99 Problems (But A Narc Ain’t One)






If you’re havin’ narc problems, it feels like he’s won,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one.


I got me some HG for my narc patrol,

Foes who want to make sure my fuel’s exposed,

Leeching critics that say she’s “Love Light and Laughter”

I’m an empath stupid, what type of facts are those?


If you were ensnared by this insidious enemy,

You’d celebrate the minute you be havin’ HG,

I’m like I was duped, he wanted my energy,

But I’m reading some Tudor in order to be free


Got blinded with the golden period they show,

They don’t play fair, it’s maximum seduction, so

They seize on my empathic traits

And when the red flags fly it’s just too late, f*****s


I gave all my love, I thought I had his,

But now I know he was taking the piss,

He set me up, pushed and he pulled, made me feel dumb,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


99 problems but a narc ain’t one

If you have narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


In a flick of a switch, he made me feel raw,

He gave me silence and walked off through the door

Got two choices, y’all, read some HG or

Stay confused and sink to the floor


And I ain’t trying to get that narc back,

Tried too many times and got no slack,

So I’ve opened the pages

And decided to nail shut that door.


‘Cause I’m still young and I shine even though I feel real low,

He wanted a mind reader, but I couldn’t know

What he meant, he wanted second guessing some mo,

I’m better than that, so the devil had to go.


Gaslighting and manipulation, takes the keys to my car,

Threatened me with weapons, pushed me real far,

I’m drawing a line in the sand, this time’s legit,

I’m preparing for departure, no contact, this is it.


Well I changed the locks, friends got my back,

And I know my rights, this fuel supply’s now flat,

I’ve sharpened my claws, I’m keeping him out

I don’t care if he cries, begs or if he starts to shout


He kept moving the bar, my self-esteem took the hit,

Enough is enough, I’ve took enough of his shit,

Well we’ll see how big he is when the fuel gets low,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one,

If you’re having narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


I try to ignore him, talk to the hand,

He can smear me to family, friends, all across the land,

I now know his type, the narc enemy

And I got my knowledge from HG


And the only thing that’s gon’ happen is I’m gonna be free,

He and his lieutenants are going down you’ll see,

Cause I’ve built my defences, I’ve got empathy

And best of all I’ve read all my HG


He can hoover, he can promise change, he can bring flowers instead,

But no more fuel for him, cos to me he’s dead,

I’ve built a wall, I’m staying out of his sphere

And for the first time in ages I feel no fear


All because he needed fuel and he targeted me,

But that’s all exposed and I will soon be free,

I know what he is and the game is done,

I got 99 solutions HG and a narc ain’t one (no contact)


99 solutions to make a narc get gone,

I’ve no longer narc problems, I shine like the sun,

I’ve got 99 solutions and the narc has gone (no contact)

17 thoughts on “99 Problems (But A Narc Ain’t One)

  1. Oracle says:

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👀😜😂 i am sharing this one! I will credit you accordingly and link back. This is the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. This is great!!!

  2. Ugotit says:

    I don’t care if he tries to be black green orange or blue I owe this man my life if I hadn’t married a narcissist got discarded found this website went no contact with the narc and read so much that I discovered after 40 something years my sister was a narcissist I’d never understand why my life has been a living hell for over 40 years now I finally decided nobody in my life gets to abuse again my sister called my daughter’s cellphone today to invite us to lunch I told my daughter to tell her she had the wrong number and hang up the next 40 years of my life are going to be narc free I’ve suffered so much excruciating pain in my life I’ll never let anyone treat me bad again even if it means my only company is a stuffed animal I won’t be on this blig much anymore and I know hg doesn’t give a shit but he truly saved my life

  3. Bibi says:

    This reads like a sad country song. HG and Kenny Rogers: a Duet. You gotta know when to fold ’em.

  4. J says:


  5. Ugotit says:

    This couldn’t have come at a better time I’ve been no contact from the narc forever now and today I finally went no contact with my sister who has treated me like dirt all my life I walked into my mother’s nursing home room today because it was my mother’s birthday and my sister was there the first thing she said when she saw me was how horrible I looked and how horrible my hair looked in front of my mother one nurse and the two woman my mother shares a room with she even turned to the woman in the bed next to my mother and asked her doesn’t her hair look horrible referring to me then she proceeded to open her laptop put it on my mother’s bed and turn on a musical at loud volume I asked her to please turn it down so I could talk to my mother and give her her gifts , my sister refused. I walked out of the nursing home after my visit blocked my sister’s phone number blocked her on Facebook and have decided I will never let her abuse me again I’m finished

    1. E&L says:

      Ugotit, Love your pic, love your hair, and to hell with your sister!!! Your post is very validating. I’ve been there!

      1. Leolita says:

        Love this poem

    2. Carol says:

      Well done, this is the right decision. (And reminded me of my own mother who critised my hair more than often [amongst other 1000 things]…) Absolutely healthy decision. The so-called nearest ones are often the cruelest ones because we are unter their constant watch.

  6. 19.19 says:

    This is my least favorite post of yours.

    1. Bibi says:

      I admire your honesty.

  7. Kristina MacLean says:

    Do you enjoy being a Narcissist HG Tudor?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I enjoy being me.

  8. Beccasmistake says:

    Why white boys shouldn’t try to be black

  9. Maria sultan says:

    Is there anyone who can help me in taking H. G’s private email session? I’m in extreme trouble and can’t think of any way to deal my narcissist. Please please help. I’m zero on resources to get that help myself.
    Thanks in advance

  10. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    😀😀😀 Hey NunyaBiz… it looks like HG has a little hip-hop in him, too! Now, if we could have an audio of him rapping this in his proper British accent; that would be fantastic.

    You are full of surprises, HG. 😎 That was great.

  11. Abe Moline says:

    When the night’s getting heavy and fear seems to win,
    When the narc is approaching, his darkness within,
    Remember your laughter, remember your light,
    Remember your beauty and prepare for the fight!

    Save for yourself your beauty and laughter,
    Save for your child the light that he’s after.
    With your logic dismantle your emotional thinker
    And then give him no contact and a straight middle finger!

  12. Claire says:

    I like how you lighten up the mood on a crap subject. Thank you for not being a robot!

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