A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 12



Is your soul still stuck on the rat wheel you can’t get off, where there is a new beginning at 12 o’clock and by 6 o’clock the disappointment and devaluation begins, disengaged by 11 o’clock and it all starts again…………..and so on, and so on , constantly reinventing yourself using pieces of them all  ………


A never ending circle of lie after lie, sexual encounter after encounter…………………you have no full time job as quite frankly – who would employ YOU with your history?!  Do you not realise the professional sector you are in people actually talk to each other and know about this side of you?  They see the stupid, childish, self centred posts you publically put on your social media – because of course it is open for all to see.  Why would you breath, exist, do anything if there was nobody to watch?  What would be the point?


How is your harem of women on your social media darling?  I know you blocked me but yes, I stalk it sometimes just to see the new additions – nearly always single young mothers; grateful for a little attention.   I laugh and think ‘really?’ at some – but I know you have no long term (or even short term) plans for any of them.  I actually don’t get how you attract younger women – it has to be the 1am, 2am chats you hold when you wake them and ask what they are wearing and to send a photo of themselves as you send one of you.   And you then proceed to talk sexually in a most descriptive manner, trying to find boundaries so you know where to push at a later date.  Yes, you will target these and celebrate running through them.


I hate how you treated me.  I divorced so fast for YOU, moved my ex out for YOU, so we could be seen out and about together.  After all, the reason you told me we had to stay behind closed doors was because I wasn’t yet divorced, then my ex hadn’t yet moved out, then……………no more excuses, so you started the discard.   Then you suddenly withdrew that wonderful fantastic athletic sex, suddenly, all stopped.   Then let down arrangements one after another.  Then you went on holiday and with a woman I am sure of it, which was months ago now – but still…………………the daily text or sometimes texts….planting yourself into my mind.


And I also hate myself.   I hate that I loved you so much, I hate that I can’t breathe if I don’t receive that text, I hate thinking how intense sex was with you,  I hate seeing your comments to other women how hot they are and WOW !  I HATE THAT.


When I ask you about anyone – you lie, I know far more about everything than you think I do.


I know about your past, before me – and it is quite shocking I have to say – and you would wither and die if everyone knew.     I know how you tick, and I make no issue of telling you just that.  How you need the attention (fuel) to exist.  The new fresh female in your life where it’s all potent………and then it dilutes, and onto the next.  Otherwise your depression sets in and you then post to all about that to gain sympathy and attention.  And of course it reminds you who you have on your shelves that you can go back to squeeze a bit more out of – or a quick shag whilst the kids are at school.


You disgust me, I hate you.     And I need to stop loving you.


I found out last week that you have been seeing an older well off lady in the next town – it started whilst you were still with me!  But – was I ever really with you?  You hid me away from everyone – nobody knew I existed.  Your Dirty Little Secret.   I think you are still seeing her – but at what stage the narc cycle is at, I do not know.  But I told you I knew about her – and watched you panic over txt.   You denied it of course!  You wanted to know who? How? When? I knew………..NO I AM NOT TELLING YOU.  ‘Tell me’ you said – NO.


You are so fearful of me exposing this – will I message her?  Will I visit her? Will I put a public post out about it? Or shall I just message the harem and teach them all about your antics.  What a scandal that would be…………..!


I can’t tell you how much I want to meet someone that takes my thoughts from you, I hate that I think about you all the time – affecting my job and my life as a whole.  I now live alone and have all that thinking time.


I am smarter than you – and by god you know it.  I am always ahead of you and I have recently removed emotion from my digs and our conversations.  It’s amazing how much I run rings around you without that key thing.


I will win, because I am now winning.  You will always be a Mid-Ranger Narcissist, as always – never good enough to be the best at anything you do!



6 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 12

  1. Starscape says:

    “I can’t tell you how much I want to meet someone that takes my thoughts from you”

    You and me both Annabelle. Hope you find what your really looking for. Im told they are out there.. but with my luck it seems to be more like bigfoot, and santa’s little elves.

  2. Bibi says:

    I like Joanne’s idea. But that would require us engaging (checking online, etc.)

    “nearly always single young mothers; grateful for a little attention.”

    This sounds exactly like the Lesser I knew. Always targeting single mothers.

    He was 38 when he targeted a 22 yr old married girl (can’t really call her a woman) with a kid. She left hubby for narc.

    Was with narc on and off 3.5 yrs, breaking up, getting back together. They had a kid together.

    Now she dumped narc and is with new guy. I am pretty sure narc is single and sending dick pics at 2 am to women he meets on dating sites.

    He was able to get younger women because they are too naive to know what a loser he is. He is 42 now and showing his age–can’t get a ‘successful’ woman his own age. He can barely hold down a job and he lives in his dad’s house.

    I don’t think he will be able to land many more 22 yr olds, however. He also lives in a crap small town and people talk.

    I think the 20somethings with kids are in search for security and they think the older man will offer this.

  3. Trashcan Rage says:

    So she’s ‘removed emotion’ form their conversations that’s not quite winning is it? No contact is winning. Also, what *is* is with the narcs and their online harem’, er ‘female friends’? With my ex narc’s facebook page I got so tired of seeing their sad little constant likes, eager comments on every. fcking. post. that I just blocked the several of my ex narc’s harem. Little thirsty try hards. He’d laugh about it got quite a kick out of it.. I unfriended him and now let him lurk. Blocking him shows emotions. He doesn’t have public posts anyway. I laughed at this letter her rage at their harem online. It must be a thing with them!
    My ex narc tosser was fond of posting stupid youtube clips/song links on their pages too. The King of Link Posting. Loser- Def he was a pathetic mid ranger couldn’t even be a ‘Greater’ though he’d probably claim that he was.

  4. foolme1time says:

    Joanne, Some of us are still here. 🌻

  5. Joanne says:

    It would be great to see a “where are they now” update to these older letters…. Hopefully they are healed and have moved on and left this chapter of their lives sealed in the past.

    1. Lou says:

      That’s a good idea, Joanne.

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