A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 79



Dear Narcissist,
Something was always off but I couldn’t for the life of me figure it out. For years I tried to improve myself and to prove to you what real love is about. No matter how much I did and no matter how much we had you could never be happy. There was always this vast inner void that could never be filled.
You were wonderful and charming in the beginning. Everything a single mother and woman would want. Helpful and caring a father figure who wanted a family. You were the easy and most obvious choice for me. My friends thought I was living a Cinderella story.
Everything was an illusion, it fell apart quickly. Since this was my second marriage I was determined to keep this mess of a marriage going. This was the biggest lie and mistake of my life. You do not comprehend love.  You did do some grand gestures along the way that kept me hanging on.
In the end you all but tore apart a family and all that I held sacred. It took me years to figure out this mess. All that is Holy meant nothing. You are loyal to no one not even yourself.
Even though I feel nothing now your greatest impact on me is that I don’t trust myself and my feelings. I second guess things over think things . I’m terrified of meeting another monster such as yourself.  Narcissists are the living breathing monsters that walk amongst us looking for their next empath to feed on.

8 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 79

  1. Teresa says:

    I share your story. To an absolute T. Like you, this was my second marriage. And, like you, I was determined to make it work. It didn’t matter if I brought home a six figure sum (which I often did) or sat bereft, broken and battered (which I often was). I left him 6 years ago. He has since moved to Melbourne (because I maintained strict No Contact whilst he was literally under my nose and stalked me). He hooked a woman a “crystal healer” (?) from Edinburgh, Scotland to also go with him: she left her three young adult children behind – to follow him and the dog he bought her…
    The picture attached to your post (the pleading outstretched hand disguising the monster beneath) is a terrific piece of imagery – because it is incredibly accurate. They act like broken people in need of our assistance, but they only lure us into their trap. I once read that if the devil had one single emotion he would want us to feel for him it is this: pity. Narcissists use this against us because they prey on our human traits: empathy – of which they know nothing – is key to them securing fuel.
    Pick yourself up, shake off their dirt and move into new (emotional/spiritual )territory. They won’t follow. They simply don’t know the way.
    Your soul brought you to this relationship to teach you deeper truths. It was no accident.
    Learn, love yourself and leap forward. They were a hopeless mirage. You, on the other hand, are authentically – and beautifully – human.

  2. WiserNow says:

    This letter describes well the broken trust, second guessing and overthinking of the victim.

    I’m finding that these lingering aspects are very difficult to overcome and “repair”. These after-effects stay with you even though you cognitively try to practice logical thinking and relaxed understanding.

    It seems that with every person you meet, these suspicious and mistrustful thought patterns are awakened again. It becomes your “normal”.

    1. Bubbles🍾 says:

      Dearest WiserNow,
      My sentiments exactly… excellent comment lovely one
      Luv Bubbles xx

  3. kiki says:

    Your heart is not open
    so I must go
    The spell has been broken I loved you so
    You were my lesson I had to learn
    I was your fortress you had to burn
    There nothing left to try
    There;s no place left to hide
    There is no more heart to bruise
    Nothing left to lose.
    There is no greater POWER than the power of Goodbye

    Learn to say GOODBYE

    Madonna ( Power of Goodbye)

    Perfect goodbye letter

  4. flutterbymorpho says:

    This is so uncannily accurate of my story. I could have written all that myself, every sentence! How do you know all this!!! Fortunately I do still have my friends and family . I’m still very much stuck due to finances..namely to get rid of the git I have to forfeit my treasured home that I’ve had for 30 yrs..which I’ve been stubborn about &isn’t worth enough to divide and buy a caravan home even. ( he never put a penny in) So I’ve counted my blessings for the last 6yrs & put up with it..finding sanctuary with hobbies & doing my own thing, but things have come to head now.. he just gets worse … if anyone has any tips to make him leave I’d be grateful!

  5. Leslie says:

    Narcissists are the black holes that suck in all light and take away the beauty of rainbows and hope.
    Empaths are the white holes that give light out and return rainbows and hope back to the world.

    1. Bubbles🍾 says:

      Dear Leslie,
      Ain’t that the truth
      Perfectly stated😊
      Luv Bubbles xx

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