15 Seductive Spikes



Our seductive tendrils wrap around the unsuspecting and draw them into our false reality. We have many ways of effecting this seduction, from the outrageous declarations of premature love, to the excessive texting and messaging, from the gifts and attentiveness to the fantastic sex. There are many strings to our bow when it comes to seducing our victims. We love the allure of the triangle. Bringing someone else or something else into the dynamic between you and me generates endless possibilities for fuel, control and manipulation. Triangulation is seen throughout the narcissistic dance and appears more than you may realise at the outset of your relationship with our kind. Of course our most serious and intense seductive techniques are reserved for our intimate partners who become our primary source of fuel, but we triangulate everybody who we wish to draw fuel from. Whether you are a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or someone who is an acquaintance, we will triangulate you in some way.

When triangulation is used in seduction it will be done to portray ourselves as a good and decent person and on the receiving end of some unpleasant and undeserved behaviour from a different source, in order to make you admire us for dealing with this unnecessary attack or provide us with affection to make us feel better or sympathy in respect of our predicament. You are made to think that we are explaining our position and you are made to feel special because we are telling you about something that apparently is troubling us. The reality is that this is being done in order to draw an appropriate reaction from you for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is also designed to make you think that there is something you can do to assist us and help us and therefore gain favour with us through this action .Here are fifteen of these regularly used techniques which may be familiar to you or what you ought to be looking out for.

  1. My wife doesn’t understand me.
  2. My husband has no interest in sex with me anymore.
  3. My children don’t respect me.
  4. My parents expect me to be their full-time carers.
  5. My boss is a tyrant.
  6. My team are incompetent.
  7. My supplier is unreliable.
  8. My neighbour is inconsiderate.
  9. My partner never listens.
  10. My boyfriend spends all of his time with his friends rather than me.
  11. My girlfriend spends all my money.
  12. My friends expect me to be available all of the time.
  13. My partner just doesn’t appreciate what I do.
  14. My girlfriend would rather play Candy Crush than talk to me.
  15. My children never ring me to see how I am.

12 thoughts on “15 Seductive Spikes

  1. Joanne says:

    “…you are made to feel special because we are telling you about something that apparently is troubling us.”

    Wow, I was such a sucker for this. I’ve always known I’ve been somewhat of a magnet for “wounded birds,” but now it is so clear WHY. The concept (that I created) was that they were allowing me into their world and trusting me with this “vulnerability.” I believed these strong men were “letting me in” when they would share this personal information, because I was special. “My mother left me as a child / my family hates me / my ex is crazy, abusive, a horrible mother / BLA BLA BLA.” I would immediately soften and snap into savior/good listener/amateur therapist mode. Be the salve to soothe all their wounds. Ugh.

  2. deniseisdone says:

    This doesn’t belong here but I need to vent so I’m sorry. I was on a group site and a lady made the comment about HG (he’s evil pure evil) which didn’t set well with me so I replied with the important information regarding HG! HG admits being a narc but he also HELPS us to avoid them!! I’m upset b/c that little comment could/would prevent ppl from getting the correct help. I’ve put NARCSITE.COM all over that group as have a few others – showing them the way to self help!! I’ve also asked one particular lady who is wonderful to please start a thread in the TRUE ways of NC. Ok…I’m going to leave this right here and please tell me if you believe I’m wrong – Thank ya’ll…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for doing so. The person who made the comment about me will likely be a jealous narcissist (though will not know it) there are a few of them that are always making a song and dance trying to gain fuel either from me or because of me. The empaths who do not like me, just go elsewhere.

      1. deniseisdone says:

        Thank you for responding and not to be disrespectful but those who go elsewhere are only doing an injustice to themselves. I’ve listened to some others and some are giving incorrect information (gray rock) and another one speaks you’re name at times which speaks volumes to me!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed and you are welcome.

    2. K says:

      Not at all, you did the right thing and I’m surprised you weren’t malign hoovered/blackballed.

      1. deniseisdone says:

        Good morning K. May I ask why I would be blacked balled or Hoovered? I am of the frame of mind that HG admits to being a narc (honesty) and he is just giving ppl the knowledge to help us…I just don’t understand and I apologize. My pain is slightly fresh but when I first found him I was a total wreck so I strongly believe he can help all of us. Thank you for replying and yes I am going to keep pushing his name and work. I know of 5 other ppl from that group that comes here now and are doing wonderful – they’re so knowledgeable and a lot stronger. Wish me the best!! HUGS!!!

        1. K says:

          Good morning deniseisdone,
          Sorry about the misunderstanding. Allow me to clarify, I meant blackballed from the group site, not narcsite. It’s my understanding that other forums can be infiltrated by MMRNs, who believe they are victims and empaths, and I have read, here on narcsite, that participants have been bullied/blocked by these moderators/members.

          Good work! Keep pushing and it was good to read that 5 others are here and doing wonderful because of you. Wishing you the best and hugs to you, too!!!

          1. deniseisdone says:

            K totally understand! I went and put up a post after I asked you my question and for a lot of hits and questions!!! Made me happy…ppl are asking questions and appeared genuinely interested. Thank you for all and have a great day!!!

          2. K says:

            My pleasure deniseisdone
            Good to read; keep on plugging!

  3. liza says:

    My narc did such a good job earning my trust, that even when he trayed to triangulate me with one of his IPSS, i didn’t get jealous and presumed she was just his friend, he even went so far as to introduce her to me, her and i spent a verry nice evening, he even protested that he is being ignored, he never did it again. I dicovered later who she realy is.

  4. kaydiva3 says:

    Yep, heard just about all of those, or some variation of them. If only I had known then. Glad to know what to listen for now.

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