A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 55

Dear Reverend Narc,

You think that you have them all fooled, don’t you?

You charm the deaconesses every Sunday with your yellowed crooked smile, shake hands with the deacons and fellow pastors, act as the worship leader, prayer warrior, guest greeter, offering preparer. Give the eulogies at funerals, officiate at weddings, teach Bible study and Sunday School, dance on the altar, play for the choirs, close your eyes and raise your hands to the Lord.

What a farce! What a fake! What a fabricator! You will burn in hell in the hottest section. You forget that you CANNOT fool God, who knows all about your duplicity, your lies and your masks! He knows that I was the fourth wife of your six marriages. Two ex-wives were “hoovered back” and married you twice! Really?  You are no doubt working on wife number five, marriage number seven since I have gone “No Contact” for almost one year now.

I fell completely head over heels in love with you in such a short time because you “rescued” me after a disappointing marriage, and it was so easy for me to love you because you were my first boyfriend whom I adored at sixteen! I never knew what a monster you were (even then), and still are. I only found out about what you truly were after I divorced you following two and one half years of hell on earth.

I will NEVER FORGET that demonic stare, that narcissistic rage, that irascible fury! You were such an abusive excuse for a man, husband and father! No wonder all of your other ex-wives left you for other men, and your daughter from marriage number four wants absolutely nothing to do with you.

You cursed me out, threatened to burn my parents’ house down because my mother offered my ex somewhere to live on a temporary basis, had me in tears innumerable times (I’ll never forget that time in Atlantic City on the beach at 10 ‘o’clock on a Sunday night when you told me if I really loved you I did not need to talk with my mother about moving to Afghanistan if you got that civilian position, or right before Christmas 2011 when you made me choose between my mother and you  as to where I should spend Christmas Day?) On both occasions I was sobbing like a child who has cried so hard that they can’t seem to catch their breath.

You ruined birthdays, holidays, vacations, trips to the zoo, even our honeymoon when I had the audacity to ask you about a tour while you were counting our spending money! Do you remember that Sunday morning (right before church) that you got angry with me because I had forgotten to take the double lock off of the hotel room door?  We were on our way to church. Do you remember that Sunday morning when you yelled at me on your front steps because I defied your mandated order by not agreeing to be dropped off at church without you? Again, we were on our way to church.

I thank God every day that I gathered the strength and the courage to escape from you – Satan personified. Have a nice life, and look forward to your eternal damnation in Hell Rev!