Detailed below is a short article from Jonny Dymond, a Royal Correspondent for BBC News. It is a useful article to analyse as it demonstrates the (understandable) responses of someone who is not familiar with the narcissistic dynamic, demonstrates common observations and questions which arise and demonstrates that how the issues are seen but the answers are never arrived at or are wrong. My observations appear in bold and italics and demonstrates principally two main points. As always for the Hard of Understanding, this is an article about the narcissist dynamic only.
1. The explanation for the behaviours of Meghan Markle driven by her narcissism (which commentators have failed to identify and understand), and
2. The impact of Emotional Thinking which results in Prince Harry failing to recognise what it happening (which is integral with regard to the victim of a narcissist and causes the victim to remain trapped in a continuing engagement with the narcissist rather than removing themselves from the world of the narcissist which is the only way of dealing with the narcissist)
“As the dust settles on the most revealing royal interviews since Princess Diana spoke to the BBC in 1995, this is still the reality that Harry and Meghan, and the rest of the Royal Family, have to live with.
Maybe this was a moment of release for Harry and Meghan,
a chance to tell the world about their unhappiness – the pressure she has felt under, (There is no pressure, there is only the perceived threat to her control, control being what the narcissist requires at all times. This may manifest as being seen by pressure by the narcissist but it is not. It is Fuel – the emotional response to the actions of the narcissist which is the lifeblood of the narcissist and where this fuel is provided in a way which challenges the narcissist in some way (for instance unfavourable press coverage) this threatens the narcissist. The narcissist consciously believes it to be pressure, but unconsciously it is a threat to the narcissists control and therefore the narcissist is duty bound to counter this perceived threat. In Meghan Markle´s instance, this was to roll out Pity Plays and to commence legal action.)
his anger at what he sees as a concerted newspaper campaign against his wife, (There is coverage of the Sussexes because people want to read about them, just as there has been coverage about many of the Royal Family many of whom have received unfavourable and critical coverage. Take a look at some of the headlines written about Kate Middleton and contrast her response, as a non-narcissist. Prince Harry is ensnared and therefore his Emotional Thinking is very high. This blinds him, as it always does to a victim of a narcissist, to the logic. Accordingly, as a combination of this obscuring of logic, combined with the complaints from his wife (whom he naturally feels loyalty to) and his own dislike of the media because of its treatment of his deceased mother (a damaged trait his Emotional Thinking will exploit as will Meghan Markle (unconsciously through her narcissism) Prince Harry sees the newspapers as the root of the problem. It cannot be escaped that some of the coverage is unpleasant and relentless, but it has been this way for many royals, but it is not the root of the problem, but Harry is led to believing it is.)
his struggles with his mental health, (There is no doubt that Prince Harry has mental health struggles and these are being exacerbated, as they always are by the continuance of his ensnarement)
the lack of support she feels she’s had from the rest of the Palace. (This is a combination of perception owing to the narcissist´s Black and White Thinking, “you are either with me, so if you are not, you must be against me,” the Sense of Entitlement (“I should be supported”), the need for control (the failure to provide support wounds the narcissist and threatens control) and there will be some lack of support from the rest of the Palace because there will be disapproval of what the Sussexes have been doing (Meghan Markle governed by her narcissism, Prince Harry affected by the instinctive manipulations of the narcissist) and thus the Palace distances itself from this behaviour.
Maybe this was a bid for public sympathy, an attempt to circumvent the filter of the newspapers that Harry so despises. (It most certainly was because that sought after public sympathy equates to the provision of fuel and allows the assertion of control, precisely what the narcissist must have)
But what’s baffling is what the couple thought they would achieve in the medium term. This looks like a triumph of tactics over strategy. (This is an accurate observation by the writer but does not go far enough. The vast majority of narcissists seek control in the MOMENT, not last week and not two months into the future. This instinctive and unconscious need for control is constant and this means that a narcissist will do and say anything and everything to assert that control and results in the narcissist being hypocritical, contrarian and inconsistent (although the narcissist is blinded to this). This is why a narcissist will embark on a course of a action in a divorce by issuing repeated court applications which ultimately are doomed and will end up diminishing available funds. The narcissism is not concerned about the success or failure of the application, it is not concerned about the future event of reduced funds, all it wants is to assert control NOW through the issuing of the court applications. This is why a narcissist will punch his boss in the moment. The narcissism is not concerned with the ramifications of that punch, namely the loss of employment (as and when that happens in the future, the narcissist will only blame that event on something or someone else – it can never be the narcissist´s fault) it only wants control over the boss by putting him on his back in that MOMENT. Accordingly, it is a triumph of tactics over strategy. Markle needs control in the moment, untroubled by what the medium or long term will be (those will be dealt with in the same fashion as and when they arrive) and thus embarks on a course of action that does indeed seem baffling.
It is not baffling. It is the narcissism at work in its usual fashion.
The cameras and flashbulbs won’t disappear now that Harry has said that they remind him of the worst side of his mother’s life. (Correct. Markle does not want them to disappear as they represent fuel. She wants the fuel to be one which signifies she has control ( see The 3 Key Interactions ) Harry, mistakenly led by his Emotional Thinking that the cameras and flashbulbs are the problem.
The newspaper columnists who have poured bile over the duke and duchess for so many months aren’t going to change their ways because Meghan says that Britain’s best-selling newspapers have not been fair. (Correct. They will continue to report and Markle does not want them to stop (Harry does and his ET makes him mistakenly think this can be achieved and that it is the media who he has to focus on). Markle wants it to continue just so long as she has control (see Love Me, Hate Me, But Never Ignore Me )
And the scrutiny of the couple – which has revealed some degree of say-one-thing, do-another – is not going to go away. In fact, it will probably increase. (The writer identifies the hypocrisy of the narcissist here, which demonstrates the necessity of control at all times, irrespective of whether this is consistent. It IS consistent in the alternate reality that is the world of the narcissist because the narcissism makes it appear consistent, justified and rational.)
Because these interviews are a double-edged sword. They give the participants a pretty clear run at putting their case to the public. But they give the couple’s critics an open goal too. (The interviews occur because Markle wants them in order to gather fuel and assert control. Harry goes along with them because he wishes to please his wife (and avoid the devaluing behaviour he will be subjected to behind the scenes, doubtless receiving comments such as “Don´t you want to support me?” (Guilt) “You should show how they are behaving like they did to your mother.” (Mirroring) “They are trying break us up, come between us.” (Triangulation) “If you do not do something this damage us.” (Threatened Loss).
How can Harry and Meghan now call for privacy and restraint on issues like his mental health or her well-being when they have gone on national television and discussed them both with a friendly interviewer? (Precisely. This contradiction is glaringly obvious to the external observer but from Harry´s perspective his emotional thinking blinds him to it and from Markle´s narcissistic perspective she only cares about control, not whether it is contrarian or hypocritical because from her perspective it is not and EVEN if you pointed this out to her in stark terms, she will not be able to see it because of her narcissism. Consider this, how many times do you hear of famous people complaining about the glare of publicity and you think to yourself “Well it is an occupational hazard, it comes with the territory. If it is so bad, do not complain to the media about what they do, go and become a hermit instead.” You will have thought this many times. Guess why? You are commenting on the behaviour of a narcissist because our kind are over represented in the famous and publicity hungry.)
It’s why every experienced royal adviser consulted about this would have urged extreme caution, to say the very least.
And it’s why there was such concern about the interview in other parts of the Royal Family. (Undoubtedly, but that concern will, owing to a lack of understanding, not realised what is actually behind this behaviour. The need for control of a narcissist and a victim of a narcissist blinded by his emotional thinking caused by his continue ensnarement by said narcissist.)
The BBC was told by a well-placed source that William was “furious” with Harry. A source close to Prince William said that that was not his understanding. But whatever the immediate response, there will also have been bafflement. (William may well have been furious and also baffled. Again because he does not realise what the dynamic actually is.)
One of the ways the brothers have diverged is in their attitude to the media. William understands that the newspapers and broadcasters are a hugely important part of getting the message out. (He does and he is not governed by emotional thinking because he is not subjected to the daily influence of a narcissist therefore he operates with logic as stated in the writer’s observation.)
Harry cannot get over his loathing for the people and institutions he blames for the death of his mother, Diana, Princess of Wales. He seeps anger at the press, in particular the best-selling newspapers. (William suffered the same loss as Harry but does not respond in the same way. Why? Because Prince Harry´s emotional thinking causes his logical response to be obscured and channels his loathing against the newspapers making him think that this is the legitimate root of the issue. It is not, he is failing to see where the problem really lies. Right next to him in bed (or in the adjoining bedroom if he is suffering the common devaluation of being banished to the spare room).
The relationship between William and Harry is irreparably changed. And the odds are, given the splitting of households and the charitable foundation, the establishment of separate diary and communications staff, relations will sour further.
It’s how it goes when you have different staffs and different objectives. They rub up against each other. (It is how it goes when one brother is abiding by logic as he is clear of emotional thinking and the other is governed by emotional thinking arising from his ensnarement with a narcissist.)
Two days after the interview aired the Sussexes struck back – an unnamed source speaking for or close to the clearly unhappy couple spoke to CNN. (A member of The Coterie unwittingly acting to assert control on behalf of Markle)
Alongside suggestions that the fuss over the interview was confected came an attack on the Palace and a slight to the Royal Family that will have come from one of their closest staff. (The actions through a proxy agent to assert control.)
The source told CNN “that the institution around the British Royal Family is full of people afraid of and inexperienced at how to best help harness and deploy the value of the royal couple”. (Grandiosity “the value of the royal couple”, combined with Insult and Provocation aimed at asserting control.)
The source said that Harry and Meghan “have single-handedly modernized the monarchy.” (Grandiosity, Magical Thinking)
The BBC has repeatedly asked to speak to the couple’s communications secretary, Sara Latham, but has had no response. (Silent Treatment through a Coterie Member.)
A friend of Ms Latham told the BBC that the comments defending Harry and Meghan, and criticising the Palace, did not come from her.
Briefing wars are rarely won. They trudge humiliatingly on, each side dipping a little lower with every response. And the Monarchy dips with them. The echoes of the unhappy Diana-Charles years are loud, and getting louder. (Indeed, the narcissist v empath dynamic does not and will never change, yet so many people do not realise what is unfolding before them.)