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It is only over when you die or we die. Death is the only release from our grip.

I repeatedly explain this. I am not advocating that you kill yourself, but rather, I am reinforcing to you, that owing to the Narcissistic Perspective we regard you as our property. You belong to us and that ownership lasts until either you die or we die.

I know some people regard such a comment as grandiosity on my part, “Oh HG,” they say “That’s just you wanting so sound powerful.”

No, it isn’t. True, it is a manifestation of power, but it is a fact and if you fail to abide by this golden rule then you will not achieve and maintain your freedom from our kind.

If you think such a comment is just a manifestation of grandiosity and that your entanglement with the narcissist is over and will never be resurrected, then you are falling prey to your emotional thinking. You will lower your guard, you will engage with us again and you will be ensnared in some form. I have seen it happen repeatedly with my victims. Further, I have lost track of the number of times honest readers have stated

“You were right HG. He came back.”

Of course he or she did. We always will,  if the opportunity arises because you are our property, our appliance and we have invested in you. We want to capitalise on that investment time and time again.

You may state with conviction that this was the ‘final discard’ (such a phrase makes me roll my eyes) because there is no such thing. Those that declare that it was the final discard,  invariably state it from one of two perspectives – firstly, that they have done something so terrible to the narcissist that he or she would never dare to darken their doorstep again or secondly it is said because they want the twisted confirmation that it isn’t the “final discard” and the narcissist will return because the addicted victim wants the narcissist to return again.

Such conviction is dangerous. It breeds complacency. It makes you vulnerable. I will not deny that there are certain acts which are committed against that result in massive wounding. These acts invariably lead to your disengagement and our kind may well skulk away tail between legs and not be seen or heard of for some time. But it is only a temporary state of affairs.

There is always a risk we will return. It may be a very low risk or a very high risk, but the risk remains and a lot of the time, owing to naivety and ineffective (supposed) no contact regimes the risk is higher than you realise. Owing to the innate addiction you have to our kind and your inherent susceptibility to the fraudulent effects of emotional thinking, the risk is higher than you realise.

By understanding that it is never over until you die or we die ensures you avoid the complacency which results in ensnarement. I do not mean you have to live your life thereafter always looking over your shoulder, but ensuring that you do not adopt the mantle of arrogance that we are gone for good. By maintaining the mindset that there is always a risk, you will create a Logic Defence so that you, over time and with the adoption of additional techniques I can detail to you, automatically maintain your vigilance so that it does not feel like a burden.

Every one of my romantic victims has been hoovered by me. I do not draw them back into the Formal Relationship as I have a nomadic approach, but they have all been hoovered. One was hoovered after a 12 year gap.

Do not regard this golden rule as one of inducing fear and despair, but instead apply it so that you maintain your awareness and your guard is now lowered. By understanding and applying this rule, you are far less likely to commit the elementary errors that those disregarding this rule will do.

Our mindset says it is never over until death comes. Our need for fuel and other elements of the Prime Aims means that it is never over until death comes. Our ability to return in so many different ways means that it is never over until death comes.

By combining this golden rule with my material however you can ensure that it may as well be over because your education and application of your education means the risk of our return has been reduced and maintained at a very low level indeed.

Disregard this golden rule and your risk increases.



11 thoughts on “THE GOLDEN RULES OF FREEDOM – NO. 2

  1. Leanne says:

    So true HG.. they never leave! It’s like being stuck in a time loop. Lucky for me, I found you.
    This past year I have learned more about NPD and the dsm-5 disorders, than I ever knew. Enough to realize what I’ve dealing with most of my friggin life!
    Thank you HG. You have changed my life

    ~armed and prepared 😉

  2. Bubbles🍾 says:

    Dear J.G.
    I believe my “addiction” to the weasel and my mother has been purely “psychological mistreatment”
    The weasel had a different agenda to me, which I clearly laid out to him from the very beginning. They seem to have a “ritual routine” they must adhere to, such as….. love bomb, idealise, gaslight, devalue, discard…..then Hoover
    I don’t think I was the “norm” he was expecting, as I stuffed his order of sequence …it confused the bijeezes out of him …I didn’t go according to his plan …I think he “panicked” as just couldn’t handle it

    I’m actually a very spontaneous person … he never knew what I was going to do or say …. that’s why we were at loggerheads a lot, especially on the downhill slope … I didn’t agree with him on many issues and I’d express it
    “I” ….. ended the friendship (not without mandatory trauma that goes with narcs) ….not him … he was left speechless 😶
    Life without him and his motley lot, has been “heaven in a biscuit”
    Luv Bubbles xx 😘

    1. Bubbles🍾 says:

      Dear J.G.
      Having said that …l now look at the big picture and believe I ended up his “challenge” fuel … cos basically that was all that was left with this mentally challenged imbecile 2 year old
      Don’t “challenge” me you little dirtbag rooster …. you won’t win
      You did a lot of damage at the time you little lamebrain, but I’m bigger better smarter than you’ll ever be
      Whallow in your own self pity “weasel” because your brain stops there and your life will perpetually keep going round n round and never getting anywhere

      Same with my mum …. at the end of the day …. I’m the winner

      Thanks to you Mr Tudor….. you did it for me
      Forever grateful
      Luv Bubbles xx 😘

  3. Tom says:

    H G Tudor,

    Are you able to define hoovering? It seems it has a broader definition such as, anything that offers the narcissist attention.

    Most definitions seem to indicate there is an intention to resurrect a previous relationship? Is this not true?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      A hoover is primarily for fuel, it may be for residual benefits and it may also be to resurrect a previous relationship, but that is not always the case.

      1. Tom says:

        My ex wife just asked me to take my son for a haircut tomorrow.

        It is not my day to have the kids. I obliged.

        I came off the phone call, and thought Ive been hoovered.. lol.

        I have been hoovered again havent I, because she is testing my boundaries. Even though I feel im carrying out this action for my son.

      2. lisk says:

        Tom, if that’s the case that she hovered you, at least you know:

        1. You carried out the request for your son and not for your ex-wife.
        2. You can now work on preparing yourself for future hoovers.Come up with a plan on how to effectively reject/ignore hoovers, especially those that involve your child being used as a pawn.

  4. J.G says:

    Hello G.H Tudor..
    I’ve read your post, and I’m reading your book Adored and abhorrerd.
    I will keep in mind that my narcissist may return from death, I will be prepared with a stake to kill vampires. Although, I don’t know where I’ll stick it? Because as he has no heart…..
    Any suggestions?

    It’s just a little bit of my sense of humour.

    A question:
    It is true that the victims of narcissists are addicted to them. And I confirm it to you.
    This addiction can be eliminated. Or is this addiction produced by the psychological mistreatment received?

    Or we get to be like the alcoholic who rehabilitates himself, but there remain those sequels, the addiction, being able to relapse again with the narcissist.

    Damn it, it’s going to be that… I’m sure you’re telling me that if ….

    I would like not to have this sequelae/addiction.
    But looking at it positively that can also serve me, to remind me of the havoc that this addiction produced in my life.
    Since I can’t help it, it’s my RESPONSIBILITY to stop my narcissist’s feet if he ever gets in front of me. He will think that he has a lot of rights over me, because of the time invested. But I have more rights over myself, because I have learned to value and love myself.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is an addiction. It never leaves but can be readily managed by applying my work and personal fortitude.

      1. Elizabeth says:

        Of course it can be eliminated HG. Many of us have done just that. In most cases it requires dealing with the original trauma – usually from childhood – that caused the “addiction”. The so-called empaths almost always have core wounds that attract them to and keep them in the narc’s house of tricks. The narc is often just a symbol, a fill-in, for the primary abuser or another trauma focus. Until the original trauma is worked through, yes indeed, one must be very diligent, but once it has been thoroughly faced and processed, one is completely free.

  5. kel says:

    Freedom lies within ourselves.

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