5 False Promises


The promise is used by the narcissist repeatedly, whether through Promised Gain or Future Faking, it is a mainstay of our manipulations against you, but what are the five most often used false promises that the narcissist is using against you and what does the narcissist ACTUALLY mean?

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5 False Promises of the Narcissist

11 thoughts on “5 False Promises

  1. Laurel says:

    Hello to foolme and K..
    I sent replies to your comments but I think they have disappeared.

    Thank you for your words and kindness to reply. Made me smile. We have a great little tribe here!


    1. K says:

      I got it! And yes, we have a fabulous tribe here.

  2. Claire says:

    The hard thing for my friends/family to often realize (and me too—although under your guidance it’s improving) is that narcissists are rather canny emotional thieves. For instance, one could easily surmise a “thief” goes in a store and steals all they can carry. So, after illustrations of my spouse to those close to me it is easy and natural for them to assume he does the worst things all the time—the “all he can carry” mentality. It’s not that way. At all. Narcissists take little bites more typically and it’s hard to see as the impact is more insidious. A pair of earrings at a time. A skirt. These false promises among other attributes aren’t all at once even when the “opportunity” is there. It confuses people terribly.

  3. foolme1time says:

    Laurel, congratulations to you! It’s so wonderful to read how happy you are and that you have found peace. 🌻

    1. littleaussiekitchen says:

      Awwww thank you Foolme!
      It’s been going on for an embarrassing 4 years. I did a year no contact then he came back on the scene.
      At first I believed him, that he was sorry but within 24 hours things were up and down and the games were on. 2 weeks of hell.

      I cut him off, but I was a mess. I used to read a lot online, articles about hot and cold and silent treatments. I came across narcsite, and it was all I needed to finally realise what was going on. It was the biggest relief. And my fav thing was often to read the comments below the posts.

      It gave me a sense of safety and belonging. Because it wasn’t just me. I wasn’t alone. Plus the information about fuel, about the devaluation – it all began to piece together.

      I implemented a new no contact but I changed everything- closed my email, got a new provider and new number. I’d also moved, which he didn’t know about and I shut down social media too.

      It was necessary and so final. And after a time, I felt peace. Because it was over and I’d denied him access to me.

      Thank you for your words. Thank you for replying I wish you everything peaceful and happiness too. We are blessed to know what we know!

      I still read a lot here, it’s therapeutic. Vigilant! That’s how we learn to be. But life is better on all fronts. Happiness to you xxx 💫💜

  4. Laurel says:

    Hello HG and fellow tudorites!!

    I loved this post. Simple but powerful reminder of why you can never go back. The words can be so powerfully addictive. So beautiful to hear. But they are meaningless. A merry go round of false promises, hope and pain.

    I love the ‘red flag and black flag’ books too.

    It’s almost a year since full no contact. Nothing. I wake up with peace now and I’m happy again. Thank you to you all. This place is a true haven. And I’m especially grateful to it’s owner – the one and only HG Tudor!

    All the reminders help.

    Thank you for this one, today.

    Namaste x

    1. K says:

      Hello Laurel!
      Welcome, this place really is a true haven. It is wonderful to read that your NC is working and you are happy again.


      1. Lorelle Calder says:

        Thank you K!
        Such a unique and kind community here.
        Love to you 💫

        1. K says:

          My pleasure Lorelle Calder!
          This is a very unique community and most of the people here speak empathy fluently.
          Love to you, too

    2. Claire says:

      It’s a haven from which we are benighted from the emotional web of puzzling entanglements!

    3. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Congratulations, Laurel! You are my inspiration, I’m close to one year and can’t wait for it! It makes me happy to read your words, you sound so relaxed and in peace.

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