A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 89

 

DIANE LETTER

I know who you are. I know what you are. Deep down, I’ve always known. I just didn’t have a label for it. Endlessly searching psychology books to find you. Are you bipolar? Are you schizophrenic? Or are you just plain crazy? No…..  you are something way more manipulative, sinister and calculated than those labels.

I know who you are. I know what you are. Of all the groups within your label, you can’t even be in the top group. Epic fail! Your attempt of having power over me has given me power over you, so you are even crap at that. Maybe a touch more work and you’ll get there, be careful though, you are getting older with each passing day. The abundance of supply that you once enjoyed is slowly drying up. Oh how you are losing your touch.  Explicit snapshots of ex’s messages plastered on Fb for all to see. A lady of good standing – your attempt for her to lose her job? FAIL! Just like you were smearing me to all that you know during your new fuel campaign. Your depressive state occurs more often now because your fuel is running out. Can you feel it dwindling away?

I know who you are. I know what you are. Yesssss… I now look back and enjoy knowing that I unknowingly ruined your plans of ensnarement of a new unsuspecting fuel source, but I know there were others. I felt you scrambling to regain control by disregarding my police threat should you ever contact me again. Did you really think that the promise of leaving me in your will would Hoover me into your twisted world again? Fail! You often used to ask me whether I was happy. My reply was always that women are never happy. Was this question an attempt of getting a hard one knowing what you were going to inflict? Sorry to have disappointed. Yesssss, I kept coming back for more like the true empath that I am,  thinking that I could somehow help you, but my thirst for knowledge turned the tables. I now enjoy knowing that fury burned inside you when your attempts to gain fuel from me started diminishing. I made it harder and harder for you to come back because I got so much more from you during those times. All the while, I gave you less. I knew you were filing away my disobedient incidents and would strike me down at any given moment, but once I knew what you were I found myself dangling candy in your face. Once I realised what you were, did you feel your power slipping away? I enjoyed watching you react in fury. I enjoyed you switching tactics. I enjoyed your realisation that my children come first – that everyone else came first .

I enjoyed your realisation that you no longer had any power over me. I enjoyed you repeatedly saying how Xmas was going to be fantastic because once you said this I prepared myself for it being the opposite. However, it WAS the best Xmas ever, because you were not there! Did you like my little boo hoo lol?  I enjoyed your attempt of projecting your illness on me. I enjoyed your recent attempt of sending a friend request under a pseudo name. I enjoy knowing that fury is building up in you because you don’t know what I’m up to. Once I knew what you were, I enjoyed you…. for a while….. you entertained me….but then I got bored….. You are sooooo unbelievably boring!!

I know who you are. I know what you are. You don’t know me though! You underestimated me! You underestimated the Narcissist in me! Do some research and you’ll find me! You are insignificant to me now! All because, I know who you are and what you are. YOU however, do not know who or what you are! This my dear sweet is POWER! You lose! LOSER!!!!

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16 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 89”

  1. Yes HG stating to a greater he is a low level narc—- would that piss them off?? They know they are messed up, but to lower their messed up to a common level– would it enrage them?

    1. Likely to be challenge fuel rather than wounding and therefore the Greater would need to assert his superiority in some way.

      1. Okay no point then! Thanks!!! I have no desire to supply fuel of any sort– wounding however would be nice!!

  2. Mine tried to convince me to stay married to him so if he passed away I could step in and take over his estate to take care of my step-son. My son is almost 18. Nah, bruh, get your mom to do it.

  3. You are most welcome candleglow2 and thank you for your kind words. I submitted my letter a few months ago, whilst still a little raw. It came from the heart. However, seeing it posted and re reading it made me feel ‘gawd, that’s quite brutal’. I did turn quite narcassistic, which I’m not proud of, but as they say you need to ‘fight fire with fire’. Of course that’s not what HG says lol, which explains the extremities and constant drama that I endured. Don’t mirror narcs lol! When the abuse erodes your feelings and love for them, that’s when it’s game on! I believe that this is the time that you can mirror and grey rock and get enjoyment from it etc because the playing field is ‘fairly’ level now. Of course it’s never really level because they come from a different place of effed up! I believe this is the time you will see them for the pathetic being they are, hence it will all become boring. It did for me anyway. Now that you are seeing the pattern, you will slowly become bored too. I’m wishing you good luck! My advice to you is get out! Although in some sick way I grew to mock and somewhat enjoy ‘the game’, it really isn’t worth it! Life is precious and should be explored for happiness and joy. You will never get this from someone that wouldn’t take the hit by pushing you out of the way of a bus coming towards you! Big hug and good luck to all in, vacating or in no contact of narc world!

  4. Diane’s a smart cookie. I don’t think HG has probably changed much from when he was a boy in his grandmothers kitchen, stealing cookies in the middle of the night, rather than helping out or being limited to only one. I remember those kids who had a chip on their shoulders, sour, angry, party downers. If you want to know if you’re a narc or not, think back to your childhood, that’s who you are. Nice really that narcissists cover it up with a more pleasant facade when they grow, and as long as we’re educated now to listen to the alarm bells going off, we can leave them alone.

    1. Dear Loving life .. I agree and im not proud of the narcissistic way I am being .. because the real me is a loving person as so many of us are at the beginning..I think its more a self protection thing and I do not take it too far as you say HG dont mirror them .. and I do hope I reach the place you are in soon .. and thankyou soo much for replying and for the hug .. your words have helped a lot ..love n hugs x

      1. Candleglow2

        Awwwww….. again, thank you for your kind words, love n hugs! You will ‘win’ the day your logic takes over your emotions and you end the relationship. I really hope you find that place soon. My emotions do still occasionally creep out, but I combat that by listening to HG’s vids. Narcs like to consume your life. Whilst still with my narc, I started to get a life outside of narc town. I started rebuilding the bridges within my circle that he burned. I never told him. He would of sabotaged it! As far as he was concerned, my life was totally boring when we were apart because I didn’t want him thinking otherwise. When something consumes your life 24/7, then emptiness and a huge void appears when that something is gone, even though that something was/is toxic. I recommend that you start building a life with things you enjoy doing. Get a hobby. Slowly start spending less and less time with narc and replace with more YOU time. When the time comes, it will help eradicate or reduce the size of that void. Stay safe! If ever you feel in the slightest bit of danger, please get out! Big hug and love x

    2. Nooooo….. not smart…. I look back and think that I was an idiot. During the latter stages I feared sleeping in his company. The one night, I was laying awake and I felt a gentle nudge. ‘Turn over, you are snoring’. Well I know I wasn’t snoring because I was awake, which is what I gently told him. I have never seen anyone jump out of bed so fast, race round to my side, pin me down and snarl ‘you calling me an effing liar’? Of course he insisted that I had ‘dreampt’ that I was awake lmao! Erm, nope, I was indeed awake thinking how gloriously peaceful it was until you nudged me, you freak! For a lazy berk, he sure did use a weeks worth of energy sprinting over to me!

  5. Pingback: A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 89 ⋆ NarcTopia
  6. This could have been my letter. Not overly done and straight to the point. Yes loser, you lose! If only narcissists could lose 🙄

    1. I guess one could look at it in many different ways….. who lost really? I didn’t lose anything because it was never mine lol! For a short period I lost a little sanity, but oh how I appreciate things now! I studied him and myself. He possibly was the best thing that happened to me because he opened my eyes. I’ve never been able to understand why I would run a mile with certain people. I’ve always felt a little weird around some people. A friend asked me my thoughts after I had a few dates with my narc. I stated that my narc was a leech and that something wasn’t quite right! I got totally shot down for my comment, that my standards are to high, hence I felt bad and proceeded in the relationship. Little did I know at that stage, I was right. But ohhhhhh, then that lovely love bombing kicks in……Little did I know that the friend that shot me down is also a narc! My world is a much happier place because of my narc. I wouldn’t have found HG! I don’t think that I would have been able to of dot the i’s without HG! I have ripped myself to shreds. Am I normal? Am I an empath? Super empath? Narc? Bitch? Lol! I’m fairly confident that I can cross narc off, although I am bothered that I predicted like a narc. Has anyone else felt weird knowing what’s to come? Did I lose? No! I gained! I will never mistrust my judgement again! I have a better relationship with my children and other family members. I value life more and I strive for peace. I am at peace….

      Did my narc really lose? Of course I’d like to think so because he lost me! That’s my ego though lol! He lost his power over me, so yes he lost. HG is a different species. HG seems content. What he does works for him. I often used to look at my narc and see his hidden battle. Maybe him fighting that knee jerk reaction or maybe dismay at fuel starvation lol, but never happy…. he will never be happy, so yes, I think that he lost. I wouldn’t swop his empyness for my feelings, no matter how many narcs cross my path. He lost! He didn’t destroy me!

  7. I just had a brainwave ( okay a touch of wine was involved- okay maybe a large touch) however—- If you have an upper or an elite, if you want to bust the balls ( no offense to the men here) — and you want them to know you know… What about this line. “You, my dear, are a low level narcissist.” Said with no emotion- would that not crush a higher or an elite??? They already know they are messed in the head- but to call them a ‘low-level one’??? Ladies, ( and gents) I am interested in your ideas here– and of course HG is always welcome to comment– we are only here on his good graces after all!

  8. What an amazing letter ! .. it made me think that I am actually getting somewhere since I have learnt from HG how the fuel works and have noticed that the more I read and learn from everybody the more strength I seem to gain ..the song ” No more the fool ” is perfect as i know what drives him ..and I know he needs me more than I need him!! ..I have proved it to myself these past weeks turning the tables with a haha here and a bye there and not responding in the way I used too to the little put downs or digs Oh good grief I think I am becoming quite the narcissist as I can even do golden periods ..the hurt does not devour me anymore ..I can breathe and know that within minutes he will be in touch wanting to make everything right between us … and I hope one day Like you Diane the feelings will go away completely and it will just become boring … Thankyou Diane and HG the only narcissist I have any respect for !!

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