The occurrence which has been dubbed “Megxit” is the gift that keeps on giving in respect of providing further examples of a narcissist in action.
1. Where´s Archie?
You know Archie, he is the son of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, however, bit part player as he is, a Non-Intimate Secondary Source to Miss Markle and since only an 8 month old child he can be placed on the shelf with a nanny whilst the Sussexes returned to the UK to make their announcement.
Doubtless argument would be made that he was better off remaining in Canada than being ping-ponged over the Atlantic and that is the plausible deniability that would be utilised where criticism is directed at Miss Markle for such a decision, however, this act of leaving her son in Canada is instructive when looking at the behaviour through the prism of her narcissism.
It is important to remember that an isolated act, whilst a red flag, does not mean that the individual is a narcissist. One must look at an aggregate of factors before making such a determination and this is what has occurred with regard to Miss Markle. If you read or revisit A Very Royal Narcissist , A Very Royal Narcissist 2 , A Very Royal Narcissist 3 and A Very Royal Narcissist 4 you have the detailed analysis demonstrating that Meghan Markle is a narcissist. What that means is that all behaviour thereafter can be viewed through the prism of narcissism to interpret it. A normal person and a narcissist do not always act the same, but there are some behaviours which are undertaken by both individuals, but the rationale and driving basis for the behaviour is entirely different. This is because for the narcissist, their behaviour is driven by the need for control and fuel as part of The Prime Aims.
Accordingly, by analysing Miss Markle´s behaviour in leaving Archie in Canada through the prism of her narcissism, what do we learn?
- A Lack of Emotional Empathy – she has none and is unconcerned by her son being left for a period of time away from her
- She instinctively feels she has control over him as he is a baby and therefore incapable, at this very young age, of rejecting her control, thus she can place him on the shelf (which is what narcissists do with secondary sources – friends, family, colleagues, intimate secondary sources such as a mistress or side person).
- She exhibits a Sense of Entitlement to do what she wants
- She is Triangulating Prince Harry. By leaving Archie in Canada, Miss Markle triangulates him with his father so that there is a clear basis for ensuring that Prince Harry returns to Canada also so that Miss Markle´s control over Prince Harry remains intact. There is a risk that if Miss Markle had returned to Canada alone leaving Harry in the UK to address the fallout of the bomb that has been dropped (more on this below), Harry might be influenced by the combined forces of the Royal Family to reconsider this planned “stepping back” and thus Miss Markle´s control over him would be weakened. By leaving Archie in Canada, Miss Markle´s narcissism achieves two things – plausible deniability “It wasn’t fair to fly Archie back and forth” when in reality this is just the narcissists cognitive empathy at work, she has no emotional empathy for Archie and does not care about him and secondly, it is a. method of maintaining control over Prince Harry by signalling to him “If you want to see you son again, you will have to leave the UK and therefore escape the interfering influences of the Royal Family”.
2. Dropping The Bomb
This is a common behaviour performed by the narcissist and is a manipulation designed to exert control over the various appliances (people) in the narcissists fuel matrix (see Dropping the Bomb ). Several insights can be gained from this :
- There was no consultation for the “stepping back” announcement and thus this as explained in Part 7 demonstrates various aspects of the narcissistic dynamic and the lack of consultation is part of the Dropping the Bomb manipulation
- Having dropped the bomb, Miss Markle then exits. Job done. No hanging around to deal with the aftermath or the consequences, which demonstrates Sense of Entitlement and Lack of Accountability.
- Prince Harry is left behind to deal with the aftermath, which shows a Lack of Emotional Empathy for him in having to deal with upset, bewildered and angry members of his family, A Sense of Entitlement (I do what I want and if I want to throw you to the lions, so be it) and Lack of Accountability (I answer to nobody, not even my husband).
- It is a Haughty Behaviour showing disrespect to the Royal Family, yes I have told you what we are doing, no, I am not staying to explain myself to the likes of you, toodle pip!
- It is a manifestation of Control
3. What Birthday?
The 9th January was the Duchess of Cambridge´s birthday and this would ordinarily merit celebration and a degree of media attention. This attention, which is fuel when received by a narcissist, is deemed to be wasted by the narcissist when it goes to somebody else and the narcissist´s inherent trait of envy will come to the fore. The narcissist unconsciously feels that their control is being threatened and therefore has to respond.
The “stepping back” announcement was made on the eve of Kate´s birthday. Of course, the Sussexes would claim this was pure coincidence (Plausible Deniability) and if one was dealing with a non-narcissist, that would be the case, but because we know we are dealing with a narcissist, one looks at that behaviour through the prism of the response of a narcissist so that coincidence is not the real reason. Instead, this act demonstrates
- Overshadowing by doing something to take attention away from another person and place it firmly on the narcissist. Thus the “fuel” that would have been provided to the non-narcissist (although they do not need fuel) is acquired by the narcissist. Fuel is the lifeblood of the narcissist
- Control – the threat to the control is reduced or extinguished
- Lack of Emotional Empathy – Miss Markle does not care about Kate´s birthday and will readily dismiss it through the exhibited behaviour
- Sense of Entitlement – I do as I see fit when I see fit and in whatever manner I see fit, regardless of the impact on anybody else.
4. Working For A Solution
It has been reported that following the “stepping back” announcement, the Queen mobilised by organising discussions with the Prince of Wales and the Duke of Cambridge in order to direct senior staff to work with the Sussex household and government to find a solution within days. Good luck with that.
- Miss Markle has exited already, therefore making it difficult to achieve a solution. This demonstrates her Lack of Accountability, Sense of Entitlement, Need for Control and Lack of Emotional Empathy
- Prince Harry finds himself caught between his family and his wife. How many of you who understand what it is to be caught in the grip of a romantic ensnarement have found yourself in such an invidious position? How many of you found yourself agreeing with family but having to do what your narcissist spouse/partner wanted in order to avoid devaluing behaviour from the narcissist? Plenty of you. By leaving Prince Harry in such a torn situation this means that the prospect of a solution becomes limited and coupled with point one above, means it far more likely that Miss Markle gets her way and maintains control. In the less likely event that some kind of solution is found, it will be one which suits Miss Markle because her narcissism has created this imbalance of power and when a solution is found, it is only because that is what the narcissist wants. The narcissists need for control is such that you cannot guarantee making the narcissist do anything and where you do amazingly achieve a compromise or solution through negotiation, you have just been duped again. It was achieved because that was what the narcissist wanted. That is why it was achieved.
- The Royal Family are sent into over drive responding to the pronouncement of the Sussexes (actually Miss Markle) and she will derive a sense of control and the tail wagging the dog because she is able to exert control, the mainstay of the narcissists existence, over the various members of the Royal Family.
5. O Canada!
After returning in the UK after their six-week break in Canada on Tuesday, the BBC reported that Harry and Meghan visited Canada’s High Commission in London to thank the country for hosting them and said the warmth and hospitality they received was “unbelievable”.
Former actress Meghan, who is American, lived and worked in Toronto during her time starring in the popular US drama Suits, and she has several Canadian friends.
What does this demonstrate?
- Facade Management – I am a kind person and my thanking the High Commission shows that I am kind, polite and decent. All part of the facade management that the type of narcissist that Meghan Markle is, deploys.
- Triangulation – are you paying attention Royal Family, British media, the British people? See how lovely Canada is to me, Canada loves us (me). So, I am going to rub your faces in it by attending the Canadian High Commission to say thank you for allowing me to exert control over you. This is where we will now live so what are you, Britain and its media and its people, going to do to in response to this to allow me to control you?
- Grandiosity – an entire country loves us (me)
- Black and White Thinking – you (Royal Family, the British Media, the British people) have been horrible to me and threatened my control of you and therefore you are all painted black. I do not like you. Canada has been lovely to me and therefore submitted to my control. Canada is painted white and therefore everything about Canada is wonderful, fantastic and amazing.
6. Less Than Charitable But Then Again More Than Charitable
The Sussexes (read Miss Markle) were already preparing to launch their own Sussex Royal charity, which they set up after splitting from the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s foundation in June last year.
The Sussexes’ new charity is expected to be global, linked to Africa and the US, rather than domestic – and will have a commitment to female empowerment.
What does this tell us? Yet more evidence of the behaviour of the narcissist.
- Black and White Thinking. I tried to control you, Kate and William, as Non Intimate Secondary Sources (family) in my fuel matrix but you just would not be controlled, so now I do not like you, you are painted black. Remember this response is an unconscious one. So, now you are painted black everything associated with you (Lack of Boundary Recognition) is deemed to be horrible and awful, which includes your charity, so we are splitting.
- Need For Control – I must have control, so I reject you because I am unable to control you.
- Triangulation – look at our charity, it is better than yours.
- Provocation – I am doing my own thing, without you! How’d you like me now? Show me, so that your irritation, annoyance, upset provide me with negative fuel and show that I am controlling you in a different way.
- Grandiosity – your charity is domestic, that is lame. My charity is global, thus it is better and more befitting my status as a global behemoth.
- Magical Thinking – I am a global icon, I am a beacon of female empowerment.
- Facade Management – I have a charity, see I am such an honest, kind, caring and empathic person.
7. Fancy Some Tat?
It was revealed in December the couple had made an application to trademark their Sussex Royal brand across a string of items including books, calendars, clothing, charitable fundraising, education and social care services.
This action again provides insight with regard to the narcissistic mindset of Meghan Markle.
- Control – where you read couple, read Miss Markle. Prince Harry nods when told to by Miss Markle. He is an IPPS who is in devaluation. She makes the decisions and he abides by them, but they are touted as joint in order to manage the facade of harmony.
- Lack of Awareness – this is a crass and tacky step, but the narcissism blinds Miss Markle to it
- Facade Management – this will be touted as a step with regard to achieving the supposed financial independence as part of managing the facade and advancing plausible deniability. It is not, it part of the facade because financial independence will not occur (see below for an element of this).
- Delusional Thinking – I am so loved that these items will sell like hot cakes! My clothing line will be a huge success, I am a person of style! So declares a person who apparently uses spray tan, a hair extension and wears unsuitable clothing.
- Grandiosity – social care and education provided under the Sussex brand because that is what really matters when delivering those services, yes? I am the educator and I am the saviour. Grandiosity at work.
8. Financial Independence (On My Terms)
It seems that this could actually be achieved because Prince Harry has a multi-million pound fortune as part of his inheritance from Diana, Princess of Wales. Miss Markle apparently has a multi-million pound fortune as a woman of independent means, therefore they should be able to look after themselves (plus those Sussex branded calendars and How To Learn To Be An Global Phenomenon Education Packs are bound to bring in the money). Therefore why is it then that, as reported by the BBC,
- The couple said the Sovereign Grant paid for 5% of their official office from 2019, with the remaining 95% being funded by Prince Charles through his income from the Duchy of Cornwall. Basically pater is paying?
- They will retain Frogmore cottage, the Grade-2 listed property in Windsor that cost taxpayers £2.4m to renovate, as their official residence so they have a “place to call home” in the UK.
This evidences further narcissistic behaviours
- Hypocrisy
- Sense of Entitlement
- Lack of Empathy
- Poor Boundary Recognition
- Asset Acquisition – what is yours is mine, what is mine, stays mine.
The saga of the Sussexes continues to provide an excellent guide to narcissism. For those of you who are familiar with my work, it demonstrates to you a host of narcissistic behaviours which you have experienced in your own ensnarements and from studying my work. For those of you who are new to my work, welcome and you should now start to see how certain behaviours which you may have not noticed or you may have frowned at but not realised what they really are, are actually the behaviour of a narcissist. Utilise this saga as an opportunity to learn more about a disorder which is far more prevalent than you may think, use it as an opportunity to ascertain how you may have been affected by narcissists in your life and do something about it and finally recognise how so many commentators in the media completely fail to realise what it is and offer explanations such as this
“Bryony Gordon, a Daily Telegraph journalist who knows and has interviewed the couple, suggested their decision could be linked to their mental health, after becoming a “punching bag” for a “misogynistic and racist” nation.”
There is no doubt that there has been racist behaviour towards Miss Markle and that is unacceptable, but that is not the reason for the decision. It will be used as an excuse, but as this article and the several before it repeatedly demonstrate, this is a narcissist at work and the decision is linked to the need for control and fuel. Perhaps, readers, you will be instrumental in causing the commentators and media to realise what is actually happening here ahead of the inevitable update when we analyse the next behaviour of A Very Royal Narcissist.
To understand more about narcissism access these insightful materials
Sex : How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays In Your Entanglement
What Fuel Feels Like To A Narcissist
The Devastation of the Illusion
and read further works at narcsite.com and HG Tudor´s work available on Amazon.