99 Problems (But A Narc Ain´t One)




If you’re havin’ narc problems, it feels like he’s won,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one.


I got me some HG for my narc patrol,

Foes who want to make sure my fuel’s exposed,

Leeching critics that say she’s “Love Light and Laughter”

I’m an empath stupid, what type of facts are those?


If you were ensnared by this insidious enemy,

You’d celebrate the minute you be havin’ HG,

I’m like I was duped, he wanted my energy,

But I’m reading some Tudor in order to be free


Got blinded with the golden period they show,

They don’t play fair, it’s maximum seduction, so

They seize on my empathic traits

And when the red flags fly it’s just too late, f*****s


I gave all my love, I thought I had his,

But now I know he was taking the piss,

He set me up, pushed and he pulled, made me feel dumb,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


99 problems but a narc ain’t one

If you have narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


In a flick of a switch, he made me feel raw,

He gave me silence and walked off through the door

Got two choices, y’all, read some HG or

Stay confused and sink to the floor


And I ain’t trying to get that narc back,

Tried too many times and got no slack,

So I’ve opened the pages

And decided to nail shut that door.


‘Cause I’m still young and I shine even though I feel real low,

He wanted a mind reader, but I couldn’t know

What he meant, he wanted second guessing some mo,

I’m better than that, so the devil had to go.


Gaslighting and manipulation, takes the keys to my car,

Threatened me with weapons, pushed me real far,

I’m drawing a line in the sand, this time’s legit,

I’m preparing for departure, no contact, this is it.


Well I changed the locks, friends got my back,

And I know my rights, this fuel supply’s now flat,

I’ve sharpened my claws, I’m keeping him out

I don’t care if he cries, begs or if he starts to shout


He kept moving the bar, my self-esteem took the hit,

Enough is enough, I’ve took enough of his shit,

Well we’ll see how big he is when the fuel gets low,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one,

If you’re having narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


I try to ignore him, talk to the hand,

He can smear me to family, friends, all across the land,

I now know his type, the narc enemy

And I got my knowledge from HG


And the only thing that’s gon’ happen is I’m gonna be free,

He and his lieutenants are going down you’ll see,

Cause I’ve built my defences, I’ve got empathy

And best of all I’ve read all my HG


He can hoover, he can promise change, he can bring flowers instead,

But no more fuel for him, cos to me he’s dead,

I’ve built a wall, I’m staying out of his sphere

And for the first time in ages I feel no fear


All because he needed fuel and he targeted me,

But that’s all exposed and I will soon be free,

I know what he is and the game is done,

I got 99 solutions HG and a narc ain’t one (no contact)


99 solutions to make a narc get gone,

I’ve no longer narc problems, I shine like the sun,

I’ve got 99 solutions and the narc has gone (no contact)

35 thoughts on “99 Problems (But A Narc Ain´t One)

  1. Claire says:

    Awesome👍🏻! Love it 😍! Thanks HG, reading that poem made day :)!

    The Narcs hurt me and have me grief
    In HG Tudor’ s wise words I found relief
    No more pain and misery
    No Contact is my sweetest victory

    No more fears , no more tears
    Reading HG every day
    Prevents to be ensnared again

  2. Pati says:

    Amazing HG love it. Congrats to each and everyone one of you who used the Golden rule of freedom GOSO. I don’t think I can ever have that strength. I hope one day that I could.

  3. Bekah B says:

    Ayyyyeeee!!!! 😎🎤

    1. blackunicorn123 says:

      Hey BB, how are things with you and the (not so new) baby?

      1. Bekah B says:

        Hey There blackunicorn123,

        Me and my baby son are doing really well.. Him more so than me, of course.. I still have my days where my heart just wrenches in pain and upset, trying to cope with his father not being here for him, not only because of his own accord and inaction, but also because he is deployed overseas in Kuwait for the next 6+ months.. Although I feel I should be completely indifferent to this, I can’t bring it upon myself to just not care.. The disengagement is the same and constantly lengthening, but my mind worries for him being in a hazardous area and so many miles away from home and familiarity.. My emotional thinking is still present, however, not as prevalent as it was in the first 6 weeks of postpartum.. So I can truly say I am doing better, but I know I still have a long way to go.. I still get upset weekly and re-live memories of my entire relationship with my ex-Narc in the past four years.. My most recent thoughts are captured in a letter to him that was recently posted.. Letter to the Narcissist No. 116..

        My son is sooo incredibly precious.. I miss him all the time when I am at my job during the week, and cannot wait to get off and go home and unwind with him.. He’s 2 months now and getting stronger, trying to hold his little head up and look around, and pushing up while on his tummy.. The newborn days are my favorite and I am enjoying every minute of them in my baby..

        Thank you so much for thinking of me and asking how we are doing.. I hope all is well with you!

        1. blackunicorn123 says:

          Thank you so much for replying, BB. I’m really pleased to hear you are having a wonderful time with your son, even though you are struggling with thoughts about your ex. I saw your letter, it was very well written and heartfelt. It’s good to get it out. You may never know why, but that is part of the game. Sometimes, the not knowing is the hardest part. For me, I got my closure from HG and his work, and even though it is not coming from my or your ex, it still holds true. You need that closure. HG affirms that there is nothing you, personally, could have done to prevent any of this, because it’s an inevitable part of the dynamic. You can take away that you tried your best in impossible circumstances – hold your head up high and know this is true. You did not let you or your children down, and you are showing amazing strength by carrying on in spite of it all.
          Sadly, I’m sure he’s enjoying his new surroundings. There are new people to manipulate and new games to play. Awful, but probably true.
          I hope you continue onwards in your healing journey. You are doing so well, particularly with all those hormones raging around, and probably lack of sleep too! That is not easy so respect to you!!!
          Thank you again for replying. Xx

          1. Bekah B says:

            Ah yes, you are correct in stating it is a part of the game of the narcissist to never know the answers to all of the “Why?” and “How could you. . .?” questions.. I am glad you have achieved freedom through HG.. I know I will arrive to closure as well, some day..

            I actually do conclude that I did the best that I could do throughout all of these years, and strangely, I do not regret all the love I have given him.. There’s something about knowing you gave it all you had, fighting til the death of it and not holding back a single thing throughout the entire dynamic that really keeps you from regretting or wanting to change anything you ever did while within it..

            I try to put as little effort as possible on what ex-Narc is up to nowadays, besides trying to preserve his comfort and his life while deployed away overseas in the Army.. My mind often drifts to our past days together, but I am almost always able to reign back in those thoughts and ultimately focus on and accept the present day and how I feel 100% disconnected from him now.. I will continue on this journey and prayerfully come out of this with no hard feelings towards him..

            Thank you so much for your compliments.. I really appreciate you checking in on me and I hope all is well with you!!

          2. blackunicorn123 says:

            You’re welcome, BB. I really hope you someday find peace xx

  4. Veronique Jones says:

    Love this 😍😍

  5. Pingback: 99 Problems (But A Narc Ain´t One) ⋆ NarcTopia
  6. Cyn says:

    This is awesome lol! Now I’m going bot have that melody stuck in my head all day though …

  7. cogra002 says:

    Wait…what! Did u write that HG? Now you’re a rapping Narc?
    I need the rap video for this.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Of course I did. Shizzle ma nizzle fo sho, and so on.

      1. Joanne says:

        “and so on” 😂

      2. cogra002 says:

        Video! (Neck up, so u can maintain secret identity). Fo Sho!

        1. cogra002 says:

          Oops, I meant fo shizzle

      3. cogra002 says:

        Well HG! In reference to your post about swimming for land:

        Last Wednesday I quietly slipped into the water, swimming for land. By Friday the Narc cast a line to fetch me back, but I dodged and kept swimming.
        Saturday kept swimming.
        Swam Sunday. Sunday early evening, the Narc jumped in his motor boat, floored it, pulled me out of the water into the boat, and sped back to Narc Island, where he wrapped a towel around me, and said “Stay put. You belong here.”, hugged and kissed me and disappeared to make sure no one else was thinking of escaping.
        So I’m all Narked up again. Sorry…..so disappointing

        1. Kim e says:

          just start over…..it happens.
          I unblocked and reblocked mine 6 time Sunday night. Not sure why…….just brush ourselves off and start over.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            You did so because emotional thinking convinced you to do so and thus the logic of GOSO was ignored, then it returned, then it was ignored.

          2. Kim e says:

            HG…..You did so because emotional thinking convinced you to do so and thus the logic of GOSO was ignored, then it returned, then it was ignored.

            But in the end Logic won and I am still no contact. My ET is very high these days…..maybe because of my carpet cleaning on Friday.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            You are not still no contact, you breached it. However, you have re-established it, which is good. Change your number.

          4. Kim e says:

            HG…I dont want to play this game any longer. I am taking my bat & ball and going home…..
            I was not hoovered on my phone……I was passive hoovered outside my office building. I have asked

          5. HG Tudor says:

            You kept unblocking him Kim E, as you explained in your own comment. That will in all likelihood have encouraged the passive hoover. If you ignore the passive hoover, you wound, this raises the Hoover Bar.

          6. Kim e says:

            HG….. I admit that I unblocked and reblocked again 6 times within 4 minutes.
            How would he have any idea that I did this without texting me?
            And if he did not know I did it, how did it encourage a passive hoover?
            I did ignore it. I saw him out of the corner of my eye and just kept my head straight and walked. Obviously it effected me but he got no indication that it did.
            Not trying to argue…just trying to understand

          7. HG Tudor says:

            If you were unblocking him on certain apps he would be aware.

            You did the right thing by walking on and ignoring him.

          8. Kim e says:

            HG…OH NO. I did not unblock on any apps. Only texting. Only way he would have know is if he text me.
            Happy Monday………………

          9. Kim e says:

            HG…I am getting anonymous calls at work. I know it is the N and I just ignore the calls…doesnt bother me.
            But what is the purpose? Does he think this will make me think…”OH, this must be my N. Let me give him a buzz and chat him up.”
            Does he think that I think it is him?
            Thanks as always

          10. HG Tudor says:

            It is to seek to assert control over you by causing you to respond, so he thus gains control and fuel.

          11. Kim e says:

            He believes that I know it is him making these calls? Of course he does…why else bother.
            Does it wound when the calls are not returned or contact made by me?

          12. HG Tudor says:

            He does.
            He is gaining Thought Fuel at the present time because he is making “anonymous” calls, but this Thought Fuel will fail and he will be wounded when there is no response thereafter.

          13. Kim e says:

            HG. Is this like the stuff he leaves on my car? To try and get me to react?

          14. HG Tudor says:


          15. cogra002 says:


  8. Twilight says:

    99 problems and a narc is one of them…..professionally.

    He tells me this past week “things work better under my dictatorship” The “I am a god” I have to walk the hell away before my facial expressions get me fired.

    He is a Greater, he won in court and now has taken control of the office I work in…..I was the only employee he kept……

    I have observed him for a year so I am not making a quick judgment on his school, facts and behaviors

    I find myself in hell once again.

    1. WhoCares says:

      Oh man… Twilight…I don’t think I could work for a narc (anymore) – especially a lesser or mid-ranger…nevermind a Greater!

      On a positive, your current profile pic is beautiful!

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