Sex and the Narcissist

No holds barred and no strings attached

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform

Read about how the narcissist views and uses sex and how you are central in that

US e-book here

UK e-book here

CAN e-book here

AUS e-book here

Also available in paperback on Amazon

This is classified as adult material and search filters may need adjustment.

78 thoughts on “Sex and the Narcissist

  1. Samantha says:

    Wow, absolutely incredible information in your book on sex, HG! You are the best on every topic! I never would have suspected a Narc would view sex in that way. Absolutely incredible! Thank you for the eye openers. You save us empaths at every turn. Questions: If a Narc became impotent for some reason, say from an accident, what would the impact be on his psyche, his efforts to get fuel? And would he admit to being impotent?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It would depend on what cadre he is. He may not rely on sex so greatly with regard to gaining fuel and therefore it would not present such an issue he may even (Victim Cadre) turn it to his use. There may be reliance on viagra etc. The narcissism would of course blame the impotence on the accident etc and use it in a way to escape accountability and counter the effect (to the extent it has an effect -see early comments) through alternative manipulations.

      I am pleased you enjoyed the book, I trust you shall leave a positive review?

      1. Samantha says:

        HG, There was an actual accident, a very serious one that involved a long stay in the hospital and left scars. Viagra didn’t help due to the injury. But then when devaluation arrived, he acted as if there was no problem in that department. (Now I can attest there was a problem, definitely.) I believe he’s a mix between Lesser and MRN. On your book, I only got to read the “Look Inside”, which was astounding, but I promise to purchase it next month, definitely. I’m on a tight budget. And I will definitely leave a 5-Star Review. I’m a writer too, so I know how important Reviews are. You certainly deserve GREAT Reviews. I’ve never seen anyone write so much and so in-depth as you! You seem to be a workaholic. Are you? Nothing wrong with it at all. I was too before health issues.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you. You cannot not afford to read it.

          1. Samantha says:

            Absolutely, yes, I will get it in about one week! And I will let you know when I leave the Review. I want to read many of your books. I’m a bookworm.

          2. Samantha says:

            Hi HG, I just ordered the printed edition, so I’ll get it in about one week. I will be sure to leave a Review.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Jolly good.

  2. njfilly says:

    Dear Mr. HG Tudor,

    I have finally finished your book. It was excellent. Thank you for writing it. I will be purchasing more.

    I have some questions for you if you could answer or direct me to the related articles. These questions are relative to me.

    What about women who can have sex without attaching to their partners? Would you say they are narcissists, or can empaths also have ‘no strings attached’ sex?

    Also, at what age is narcissism usually fully developed? Is it possible to develop narcissism at a later stage in life, or say after a traumatic experience?

    Thank you for your time.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for reading, do leave a review.

      1. It is an indicator.
      2. No they would not unless there was a temporary reduction in empathy.
      3. In early childhood, so the answer is no.

      1. kaydiva3 says:

        HG, isn’t it possible for two empaths to have “no strings attached” sex if they discuss it and both agree that that’s what it is, to be sure no one gets hurt?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Empaths would not seek NSA sex in such a way.

          1. Lorelei says:

            I swear you are trying to ensure no one on this planet ever has sex again. Holy f*^%!

      2. njfilly says:

        I think I need to contact you directly. I am hoping that your intelligence and insight into people can give me the answers that I need, assuming I am able to formulate the questions. I am searching for answers about myself and things I have endured. I am not currently involved with a narcissist, but I think you may still be able to help me. So I have to try. I have to start somewhere. Has anybody ever taken the Narc detector on themselves?

        I understand that you don’t know or care who I am or what my name is, but I have some paranoia due to things I was involved with in my past. I just read through your consultations section. All information remains confidential? I assume you will have to know my email address in order to respond and provide answers? Do you already have access to my email address from my comments on this blog?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You can easily create an anonymous email address although as you anticipate I already know your email address owing to your comments on the blog but that is also treated in a confidential manner. I look forward to assisting you through consultation.

          1. njfilly says:


  3. strongerwendyme says:

    I found a way to read the chapter about “What are we thinking during sex” without distraction. I imagine John Cleese reading it out loud as one of his Monty Python characters. Makes it more amusing and takes the distraction right out of it. 😉

  4. empath007 says:

    The last thing I need to think about is sex and my narcissist… definitely deprived in that area right now. It’s not a fun time.

  5. Caroline R says:

    An engrossing and ground-breaking book on love, sex and relationships from respected authority on NPD, HG Tudor. You’ll be catapulted into another realm where things are not as they seem, and once you’ve been there, you’ll never see the world in the same way again.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      HG approves.

      1. Lorelei says:

        You saved me from a hotel interlude (by the way) when I first read this! Give me another six months and I’ll join the Catholic Church as a nun in full costume!

        1. NarcAngel says:


          As long as you don’t make it a habit.

          I had to. It’s a sickness.

          1. Lorelei says:

            Hotel interludes? A habit? Haha—I’m afraid the behavioral tendency isn’t far from an innate habit of mine! Tempering it with good judgement is a better initiative but one I’m in no way prepared to handle. By far. Unless it’s Idris Elba—in his case he needs very up close observation to determine all aspects of his character.

          2. NarcAngel says:

            Jesus. A Nun’s “costume” is called a habit. Focus!!

          3. Lorelei says:

            I know—it would have been too many uses of the word “habit” in one comment! It crossed my mind! Haha

          4. foolme1time says:

            Welcome to my world NA! 🤣 She does this all of the time. 🤣🤣🤣😘

          5. Lorelei says:

            Haha! I am something on some days..

          6. foolme1time says:

            But I wouldn’t want you any other way!! 😘💞

        2. Kiki says:

          I’ll join you 😊the Empathic Sisters of Tudor

  6. Joanne says:

    A must, must, must read. Will loosen the emotional grip significantly.

  7. Bibi says:

    I got it. Still need to read it. I am saving it. Once I do, I will surely share my impressions. I need to be in the right mindset but I am certain I will enjoy it.

    As a side note, I still can’t believe that 50 yrs ago today humans were on the moon.

    1. Lorelei says:

      Bibi—it was effective enough to completely paralyze my ability to have any casual adult relationships because I’m disgusted by being objectified by a lack of authenticity at this point in life. Seriously. I could easily be sleeping around discreetly on occasion—I’ve done it my entire life. I just can’t do it now and it’s extremely healthy by comparison. It’s given me a huge opportunity to shift the focus from sex as a quick fix to getting really real and having internal dialogue.

    2. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Bibi, you haven’t yet? I lost my narc virginity with this one.

    3. Renarde says:

      Just seen this Bibi!

      I know! That weekend I was at Bluedot festival at Jodrell Bank. Always wanted to go and see the scope.

      On one of my and my partners wanders at night we went to get up and close and personal with the Lovell. And would you believe it! There were two deck chairs right under the scope. So we settled in and listened to the Apollo 11 talkback via Capcon. Lovely pretty lights and everything!

      Then we went back to our tent which he had cunningly stuck a ‘No 42’ sign on. With more pretty lights.

      Who says the Universe doesn’t deliver?

  8. Believer says:

    I Unliked, even though I secretly Liked, just because I don’t want my family to think I Like these kinds of books. I don’t like it for the words, anyway, just the pictures.

    1. Lorelei says:

      Believer—I had trouble ordering it months ago and had to chat online with an Amazon person and tell them the title! They were probably shaking their head.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Ha ha wish I’d heard that conversation

        1. Lorelei says:

          I can’t believe I’m actually saying this but it didn’t top the dialogue with a customer service interaction with Lelo on a warranty.

          1. Renarde says:

            Excellent work. Lelo are expensive. If they fail then damn right to get it sorted.

          2. Lorelei says:

            They allow email exchanges thank goodness and returns are shipped to Las Vegas if I recall. Hilarious. Yes, quite expensive.

          3. Renarde says:

            Yes £80 mine was.

      2. T’mara says:

        Ha ha … that’s funny, Lorelei. Awkward. I probably would’ve offered up some explanation, like, “Yah, I’ve just been having to deal with this Narcissist, and everything… its such a bummer”. .. (so, Amazon wouldn’t think I was weird, or anything).

      3. T’mara says:

        Lorelei, I like your profile picture. It is funny, and also cute.

        1. Lorelei says:

          It is symbolic T’mara! Tomorrow is hopefully the day I’m released from the chains of this legal entanglement.

          1. T’mara says:

            Oh, good! I hope so, Lorelei. You deserve to be free.

  9. Believer says:

    I read this book, just out of curiosity. There were no pictures.

    1. Lorelei says:

      I’m glad there were no pictures!

      1. T’mara says:

        I ‘should’ be glad, too… I know.

    2. FYC says:

      Believer, The words are graphic enough illustrations.

      1. T’mara says:

        Yes, lol…

    3. Sweetest Perfection says:

      You want mine? I have a ton of dick pics …

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Ha ha

      2. MB says:

        SP, How many different angles can you get on a single err member? Does he put different costumes on? Maybe various locales kind of like selfies? I’m trying to understand how you tell them apart. Don’t they all look the same?

        Question for HG: Receiving I get, but how does an epsilon semi moron get fuel from SENDING a dick pic?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          1. Thought Fuel.
          2. Proximate Fuel from the response received.

          1. MB says:

            And the N RECEIVING pictures is all about control. I realized that way early on. Even before I knew what he was. (Didn’t stop me from doing it though.)

          2. Lorelei says:

            The problem with the pics is this—morons send them which rules them out yes of course. But who wants to waste time getting to like someone and finding a small one? It’s a real and frustrating issue.

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I’m digging your new avatar, Lorelei.

          4. NarcAngel says:

            Is it any wonder he fell for Lorelei? Look at that adoring fuelling gaze of hers focused solely on him while he plays to the camera lol.

          5. Lorelei says:

            I was really tired and a little hung over. We had a big party the night before. Surprised I had any fuel to give. I was cautious to mark out his face and put up a side view of mine, although admittedly I don’t always follow HG’s rules.

        2. Sweetest Perfection says:

          They all have different backgrounds, MB: cock on vacation, cock at home, cock at beach house (with bunch of dirty clothes on the floor), cock in bathroom, cock reflected in mirror. Some are “animated” and you can hear his voice. He always says the same, very poor monologue. I must admit it gets boring after a couple.

          1. MB says:

            SP, thank you for sharing. I raised two boys. I remember a stage they both went through around the age of 3 where they were quite fascinated by their penises. Maybe some never grow out of it? (Maybe none of them do, they just don’t make it so obvious?) Is “your” SN’s member really that much more interesting than any other? I think not, obviously he believes it to be the most awesome cock on the planet! You should consider yourself privileged for be allowed access to its grandeur!

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Haha, MB, “grandeur” is definitely the word. It’s pretty big. But like I think I’ve said before, that’s all he is: a big dick (literally and figuratively).

          3. Ta‘mara says:

            Ha haha!! Too funny!!

      3. T’mara says:


      4. Believe Her says:

        Are they your own pics, or someone else’s? I cannot tell by your name? What are they doing in the pics?

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Believe Her, are you asking me? I’m referring to my narc. He loved sending dick pictures -of his own dick- to me and probably the rest of the world at the same time. They are not exciting, just his dick standing in the middle while he’s holding it with the same hand where he wears his wedding band (classy, huh? Lack of boundaries, entitlement). Nothing special really. He sent the first one within a week of having just kissed. Hooray.

          1. Ta‘mara says:

            Ha haha!!!

      5. Supernova DE says:

        Me too. My favorite was when he’d send one first with obviously different lighting or background. (meaning it was not taken in the moment but saved on his phone). Then a few minutes into the “conversation” he’d send a real time pic of it.
        Obviously it took him a while to get hard and send me a real pic….loser

        MRN: sends shirtless pic followed immediately by dick pic
        Me: I’m at work
        MRN: silence
        MRN (several hours later when I gave no fuel from ST): sorry about that I was just really horny.
        —this convo probably occurred almost verbatim at least 50 times— lol

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Supernova hahaha! “My favorite was when he’d send one first with obviously different lighting or background.” The mystery of the teleporting cock!

  10. NarcAngel says:

    Just get this book already. Game changer.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Fucking A, NA.

      1. Believer says:

        I held my ears, and hummed when you said the “f” word. Plus, I covered m. Y . Eye s. too.

    2. strongerwendyme says:


      1. NarcAngel says:

        Hi strongerwendyme
        Nice to see you. You were testing out the dating waters last we spoke. Anything you care to share regarding the current dating climate?

        1. strongerwendyme says:

          Be vigilant. 😉

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Great advice as always.

          2. strongerwendyme says:

            I should have said
            “Be vigilant”. She said with the 1000 yard stare of a WWI soldier, her features set like June’s in many of the closing scenes in the Handmaids tale.

          3. NarcAngel says:

            Haha. Point taken. That stare has some weight to it.

        2. strongerwendyme says:

          Be vigilant 😉

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