Narc Magnet

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You are a magnet. You attract our kind. You have done so at least once and you will continue to do so. Again and again. There is no hope for anything else. As an empath, super empath or co-dependent you radiate with the traits which draw us to you. Hitherto you had no awareness that this was the case. You would enter a room and be oblivious to the heads that turned your way as our kind detected your presence. You would have noticed that you were receiving the attention of people, but back then you had no knowledge of who was engaging with you or why that was the case. You have several sets of traits which appeal to us. These are the empathic traits, the class traits and the special traits. It is your empathic traits which stand out most of all.

These are evident in the way that you behave, the words you say, the gestures you use and the expressions that form on your face. The way your interact with people, the way you look about a room, the way you walk, the way you sit, the place you decide to sit and so many other things indicate to us your empathic nature. In the same way that everything we do is marked with the taint of our narcissism, everything that you do is stamped with the essence of your empathic traits.

When you walk into the hunting ground of our kind, you are identified promptly as exhibiting potential. It as if you give off a fuel signature, like some kind of scent which our kind smells and recognises as soon as you come near. You once did not see the Lesser as he leant against the bar and noticed you as soon as you entered the premises, his eyes fixed on you as he observed your entrance. The Mid-Ranger would look up from where was sat and find himself drawn to you, that unmistakable essence which you give off, being picked up and identified. Both Lesser and Mid-Range would not know why they wanted to engage with you save that they felt a compulsion to do so.

This need arises in the same way that a lion knows that it is hungry and therefore it must find some prey. The Lesser and the Mid-Ranger’s antennae twitch as you the empath walk through the bar. They are alerted to your presence and then they will watch and pick up on the other indicators which tell them what you are.

The Greater sees you and knows what you are. His lascivious grin indicative of the thoughts which are running through his mind as he begins to assess your suitability. You are signalling to him who you are, that you are empathic, that fuel is passing him by and an opportunity has presented itself.

Once upon a time you were oblivious. You walked through this den of narcissistic intent, unaware of the parasitic creatures that waited to climb down from their waiting perches so that they could engage with you, coil about you and draw you into their web with their silver-tongues and charm. You just thought they were being pleasant, polite and taking an interest. You had no idea how much danger you were in as you allowed your empathic traits to shine like a beacon. Each and every day you radiated these traits, issuing a sub-conscious “come and get me” to our kind. How good it felt to receive this attention. How pleasant it was to be courted in this manner.

As our kind picked up on your empathic scent and were drawn to you, they sought additional confirmations, assessing your class traits and hopefully special traits too, through a combination of instinct and design, dependent on which school of narcissist you had engaged with.

You do this as as easily as you inhale and exhale. Your traits are imprinted on you and they are indelible. They are part of your core and you cannot remove them. You cannot flick a switch and turn off these empathic traits. They are you. Imagine you will if some kind of glasses were created which allowed a physical representation of your empathic traits as hues of red light. If one donned those glasses and looked into this hunting ground as above, a bar perhaps, then one would see several things.

First there would be the normals who would have a slight red glow about them, indicating some empathic traits but limited in number and extent. There would be the dark and empty spaces which are where our kind lurk, the empathic traits completely devoid. Next one would see the dancing trails of scarlet and rose that signify the empath. The roaring flames of riotous red which blaze and indicate the presence of the super empath and then the supernova of bright red which is the signature of the co-dependent. As your gaze swept the room, one would see these differing hues and varying intensity, all indicative of the ever present empathic traits.

It is impossible for you to become incognito. You are unable to remove your empathic traits. You cannot switch them off and pass undetected. Accordingly, you will always stand out to our kind. You will always be identifiable, you will be seen and therefore if our kind is in the vicinity, whether physically proximate or through the accessibility of technology, we will be drawn to you. Like sharks which scent blood, like the hungry dog which smells meat, we pick you out and converge on you in anticipation of the fuel that will flow from you.

You will aways be a magnet for our kind. You have been created with empathic traits and you will always keep them. You will remain that beacon which we see and flock to. You will always attract us.

Of course you may learn to dampen down the manifestation of your empathic traits by altering some of your behaviours. Certain actions, words and gestures might be reduced, lessened and altered to reduce the extent of the empathic traits which you exhibit, but your traits always shine through and you cannot maintain this cloaking for long. It is contrary to who you are how you conduct yourself. Your empathic traits are so extensive that even when you have suffered the beasting at our hands and mouths, that when you have been drained, numbed and exhausted, the empathic traits will remain.

The empath will not shine with them as brightly and following the full horror of the devaluation and discard,t he empath will not function with such an obvious display of empathic traits because the brutality of the treatment will cause some diminution in function and display.

The super empath will continue to display these empathic traits because this person has the capacity to endure so much and then still have sufficient function to escape what has happened, once there is the eventual realisation as to what has happened. Once the super empath has had enough, they will seek their escape and their empathic traits continue to shine brightly.

The co-dependent, no matter how brow-beaten, how ground into the dirt he or she is, will continue to exhibit those empathic traits because the co-dependent would rather give you his or her last breath rather than take it for themselves. They continue to give, even when there seems there is nothing more that can be taken and thus their empathic traits remain on display.

This is why it is so often the case that you are almost passed from one of our kind to another. You are discarded but your empathic traits remain evident and thus another of our kind flocks to you, ready to gorge on the fuel which is generated by your empathic traits. Even if you escape, you continue to signal your suitability to us. You are unable to do anything other than stand out in this way.

It is only when you have gained the insight and understanding into knowing who it is that you keep attracting and why, that you finally learn what to watch out for. You cannot change what you are, indeed, why should you? What you can alter is your ability to identify us when we make that bee-line for you. As you radiate empathic traits, we also exhibit the narcissistic traits which once understood and once recognised in the behaviour of the everyday, mean you finally see and take notice of the red flags, flashing lights and blaring klaxons which herald this danger.

You will always be destined to be a magnet for us. That will never change. We will flock to you, be attracted to you and seek you out, our instincts seeking that scent of the empath which tells us that our needs will be met and fuel will be provided.

You will draw our interest and attention because the empathic traits flow from you. You will, once you gain the knowledge and understanding, know who it is who has joined you at the bar and flashed you that winning smile and then you can the seize the power.

40 thoughts on “Narc Magnet

  1. Witch says:

    HG, it would be good if you could make more articles about narcissists as friends.
    I think I’ve come across another of your kind, (possibly just highly narcissistic.)
    Helped her in a time of crisis, now she appears to want to latch onto me, referred to herself as a “best friend” even though I’ve only known her personally for a few months. She doesn’t currently have a partner.
    When I told her I don’t want to maintain a friendship, mainly because of her sense of entitlement she completely ignored what I said and continued to talk about herself…extremely bizarre behaviour and way of communicating.
    I think narcissistic “friends” may be slightly more difficult to spot than partners due to the fact that you may not be their main target but none the less they want you around for your empathetic traits and your favours

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Witch (are you getting excited for next week?!)

      I recommend you run her through the Narc Detector. There was an article recently published about the 7 Truths About Narcissistic Friendships.

      1. Witch says:

        As an non-narc I will always have doubt that someone is a narcissist.
        She doesn’t fit the narcissistic criteria in the sense that I can not figure out who her primary source is, since she has no family and no partner.
        She’s been diagnosed with adjustment disorder with a high sense entitlement.
        She lacks respect for other people’s boundaries which means you have to keep repeating yourself, she’s controlling even when shes trying to “help” it’s a forceful help, she’s said she can work in a team as long as the other team members are not “stupid.” She’ll make herself real comfortable in your home by offering advice on how she thinks you should decorate and also by going into your bedroom! I gave her a chance at first because she can be slightly charming, but at the same time her aura/energy just makes you feel on edge even when you can not really describe why..
        Also she reports the most the petty things to the police when she’s “stressed” and therefore wastes their time. She’s paranoid.
        So this is why I believe she may be a narc but no Primary source?
        Maybe a psychopath
        I will check back next week, thanks

  2. FoolMe1Time says:

    Hi HG,
    Thank you for answering my questions. So if I’m understanding this correctly ( which I’m probably not ) a CoD is not a school of empath? Since you can’t have two schools? Also I understand why you cannot answer or make corrections because of time you don’t have available to do so, My question was more for you in the way you have changed your thinking, ( If you have indeed done so ) concerning CoD since you have been in therapy. Again thank you for replying back.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

      No, CoD is a school of empath. You can have traits from all schools.
      No I have not changed my view following the involvement of the good doctors.

      1. FoolMe1Time says:

        I somehow have confused myself in all of this and I’m sorry! I looked at my own empath detector and realized what I had done. This is one reason you will not be receiving ten questions submitted by me, ( I will allow the ones on here with degrees to take care of that) again I am sorry for taking up your time! Thanks HG

        1. MommyPino says:

          Hi Foolme, I have always found your comments very substantial and your advices very wise. A degree cannot always provide that to people. You have that natural in you.

          1. FoolMe1Time says:

            Thank you MP for your kind words sweetie. Sometimes being wise means knowing your limitations and choosing your battles wisely. Sitting in a time out does mean you are not still part of the team. 😘💞

          2. MommyPino says:

            Thank you Foolme. You’re a good person. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

          3. FoolMe1Time says:

            So are you sweet girl! 😘💞

  3. Mary Robinson says:

    So very informative.

  4. Autiempath says:

    Excellent artikle again!
    HG, can i order a book from you about reducing emotional thinking?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, you need to consult with me to address that, Autiempath.

      1. Autiempath says:

        Oké, thank you.

  5. liza says:

    I will never forget the first time i saw him looking at me, (i don’t know if it was the first he saw me thought) the expression “settiing target ” can’t be more suited to any othersituation than that one. it was 3 years ago, he was with my predessesor and i passed by, he was shamlessely satring at me even being with his girlfriend, at the moment my friends and i thought it was an enamoured stare , how fare from the truth we were. then i found out that we shared somme classes and during those he is always siting either in the sit behinde me, or in front of mine, he didn’t talk to me but always smiling at me, opening politely the door and all …
    my best friend with whom i’m always with since middle school is objectivelly a beauty, and clearely more beautifull than me, but when we are toghether she is nearly never bothered or bulied by guys, i was always puzzeled to what i’m doing to have so much trouble, i wear jeans and geek t-shirts there is nothing feminin about me. but whenever a weirdo is near by, he is for bibi, i’v been told 4 times by boys during the last 3 yars that they wanted to see me cry.

  6. Lorelei says:

    I actually felt physically nauseated yesterday receiving a text from my children’s father. I’ve used the expression perhaps that he grossed me out but I actually felt sick because I had mostly shut that conduit down and it felt violating/intrusive. I would rather have a cock roach infestation than live with another life sucking parasite. Add bed bugs to the list. I’d rather have both varieties of bugs. In my bed. I’m not kidding. Add dog hair.

    1. Getting There says:

      Lorelai, I had a couple of times I would feel nauseated when I would be contacted by one of my narcissists. I literally shook and couldn’t eat the food I had made. That upset me the most that I didn’t have the opportunity to enjoy eating those times.

      1. Lorelei says:

        Getting there—I think a reply went through before I was done. If not—the nausea resolved and I’ve eaten everything in site today. Everything. Bacon, eggs, salad.. Jelly beans. Ridiculous—so much so that maybe my ex should text to make sick again. I could vomit and it would be a good thing!

        1. Getting There says:

          That’s great that the nausea is gone! It appears to me that you celebrated with protein, fat free dessert, and salad.
          Wouldn’t it be great if we could have it happen when we need the dietary assistance? “Thanks for texting, I have lost my appetite or want to throw up, and now I am not eating the large slice of cake in front of me.” It will save on working out to fit in clothes!

          1. Lorelei says:

            Getting there—I really needed the jelly beans. Won’t touch them again until Easter.

          2. Getting There says:

            Jelly beans are awesome! I like the classic flavors. Today
            I splurged on Yorks before a run. The jelly beans and the Yorks are all fat free, so it is all healthy, right? LOL
            I hope today was a great day for you and that soon he won’t have any impact on you!

  7. icelady says:

    I am a super empath with a history of codependency. I think that the experience of narcissist abuse by various narcissists has done me a favour in a way, I had my emotional thinking reduced a lot, learned about red flags of the narcissist kind and I can “sense” early on whether a person I interact with has some narcissistic traits or not (if yes, I feel repulsed to connect with him or her, that’s what I noticed). I also noticed that the three narcissists in my close circle, that is, my father, my ex and my ex MIL, have been keeping their distance and changing their behaviour accordingly, there were a few hoovers during that time but they were more like checking the state of the hunting ground, not full-blown hoovers. Dear HG Tudor, do you think your kind will still invest time in hoovering such empowered empaths (I mean those with reduced ET) because it is dangerous, they can lose them eventually because they have reduced ET and know the red flags and are not that easy to seduce and to maintain. Or will it be in some cases? I mean, is it of any use to you, I suppose it is more convenient to hunt new targets?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The narcissists will not know that the relevant individuals have reduced emotional thinking.

      1. Alexissmith2016 says:

        Interesting reply HG, but when we’re interacting with a new N and we have reduced ET would they realise that there manipulation tactics aren’t working?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          They would pick up on the failure to control, of course this would not be a conscious awareness.

          1. Alexissmith2016 says:

            Ah great thanks HG!

      2. FoolMe1Time says:

        Is it even possible for a super empath to have a history of CoD? I was under the impression that just like a narcissist cannot change schools, neither can an empath, did I miss understand this? I do know that in older comments readers did not think a CoD was an empath and at times you did not correct these comments, have you changed your mind concerning the CoD over the years because of the knowledge you are gaining? I do know ( according to you ) that a CoD can have different cadres, example: Geyser, Contagion, and still be CoD as the school. I also noticed in older comments ( not so much anymore ) if you were marked as CoD people actually looked down at that and want nothing to do with being branded as such, perhaps because of it being seen as more of a mental issue, or perhaps being to closely associated with being the Ying, to the narcissists Yang? I have noticed a stigma being put on a CoD that I truly at times have trouble controlling my emotions about it, it is a self esteem issue with me at times because when someone finds out that you are CoD they become afraid you will attach to them! As for myself this could not be any further from the truth, ( I am the one that will run from a normal relationship with someone, that does not just include romantic relationships, but any type of healthy relationship with anyone. ) my attachment has always been with men and after a considerable amount of work with you, I have learned it is an attachment to solely narcissistic men! I need your help with this one oh wise one? Thanks HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hello FM1T,

          1. A Super Empath can have CoD traits.
          2. If I do not correct a comment, this is not because I agree, it is because I have not had time to do so.
          3. Yes, CoDs have different cadres.
          4. You are correct that CoD can produce a stigmatised response from some.

  8. Kristen Porterfield says:

    Amber is the color of my energy. And my hair. Your kind can’t touch this!!
    I now know your kind, and shine brighter and more brilliant than ever. Thanx HG. You’re the best!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed and you’re welcome

  9. Whitney says:

    My mum said I attract narcissists because I’m expressive and empathetic when I talk to people. So I ‘observed’ myself listening to people last night and I do have a big reaction to everything they say.
    I love interacting with empaths who are expressive too

    1. Whitney says:

      I realised afterwards people told me their problems during the night:

      1. A girl told me about her recent struggle with terrible acne
      2. A girl told me about her terrible day and why she’s worried for work tomorrow
      3. A guy told me he doesn’t know his direction is in life. He feels aimless

      This was within 2 hours and there were others too! I LOVE it. I THRIVE on it. I’m a counsellor. I wouldn’t have realised if not for the “Empath” identity. I had no self-awareness The Empath Detector gave me a positive outcome after the Narcissistic abuse.

      These people know I’m a Carrier Empath and they are now in my system for counselling and support

    2. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

      Whitney: I see no absolutely reason that normal and emphatic men would not also delight in you. Have you left room in your life, that they can engage with you? I hope you have done so. Or, are doing so. Find a fun and loving one. Enough of going through that rough cycle. Clear out the clutter. There are less and less psychologically available non-narc men now, because Narcissist women are ploughing through them and leaving them abandoned and used up on the highways and byways as if there is no tomorrow. But there are still some good ones left. Barely. Keep a look out. At some point we need to say we have given enough for the cause of Narcissism. We gave at the office. We gave a lot of our lives, in fact. More valuable than a monetary donation. Invaluable. It is Time for us to move on, while there is still some Time left. Time can run out, remember. Then what.

      1. Whitney says:

        Thank you PSE, you are interesting and I love it when you reply to me.

        Normal and Empath men don’t pursue me. Dangerous men are drawn to me. Normal men might know this instinctively and stay away from me.

        The man I was with for 12 years was psychopathic. I was the only thing he ever loved, and he didn’t dream except for killing other men who tried to be with me.

        I thought the MMR Somatic was my first Empathic man but he’s a Narcissist according the Narcissist Detector Service.

        There’s a second MMR Somatic at the sport I play and he likes me. But he doesn’t pursue me because my MMR is more crazy and aggressive.

        Even Narcissistic men don’t pursue me, only full blown Narcissists or Psychopaths. If a man pursues me it’s a red flag.

        1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

          Whitney: Wow. I am speechless. After some point, you may have to ask HG what to do about this, if you have not done so. I find it quite alarming. And, I will be careful for myself in the future. What is going on with the MMR somatic. What sport do you play? Is it teeming with Narcissists for some reason? I sure hope it is not American Football. Just jesting. I do play softball. I plan to join an adult amateur league next summer. Those teams are raining men. I better be careful. Darn.

        2. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

          Whitney: Generally, it is usually best for women to not pursue men, especially too overtly, for the long run, but in your case, you may have to have some different strategies up your sleeves. Of subtle pursuit. Dropping that handkerchief `accidentally` at times. Your situation is worrisome. Well, you know where to go and to whom to counsel if anything overheats.

          1. Whitney says:

            hehe that sounds fun playing softball PSE 😀 maybe I shouldn’t say my sport because it’s too specific for others to read.

            My only dates were with the UMR Elite and the MMR Somatic. I asked both of them initially. The UMR Elite showed he liked me by giving me his business card and other things but I asked him on the first date. After that he asked me on dates.

            I asked the MMR Somatic straight away because I wanted to make the UMR jealous. The MMR Somatic is the most confident man. He wasn’t nervous and he initiates everything now.

            I went to the Orchestra with one other man. I think he’s Narcissistic.

            I saw my friend (a Geyser Magnet Empath) get asked out by more guys in one night than I have ever.

            The other MMR Somatic shows he likes me with eye contact and big smile, kind of like dropping his handkerchief. He’s excluding my MMR Somatic from social events, even though my MMR Somatic has been part of that group for 5 years.

            I like to watch my MMR Somatic target the other one who likes me during the sport. They run alongside each other and clash. I love it.

            My MMR Somatic told me he’s addicted to power and I think he’s very insightful and cognisant. I’m infatuated with him so I think he’s a Greater Narcissist. But HG says he’s Midrange and HG is always right. The MMR even told me he’s a narcissist.

            Thank you PSE <3

  10. Amanda says:

    As a supernova who has been caught up in Narcs’ webs most of my life, this is very article is very empowering; however, how do I detect your kind? How can I train myself to see your traits? Please help! I don’t want to end up in hell again !!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Amanda,

      1. You need to reduce your emotional thinking. To do that, book a consultation with me and I will assist you.
      2. Read Red Flag and Black Flag to know the signs. You must however have reduced ET otherwise you will not act on the Red and Black Flags.

    2. sedthat says:

      Amanda, because I’ve been reading our HG’s words, I finally picked up on AND believed the red flags. The self aware part that I got out of it was scary too. The guy was the only guy in the entire pub that I even found attractive. I’ve been shook up over that part. But within 30 minutes after the little group departed he was calling me, messaging me, suggesting what I should do. I asked him to not call me as I was about to relax and prep for sleep. An hour later I was on social media and he messages me and says that I see you are still awake. I ignored him. The next morning he messaged and phoned. I blocked him. But maybe I “detected” he needed a lot of my trait skills. And come to find out his 21 year old was killed last xmas by a drunken driver so…

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