Why Does The Narcissist Seem So Odd?



It is accurate to state that we operate in three essential states. There are varying degrees within those states, differing levels of intensity which are affected by factors such as the type of narcissist that we are, what we require from you, the level of empathic individual you are as well as several others. Nevertheless, there are three basic states. The first, as you would expect, is the golden setting. We are at our most wonderful, most brilliant and most loving when in this state. This always appears during our seduction of you and we will reinstate it from time to time and often when we hoover you in order to suck you back in and keep you hanging on to us. The second is the dark setting when we instigate our devaluation of you. This dark setting allows us to deploy our various machinations against you, a variety of different  manipulations as the abuse begins and we make your life particularly unpleasant. This requires effort and energy on our part and whilst we will be rewarded with fuel, a certain degree of application is required to use these manipulations against you. When we unveil our dark setting it is upsetting and confusing but often you will find some reason to explain our behaviour. It is usually the wrong reason but you will find one nevertheless as you like to understand and have a reason to explain why someone is behaving in a certain way towards you – you decide we are stressed, tired, hungover, in need of affection or perhaps you are unduly harsh on yourselves so that you, in that usual empathic manner, blame yourself for the behaviour we have meted out against you. Perhaps you did not listen when you ought to have done, perhaps you should have realised that we wanted to go out tonight, or that we would not want chicken for a second time this week.

There is a third setting and this often proves more confusing than our unpleasant dark setting. This setting might be regarded as a neutral setting, somewhere between the golden and the dark, but it is not. This setting is on the road to the dark setting and is closer to that than the golden. This particular setting is the stranger setting.

There will be times when we do not wish to apply considerable energy to our continued devaluation of you, but the devaluation must continue. It may not be as harsh, since there is no shouting, no violence, no insults and such like. It is not the golden period because we show no affection, we do not do things for you and we do not exhibit any of the charm that once flowed so readily from us. During this stranger setting we are neither wonderful nor awful but we behave like someone who doesn’t really know you and you are certainly left feeling like you are dealing with somebody else.

If you telephone us we will not dole out a silent treatment and ignore your repeated calls. We will not answer in less than a ring and speak to you with affection and enthusiasm, instead we answer and engage in a monosyllabic conversation. It is like drawing teeth. We confirm that nothing is wrong and you may think there is but we have not responded angrily or harshly. We have not accused you of anything, we have not labelled you in some way but the conversation is flat. It is as if our personality, whether golden or dark has vanished and left almost an automaton in its place. We function, we talk about our day but with little detail and certainly no enthusiasm. We ask questions of you but they are polite and perfunctory as if we are just going through the motions. There is no nastiness, no backbiting or sneering. It is difficult to process because it is not nothing, that cannot be the case because we are talking to you, but it feels like nothing.

We may call around to see you but it feels like an inspector has called around. We sit, we decline a drink that you offer us and we answer your questions without offering you anything much in return. Where has the charmer gone? Where has the monster gone? Who is this stranger that looks like us, sounds like us but is not behaving like us? You cannot accuse us of being unpleasant but it feels unpleasant because you are dealing with someone you do not recognise. Any questions about what is wrong with us are politely answered and you are assured there is not a problem, but we seem lifeless. You flatter us, compliment us and whilst we accept them there is no spark of interest, there is no response.

Why are we like this? Why is this being done? Why do we seem like someone else? It is as if we have been abducted by aliens in the night and replaced with a robot which is neither wonderful nor savage but is frustratingly something else. This third setting occurs during the devaluation period. It is not a respite from devaluation as that is the golden setting once more. It is clearly not the dark setting as that is the rolling out of nastiness and abuse. This third setting is an indicator of the calm before the storm. Whilst there are occasions where we might switch from golden to dark setting in the blink of an eye, this third setting is used when we wish to conserve energy in readiness for unleashing a particular savage next stage in the devaluation as we will move to the dark setting and crank it up to eleven. You are not cruising along being driven by fair winds, nor are you being thrown up and down buffeted by a storm, instead you are becalmed or moved along by a weak breeze. This is the time we are girding our loins, gathering information and plotting. The switch of functions to the organisation and scheming of what is to come, along with the intense outpouring of energy required to sustain the vicious intensifying of this devaluation means we adopt this near automatic state. You may not ever see this happen dependent on the nature of the narcissist you have become entangled with, but when you do, you should be aware that a storm is brewing and not just any old storm but a supercell storm of savage and damaging proportions. This is a warning.

8 thoughts on “Why Does The Narcissist Seem So Odd?

  1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    Dearest HG: I felt this way about the Narcissist sometimes. So odd. Like this photo that illustrates this reading. I love this photo selection. Also, it suggests that there are more narcissists around than many people realize. I like that they are wearing suits, as well. It is a reminder that many are successful and not the violent, dramatic and easily predictable sort. They could be in an elevator in that photo, going up and down the spectrum, or congregating for a second, in a hallway, before each turns away way to seek respective fuel needs.

  2. J.G THE ONE says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    I don’t think I was very observant of my narcissist. Well, after the golden period, little by little his character change. They were micro small imperceptible changes in the relationship. These changes, in appearance looked so normal, but each time it moved further away from the state of bonding.
    While I tied myself more and more, putting sentimental roots towards him.
    On the contrary, it took him away from me.
    Now, I understand that this was due to his fear of bonding and attachment, so as not to suffer.
    That my feelings generated in disgust, repugnance and rejection, when contemplating my own devaluation, making me inferior to the one, because of the feelings, that he woke up in me.
    Here the narcissistic problem is not solved by changing the narcissist who is a predator. A lion is a lion, even if I want to make it zebra.
    The narcissistic problem is solved in the first place by becoming aware of what they are. Going out of the emotional thought, and strengthening our defenses. Zero contact, so as not to nourish it with emotional attention. Ignoring it, forgetting.
    neglect, discard, spurn, reject, disregard, forsake, do without
    See and understand the world as what a chain is.
    trophic chain.
    The weed is eaten by herbivores
    Herbivores are eaten by carnivores
    Carnivores are eaten by the most acts in the human food chain.
    The empathic man is devoured by the narcissistic man an evolved being who does not eat meat if he does not feed on emotional energy.
    HG, what follows may seem strange but this gives me food for thought even though on the surface it may seem crazy and outlandish.
    And I ask myself: who eats the narcissist?
    There are more evolved beings that are intangible to this state or material plane and that feed on other forms of energy that narcissistic and empathic humans generate?
    The suffering of the world will be the food of other unknown beings, even more evolved?
    And this way of thinking scares me even more, because if the narcissist is an evolved form, who tells me that there are no others that are much more evolved and I don’t know it.
    Does MI6, the CIA, the government know?
    I have heard that there are some reptilians, governing the world.
    If this bunch of crazy conspiracies are going to be right.
    Who knows some questions make you think, you’re not a reptilian, are you?
    You remember a series of tv, which was called V, they were like us, simple facade.
    Look where I finished my comment today…
    You have to laugh and take things with a little sense of humour.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I liked watching V . I was on the side of the reptiles.

    2. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

      I liked V as well! And then suddenly, it was cut from the network schedule. But, maybe I can find it continued on cable or something now, at some point. The lead woman was perfect casting, I thought. Along with that ambassador for the “earthlings.“ ~~~~J.G., I once got in big trouble for not telling superiors about some difficulty I was having with some people that I was supposed to be directing on a project. I never said anything negative when I gave updates. I just took it and did my best. Someone on the project went above me and made a complaint about me. Not good in that sort of circumstances. I was pulled and dressed down or chastised for not reporting some of them. It was a bad experience for me. ~~~~My point is that in tough situations and in high positions, people that can turn on the cold and do what is necessary to get the job done are very much needed. Even though they have to report and dismiss and remove people and therefore hurt them. I am not good at that sort of thing, and now I know it. And, I have more respect for people that can do it. I am even thankful for them.

  3. Veronique Jones says:

    HG dose this apply to the way his minions act towards us or just the narcissist???

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The narcissist.

  4. FuelFactory says:

    Hi HG,

    Can the narc sustain the stranger neutral period with both the IPPS and IPSS at the same time? As the IPSS am i to believe the dishing out of the stranger or dark phase to me is a result of the narc offering the IPPS a respite/golden period and vise versa?
    Are my cycles with the narc dependant on what stage of the cycle he is in with his IPPS?


    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is possible that both an IPPS and IPSS could both receive this period together but it would be unusual. Far more likely is that your Corrective Devaluation is coinciding with the narcissist provide a Respite/Golden Period to the IPPS.

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