The Narcissist Corrupts : Truthseeker
Truth seeker. The pursuit of the truth. A noble ideal indeed is it not? It sounds as if you ought to be armed with your sword of justice and your shield of purity as you make your way through the badlands in order to find the truth. In fact, this is what you, as an empathic individual is unwittingly doing when you become engaged with our kind.
You are all truth seekers. The empath, the co-dependent and especially the super empath. You want the truth and you will apply your indefatigable spirit to acquiring it without understanding the toll that this misguided folly will have on you as whole. The need to be told the truth, to find it and to know it is a core empathic trait and as you would expect, it leads you into the trap of being ensnared by our kind and is heavily exploited.
Being a truth seeker is a trait of the empath which we corrupt and we are aided and abetted by your emotional thinking. . Those who are empathic tell the truth, but that is because of that other empathic trait honesty. The empath must always establish the truth of a situation, the truth at the heart of an individual and in so doing the allows them to reconcile their own truths.
The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.
Take, for instance, at the outset of the narcissistic dynamic, when we begin our seduction of the empath. He or she wishes to know that this wonderful person is true in their intentions and whilst the empath might be pleased that others talk about how enamoured the narcissist is about them, or how the narcissist seems utterly smitten, the empath must establish the truth form the narcissist him or herself. This of course opens the empath up to the charm, magnetism and allure of the scintillating narcissist as we are only too happy to tell you what you want to hear, to show you what you want to see and to do what you would have us do.
Oblivious to who you are dealing with (until otherwise educated) the empath will, through his or trusting nature and propensity to deal honestly with others, accept what the narcissist says and does. That amounts to the truth. The narcissist is skilled through his mirroring to reflect back at you your own truths and thus as you seek the truth, you are shown it. What you do not realise is that you are looking at your own truth, but since it is your truth and not ours, it is so utterly convincing. The adoration that you exhibit towards us is mirrored and reflect back at you. You wish to seek the truth of that adoration and what do you see? An adoration that is on the same par as your own – how can that then not appear to be the truth. In seeking the truth but looking for it from one who lies so effectively and defrauds with ease, all you find is your own truth, but you fail to recognise it as such and thus you feel you have found the truth and you are convinced that what you see is genuine love, is genuine passion and is genuine adoration.
You might liken it to a person who carries with him or her one half of a precious gem and seeks the other half. This person encounters a mirror, but does not know that it is a mirror and thinks that they see the other half stood before them since it looks so convincing, yet try to touch or grasp or find any depth or substance to this supposed other half and it will not be there. This is what eventually happens when devaluation occurs as you see the reflection and it dawns on you that all you are looking at is what you already had, being made to appear like something more.
Thus in wanting to find the truth and being shown your truth and not ours, you are utterly convinced as to the legitimacy of our love, passion and desire for you. Your truth seeking has made you vulnerable to our deceitful manipulations from the very beginning.
Yet, the matter worsens. Your pursuit of the truth leaves you vulnerable to perhaps one of the most confusing and bewildering aspects of the narcissistic dynamic, the need to establish the truth during devaluation. Once the array of machinations are wheeled out against you, the gas lighting commences, the lies, the insults, the intimidation and so much more is used against you, your quest for the truth has you stuck in the quagmire of our manipulations for a considerable time.
Firstly, you do not accept that this monster which now prevents you from getting a good night’s sleep, erupts at the slightest criticism, becomes demanding over apparently nothing, is the person who you fell in love with or who loves you. This is not the truth that stands before you. The truth must surely have been the person who first seduced you. You know that to be the case because you sought the truth then during the seduction, you saw it and you established it. It is that magical, wonderful, adoring person who seems to have vanished and in its stead you now see some grotesque version of the person you love. That is not the truth that shouts at you and belittles you, that is not the truth that turns each time you want to go out with your friends into a battle and that is not the truth that turns its back on you every night in bed. You want to find the true us, the one you saw and established during seduction and that need, that desire and that pursuit of this truth means you remain in situ, not escaping and allowing our abuses to rain down on you again and again.
Secondly, you experience the downside of our pathological lies during the devaluation. You were lied to, naturally, during the seduction, but that does not matter. You thought it to be the truth and you established it as so and besides, those lies felt good didn’t they? Yet know, the lies wound and hurt, they scar and mark, as we tell you lies about what we have been doing, where we have been and who with. You are no fool, or so you think, for you have followed us, had others report to you and you know the truth of what has been happening. Now you must establish that truth with us. You must seek the truth from our lips without you realising that we will never do such a thing since to do so would be to cede control to you. You have not yet grasped who you are dealing with and thus you remain unaware that we use lies to achieve so much of our aims. Those lies are used to make you dizzy, make you cry, make you exhausted and we keep on going and will not concede to the truth.
How many times have you heard yourself say:-
“Just tell me the truth, that is all I want you to do.”
“Please, stop lying, just tell the truth.”
“If you would only tell the truth.”
“I want the truth.”
“Give me the truth. Please I am begging you.”
Are those phrases and those of a similar kind echoing about your mind now?
Your desire to get to the truth, to hold the truth in front of us and get us to acknowledge it means you become drawn into the circular arguments, the endless arguments, the denial, the switching and the deflections which leave you shattered, mystified and spent. Why can he not see the truth when I do? The Toxic Logic of course, but you are not privy to such information at that time and so you gird your loins, climb back on your steed and ride out once again in the pursuit of the truth. It is no surprise that you then gallop into the swamp and become bogged down by lies, untruths and mendacity.
Thirdly, during devaluation it is often the case that you will turn to others to seek confirmation that the truth you once witnessed is indeed the truth and you can find it once again. You seek the truth from our coterie, our minions and our lieutenants. You go to them and need to ascertain that we are surely a decent person, who is loving and caring are we not? You walk straight into the facade and its false truth. You hear the answers which you want to hear, we are lauded for our generosity, we are praised for our kindness, we are complimented on our good humour, easy charm and reliability. There it is, you have sought the truth once again and you have found it, yet you fail to recognise it as the false truth and the false hope which it engenders. Instead of trying to escape from this devaluation, you remain in place, taking comfort from that the facade has told you and redoubling your efforts to find the truth with us. Thus, you remain and exhaust yourself tilting against the windmill that is us when you think you are slaying the dragon.
Accordingly, your empathic trait of being a truth seeker makes you vulnerable to our seduction and extremely vulnerable to the effects of our mind games, manipulations and habitual lying. Were this where it ends, but your quest for the truth has a further blow to administer to you.
The empathic trait of being a truth seeker heightens your susceptibility to the post escape and post discard hoovers. When we open those shutters and allow the bright, shining light of the golden period to fall upon your face you instantly see that the truth has returned, that false truth which you were shown what feels like such a long time ago. Yet, all is not lost, the truth has returned, it is in your grasp and all you need to do seek it out and embrace it is to return to our fold. By seeking our the truth once again you fall prey to our hoovers and our control over you is increased again.
The desire to seek the truth is noble indeed but seeking it from one who scorns the truth and takes refuge amongst deceit, lies and fraudulent intent can only result in this character trait of yours gaining the epitaph of being something which we, the narcissists, corrupt.
10 thoughts on “The Narcissist Corrupts : Truthseeker”
TThis was me for a long time most of my life actually since I met you HG And started to learn more about narcissism I don’t look for the truth and narcissist any more I just except they can’t do it I won’t and once you get on the merry-go-round of lies and deceit it’s hard to know what’s right and wrong really messes with your head
This is so interesting HG! thank you! Wow! I wan’t expecting a reply at all, so that makes it extra exciting and special! thank you.
That is pretty hilarious that the ones who continuously talk at us think that anyone who listens is the boring one. oh god! way to funny!
Really interesting re the digging/listening type and particularly that some would perceive themselves as empaths and others as greaters.
From my limited knowledge, I believe the greaters, whilst they actually do seek the information it is just part of the flow of conversation which they may steer but they know the empath will eventually talk so there is no rush or pressure. It’s all very natural. The thing is once you know to look out for this… Yes, I am still tricked, I can’t deny that at all, as much as I’d like to, but the difference now is, they don’t catch me out every single time and if I’ve missed it in the moment I can often pick up on it afterwards and take the necessary steps to ensure they don’t get away with whatever it is. Thankfully I only know a couple and double thankfully not you. That’s a compliment HG and not a criticism because you’d outsmart me all day long.
I love the mids who dig because I’ve learned you can feed them any old shit and they believe you!
Exactly. Interacting with narcissists is a constant mindfuck. When my ex MRN discarded me, I felt pathetic but I was crying and apologizing for letting him down. He made me feel as though I had. But then he said, “you didn’t at all, I let you down”. Two opposite messages. What’s the truth here?
You’ve been so hard at work here at narcsite!
I appreciate your modifications to this piece.
The reworked title and final paragraph are satisfying to read, and I gain a clearer understanding of how my hardwired traits are hijacked and used against me by the N, but I don’t feel belittled as I read.
Five gold stars for you, for this one alone.
This is SO ACCURATE. Exactly how I acted. I hate being lied too.
And honestly I feel sorry for the people who lie all the time, it’s such a childish way to live life. In a lot of ways I think nArcs are just stunted in thier emotional development and remain in a similar state to a young child.
I have to see my narc soon for a work thing (I can’t skip it… if I could I would) so I’m reminding myself:
1) I’m painted black. Malign Hoover coming my way.
2) begnin Hoover’s are acting.
3) he doesn’t have the capacity to respect boundaries
4) ignore as much as I can.
This is also saldifying that I really need to find a new job. So I’m going to start to get serious about the job hunt now… and get myself the hell out.
By cutting his fuel supply.
HG, did you watch the 3 part program about Trump ?
No, I haven’t Lisa, what’s it called?
‘You are all truth seekers. The empath, the co-dependent and especially the super empath.’ The first time I’ve noticed this sentence and be so god damn sure of it’s meaning!
I really liked your article on The overwhelming angel yesterday. These types don’t seem to trouble me too much, although I am aware of them. Perhaps because I don’t display too much emotion with those I don’t know snd therefore they either leave me alone or try a different tac.
I’ve noticed some other differences between Ns lately, there are those who talk very little about themselves (at least in the early days) and they just dig and dig for info on you and another type who are the polar opposite. Even in the beginning this other type simply talk about themselves continuously. I suspect (although this is a guess) the ones who just talk about themselves from the off are constantly chasing new fuel sources more than others because a) they need to continuously seek the adoration from anyone they meet including little mice crossing the road! And b) because they bore the fucking shit out of people very early on!
Just some initial thoughts but I’d really love it if you could write about this one day.
Those that talk a lot about themselves lack awareness and are oblivious to their behaviour and see themselves as outgoing and the listener as boring therefore they are doing them a favour by carrying the conversation. Those that talk less and dig for information are certain types of Mid Rangers who are maintaining a facade of being a listener (they will think themselves as empaths) or Greaters who are calculating and gathering intel.