Truth seeker. The pursuit of the truth. A noble ideal indeed is it not? It sounds as if you ought to be armed with your sword of justice and your shield of purity as you make your way through the badlands in order to find the truth. In fact, this is what you, as an empathic individual is unwittingly doing when you become engaged with our kind.

You are all truth seekers. The empath, the co-dependent and especially the super empath. You want the truth and you will apply your indefatigable spirit to acquiring it without understanding the toll that this misguided folly will have on you as whole. The need to be told the truth, to find it and to know it is a core empathic trait and as you would expect, it leads you into the trap of being ensnared by our kind and is heavily exploited.

Being a truth seeker is a further sin of the empath. Those who are empathic tell the truth, but that is because of that other empathic sin, honesty. The empath must always establish the truth of a situation, the truth at the heart of an individual and in so doing the allows them to reconcile their own truths.

The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.

Take, for instance, at the outset of the narcissistic dynamic, when we begin our seduction of the empath. He or she wishes to know that this wonderful person is true in their intentions and whilst the empath might be pleased that others talk about how enamoured the narcissist is about them, or how the narcissist seems utterly smitten, the empath must establish the truth form the narcissist him or herself. This of course opens the empath up to the charm, magnetism and allure of the scintillating narcissist as we are only too happy to tell you what you want to hear, to show you what you want to see and to do what you would have us do.

Oblivious to who you are dealing with (until otherwise educated) the empath will, through his or trusting nature and propensity to deal honestly with others, accept what the narcissist says and does. That amounts to the truth. The narcissist is skilled through his mirroring to reflect back at you your own truths and thus as you seek the truth, you are shown it. What you do not realise is that you are looking at your own truth, but since it is your truth and not ours, it is so utterly convincing. The adoration that you exhibit towards us is mirrored and reflect back at you. You wish to seek the truth of that adoration and what do you see? An adoration that is on the same par as your own – how can that then not appear to be the truth. In seeking the truth but looking for it from one who lies so effectively and defrauds with ease, all you find is your own truth, but you fail to recognise it as such and thus you feel you have found the truth and you are convinced that what you see is genuine love, is genuine passion and is genuine adoration.

You might liken it to a person who carries with him or her one half of a precious gem and seeks the other half. This person encounters a mirror, but does not know that it is a mirror and thinks that they see the other half stood before them since it looks so convincing, yet try to touch or grasp or find any depth or substance to this supposed other half and it will not be there. This is what eventually happens when devaluation occurs as you see the reflection and it dawns on you that all you are looking at is what you already had, being made to appear like something more.

Thus in wanting to find the truth and being shown your truth and not ours, you are utterly convinced as to the legitimacy of our love, passion and desire for you. Your truth seeking has made you vulnerable to our deceitful manipulations from the very beginning.

Yet, the matter worsens. Your pursuit of the truth leaves you vulnerable to perhaps one of the most confusing and bewildering aspects of the narcissistic dynamic, the need to establish the truth during devaluation. Once the array of machinations are wheeled out against you, the gas lighting commences, the lies, the insults, the intimidation and so much more is used against you, your quest for the truth has you stuck in the quagmire of our manipulations for a considerable time.

Firstly, you do not accept that this monster which now prevents you from getting a good night’s sleep, erupts at the slightest criticism, becomes demanding over apparently nothing, is the person who you fell in love with or who loves you. This is not the truth that stands before you. The truth must surely have been the person who first seduced you. You know that to be the case because you sought the truth then during the seduction, you saw it and you established it. It is that magical, wonderful, adoring person who seems to have vanished and in its stead you now see some grotesque version of the person you love. That is not the truth that shouts at you and belittles you, that is not the truth that turns each time you want to go out with your friends into a battle and that is not the truth that turns its back on you every night in bed. You want to find the true us, the one you saw and established during seduction and that need, that desire and that pursuit of this truth means you remain in situ, not escaping and allowing our abuses to rain down on you again and again.

Secondly, you experience the downside of our pathological lies during the devaluation. You were lied to, naturally, during the seduction, but that does not matter. You thought it to be the truth and you established it as so and besides, those lies felt good didn’t they? Yet know, the lies wound and hurt, they scar and mark, as we tell you lies about what we have been doing, where we have been and who with. You are no fool, or so you think, for you have followed us, had others report to you and you know the truth of what has been happening. Now you must establish that truth with us. You must seek the truth from our lips without you realising that we will never do such a thing since to do so would be to cede control to you. You have not yet grasped who you are dealing with and thus you remain unaware that we use lies to achieve so much of our aims. Those lies are used to make you dizzy, make you cry, make you exhausted and we keep on going and will not concede to the truth.

How many times have you heard yourself say:-

“Just tell me the truth, that is all I want you to do.”

“Please, stop lying, just tell the truth.”

“If you would only tell the truth.”

“I want the truth.”

“Give me the truth. Please I am begging you.”

Are those phrases and those of a similar kind echoing about your mind now?

Your desire to get to the truth, to hold the truth in front of us and get us to acknowledge it means you become drawn into the circular arguments, the endless arguments, the denial, the switching and the deflections which leave you shattered, mystified and spent. Why can he not see the truth when I do? The Toxic Logic of course, but you are not privy to such information at that time and so you gird your loins, climb back on your steed and ride out once again in the pursuit of the truth. It is no surprise that you then gallop into the swamp and become bogged down by lies, untruths and mendacity.

Thirdly, during devaluation it is often the case that you will turn to others to seek confirmation that the truth you once witnessed is indeed the truth and you can find it once again. You seek the truth from our coterie, our minions and our lieutenants. You go to them and need to ascertain that we are surely a decent person, who is loving and caring are we not? You walk straight into the facade and its false truth. You hear the answers which you want to hear, we are lauded for our generosity, we are praised for our kindness, we are complimented on our good humour, easy charm and reliability. There it is, you have sought the truth once again and you have found it, yet you fail to recognise it as the false truth and the false hope which it engenders. Instead of trying to escape from this devaluation, you remain in place, taking comfort from that the facade has told you and redoubling your efforts to find the truth with us. Thus, you remain and exhaust yourself tilting against the windmill that is us when you think you are slaying the dragon.

Accordingly, your empathic trait of being a truth seeker makes you vulnerable to our seduction and extremely vulnerable to the effects of our mind games, manipulations and habitual lying. Were this where it ends, but your quest for the truth has a further blow to administer to you.

The empathic sin of being a truth seeker heightens your susceptibility to the post escape and post discard hoovers. When we open those shutters and allow the bright, shining light of the golden period to fall upon your face you instantly see that the truth has returned, that false truth which you were shown what feels like such a long time ago. Yet, all is not lost, the truth has returned, it is in your grasp and all you need to do seek it out and embrace it is to return to our fold. By seeking our the truth once again you fall prey to our hoovers and our control over you is increased again.

The desire to seek the truth is noble indeed but seeking it from one who scorns the truth and takes refuge amongst deceit, lies and fraudulent intent can only result in this character trait of yours gaining the epitaph of being a sin of the empath.


  1. Yes, indeed & chuckle. says:

    Or correctly
    To a T

  2. Yes, indeed & chuckle. says:

    To a tee.

  3. Nika says:

    I wish to wish HG a Merry Christmas, but I need no reply. And, I’m not just saying that “I need no reply” thinking that he’ll reply to me, cuz I know that’s not how it works. Just Merry Christmas; I need not the same wish in return.

    In fact, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, including Clarece, Emotion Detective, and “Q”. I hope for no backlash from this. I’m having “one of those days” and feeling sentimental. I really hope my wishes to everyone do not cause an uproar. So, Merry Christmas!


    1. K says:

      Merry Christmas Nika!

      1. Nika says:

        😃 Thank you, K! 😃 It means a lot to me. Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁!

        1. K says:

          My pleasure Nika.

    2. foolme1time says:

      Merry Christmas Nika! 🎅🏻🎄

      1. Nika says:


        How sweet of you. 🎁 Thank you! I feel truly blessed! 🎄 Merry Christmas! 🎉

    3. shesaw says:

      Merry Christmas, Nika!

      1. Nika says:


        I wish you a very Merry Christmas, too! With so many kind wishes, I am already feeling such Christmas joy!

      2. K says:

        Merry Christmas, shesaw!

        1. shesaw says:

          Very Merry Christmas to you too, K!

    4. Bubbles🍾 says:

      Dear Nika,
      A very Merry and happy Christmas to you beautiful
      Have a joyous festive day …,create your own magic … you’re worth it
      Luv Bubbles xx 🤶🏻🍾🎄😘

  4. Better Call HG says:

    One of the most enlightening parts during my audio consultation with HG was when he explained how my emotional thinking hijacks this truth seeking trait to feed the addiction to the narcissist. What I thought was using logic to understand why/what happened in order to get closure, was actually just emotional thinking sabotaging my attempt at no contact without me even realizing it.

    HG, thank you for giving me the knowledge/tools to absolve me of this sin. Merry Christmas!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome, great name by the way and a Merry Christmas to you.

    2. GFR says:

      I’m new to this site-can I find any more on this conversation you had with him?

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Welcome. Better Call HG is referring to a personal consultation she had with HG. You can find that service in the menu bar. I Highly recommend it, as do many others here, for insight and information specific to your situation.

      2. Better Call HG says:

        Hi GFR,

        HG offers a number of options to retain his services that are listed in the toolbar (Date Defender, Narc Detecter, and E-mail/Audio Consultations). While all are extremely valuable, the audio consultation provides the benefit of speaking to HG one on one in real time over Skype. I second what NarcAngel said and highly recommend taking advantage of his services. HG listens and then gives you personal, direct, and accurate guidance on your respective situation. The price is extremely fair given that HG has the answers you would otherwise spend a lifetime looking for (and never finding).

        i know it may sound like I’m a shill, but as you read HG’s works, you’ll find the proof that he is the real deal. I was highly skeptical about paying to spill my guts out to a complete stranger whose blog I found online, but it was the best decision I’ve made.

        FYI, I’m a guy. Women aren’t the only ones who have to deal with these narcs. 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you for the endorsement.

    3. NarcAngel says:

      Better Call HG
      Apologies for using she. I do know there are many male contributors here and value their participation. It is a bad habit I have of defaulting to she and I will work on that.

  5. Original Overthinker says:

    Ain’t that the truth!! Sadly… x x

  6. Lou says:

    Hello HG. What does Matrinarc prépare or asks her minions to prepare for Christmas Eve ?
    I am genuinely curious, and a little drunk. If you don’t answer my question, that is ok.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Spikes on the roof, mesh over the chimney and armed snipers positioned around the grounds at Ice Station Zebra.

      1. kel says:

        Well Hell, I’ve tried to protect this woman since August, but messing with Santa is the last straw! Sic her HG, with my blessings.

      2. Lou says:

        For food, HG, I meant what is usually the Christmas menu chez Matrinarc. LOL.
        I see my question was notclear. It is the vino.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Sour grapes, hard cheese, crushed nuts, bitter lemon and vinegar wine.

          1. Lou says:

            Well, I guess you do not have to worry about calories and weight gain.
            You should take some of K’s special brownies with you. Offer one to your mother.

      3. Caroline R says:

        Ha ha!

        1. K says:

          Merry Christmas, Caroline R!

      4. Caroline R says:

        Merry Christmas K!

  7. Jelly Belly says:

    So relatable. I’m crying. Seeking the truth is why it’s so hard to let go and why it takes so long to finally do it. Thank you HG 🙏

    1. Original Overthinker says:

      Agreed… You go over every detail, good and bad. Wanting to know if any of it is the truth

      I think that is why it is more painful than a normal breakup, also people can’t understand why you just can’t move on. X x

  8. veronicajones1969 says:

    Hi HG you know the irony of this post right lol 😂
    Narcissists are name after Greek mythology of narcisis a beautiful young man who found his reflection in a pond and fell in love with his own reflection dived into the water to be with his reflection and drowned
    I think something named after Vlad the impaler ,would be me more apt for ‘ narcissists, legend says that he tortured his victims by Impaling them on a spike till they were dead and drank their blood in honour of his victory and so the beginning of vampirism just saying lol 😝 merry Christmas

  9. Kathy says:

    Sadly, I really needed to read this today. Thanks HG. The truth is hard to swallow but you do it so eloquently. I appreciate you and the quality of life you have given me.

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