The First No Contact
The first no contact the empath did try,
Was to certain dire narcs to counter their lies,
The hoovers they used to lure them back in,
But the empath was not fooled by that oh so false grin,
No C, No C, No C, No C,
No contact ends the misery.
The empath stayed focussed and then blocked the ‘phone,
And kept the narc from their email, their messages and home,
They studied hard and they all read HG,
So they understood that his works would give liberty,
No C, No C, No C, No c,
No contact will set you free.
And so the defences were built, both firm and high,
The empath knew not to laugh, smile, shout or cry,
Thus starved of the fuel and feeling beat,
The wounded narc withdrew and beat a retreat,
No C, No C, No C, No C
No contact will secure your destiny
32 thoughts on “The First No Contact”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Good one, HG. Now to memorize the words.
Best one yet, HG.
Thanks for all you do for the Narc victim Community. You are a lifesaver.
Things are finally settling down for me here, so I’ll read thru your pricing and consultations, and maybe get myself No Contact for the New Yr!
Happy Holidays!!
You are welcome.
HG, you are the best! I feel you like an invisible guardian Angel, I am serious.
I have mentioned how my ex loves hoovering around Christmas and my birthday on top of other random hoovering.
I read this witty and inspirational poem few times today -even on the beach .
Yep, what an empathic person reads on the beach except a magazine? She reads HG Tudor’s blogs as she is captivated by the wisdom and logic in the articles. And by HG’s incredible sense of humour and the sound of his British English accent.
Thank you.
Thank you for making no contact really no contact (nearly almost except for occasional emails) It’s amusing because he’s instinctively gotten the hint I won’t text him back so he emails only and doesn’t get responses right away. Further down the road (inevitably) will come a day when he tries to speak to me and I will have to use an interpreter to understand him. He’s too lazy to do anything about it except stomp off or whatever they do. Does their predictability amuse you?
Fabulous! That is all
You have a way with words. Big round of applause!👏
Naturally
Of course HG! Its the truth !
No Hell, no Hell!
No Hell, no Hell!
With HG, you’ll bid Narc Inferno farewell.
(As Lady Anne put it, “Oh wonderful, when devils tell the truth!”)
Loved it! It strengthened me on how to deal with my narcs as I read it.
HG
Being that the year is drawing to an end we do not have access to your holiday schedule, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you once again for this wonderful place of knowledge and community that you have created and continue to expand. The insight and patience you exhibit along with the ever innovative opportunities provided for us to share, exchange, and learn from, is a gift that we sincerely appreciate all through the year, but one that seems impossible to convey the enormity of in a brief thank you or comment. You are very much appreciated. Here’s to many more!
May you and SM enjoy the Christmas and New Year’s that you envision for yourselves.
Thank you NA. I will be around for a few days yet as there are so many people requiring assistance to have consultations before the 25th.
Thank you for your continued constructive contributions and entertaining humour on the blog.
I wish you a peaceful Christmas.
I ordered Sitting Target and Sex, and they will give me my HG fix until you get back. (I ordered probably too late to beat the Christmas rush, thanks to our IT department’s latest astounding feat, but I figure they’ll get here before Epiphany, so it’s still Christmas.)
Hope you have a great one. Don’t do anything too fuelish.
Agreed! Thank you HG! You and your work are valued, appreciated, eagerly anticipated, absorbed, implemented, and shared with others. (you on the first two, your work on the entirety–lol). For some, I truly believe you are a literal life-saver, and for all a soul-saver/preserver. They should make a candy in your honor! Or fortune cookies, filled with logical warfare.
Thank you.
I´ll take ensuring my work enters the mainstream.
I totally agree with everything NA said.
Merry Christmas HG!
Thank you. Merry Christmas to you.
Right you are HG!
BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!!!! (the cfowd roars with excitement) BRAVO!!!
Inspirational thank you 🙌
HG the one who choked me went to a music event at a club tonight that another narcissist was hosting. The other narcissist likes me. I showed the one who choked me that the other narcissist invited me to this event. The one who choked me hates the other one. Someone said the other one was a nice guy and the one who choked me said “No he’s fucking not. He’s a fucking asshole. He’s the worst guy I’ve ever met. He’s a fucking piece of shit”… etc
My friend was at the event and she told me the one who choked me was there. Do you think he was looking for me because I blocked him? She said he assessed the situation from above first, and he’s evil.
I do not see any evidence that he was looking for you. You stated he was in attendance at a music event that you were. He may have been there for reasons unassociated with you.
Thank you HG 💝 there are hundreds of bars in my city, but he paid $20 entry to this bar where he knew the other narcissist was hosting an event and he knew the hosting narc invited me. So was either to see the other narcissist, to see me, both, or big coincidence.
Hello, Whitney.
I can understand why you think he was there looking for you considering all of the details. I know I would think the same.
Is it possible that his attendance is more about the one who planned the party and less about you? I don’t know if it was invitation only party, so maybe this was a way of saying “you can’t keep me out?”
What a great holiday gift to yourself to stay away from that guy!
Whitney,
I take it you told him about your invitation before you went No Contact. This will make weeding through future events easier.
Technically, if he has reason to think you’re likely to be there, it might be better to avoid events, even if they feature the resurrection and reunions of all original members of Nirvana, the Ramones, and the Beatles. (I’m not sure I could resist myself, tbh.)
You don’t need to remind him of your existence, and (despite the gloomy thrill of hoping he misses you–been there, done that), you don’t need to remind yourself of his. The less you speculate about the thought processes (or whatever he does instead of thinking) of someone who has choked you, the better off you are.
You can be addicted to people just like you can be addicted to crack (again, BT, DT). Breaking that addiction is going to be painful, but you’ll do it better under HG’s guidance than I did when I was recovering from Inflammation of the Wanna-Be Playuh Narc and had to guess what my next steps should be.
Thank you for your help GettingThere and Violetta!
I wasn’t actually at the event. The Narcissist who was hosting the event (an entrepreneur) invited me. I told the one who choked me that the other Narcissist (an entrepreneur) invited me. I was trying to triangulate the one who choked me. I didn’t attend the event.
My friend was at the event. She saw the one who choked me, up above, looking down at her. She said he was scanning the place “like a psycho”. I’m normally with her- she’s a best friend. She said he was trying to see if I was with her.
I’m only talking about this to feed my addiction.
I told her I’m not supposed to talk about him. She’s not going to tell me anything else about him unfortunately 😩
Whitney,
It sounds like you have a great friend who respects what you need and don’t need!
I hope you have a fun holiday season free of crazy and psycho!
Thank you GettingThere <3 I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!!!
Sorry I'm very focused on this.
Another reason to think he was looking for me…
.
I went out to bars/clubs in the city and got drunk with my friend the weekend prior. I don't normally do that! I told the one who choked me (the UMR Somatic), and he said I'm an alcoholic and this is my new lifestyle 😆 He asked me questions and stared at me when I replied, like "how much did you drink", "who were you with", "where did you go". So because I was in the city at clubs the weekend prior, maybe he thought I would accept the invitation from the Narcissist he HATES, to the music event at the club.
He doesn't know I was with the UMR Elite the weekend prior. The Elite paid for all our food and drinks. My friend enjoyed it because she's only been with Victim Narcissists. I wanted to triangulate the UMR Somatic with the wealthy Elite but I couldn't bring myself to mention the Elite- too nervous.
I'm not supposed to interact, talk about, or even think about Narcissists, so I can get over my addiction.
HG, would you consider doing Elf on the Shelf piece about a shelf variety IPSS? 😝
My new personal anthem. Thank you, HG!