that you’re fucking a 15 year old. Always took the easy route…. Pun intended.
I want you to know that I’m so glad that we didn’t have children. Otherwise I’d be stuck with you forever.
I want you to know that I dumbed myself down to your level.
I want you to know that I regret every single moment we spent together. What a waste of my time.
I want the years I wasted with you back.
I want you to know that all you’re good at is faking.
I want you to see me instead of whoever you’re with, every time you try to fuck. I want you to be afraid to ever have sex again. To even masturbate.
I want you dead.
You’re of no use.
I want your family dead.
Equally destructive and useless.
There’s too many humans on the planet. So I want all narcs dead. Small price to pay for the incalculable suffering you have created both historically and current.
I want your reality gap to haunt you every moment, every day. That is your Truth.
I want you to know that I won’t always feel this way. Unlike you.
I want you to know that I’ve won.
I’m free.
TT, OMG I bet that felt good! Thank you for sharing something so personal.
It did MB and I’m glad it was received in the right spirit x
TT, I was reading that and I was like, “you go girl!”
“Get it all out!”
Love this!
you just gave a bunch of fuel. The best revenge with a narc is to ignore.
TT
I love a feisty empath!
You don’t seem to realise that the more fuss you make, the more likely it that additional people will figure you out.
I LOVED READING THIS!!!
THIS WAS AMAZING: “I want to watch you lose control.I want you to lose.”
I need to remember that the narc wants me to lose control. I need to not play into his games. I can win this. we can win this. Don;t lose control. Ignore him and run. I need to run!
Great writing!
Thank you.
Hi HG, do narcissists ruminate on these thoughts? Do you actively go around thinking these things? Or is this just an exaggerated manifestation to express an abundance of feelings resulting from being hurt?
I think most people go out of their way not to hurt others. No one likes being hurt or devalued, it is a truly awful feeling. But if people express their opinions or hurt in a healthy, respectful way or debate in an open minded courteous way, I think both sides can grow.
I’ve seen in the brief time I have been here, that you are good at resolving conflict. You do not respond with anger or passive aggressiveness or disrespect. Indeed you are considerate and balanced and humorous. I really appreciate all these qualities in you, and I appreciate all you do that helps others with your writing.
Thank you ❤
It is more a manifestation of what drives the narcissist’s behaviour in terms of malice. Of course some of these thoughts may well be thought (and acted on) in the appropriate circumstances.
Thank you for your compliment.
Terrifying. This was terrifying to read. There are times where I wish I would just drop dead so I would not have to deal with my ex anymore. It is interesting as I always maintained we had a connection that I never understood. I always felt we would be linked forever and this was way way before I understood the Narcissistic Relationship. Reading this gave me chills! Amazing article HG.
What an insight! Equally scary and truly shows us the real dark side we are dealing with! I think mine is greater narc but can’t wait to talk to you again to confirm it. HG, thank you for all the work you do to keep empaths enlightened!
Perfect timing (and scary article).
Trying to figure out if this person is upper mid range or greater. In the midst of your book Sitting Target.
From what I understand both have the ability for a malice obsession but the greater will devote more energy/resources to it. Because I not only wounded when I escaped but exposed him to a very small group (three total but not sure he is aware of this) I’m wondering whether or not I should be concerned. NC firmly in place and burned a very big bridge to boot. Have not heard hide nor hair thus far but thought it wise to ask.
Wounded, I’m a proponent of HGs Narc Detector service. It’s only $50 and then you’ll know for sure. All my best.
MB
Btw, Sitting Target is amazing.
Just reading Fuel now.
XO
Thanks, HG, this brings great clarity.
I could never understand until now why he always believed that I was trying to hurt him.
Now I know again why it can never work.
This helps curb any future ideas of the idiocy on my part of pining for him, or feeling guilty for not being able to help heal him. Or to ease his mind by futily trying to get him to see any different from the way he does.
Great article, as always.
Dearest Tammy,
I see there’s a hurricane heading your way
Are you ok … will you be safe
My thoughts are with you all
Take care precious
💜
Luv Bubblesxx
Hi Bubbles, yes, hurricane, lol. If it’s not volcanoes and earthquakes, whe are prone to hurricanes.
Thanks for thinking of me. It’s just beginning to rain, but it’s on and off. We’re ok right now, and are prepared.
Big hugs to you, Bubbles!!!
Will keep you posted.
It’s beginning to downpour.
10:53 p.m.
Doing fine. No hurricane where I live. Yay!!!
Dear Tammy,
Thank you for that gorgeous … look after yourself keep safe lovely one
Luv Bubbles xx
Hurricane broke land and will be here in about an hour where I live.
Scary, but it’s weird, I’m not really afraid.
One thing on our planet that always wins is nature.