What Am I To The Narcissist? Where You Sit in The Narcissist’s Fuel Matrix.


Having ascertained that you are entangled with a narcissist is one thing, but it is also fundamental for you to understand where you sit in the narcissist’s fuel matrix because you might be in for something of a surprise?

Your position in the fuel matrix is critical for a number of reasons, including :-

  • Understanding the impact this has on the risk of being hoovered by the narcissist
  • The likelihood of malign hoovers and/or malice campaigns against you
  • How the narcissist will respond when you escape the narcissist
  • Why the narcissist is behaving towards you in the way that they are currently (seduction, devaluation or disengagement)
  • Will there be devaluation and how it will manifest
  • The likelihood of competing interests in the fuel matrix
  • How your no contact regime will be affected and best applied
  • Who else might be in the fuel matrix you were unaware of

Plus much more!

Are you the Intimate Partner Primary Source or actually a Shelf Dirty Little Secret?

Are you placed in the Virtual Fuel Matrix and positioned as a Shelf Non Intimate Secondary Source?

Are you a Shelf Intimate Partner Secondary Source and there is actually an IPPS you did not know about?

Just US $ 100 ensures you understand what you are to the narcissist and this will then provide you with a platform for greater understanding of what you can do and what to expect.


  1. Please effect payment using the PayPal button below.
  2. I will then send you a Common Sense Protocol which governs the terms of the consultation.
  3. I will then send you a questionnaire for your completion.
  4. You submit the questionnaire to me and I shall analyse your responses.
  5. I will provide you with the analysis of where you sit in the narcissist’s fuel matrix and therefore what you mean to the narcissist. You then have a platform for gaining further understanding and freedom.
  6. My analysis will be provided within 96 hours of receipt of your submission. This infrequently may be extended where there are high demands for consultations and/or I have external commitments which impact on delivery time.

Where am I in the Fuel Matrix


5 thoughts on “What Am I To The Narcissist? Where You Sit in The Narcissist’s Fuel Matrix.

  1. Alexissmith2016 says:

    Violetta, that’s really truly heartbreaking to read. You are beautiful. We don’t need validation from anyone. They just say anything at all. One of my friends also ensnared by an N was slim, funny, attractive incredibly popular, intelligent excellent career and yet he made her feel like you describe too.

    They are just projecting. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel this way again. You’re beautiful and their opinion counts for nothing at all.

    1. Violetta says:

      My type has changed since then: last three roles were a pushy Victorian matron, a snotty French serving maid, and a sex-crazed Athenian housewife, but I’m less arsed about it. I never wanted to be one of those H’wood types who are the hottest romantic leads/flavors-of-the-month–and then their careers are virtually over.
      Character actors can work forever, and I don’t care if it’s all church basements and community theatres, as long as I get to do it, and I can pay the rent somehow, even if it’s a day job in something else.

      Gladys Cooper was a beautiful stage actress and Edwardian postcard model when she was young:



      At the end of her career, which was around 70 years, she played dithery old ladies.

      As for love, if I couldn’t pull it off when I was younger and comparatively hot, maybe I should forget about it now.

      Or get a puppy.

      1. Mercy says:

        Violetta, I read your comment and thought atta girl. Not only are you a character actor but you have character which is far more valuable than the superficial beauty. As far as love, who could say no to a puppy?

        1. Violetta says:

          Thank you, Mercy, now let’s hope I get a better job so I can afford a puppy.

  2. Violetta says:

    So that’s why Wannabe Playuh-Narc looked at my empty cubicle when I was on vacation and asked Loki, “Where’s my little friend?” That’s why he continued his hot-cold snotty banter routine with me at the office while he was dating various girls, instead of being polite but distant so I’d know he wasn’t interested. That’s why the hang-up calls after we weren’t working there anymore escalated when the latest girlfriend dumped him.

    I was backup fuel.

    I couldn’t imagine why he’d want me to be attracted to him if he wasn’t trying to use me for sex. Yes, it might feed his ego, but if he didn’t think I was physically attractive, how would that feed his ego or his image with the guys? Most people don’t find it flattering to be the object of desire for someone who creeps them out.

    But because I was insecure, I doubted myself. I discounted the guys who did find me attractive, (although I tried not to lead them on because I’m not him). Yes, I had played ingenues, but that was 6 coats of makeup and lots of lighting. Maybe I was aging out of that type, even though I’d just played a teen the year before. The fact that I’d seen 18-year-olds play the saggy, baggy strippers in “Gypsy” while people in their 20s and 30s played the kids in the vaudeville act, that actors routinely play their type, not their age (my father in Our Town was 3 years younger than I was) didn’t stop me from worrying that maybe I was just losing my looks. And while I worried about that, I simultaneously felt like every awkward age had returned: scrawny, bucktoothed kid; lumpy, wire-toothed teen. I was too thin, too fat, read “all these weird books,” as he’d said when he saw me with some textbooks from night school, so I was too smart, but I was also stupid because I didn’t have the latest technology (which I couldn’t afford because I wasn’t living in my parents’ basement, whic I didn’t know he’d lied about). Despite everything is ever struggled to achieve, I felt completely worthless.

    And that’s exactly what he wanted.

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