The Hateful Eight of Hearing

When you speak, this is what we actually hear. We hear the words but the effect differs. You say the words in bold but beneath is what we really hear you say to us.

  1. I Love you

 I admire you. I adore you. You are a god. You are a prince among men. Nobody does it better. You are a king, an emperor, a champion. You are everything that I have ever wanted. I would wither and die were it not for you. I want to be with you forever. I want to worship beneath you and give thanks minute by minute that someone so scintillating, so special and so brilliant as you would choose me to be by your side. I will give you sweet, potent and invigorating fuel now and forever. I am bound to you now, do as you will.

  1. Please leave me alone

Stay and punish me. I am disloyal and a traitor. I have wronged you on so many occasions and I deserve everything that I get. I am weak, pathetic and disgusting and I am amazed at your generosity in remaining with me. I have failed you and I am so unworthy I wish to crawl into a hole and die there but I ought to face you and accept my punishment because my treacherous behaviour deserves nothing less. Continue to berate and denigrate me and reinforce why you are so much better than me.

  1. Why are you doing this to me?

 I am challenging your right to treat me like this because I am suggesting that you are not entitled to do this. I am making it plain that you are not superior to me and you have no basis for behaving like this. I am trying to make you feel small and weak because I am disloyal and I am always looking for ways to stop you getting fuel. I am a traitor, a fifth columnist who is seeking to bring you down and topple this empire that you have created. I am criticising your entitlement. Do you hear that word you hate so much? Criticise. You need to carry on and punish me.

  1. What would you like for dinner?

 I am trying to irritate you by suggesting that I do not already know. I am doing this because I am suggesting that I do not think ahead, plan and second guess to cater for your every need. Do you know why I am suggesting that? Do you know why I am pretending that I do not already know? It is because I want to strip you of your special and superior status. Yes, this is another of my seditious acts which is designed to make you think and feel that you are losing your power over me. It’s working isn’t it? You are feeling weakened and you are wondering what other treacherous acts I will engage in. Why don’t you lose your temper and throw something about? That will show me.

5. I think the blue shirt looks better on you

I am telling you that your choice of the red shirt is a bad one. Do you know why that it is? It is because you know nothing about clothes and fashion. In fact I am going further than that because I am actually telling you that you know nothing at all and I know better than you. Yes, can you believe it? Little old stupid me knows more than this supposed god that stands before me. How does that make you feel now eh? I love doing this. I love to challenge your choices and make you appear stupid next to me, a person who is apparently useless. Does this hurt? I thought so. That is why I do it because I am trying to destroy you with comments like this. I think you should storm out of the room and leave the house for a couple of days so I know who is in charge.

6.There’s something wrong with you

 I am on to you. I know what you are. I know there is something rotten in the state of you. You are warped, evil and not the person you make out to be. I am not fooled any longer by your showmanship and I am going to tell everyone about you. I know the truth of what you are. Oh I know, how can I know when I am the one who has the problem. I know that I’m really the crazy one and I do nothing but make your life hell, but I am trying to brush that under the carpet by suggesting that you are the oddball, the maniac, the fruit loop, the kerazy wild-eyed freak. How dare I do so when I am the one that is obviously ill and needs help. I know I do but I like to play this game with you but it’s okay, you should go and tell everyone else what I am doing again and why not arrange for me to see a doctor too to give it a real ring of authenticity?

 7. Please don’t leave me

I am weak and pathetic and useless. I should have known better than to fail you. I will do anything, anything at all to make you stay with me. You can treat me even worse now. Do what you will to me, I am nothing compared to you. I should be punished for my transgressions because I am so pathetic compared to your greatness. I am nothing without you. You have given me everything and like a spoilt child I have been so ungrateful but I need you. There I have said it. I need you so, so much because you are fantastic and you do so much for me and I am just a horrible person. You can treat me like dirt because that is what I deserve but why not ensure I get the message by walking out and staying away for several weeks without ever getting in touch. That should show who is boss shouldn’t it?

8. It is over.

 Well I have said that but that is not what I meant. I meant I am an idiot and I say things which I do not mean because let’s be honest, there must be something wrong with me if I want to be apart from someone like you, someone so special, kind and wonderful who has only ever tried to do the right thing and someone who has only ever had my best interests at heart. I don’t mean it really. I am just doing it for attention, but I need you to tell me why I should stay and it would be great if you cried a bit too, just to make it look like you are really upset by me telling you it is over. Go on, squeeze a couple out to show me you really are human and can be hurt by my horrible threat. Oh and don’t be concerned, I know you finished it first.

10 thoughts on “The Hateful Eight of Hearing

  1. K says:

    Words are fuel. Your question is challenge fuel and, although you are providing fuel, you are trying to hold him accountable for his actions and this makes him feel a lack of control (the narcissist will not be controlled) which is countered by a manipulative response. If you listen to TTI Friday # 5, it explains wounding and challenge fuel very well.

    1. Bonnielou says:

      Thank you K, I will have a look. This was the first time anyone had ever given me the silent treatment and it was almost like instinct that, for a good half an hour, I didnt react or ask him any questions. I just stayed quiet myself whille he glared at his computer giving me the odd flick of his cold angry eyes. I only asked that question as my taxi arrived to leave..he still gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye

      1. K says:

        My pleasure Bonnielou
        Based on your comment, I suspected you didn’t give him a good dose of fuel. Ha ha ha…it looks like your instincts kicked in and you knew not to react or ask questions, all fuel. Very good! His ST was indicative of cold fury; is he a mid-ranger? If you continue to ignore his STs then he will switch to a different manipulation.

        It looks like the goodbye kiss was a benign manipulation to keep you confused and in situ. He isn’t letting go. If you haven’t already, read: The Incredible Sulk, that article is very good.

        Use the search function on the upper right and type in: Sulk, to pull it up.

        1. Bonnielou says:

          Thanks K 😊Through reading HGs books, I had worked out that he is a Mid Ranger. I think I might be a Super Empath as I was never going to let him get away with treating me like I waited patiently, got him back on side, then bang!! Got my revenge via 3rd parties (Thanks again HG for your great advice in your “revenge” book) He didn’t know what hit him! ha ha!..and he didn’t really know it was me as he had two other appliances on the go…so the game goes on. He had to create a new Facebook profile when he got exciled, but he hasn’t blocked me on it. I was blocked on his old one but I will never contact him ever again!!😂😂💪

          1. K says:

            My pleasure Bonnielou!
            Ha ha ha…I had a feeling he was a mid-ranger; they like to use the Silent Treatment a lot! You may be a Super Empath, after all. Excellent job with the Revenge and the NC. It looks like you have your Emotional Thinking (ET) under control and your Logical Thinking (LT) at the fore. Keep up the reading because there is a possibility he may hoover you. Good luck!

        2. Bonnielou says:

          I’ve just read “The incredible Sulk” and now I am really curious 😂😂The article said, his ST would have been brought on by his envy of my prowess in something…that something was a sexual act, that I don’t think he had experienced before😳😂😂😂Ooops!!

          1. K says:

            Ha ha ha…maybe he has a Madonna/Whore complex.

  2. Bonnielou says:

    What about “Is this the way its going to be from now on?” after the first silent treatment, but giving him no reaction fuel🤔

    1. K says:

      TTI Friday is on YouTube and the challenge fuel question begins at approx. 3:51 minutes.

  3. empath007 says:

    #4 and 5…. just…. wow. Relax a little.

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