The Empathic Supernova
What is the Empathic Supernova?
In order to detail this phenomenon, it is first necessary to consider when it might appear and what is behind its appearance.
The repeated application of our manipulations is deployed for the purposes of maintaining control over you. This control reinforces our notion of superiority, omnipotence and impregnability and enables us to draw fuel from our appliances and most of all you as our primary source.
I have made mention of the Empathic Group, the group which lies to the left of the empathic-narcissistic spectrum and within this group there are three schools of the empathic individual; the Co-Dependent, the Super Empath and the Empath.
The sustained application of the many and varied manipulations produces results for us. It also takes its toll on our victims. The Co-Dependent will cling on, desperate for the self-definition which manifests as a consequence of their ensnarement with us. They will soak up the abuse, the confusion and the control until they reach a point of breakdown. The cumulative effect of the silent treatments, the gas lighting, the physical abuse, the psychological trauma, financial mistreatment and sexual degradation eventually causes the limpet-like Co-Dependent to collapse into numbness, malfunction and potential hospitalisation. They gave and gave until suddenly they fell off the cliff and their fuel provision remained impressive on Monday and by Tuesday it had stopped. No longer capable of pumping out fuel, attending to our requirements and showering us with appropriate traits and residual benefits, this failure to function invariably brings about the discard of this individual. The discarded Co-Dependent, although distraught at the loss of the narcissist which they crave, is in no position to try to bring about the resumption of the relationship and thus, whilst we focus on their replacement primary source, they are allowed a period by which they can recover and once the lights switch back on again and the fuel starts to pump, the devaluation of their replacement has begun, so we come looking and hoovering for the Co-Dependent. Unable to resist, because of the nature of the hoovering and their own vulnerability, they are hoovered back in and the narcissistic cycle continues.
Whilst third parties may try to assist the Co-Dependent to see and understand what has happened to them, their own substantial need to connect with a narcissist means it is very hard to make them take notice and stay away from us. Unless physically removed and isolated, the Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.
The empathic-narcissistic spectrum is a sliding scale that represents both empathic and narcissistic traits. On the far left the empathic traits are more numerous and stronger whilst the narcissistic traits are fewer and weaker. Move to the right and the empathic traits begin to lessen in number, their effects less evident and the narcissistic traits begin to increase and become more prevalent. Eventually, as one reaches the Narcissistic Group, on the right of this spectrum, the empathic traits have disappeared and all that remain are narcissistic traits which become more numerous and stronger the further right one goes within this Narcissistic Group.
Accordingly, with the Co-Dependent, he or she will have many empathic traits and they are strong in nature. Their devotion to love, their honesty, decency, excellent listening skills, positivity etc are most evident and contribute to create a highly empathic individual. The narcissistic traits are almost invisible and the few that exist are weak. Accordingly, this prevalence of empathic traits attracts and is attracted to the prevalence of extensive and strong narcissistic traits. They locked together, complementing one another and consequently the Co-Dependent is inexorably drawn to those within the Narcissistic Group, with next to nothing in terms of their own narcissistic traits to act as some kind of repellant.
The Empath may also find themselves shutting down, but more usually they are prevented from reaching a position of complete numbing though the intervention of a third party. Sure enough the toll exacted on the Empath is considerable and has damaging consequences, but, in general, they manage to avoid more often the fate of the Co-Dependent. Instead, rather than giving and giving until shut down occurs (as is the case with the Co-Dependent) the Empath’s performance deteriorates in terms of fuel output in a more gradual fashion which means that when it dips below a threshold of acceptability for our kind, the Empath is also discarded. Not so damaged as to be unable to function, the Empath will endeavour to re-connect with our kind, having sufficient energy and ability to do so, but they will be shunned as part of this discard until it is time to hoover them. Unaware of what they have been ensnared by and with capabilities improved after a period of respite arising from the discard, the Empath is sucked back in by the narcissist and thus the narcissistic cycle continues.
The Empath however may also realise that something is wrong, or assisted by third parties and more amenable to listening, takes notice of what these third parties are telling him or her. They have a moment of ‘awakening’ and with that realise that they must remain away from our grip, however hurtful and hard it may be and thus they eventually escape, putting distance between them and our kind.
The Empath has numerous empathic traits and they are of strength but they are not on the same scale as the Co-Dependent. The Empath will have some narcissistic traits, not many and not especially strong in nature, but they will have more narcissistic traits than the Co-Dependent. Their status as an Empath (along with the fact that there are more Empaths than Co-Dependents) means that Empaths become the bread and butter target for our kind. They too are attracted to us, not with the almost hopeless vulnerability of the Co-Dependent, but they remain not only attracted to our kind but a target.
Finally, there is the Super Empath. The Super Empath is an excellent provider of fuel also and comes with a confidence and a fieriness which proves most tempting to our kind. The Super Empath sees his or her role as helping, fixing, healing and brining goodness to those around them. They have considerable energy, they are capable and their capacity for sustaining our abuses also makes them a considerably attractive prospect. The Co-Dependent can sustain considerable abuse until suddenly, like a light being extinguished, that is it. The Empath also can sustain our manipulations but their slide is slower and more gradual. The Super Empath, blessed with a vast capacity for empathy and goodness is also somebody who can sustain a lengthy campaign of abuse. There is no slide downwards with this individual like the Empath. There is no sudden collapse like the Co-Dependent. Instead the Super Empath goes in to Supernova mode.
The trait make-up of the Super Empath is different from their cousins in the Empathic Group. Whereas the Co-Dependent has strong and many empathic traits with little and low narcissistic traits and the Empath has few and fairly low narcissistic traits but more and quite strong empathic traits, the Super Empath has a different constitution.
The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Empath.
This arrangement is not problematic. Liken the Super Empath’s narcissistic make-up to the light from a candle and their empathic make-up the light from a spotlight. The intensity of the spotlight is so bright that the candle light is barely noticed. Accordingly, the narcissistic element to the Super Empath does not appear. The Super Empath behaves in an empathic way and thus is a target for our kind.
There comes a time however when the sustained abuse and the awareness of the Super Empath reaches a critical point. Rather than switch off or slide into decline, the Super Empath will decide that enough is enough. In some instances, this means that the Super Empath will escape and follow a similar route to that of the Empath and distance themselves from the narcissist.
On other occasions they enter into Supernova mode. When this happens, the Super Empath will dim their empathic traits. This can only be dimming. The empathic traits cannot be shut off as they are wired into the empath’s dna. Moreover, this dimming can only continue for a period of time and is not permanent. The naturally strong empathic nature of the Super Empath means that it will blaze bright again.
However, when this dimming takes places, the gap between empathy and narcissism in the Super Empath lessens so that the narcissistic traits are more prevalent. They do not dominate nor do they take over, but they are allowed to ‘shine’. However, whereas in our kind the application of our narcissistic traits is unfettered since we have no empathic traits and thus these traits are directed in a malevolent, harmful and destructive manner, the Super Empath uses these unleashed narcissistic traits for ‘good’.
This means that they will fight back against our kind and remain in the relationship with us. They will shut off the fuel provision, they will engage in manipulation of us, having learned how to effect it form their accompanying journey with out kind. The Super Empath will wound and wound, striking blow upon blow against the narcissist. It is worth pointing out that the Super Empath does not necessarily know that they are with a narcissist (they may only realise this later) but rather they know that something is very wrong in the relationship and it must no longer continue.
Thus when some people ask the question
“Can you become a narcissist from being with a narcissist?”
or
“Can I pick up narcissistic traits from my experience of being entangled with a narcissist?”
The answer remains no.
But, if you find that you are exhibiting such traits and you are deploying them against the narcissist, what has happened is that you are allowing your inherent narcissistic traits to have greater prominence. You keep them under control and you are not allowing them to harm or hurt innocent parties, but rather you are applying them against the narcissist in order to strike back. You always had these traits, you have not gained them by being with us, but what you have learned is how to manipulate from being with us and now you are turning those manipulations against us.
The effect against us is varied.
The Lesser Narcissist will discard immediately with a display of ignited fury as he seeks to escape the turning of the tables. He will need to get away from this empowered Super Empath and find a new primary source straight away. He wants to shrink from this blazing supernova of power which is causing him considerable difficulty through the cessation of fuel and the wounding from repeated criticism.
The Mid-Range Narcissist will find himself in a tormented loop as he tries to assert control. He will not comprehend truly what is happening. He will not want to lose the Super Empath owing to the fuel provision, but he is finding that his ability to manipulate and the reasonable degree of calculation that he has, is being sorely tested. He will try to assert his control through passive aggressive means, even pleading with the Super Empath to stop and ‘why can’t you be good to me again’? He will roll out the pity plays and sympathy cards in order to try to achieve superiority again. However, either the Super Empath decides to escape and leaves the Mid-Ranger in a confused and bewildered state or the Mid-Ranger slinks away and discards,unable to sustain the fight and needing a new and far more compliant primary source.
The Greater Narcissist will rail against this insurrection and fight back. He will draw on fuel from alternative sources (usually the IPSS or IPSSs he has in the wings along with fuel form those NISS who are his inner and outer circle friends). He will relish the challenge shown by the Super Empath and a real battle of wills ensues as each combatant deploys manipulation after manipulation against one another. This hammer and tongs clash of the titans sees the Super Empath applying what they have learned, similar to the apprentice turning on his or her master, as the old hand seeks to slap down the irreverent upstart. The Super Empath may withdraw and escape, satisfied that they have made their mark and scarred the Greater. The Greater may ultimately recognise that only a stalemate (for now) can ensue and breaks off, discarding the Super Empath and focusses on the acquisition of a new primary source (or more likely the promotion of an already ensnared IPSS). The Greater however will not leave matters there. A note will be made to rejoin battle in due course and bring the Super Empath to heel.
Thus the Empathic Supernova is when the Super Empath determines that enough is enough and he or she reduces their empathic traits, allowing the narcissistic traits to come to the fore and in so doing he or she trains their sights on making life difficult, miserable and awkward for the narcissist. This is why our kind proceed with caution with the Super Empath. Their capacity for sucking up the abusive devaluation and their impressive fuel provision is tempting indeed, but reaching the critical point and causing the ignition of the Empathic Supernova can have dire consequences for our kind.
Not for me of course. I relish the challenge and the assertion of hegemonic dominance. Obviously.
35 thoughts on “The Empathic Supernova”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Supernova mode is a glorious place to be. 😜
Is it possible for the “empath” to change as in be codependent when young but then grow to empath or super empath when older?
I was definitely a codependent when i was younger and was first ensnared by my narcissist. It almost killed me but i just managed to get away.
Fast forward 14 years and that same narcissist has come knocking. I feel stronger, not codependent. I know what he is and I can “switch off” my feelings when i need to. I see what he does and why he does it and it makes me laugh. I also have narcissistic traits now I never used to (he thinks I am the narcissist lol) He’s a victim lesser or mid-ranger and he needs me more than I need him so I’m not worried about that. Was just wondering if it’s possible for empaths to change do you think?
No. You of course have elements from two or more schools of empath and two or more cadres of empath, but what you are referring to is not switching off your feelings, but mastery of emotional thinking and the application of logic to keep your co-dependent tendencies in check.
HG
Are you going to add a subtitle to this piece that reads ‘this is a do-or-die situation, and not a regular occurrence’?
This is not a situation of normal, healthy assertiveness?
This is the action of the empath who is long trapped in a marriage, or common-law marriage, with a N?
You explained something similar to this on another thread, and I see the same shades of confusion in the reader comments now as before.
I like to be intimately acquainted with the substance of a thing, and to understand it fully. I appreciate your clarification.
Perhaps you could add the things you’ve said elsewhere to an updated version of this article?
In our efforts to understand ourselves and the N/E dynamic, we do well to realise that this state of being ‘in extremis’ with the N, is not something to aspire to.
It’s not a commendable alternative to GOSO.
My empath grandmother acted in supernova mode during her marriage to my Lesser-N alcoholic grandfather. She did this to protect her children while they were young.
His favourite time for fuel-seeking behaviour was at dinner time, when he’d create drama, make everyone cry, or run off and cry, or run off in fear of being assaulted, and dinner was rarely eaten.
My mother was malnourished as a child because of it. She told me that she couldn’t eat from the stress of seeing her mother verbally assaulted and physically intimidated.
In all of the Christmas photos from my N-Mother’s childhood, everyone looks miserable.
My grandmother couldn’t leave him in the 1950s, as there was nowhere to go.
She was an only child, and she had no relatives nearby (they were all in Queensland, she was in Victoria).
She wasn’t able to work anymore as a Registered Nurse as she once had; once married, a woman in Australian society had to give up her career.
Ridiculous law!
Social pressures acted against women leaving their spouses. The social shame at the time was intense.
The supernova actions of my grandmother produced some rare exhibitions of mid-ranger behaviour from the upper Lesser-N: pity plays and “why are you doing this to me?” reactions.
His aggression was only halted for a time, then it was business as usual.
He also exhibited a mid-ranger’s mindset with regard to the public facade; it was firmly in place while sitting in the pews at the Sunday morning service. Once home and beer opened, the fuel was extracted with impunity.
The supernova actions of my grandmother didn’t prevent her or her children from being traumatized by the N.
Exhibit A: Caroline, her granddaughter, is here at narcsite.
I rest my case.
Hello Caroline R, you ate correct that it is not a regular occurrence but neither is it do or die, that is where people make the mistake. The ‘do or die’ instance is The Cliff which I will be writing about separately. You are correct that there is not a commendable alternative to GOSO, GOSO should be adhered to. The Empathic Supernova invariably occurs when people do not fully realise what they are dealing with. They have an inherent ‘line’ which is crossed at an earlier stage compared to others who fight back (if they fight back at all).
So, once you know and you DON’T go, you’re not in Supernova mode, anyway . . . am I understanding this correctly?
Once you know and you do not go, you are disobeying the first golden rule of freedom and you are being affected by emotional thinking.
HG
Thank you for replying.
I must have misunderstood the do-or-die comment made elsewhere.
There’s a great deal of information to assimilate at narcsite.
I’d forgotten about your mentioning ‘The Cliff’ as an upcoming project. I very much look forward to reading it.
Since writing my comments on this thread earlier this week, I have wished that I had my grandma here to ask her about her relationship, especially how did she feel when her husband’s mask first dropped and she saw the black stare looking back at her. The smug smile at her hurt expression. When did it happen?
How soon after they married did he change from being ultra charming?
I’d love to compare notes with her. We would discuss the icy-cold N-eyes of her mid-range mother-in-law.
So many things to discuss!
I would tell her that after she died, the fridge, now solely for his use, no longer contained food.
Just beer.
It was packed full of beer.
I could reassure her with your words, that she couldn’t have made a difference to the outcome of her marriage.
She did her best and survived 54 years with her N-husband. She gave everything to her marriage and her family, and wasn’t crushed at the end, but was her authentic self, albeit a self worn down by him . She developed pancreatic cancer and died within three months of diagnosis. She was full of love for me to the end.
I’d love to introduce her to your writing. She would have loved it. (She was a published author as a child: she wrote stories and sent them into the newspaper for publication under the nom-de-plume “Mignonne”).
Her mind would be suitably blown as you catapulted her to that stratosphere of reality, that same one where you first took me, and caused me to gaze with horrified realisation at what I’d really been dealing with.
The irrevocable shift in perspective.
And then the lifting of the great pile of bricks…..the weight of guilt, responsibility, and failure….that pile that you lifted off me.
She’d have thought that you were wonderful too.
I have not had an empath detector but I don’t think I’m a super empath, probably more of a magnetic one (possibly co dependant as well)
I did try and turn the tables on my narc and it wasn’t very successful. I traingulated him, tried to provoke him with posts etc. I became more distant etc. But in the end it only gave him amo to flip around on me to blame me and my behaviour for
Everything.
I would suggest not trying to be manipulative when you are not a manipulative person.
With that said it would be amazing if I could use some of my own narc traits to get back at him lol.
I hear you but your logical fallacy is slipping you into ET. Entirely understandable. He’s hurt you, why shouldn’t you lash back out?
Don’t get me wrong on this but Yahweh had it. Turn the other cheek.
It’s far more powerful in the long run. The reason is not some altruistic ‘Sky God’ that demands we let others beat us black and blue.
If you deny thought; you deny energy.
It is that simple.
Even after all that we still lose. Cause we care and they don’t. HG is right. The battle isn’t worth fighting.
I am a Super Empath and I have been entangled with a Greater Narcissist. I liken our interactions now to a game of chess, now that I have been able to switch off or dim down as you described by empathetic traits, I am able to use what I have learnt from my greater against him.
He built me and trained me to work for him as his right hand man, but his desire to lie and hurt turned me against him eventually as they all do.
My business is in competition with his and I now teach what he taught me.
I used to be scared but now I am not. I relish and enjoy being able to make him squirm. I have gained the respect and admiration of all those that previously worshipped him and as he supposedly built me for this originally, although it was supposed to be under him.
He has now gone quiet because I know he is aware of my power play and he is sitting back and assessing what the fuck to do next.
I don’t care. It’s too late. My success is already secured.
Kiss my ass
Kissmyass
In what ways did he “train” you to be his right hand?
How did you gain the respect and admiration of his worshipers?
I would love to read about what super empaths are doing – real life examples ?
I am a Super Empath
I am throroughly enjoying being able to turn the tables and use all that my greater taught me against him.
Never underestimate the power of a highly intelligent and motivated empath.
That’s emotional thinking and you’re losing. Read The Devil’s Pitchfork.
HG
I agree.
The N will always stoop to lower levels of bastardry, as their conscience cares not one jot for integrity.
Control is all.
Fuel is all.
We who have a conscience unseared by evil, and value our personal integrity, can never win against them in hand to hand combat.
We need outside assistance.
I’m looking forward to ‘The Devil’s Pitchfork’ being added to your YouTube video portfolio.
Carolyn: Regarding your quote: `We who have a conscience unseared by evil, and value our personal integrity,` I dare to say `we` do our share of evil on this planet as well, even though our conscience is supposedly all entact. We become seduced to the ways of the world, and act accordingly at times. We too have to keep watch on ourselves to not do dirt, as well as watch out for others who look to do dirt to us, yes? I believe so.
Yeah, manipulating is pretending to be more busy and popular than we actually are. Neediness in disguise. Going to another activity/admirer, forgetting the odd “feels off” guy, is probably the best.
Examples ?
Omj: I typed: [ The Devil’s Pitchfork] in the Search screen on this site and hit the enter key on my computer: and the article came up. The article breaks down in depth the three BAD outcomes of engaging with a Narcissistic. Have a look as I posted the link for your convenience and I read it as well for my own learning and understanding: https://narcsite.com/2019/07/16/the-devils-pitchfork-the-three-bad-outcomes-of-engaging-with-a-narcissist/
I am a writer who is working to illuminate how far and deep NPD abuse goes. Plus the cost in fiscal terms to society.
Hey! You always have to be Political!
Oh and if you catch me in a cheeky mood, I usually hang out on the SATN pages.
From reading this, I can tell that I am definitely a Super Empath, maybe with some co-dependent thrown in, if that is possible.
I wish I could elaborate to get some other opinions but I’m afraid to. My narc, his whole family is politically connected. His brother is a politician in the upper echelons of US politics, so talking carries risks. But, let’s just say I used their power to my advantage, when I finally realized the true size of his betrayal against me. I felt so powerless and weak.
He knows now to never cross me again and I know that I have work to do on myself to become less attractive to persons like this like this in the future. That’s all that matters – the takeaway.
Maria: I know what it is like to have to be careful to speak on close issues because of others. Please remember that you can privately consult, as you see at the top of the page, and have a spoken consult as well, as you can see on the top of the page, when needed and even in case of an emergency. You can be outnumbered but HG Tudor is here to assist you in not being outgunned as well, by power. Essentially nothing you are going through or have to discuss will shock him. I understand exactly what you are saying and what you are not saying, and you do have a voice and can express it in vague speech on here (many of us have the ability on here at understanding the thoughts behind the often necessary vagaries of what we each post on here), because, please know, we experience the same situation in this dynamic one way or the other. And we can not always spell everything out, and sometimes we speak in a sort of code when we feel we need to, or want to.
PrincessSuperEmpath thank you so much!
I’m scared of ending up in court with him and any of this being found online by his team. He has threatened legal action, though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
I’ve lost about 200k in the past 3 years. I let my small business fail while I tried to help him . He played the vulnerable victim so well to gain my sympathy and attention. Logic should have told me that he had the support he needs with his family and I needed to help myself more, but logic flew out the window and we went around in circles for 2 more years with me begging him for answers and him refusing to give me closure or say goodbye when I got frustrated by his lack of support or clarification.
Finally, I went to the person he had been triangulating me with for years, for answers (and boy did we both get them) I knew it could get the rumor mill going, locally, and might have a detrimental impact on his life (which is why I gave him 2 years to make it right… it wasn’t a decision I made lightly) and I was scared he would retaliate, so I told him to end any of those thoughts if he wanted to keep things local. I had to bare some teeth to protect myself and my family.
I saved all of our correspondence. He can’t lie his way out of it, luckily. And I think that will protect me from any threatened defamation lawsuit, as I told no lies. Don’t need to lie about him to make him look bad, unfortunately. It’s been about 12 weeks. I have also threatened to sue him for fraud, in return. Best we both just keep walking I think.
We were a part of each others worlds for 15 years. Best friends for 7. He always radiated composure, warmth and wisdom (he’s 10 years older than me). Then I woke up one day and that man was just gone. Replaced by a cold, arrogant reptile. I cried every day for 2 years and am surprised I didn’t take a rope on a short walk into the woods. It was a nightmare. I still wish I could wake up and have my best friend and business back. The fact that I can talk about it at all now is a relief.
Thank you for inviting me to open up. I do feel better.
Maria: Of course he does not want you to expose him anywhere. Of course he does not want you to tell anyone or to keep a diary and document ALL his abuse, whether it is combined financial, physical emotional, or whatever type of abuse he is or was perpetrating. Of course he does not want you to have a consultation for clarifying exactly what he did, and he does not want you to consult with such a strategist as HG Tudor, who is brilliant and way smarter than he is, about your status as a victim of incredible narcissistic abuse, and he does not want you to have told any trustworthy and credible friends to have as your witness to vouch for you about the abuse. Therefore in court, for example, if one day it comes to this, if the Judge or Opposing side asks you to present any evidence of his actions and they all stare at you waiting, you would say in a bewildered manner that you have no evidence, except for some financial bills, and no credible witnesses and no expert opinions and then you can watch them all smirk at you. I don’t know what protocol you have to protect yourself, other than to warn him to stop whatever he is doing. But, this sort never stops plotting and lies in wait to plot their revenge. It is a family business. There is a saying: `Behind every powerful family there is a great crime.` Please arrange a consult and have a battle plan in place. A professional strategy that applies to all the people that are involved including those that will succor whatever lies and shenanigans he comes up with in the future, in case he considers you to be a thorn in his side and his future aspirations and reputation, relationships and career and family status. And men are believed more than women and women are often viewed as exaggerators, scorned and hysterical. HG Tudor is consulted by people of all levels and has seen and heard and has helped people in such scenarios that I do not want to think about. In my story, that I have discussed on here, ad nauseum, I was up against what I thought was one person, and HG Tudor showed me it was 5 people. It was all so shocking and I worked through my protocol and I am on the winning side of my situation now. I am not going to wonder about what could have happened to me if I had not discovered HG Tudor, and followed his directions. I do not want to dwell on the very UGLY probabilities. According to the law where you live, were you common law married to this man? Talk to HG while he is available for such consulting in the manner you need. Maybe your problem is not as bad as you think, or maybe it is much worse than you think, like in my case. Find out! And tell him all, even if you made mistakes as well. Nothing will shock HG Tudor. Let him look over your scenario for you, and you Maria, sort of take a little psychological and mental rest for yourself, as he creates a protocol for you to follow for your safety and well being going forward. Also, there are statute of limitations regarding certain things. Make sure you are not sitting when you should be acting. However you know the details of your scenario, and I do not. So obtain priceless strategic life help for your scenario, for the cost of highlights for your hair. Many women knock on wood, or cross their fingers and such, insead of obtaining counsel, for some reason, like men do. When playing golf, for example, many men discuss more than the grass and the golf ball, in all the privacy and calm time afforded by the golf green. This world can be a dangerous place for an unprepared woman that is looked upon as being possibly a future inconvenience for any man, and even more so for a powerful man and his powerful family and their loyal friends and connections. And there are many examples of this danger for women, from the smallest towns to capital cities.
P.S. Maria, The Court loves spoken tapes. If you have tapes of him saying things, do not lose them, but Have the Consult. Also, he knows what evidence you have against him. So you have shown him your cards already. Women, in general love to show all their cards during the heat of the moment. I do not know why. Not good. He will work on various backstories to counter all the evidence in every card that you have, that you discussed with him. Your scenario is a way, way, way out of my league, if I even have a league. Get help. I am so glad that you found your way on here.
Thank you, PSE. I know I have a lot to think about and consider. I feel there are risks no matter what I do or if I do nothing.
Maria. I am glad you at least know you have a resource where to go for substantive counsel and direction on Risk Management. 🙂
Maria, To seriously increase your anonymity, do this:
Download ProtonMail. They offer anonymous, end-to-end encrypted email with two different levels of encryption to choose from. Both are very robust (one is extreme). ProtonMail’s entire business and server farm are all located in Switzerland and only subject to Swiss law (they are big on anonymity so even if your H is connected, they will not likely do him any favors). Their website uses the highest strength 4096-bit SSL security.
The mail has an easy user interface. Best of all, you can set your email to delete upon completion or on a schedule or whenever you choose. Choose a user name that he will not know and a password you have never used before that includes numbers, symbols, letters and caps. That should cover it, except be sure to log off after every email viewing session. Delete the app when done. Upon specified deletion or closing your account, no information is retained. Proton Mail is not available in a desktop app, but you can download the app on your phone and access your account on your desktop.
If you want anonymous voice you can buy a cheap pre-paid phone almost anywhere and toss it after the consult.
This may seem extreme, but given your situation it will give you privacy. I wish you the very best. Take care.
Thank you, FYI 😘 I am saving this information.
A male friend, a narcissist, who was part of a mutual social circle for years, once commented to me in a respectful, yet confused way that I was an “enigma”. It made me smile. I replied: “Thank you, that’s the most honest thing anyone has ever said to me and I’ll take that as a compliment.” Supernovas, what a great term for something I’ve been doing throughout my life. Thanks, HG
My ex Mid Rage played the pity card successfully 3 times – no more, no less. He cried the next day after totally ruining my birthday and came back home with an expensive gift ( I didn’t ask for any btw before or after the date). On the next occasion after a cruel emotional abuse from him I stood completely shuttled and in disbelief, unable to say anything. Then he started to cry and the stupid me felt sorry for him. Only a week later he showed again his true colours. The third occasion was when I finally moved from him – the divorce was in a process. He called me at work crying and asking for another chance. I bursted in tears over the phone.. luckily I had my own office so nobody witnessed my emotional breakdown. I was blaming myself the whole day not being enough patient and maybe I had to give him another chance . Thanks to the moral support from very close family members ( they were overseas ) and a very close friend in my town, I was able to escape from him. They helped me to stay firm and do not go back.
Good for you, Claire! Thankfully you had the support and encouragement to be brave enough to make the change for You. You’re strong!
Thank you for the kind words, KellyD! It was a tough journey as I left my homeland to merry a person whom I was thinking was the love of my life. It is over . May you had escaped your Narc as well. Blessings