Me, You and Her



One is never enough for us. Two or more are required. When we commence our seduction of you and launch those missiles towards you bearing love, passion and desire, we repeatedly tell you that you are the one. You are the only one that we want. All of our life we have waited for this moment to be with the one, you. This singularity of number meets singularity of purpose. One is all that we want. We tell you this, we text you this and we do some repeatedly in order to put you on that pedestal. The world may as well just be populated by you and me. Nobody else matters. All that we want is you and you alone. The effect of such words makes you feel extremely special, revered and worshipped and it feels wonderful doesn’t it? Being the sole recipient of our attention, such wonderful, dedicated and loving attention is uplifting, joyful and magnificent.

Recently a commenter posted a quote from Robert A Heinlein which revolved around kissing. Essentially, this quote referred to the fact that when most people kiss they are not putting their all into it, they have other things on their mind, they might be worrying about work, they know they have to put the rubbish out, they are wondering what is for dinner and as a consequence that person’s kiss is nowhere near as it should be because that person has distractions. The person they are kissing does not have their total attention. There is considerable merit in such a proposition. What we manage to do however is make you think that nobody else matters, that you are the only person we are kissing, have ever kissed and will ever kiss. We make you the centre of our universe and you believe it. Yet the reality is that whilst we exhibit this singularity of attention on you, we have so many other people in mind. Understand that when you are with one of our kind there is never a time when it is just you and me. There is always you, me and her or him or them. Your dynamic with us is not exclusive. It never is. It is not your sole preserve. You are shared throughout the entirety of your relationship with us, from the beginning until, well forever. I do not necessarily mean that we are engaged in a sexual relationship with someone else when we are with you but the fact is that when you think it is just you and I, there is far more going on that you will realise.

At the outset when I am seducing you, I make you feel like the only girl in the world, however there will be at least two other dynamics ongoing. The first is that I will be embarking on a cruel campaign against your predecessor. I will be considering how next to provoke them and punish them so I am able to draw negative fuel from them. I will undoubtedly tell you about them as I explain how horrible and abusive that person was to me. What you are less likely to know is that I am sending them abusive messages, stalking them and organising various methods of manipulation to keep punishing them.

The second dynamic at the outset is the fact that I may also be working on another prospect as well as you. In the extremely unlikely event that you ever had access to my mobile  ‘phone and you looked in the messages you would see something like this.

“Message to You 19:48 – I cannot stop thinking about you. What have you done to me? I love it though. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow even though it is too long to wait for my aching heart.”

“Message to Her 19:50 – I cannot stop thinking about you. What have you done to me? I love it though. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow even though it is too long to wait for my aching heart.”

There may even be,

“Message to Her 2 19:52 – I cannot stop thinking about you. What have you done to me? I love it though. I cannot wait to see you tomorrow even though it is too long to wait for my aching heart.”

Notoriously greedy for fuel and wary of the effects of not having a supply of the same, we will ensure that we have other targeted prospects in hand. You may become the chosen one as my primary source of fuel but the others will not necessarily be discarded. They will be retained as “friends” who rank as high producing secondary appliances, continuing to supply me with fuel. You think you have me to yourself. Of course that is the impression that I will create but you are sharing me with the others who will be kept ready to replace you should you start to fail in your production of fuel.

During the golden period it may seem that there is just you and me but I will be keeping other prospects warm and extracting negative fuel from one or more predecessors in the meanwhile. Then, without warning you find yourself being devalued. You have your suspicions that we are playing away. Indeed, we are as we use these secondary sources that we have kept “warm”. There will be others as we find additional people to draw into our network as we play them off against you. You will find you will be compared to these people, to friends and family and always found to be wanting as we press the devaluation against you. After this horrendous time, we will cast you to one side with a callous discard and somebody else has replaced you. How did that happen so quickly? How were we able to move with unseemly haste and find someone else who we now declare our love for? Easily. They were waiting in the wings all along.

Now disengaged from you will find you are still involved in the dynamic as we play you against your replacement. We will keep trying to draw negative fuel from you and then suddenly hoover you back and make you the apple of our eye again, as your short-lived replacement is cast aside. A period of vacillation may follow as we lift you up and crash you down. You are sat on one end of a see saw, as you go up, she goes down and vice versa. We stand in the centre, straddling this see saw and gobbling up all the fuel that is pouring from you both.

As our primary source you will always find that there is somebody else involved in the dynamic of our relationship. It does not end there though with the person who is our primary source of fuel. This addition of an extra player in the game happens throughout all our fuel gathering activities. We set family member against family member, our brothers against our sisters, or one parent against another. We treat one child as golden and the other as a pariah as we have them compete for our blessing and affection. We pit one colleague against another as they vie for that promotion which lies in our gift. We have friend fighting against friend in order to spend time with us at the expense of the other. We enter the online realm and have people backbiting, clashing and competing all through a few keystrokes on the keyboard. We can never be satisfied with it being just you and me, we always have to involve others and that involvement cannot be harmonious. There must be competition in order for the fuel to flow. Never think that we are dedicated to just you, our need for fuel does not allow it. There is always someone else despite what we may tell you. If you were ever able to ascertain the full extent of our machinations, schemes and plans you would see so many lines radiating away from us, connecting us to you, to her and to many others, with lines running between the unknowing and knowing until it looks like an extremely complex organogram on the wall of an incident room in a police station.

It can never just be you and me. There always has to be another.

16 thoughts on “Me, You and Her

  1. An says:

    Sorry for my question but what is ET?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Emotional Thinking.

  2. Abe Moline says:

    This is a very important thing to grasp, I think… Your ET might scream – it’s not true, at least for a while I was the only one, for sure that night when we were together in bed I had her entire attention? NO! Remember she was checking her phone? Yes… she did… Never, never just you (me).

    If you think exclusivity is important for you, if you are at least a little bit of jealous person – than you must always remember this post. It helps clearing up your thoughts. This is the cruel reality, no bullshit, no pink glasses. Accept it and move forward.

    1. lisk says:

      Agree 100%, Abe.

      This post helps me make sense of so many things, so many suspicions that I had in the beginning, middle, and end.

      And here come those flashbacks! Painful as they may be, they are helping me process the reality of the past 8 years of my life.

    2. foolme1time says:

      This time Abe I am agreeing with you 💯! I think today I will go back and reread the previous comments you have written. My ET is at a low right now. This is a good time for me to look at things logically. 😊

      1. Bubbles 🍾 says:

        Dear foolme1time,
        Are you ok ?
        Can we help?
        Are there triggers when your ET goes low?
        Thinking of you gorgeous one 🤗
        Luv Bubbles xx 😘

        1. foolme1time says:

          Sweet Bubbles
          I am fine, thank you so much for asking. Thank you also for offering to help. My ET being low is a good thing. It only means that I am applying logic more, I guess? If there is a trigger Bubbles I have no clue what that might be, I think it is simply time for me to do so dear. My ET will be something I will constantly have to work on the rest of my life to keep under control. Thank you again Dear Bubbles for your concern! 😘🥰

          1. blackunicorn123 says:

            I hope you are doing ok FM1T, I hate it when ET is predominant, I feel very vulnerable. I use logic too to batter it back down and into the box. It works, but it’s draining.

          2. foolme1time says:

            Im doing ok. Thank you for asking.
            I battle ET constantly, I have just started being able to control it. You are correct when you talk of it being draining ugh. I find it a bit odd not feeling that over abundance of emotion running through me as it usually it does, it’s really quite nice. 😊
            I like when you comment BU, I hope you are able to follow through with consulting with HG. I know he can help you, sometimes I would doubt that he would be able to help me because of all the damage I have, but he didn’t give up on me and so I couldn’t give up on me either. It’s a slow process, however it is a process and it’s working! You deserve peace BU, you deserve to live your life happy and without fear. Thank you again for your concern sweetie. 😘🙃

          3. blackunicorn123 says:

            Thanks FM1T – the last year has been much better for me, but it was all consuming for two years for me too….to the point I found myself with nothing to think about once I forced myself not to think about him!! He had become so woven into the fabric of my day it was quite shocking! E bloody T!!
            I’m glad to hear you haven’t given up on yourself. It is worth it in the end, it just seems a long and impossible journey sometimes, and one without a map too!! I try and congratulate myself sometimes, to acknowledge how fat I’ve come. I think you need to do it. It’s a positive experience from a bad one.
            I will consult with HG again, I’m just gathering my thoughts. It’s a bit more complicated than I’ve explained on here so I need time to get it down properly.
            Thank you FM1T 😘🤗

          4. foolme1time says:

            I understand the all consuming. He was the first person I thought about when I woke up and the last person I thought of before I slept at night. Now I put my phone away at night, I know I will not hear from him ever again. I have changed my routine to not include him. It is a long journey but one that I am positive is worth it. I do one step at a time and take my time. I always write down what I would like to talk to HG about before the consult, and 50% of the time I start talking and never once look at the questions I have written! 🤣 You deserve your freedom and to live your life to the fullest! 😘🥰

          5. Bubbles 🍾 says:

            Dear foolme1time,
            I’m soo relieved to hear you’re fine my lovely one
            Im certain I will be joining you on working on my ET for the rest of my life as well
            Perhaps we should form a club … hehe
            So happy your ok
            Hugs to you my precious …. please take care
            Luv Bubbles xx 😘

          6. foolme1time says:


            Hugs to you also Bubbles! Take care Dear Bubbles!! 😘😘🥰

      2. Chihuahuamum says:

        Hi foolme…i hope youre feeling better ive been there so many times with the ET. When ive disengaged ive had that panicky feeling like what if he loses interest and will stop hoovering but thats what you want! Its not what ET wants tho. Its a lot of withdrawal too from the dopamine surges and that takes time and being away in all forms from the addiction. Withdrawal can be hell i know! Youre doing awesome! Stay strong and on course 🙂

        1. foolme1time says:

          I believe I have finally had some kind of break through! I did have an episode this past weekend but I believe it was a combination of events taking place right now. As far as withdraw, I believe now I have had enough of all of it. I have short and long term goals and I am going to follow them through. I have had enough of not believing in myself and the strength I know I have inside of me. I know at times I will still struggle and when that happens, I know I have all of you right here to turn to! Thank you so much for your words of support. 😘🙃

          1. Abe Moline says:

            Haha, well done FM1T!
            Happy for you!

            Stay in this place of strength and build upon it, make it even stronger. When you go stray, you’ll know where you have to return inside yourself, and it will get easier every time.

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