A Not So Royal Narcissist – Part 14

 

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The “A Very Royal Narcissist” Series (which now following the cessation of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle being senior working royals has become ´A Not So Royal Narcissist´is an extremely useful high profile example of the behaviours of a Mid Range Narcissist who has ensnared an empathic victim as the Intimate Partner Primary Source. It also demonstrates the interaction with other individuals in the narcissists fuel matrix. The subject has been determined to be a narcissist based on extensive information over a prolonged period of time (see A Very Royal Narcissist 1 and A Very Royal Narcissist 2 ) and once again for The Hard of Understanding, this is nothing to do with race or gender, it is about narcissism. This analysis is provided for you to see the latest (and ongoing) behaviours of Meghan Markle, through the lens of narcissism so you are able to translate the behaviours and see what is REALLY going on.

This series is also designed to enable you to apply what you see her to dynamics you have experienced, either with romantic, familial, work and/or social interactions with individuals who you may now realise is a narcissist (for help in determining this, use this Narc Detector ). It is also a series that YOU can use to show to someone else who you may suspect is ensnared with a narcissist but who has not been able to see it. Since these various updates and analyses have been provided, many people have contacted me to explain they have now realised that they were ensnared by a narcissist and the articles gave them clarity.

The subject is a Mid Range Narcissist, this means she does not know what she is, does not see anything wrong with what she does, operates purely by instinct and will not change (see Is it Planning? to understand more and search “Mid Range” in the search bar above to increase your understanding.

What has occurred since the previous update A VRN Part 13 ?

Prince Harry, as the Intimate Partner Primary Source to Miss Markle, remains in devaluation. He will continue to experience shifts between devaluing behaviour and respite periods (short returns to the golden period of benign treatment). His treatment whether in devaluation or respite period will still amount to a form of instinctive manipulation. It will be the rollercoaster ride that many victims of narcissists are all too familiar with.  The events below are interpreted through the prism of narcissism and it is important that that point is kept in mind. A narcissist will behave in similar ways to a non-narcissist (this is something that many people do not realise – see Is it a Manipulation? ) however the REAL reason (and nearly always the unconscious reason) why the narcissist has said what they have said or done what they have done, is completely different for the reason why a non-narcissist has behaved in the way they have.

Whilst Prince Harry´s devaluation continues, the 31st March 2020 was reached and breached with the cessation of the duo’s status as senior working royals. This also coincided with the predicted move to the USA.

1. California Dreaming

Prince Harry was removed from what was perceived as interference to Miss Meghan´s control of him (his family and the UK media), by the couple moving to Canada and a rented property on Vancouver Island. Of course, such a move will have been presented by the belief this was to escape a persecuting UK media but that is what the narcissism allows to be presented for the purpose of plausibility. What was really happening (and this is at an unconscious level) the narcissism needed Prince Harry as the very important Intimate Partner Primary Source (“IPPS”) to be shielded form any threats to Miss Markle´s control of him.

It is a common manipulation of a narcissist to isolate an individual, especially the IPPS from family and friends. This is never done in an honest way (“They are threatening my control of you”) because the narcissist, being blind to their narcissism, is not allowed (by the narcissism) to know this is the real reason for the action. Instead, the narcissism allows the narcissist to believe that it is for some other reason, with varying degrees of plausibility dependent on how evolved the narcissism is. In some instances, the explanation given lacks complete credibility and appears ridiculous, in other instances it may raise eyebrows and then again it may seem very plausible indeed – however because it is a narcissist engaging in the behaviour, the reason given is not the real reason. The real reason is satisfaction of the Prime Aims, chief amongst which is the need for fuel and control.

Having removed Prince Harry from the perceived interference of others to Vancouver island, this was but a stepping stone in the continued need to assert control over him. As I predicted several months ago (see The Inside Track – The Prediction, the couple have since moved to the USA and have been reported as looking at homes in Malibu.

What arises from this predicted move?

  • Continued control being asserted over Prince Harry as the IPPS
  • Removal to an environment perceived as benign and thus far easier to control. This is where significant aspects of Miss Markle´s Fuel Matrix will be found and it will be easier to control those by being proximate AND to utilise The Coterie as part of facade management and to triangulate with Prince Harry
  • Assertion of Control towards the royal family and the UK media (“We do not need you, how’d you like me now as I flourish here in the sunshine” – will be the telegraphed message.) Remember, the narcissist must assert control at all times. It is central to our existence.
  • This is familiar territory to Miss Markle so she will feel that she has “home advantage” certain narcissists, mainly those outside of the Greater School, will show a sense of unease, irritation and potential awkwardness when in environments unfamiliar to them, this is because this is the response to their unconscious feeling of a lack of total control. The narcissist will want to either create a home environment (doing something to direct attention onto them – think about for example someone proposing at someone else’s wedding, thus upstaging them) or move the relevant appliances to that home environment.
  • Opportunities to access commercial revenue more readily which is part of the magical thinking exhibited by Miss Markle that the Royal Family is not needed (“I will assert control over you by having little or nothing to do with you because you threatened my sense of control by not letting me do as I wanted (see The Narcissist´s 3 Assertions of Control)) and therefore we can do as wish, we do not need you. Look, we can make our own money. So far, narrating the Disney production “Elephant” is nor exactly the floodgates opening with regard to commercial opportunities.

Thus, by making the move to the USA, this is a clear demonstration of control over principally Prince Harry (as IPPS), harnessing control over other sources of fuel (that make up the fuel matrix – family (Miss Markle´s mother lives in LA), friends, supporters and advisers and asserting control over those painted black (The Royal Family and certain sections of the media).

Prince Harry will have had no say in the decision. He will have been subjected to “behind the scenes” manipulations to persuade him that this is the best decision for all of them. Unable to see what is really going on, desperate to please his wife and keep his family intact and driven by his own Emotional Thinking which, in effect, clouds his judgment, Prince Harry succumbs to the various manipulations. Given that he is ensnared by a Mid-Range Narcissist, this will include

  • Flattery (“You will make me the happiest wife in the world if we could live in LA”)
  • Promised Gain (“We will be so happy there and it will be just the best place for Archie too.”)
  • Threatened Loss (“If you do not agree, I will just move there without you and I will take Archie with me. If you want to see us, you will have to move too.”)
  • Silent Treatments
  • Bribery (“If you do this for me, I will do x for you.”)
  • Guilt (“Don´t you want to make me happy after everything I have been through. I moved to the UK to be with you.”)
  • Triangulation (“Don´t you agree it will be better to move there so we are with people who understand us.”)
  • Insult (“You are so selfish, you do not do what I want.”)
  • Word Salad (Long, tiring drone about nothing so the listener just agrees to make it stop).

Accordingly, Prince Harry has been moved to Los Angeles as he is salami-sliced away from anybody that might threaten Miss Markle´s control of him.

2. Where Has All the Empathy Gone?

As a Mid-Range Narcissist, Miss Markle has Cognitive Empathy (although this misfires, see the Bananas of Empowerment Debacle but no emotional empathy. Cognitive Empathy is only displayed when the narcissism deems that it is necessary to assert control. It is not done out of genuine emotional empathy, but rather as yet another means of manipulation.

You will be very much aware that world is in the grip of a pandemic and the appearance of the corona virus provides much leverage and opportunity for control (as well as challenges) for the narcissist (and to understand more about this through a fascinating book on the subject see The Narcissist and Covid-19 ).

Miss Markle did not miss out on the opportunity to engage in some facade management and the use of cognitive empathy by harnessing the pandemic. In a final message and the Sussexroyal Instagram page she wrote

As we can all feel, the world at this moment seems extraordinarily fragile.Yet we are confident that every human being has the potential and opportunity to make a difference — as seen now across the globe, in our families, our communities and those on the front line — together we can lift each other up to realise the fullness of that promise.

It was deemed by her narcissism as appropriate to use that platform to send an uplifting message of hope and optimism.

The pandemic caused Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth to perform a rare address to the United Kingdom. This address was also praised and supported by other members of the Royal family, including the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince Charles and even Sarah Ferguson the ex-wife of Prince Andrew. What came from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?

Silence.

There was no praise or support for the Queen´s message. What did this failure to support the address demonstrate :-

  • Prince Harry´s silence demonstrates he remains in the grip and influence of Miss Markle
  • Hypocrisy – use the pandemic for own message but choose not to with regard to the Queen´s address about the matter
  • Lack of Emotional Empathy
  • Need to assert control. By failing to support the Queen (who remains painted black by Miss Markle owing to events covered in previous parts of this series) she is given a Silent Treatment which then by not engaging, by not supporting and not doing anything to acknowledge this message (unlike many others in the Royal Family) is an assertion of control 

 

3. Look At Me!

The silence however did not last for too long because of course where there is self-publication there will be a particular type of narcissist to be found.

With the world in the grip of an extremely damaging pandemic which is taking lives, hammering economies and destroying livelihoods, what it really needs more than anything is the announcement that a foundation has been created. Cue, Archewell.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex appear to be planning a wide-ranging non-profit empire, including websites, films and their own awards, according to trademark applications lodged in the US under the name of Archewell.

The first clear indications of how Harry and Meghan intend to rebrand themselves as non-working royals are revealed in an extensive list published on the United States Patent and Trademark Office website.

Archewell, derived from the Greek word arche, meaning “sources of action”, was the inspiration for the name of their son, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, the couple have revealed. It replaces the Sussex Royal brand they had originally trademarked in the UK, but were banned from using.

A statement issued on their behalf said:

Like you, our focus is on supporting efforts to tackle the global Covid-19 pandemic but faced with this information coming to light, we felt compelled to share the story of how this came to be.

“Before SussexRoyal came the idea of ‘Arche’ – the Greek word meaning ‘source of action’. We connected to this concept for the charitable organisation we hoped to build one day, and it became the inspiration for our son’s name.

“To do something of meaning, to do something that matters. Archewell is a name that combines an ancient word for strength and action, and another that evokes the deep resources we each must draw upon.

“We look forward to launching Archewell when the time is right.

What does the announcement of this new foundation at a time of global crisis demonstrate, when understood through the prism of narcissism?

  • Assertion of control. You stopped our commercial plans with regard to the Sussex Royal brand, so we (I) will reject that threat to control by establishing something else and use that to assert control.
  • Grandiosity.
  • Facade Management
  • Lack of Emotional Empathy arising from the crassness of such an announcement at the current time
  • Sense of Entitlement – there was no need to make a statement, indeed operating through Emotional Empathy an individual would have realised it was better to remain silent, but even if the possibility of a newspaper finding out about the application did occur, it would be simple enough to explain “There are plans which will be announced in due course, but now, for obvious reasons, is not the right time.” Of course, if there has been a risk of the newspaper heralding the creation of the foundation first, this threatens control and therefore acting through a sense of entitlement a more grandiose proclamation is made to ensure control remains in the narcissist´s hands.

Accordingly, these three recent occurrences continue to demonstrate the evolution of the narcissistic dynamic and there will, naturally, be far more to come. This ensnarement is far from over in terms of duration or useful highlights of narcissism in action.

Learn more from unrivalled insight and knowledge about narcissism

The Knowledge Vault

The Inside Track – The Prediction

A Very Royal Narcissist – Update Part 12

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 11

A Very Royal Narcissist 10

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 9

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 8

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 7

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 6

A Very Royal Narcissist : Part 5 (Prince Andrew)

Understanding Empathy : The Difference Between Empath, Normal and Narcissist

A Very Royal Narcissist 4 : Aftermath and Reaction

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 3

Escape

Sex : How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays In Your Entanglement

33 thoughts on “A Not So Royal Narcissist – Part 14

  1. WokeAF says:

    I’ve bought / read e dry article but I just realized – has MM’s school been confirmed? I’d have thought MMR – B but I’m not sure if I missed this , or bc I’ve got too many strands in my head lately…maybe I’ve forgotten

  2. Anne Terry says:

    I read many of the comments and agree that Meghan Markle is likely a narcissist. I disagree that Harry is attempting to become Hollywood Royalty, or rather, if he is, it’s only to please Markle. I suspect he’s thoroughly controlled by her at this point. Also, I disagree with the person who believes that Prince Charles is a narcissist. And I disagree with the apparently 95% of the world who believe that Princess Diana was his victim. Rather, I found Diana to be a master manipulator of both the media and the pity play. She cheated on Charles with several different men, and stalked one or two of them when they broke things off with her. Charles on the other hand, has stuck with Camilla for all these years. I do find him a bit odd but well meaning, and I think he was being very successfully smeared by his wife. After she died, he appears to have stepped in and been a good father. I always felt sorry for the boys, because Diana was likely using them as a weapon against their father, and trying to turn them against him. And of course he couldn’t say anything against her after she’d died, so the boys have this distorted impression of her being some kind of a saint. However I think that Charles and the Queen learned a lot from the hell that Diana put them through, and I believe they’ve handled Markle quite masterfully. Basically, ignore her, take away her ability to control them in any way and don’t burn any bridges with Harry. I’ve wondered if Harry was more susceptible to being manipulated by Markle, due to his mother manipulating him when he was young. Well, I could be wrong, but that’s my two cents! Oh, and I agree that Markle and Harry are no longer very interesting. I do enjoy observing the royal family, they’re like modern day dinosaurs, living relics of a very interesting time in history. But if you take away the historic setting, the weird customs and rules, the women’s hats, the strange military uniforms, and the castles, palaces, and carriages…..well, they’re boring. I mean, what exactly is Markle the duchess of, and why would anyone in the US even refer to a fellow American in that way? Did they ever even live in Sussex? Now if her title was “Duchess of the Queen’s caretaker’s cottage, aka Frogmore”, that would make more sense.

  3. Chihuahuamum says:

    Its so obvious Meghan Markle is a narcissist but i still go back and forth on the fact that i dont think Harry is innocent in all of this. I see many parallels between him and his mother. After diana divorced she wanted to carve out her own identity free from the royal one which she found oppressive and stifling. She became her own woman and in many regards showed the royal family up. She had gained a lot of popularity while the royal family’s popularity had decreased due to her biography and Prince Charles affair.
    Prince Harry i feel is trying to do the same in many regards. He has always been in Prince Williams shadow and has in the past done crazy things to be noticed in the media. I dont think its a coincidence he chose an african american, divorced, older woman, actress as a wife. Thats not to say these are faults but historically with the royals these would be frowned upon. Im not convinced Harry is a complete victim in all of this. I think hes carving out his own persona as a “hollywood royal”. I do wonder if there has been some hidden built up resentments between Harry and Will. How could there not be given the pedestal Prince William is put on? Mix that with everything that surrounded Princess Dianas divorce and death its not surprising he was trying to “escape” the royal life and carve out his own niche. I think Meghan and Harry are both a part of this scheme. For awhile i only seen it as big bad Meghan but i think Harry also has had his own agenda and motivations regarding his new life. I think hes been trying to capture his own pedestal and platform and has created himself as a hollywood royal. I know many will disagree with me but this is how i view it at the present time.
    I for one will not be buying their book as its become a bit of a bore.

    1. Jo Lewis says:

      Hi I agree with most of your viewpoint but I feel there is no such thing as a Hollywood Royal- the royal family is a British institution and I do agree that Harry and Meghan thought they could be Hollywood Royals day r international roving royals, but in reality there really is no such thing. The royal family in the U.K. has no need or desire for a separate court in the USA or anywhere else.

  4. Cindy says:

    Latest from US is H & M are renting a huge house from a celebrity pal of Oprah, located on the outskirts of Los Angeles.
    Photos of them delivering meals to the elderly, very wealthy, folks in their neighborhood. Staged photo-op, they were not spotted on LA’s skid row.
    She must be very frustrated as they were big news here when pandemic came.
    Poor Harry. Its going to get so much worse for him. He couldn’t leave now if he wanted to. I know he’s not weak, he’s an Empath like his mom.
    ‘salami sliced away’ from all he knew is a graphic yet apt way to put it HG.

  5. Love says:

    I never gave much thought to Meghan… But I didn’t understand why she was disliked so much by the English. This article puts it into perspective. When I have watched her interviews, she has a certain “charm”. It’s alluring/entrancing. I’ve observed it in other mid range female narcs. It captivates and soothes. Not in a sexual manner. They have something that gravitates others. Even how she touches her husband, looks at him. She appears very submissive, yet I believe she has him spellbound.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Love
      MeMe reminds me of a cat that licks right before they bite.

      1. Love says:

        Lol NarcAngel, which is every cat ever. I think she has a childlike face. She still looks the same as the little girl she once was. Perhaps that misguides people who don’t know her.

        1. Violetta says:

          People who’ve worked in the performing arts have a perspective on how inappropriate her behavior is, although some H’wood types still don’t appear to see through her.

          1. She is rude to tech people the minute the camera stops. Don’t do that: your wardrobe and lighting people can find ways to sabotage you, and you’ll never know about it.

          2. She always tries to steal every scene. This is not only discourteous to the rest of the cast, but boring for the audience. Good scene energy requires playing off each other, not emoting into a vacuum.

          3. She wanted top quality (and price) for a fashion shoot she did. Many models won’t touch alcohol or drugs until the shoot is over because it can make their facial muscles go slack. (Of course, some are permanently coked out of their minds because it helps keep their weight down, but it’s bad for the skin.)

          4. She fussed at one shoot because she didn’t want them to shoot her feet, which appear to have bunion surgery scars. Brooke Shields publicly admitted she had bunion surgery after modelling small shoes for years (she was modelling at 11 months). Dancers and gymnasts, current or former, are fiercely proud of their callouses, broken toes, calcium deposits, etc. (I had thick callouses on both palms decades after I stopped doing unevens.) Hang around enough musicians, and you’ll notice they all tell the same story about the lab tech being unable to punch their fingers to get blood because of all the callouses.

          There are plenty of Narcissists or Narcissistic people in the performing arts, but either they can behave professionally when it’s required (and vent on their hapless partners at home) or they’re talented enough to get away with it. MM can’t offer either of these things.

          1. HG Tudor says:

            “Unevens” is that your story Violetta, okay I believe you !!

          2. Violetta says:

            *top price champagne

            I have incriminating pictures, HG! What’s your theory on how I got the callouses, then?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            From delivering the Daily Heil on your paper round.

          4. NarcAngel says:

            V
            Surely the callouses are from “worrying” your “rosary” beads.

          5. Love says:

            Violetta, I also got calluses from dancing… and tried every shoe /sock/ pad out there to no avail. So i minimized the dancing. 😁You’re right that they are a badge of honor in the professional arts world. It requires a person who is fully dedicated and passionate about the craft.

          6. Violetta says:

            Impossible: I only look at the “Worst Comments” column, and throw the rest away.

            Speaking which, here are some responses to MegBots making the usual Stan posts:

            Barry the stokie, Stoke on trent, United Kingdom, 18 hours ago

            Do you drink to excess

            Itsme1977, The land of nod, United Kingdom, 18 hours ago

            Back on planet Earth….

            EG1989, Melbourne, Australia, 18 hours ago

            Get help.

            Lady in Baltimore, Baltimore, United States, 18 hours ago

            Take your meds!

            KikiKoko, VVV, Australia, 18 hours ago

            Write this down: call MD ASAP, meds are not working!

            Bonnie Be, Happytown, United Kingdom, 18 hours ago

            You are very ill lie down.

          7. Violetta says:

            NA:

            I kill rosaries. I usually end up counting on my fingers because I’ve killed so many rosaries. I take them to bed with me, and the metal link ones won’t survive that. Weirdly, the cheap plastic ones on string seem to be more durable, although I’ve killed a few of those too. Was working on making one with dental floss during Lent, but only got to two decades. Will have to get back to it.

          8. NarcAngel says:

            V
            I was using rosary as a euphemism for sex toy, so I was quite surprised but really appreciate your candour in explaining your routine and experiences.

          9. Violetta says:

            Oh good lord, I’ve performed Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Aristophanes, and I never even thought of that, um, interpretation! I thought you were taking the mick for my nagging my Sky God until he gives me what I want to make me shut up. (That actually is my theory.)

            I don’t use sex toys. The best things in life are free 😁

  6. Jolene says:

    Maaan, but the body language between them at all the events they attended in March. Especially the Endeavour Fund Awards and the Mountbatten Festival of Music. Maaan. She wouldn’t let go of hia hand even when he was in his military attire. And he seemed visibly embarrassed especially when he was in his military attire. So inappropriate. But again, she’s disregarded protocol so many times I lost count. And He.Let.It.Happen.

  7. clemence says:

    HG TUDOR,
    Bonjour,
    I discovered your blog this week, and it’s so interesting that I intend to read everything you’ve written about narcissism. Until today, I haven’t had the opportunity to meet narcissistic people, neither in my family, nor in my friends, nor in my professional environment (I am 32 years old), but I have met people with a huge ego. It’s while trying to understand the difference between huge ego and narcissism that I discovered your blog.
    Today I noticed in your artciles that you describe Meghan Markle as a narcissistic woman. Back home in France, we are not very interested in the British royal family, but there are newspapers that talk about it all the same. Meghan is described as a cold woman who seems to manipulate her husband. As for Prince Harry, he seems to us submissive and weak. Before resuming the reading of your articles (absolutely captivating and enriching on narcissism) I have a question to ask you.
    Does a victim of a narcissistic spouse always remain in denial?
    Thank you in advance for your answer.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Bon soir Celemence, welcome to the blog. Do access all the material and there is a small selection of work in French in The Knowledge Vault.
      To answer your question, not always but frequently. It is a product of emotional thinking. Frequently they deny what is really happening, sometimes they think it is something else, sometimes they know they are being badly treated but feel that they must stay for a variety of different reasons (fear, children, lack of somewhere to go, the need to try and fix) and ultimately all of the above is a manifestation of emotional thinking because that obscures cool, hard logic which is once you know, you go, you get out and you stay out.

  8. Dolores Haze says:

    The Duchess of Cambridge released lovely photos of Prince Louis on his birthday today. Stand by for “accidentally leaked” pics of Archie as soon as LA wakes up in three, two, one…

  9. NarcAngel says:

    Speaking of Royal narcs…a local columnist here wrote the following about Harry’s narc father:

    “Prince Charles is now in his third week of recovery in Birkhall, Scotland. He says he’s working from home which means by now he has shaken hands with every statue, lamp, chair and doorknob in the castle. Then with great risk he must pick up the megaphone and order the servant to wipe everything down.”

    My own thought: I wonder while now having been married to his target for some time and in splendid isolation with her, if he still ponders being a tampon inside “Squidgy”.

    1. Kim e says:

      NA🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

    2. Hedgehog says:

      Seems you are conflating two separate events. “Squidgy” was James Gilbey’s nickname for Diana. Charles’ tampon remark was directed towards Camilla.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        My apologies to Squidgy’s memory. Horse Face then.

        1. WhoCares says:

          *trying not to laugh*

          1. WhoCares says:

            Not succeeding.

        2. Renarde says:

          Ha ha!

          One wants to be a tampon inside you, Camilla.

          How excruciating and toe curling embarrassing.

          If that is the height of foreplay in their book, jesus this man will be king!

          King!

          I HIGHLY recommend ‘The Windsors’. Season 3 is on C4 on demand. Other seasons plus the Markle wedding and Xmas special are now on Netflix

          NS, you will experience much joy in S2, E3.

          You will laugh yourselves silly at Kate’s gypsy origins. Charles’s obsession with Poundbury. A referendum called by Wills on the future of the Monarchy, poor Harry. Poor Harry who is barely literate.

          Randy is bang on as for Camilla? Watch.

          Oh those lovely York Gurrls Amazeballs

          Does Fergie get her freckley bangers out as she dances to Level 42? It’s all there.

  10. Kristin says:

    Daily Mail referred to MM’s “narcissism” today and I was thrilled. Not sure if they have described her as such in the past but it was good to see and will hopefully bring it to light for many.

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8235215/Harry-Meghan-announce-refuse-talk-four-UK-newspapers-groups.html

    1. Renarde says:

      Kristin

      In a rare an unprecedented move on my behalf, I bought a print copy of The Fail today.

      NS is being such a distraction today, I’ve not had time to digest.

  11. Bluewave says:

    Hi HG, I’d like to ask about the IPPS’s behaviour during the relationship with narcissist.

    There is mid range narcissist and his IPPS. During first 6 months of relationship they had their social media profiles open. The IPPS liked to show off the birthday presents she got from the narcissist, she liked to tag him on pictures from their trips, showing how happy she is with her new boyfriend. Her every post was about her new great relationship. Nothing about herself, her hobbies, work, nothing. Everything was HIM.

    But after 6 months she closed her profile and it is now private. Narcissist keeps his profile open like before. They are still on each others friends lists so she is not hiding from him and as far as I know they are still together as couple.

    So why would the IPPS do that?

    Of course I can imagine plenty of reasons that don’t have anything to do with the narcissist. But since she is with a narcissist I wonder if there could be some reasons inclinded to her narcissistic relationship since I know that when you are in close relationship with narcissist everything in your life is about the narcissist and is inspired by the narcissist.

    For example:

    1. they are still in the golden period, but from her poinf of view, after a few months, they are more stable, commited relationship and she doesn’t feel any need to show off this relationship to the world (she is now focused on him, not the audience, she craves more intimacy, she feels safe and doesn’t have a need to fight over him with others by showing other women he is her man). There is more intimacy between them, she decides to just be with him in real life more than on social media.

    2. They are still in golden period but she is feeling more and more comfortable in this relationship. (something narcissist doesn’t like but she doesn’t know it yet). She is hitting the stage “now I don’t have to prove anything to anybody, I don’t have to post tons of pics to show how cool I am because a) I am happy in my relationship and don’t care about other men b) I am happy in the relationship and I am sure this man is commited to me so I don’t have to show off anymore. The courting period is over, we are together and stable”. – I thing every victim hits this stage after golden period, they become super close to the narcissist and are isolating themselves from other people thinking this is something narcissist wants. They are tottaly focued on giving the narcissist his fuel, they forget about themselves and their life withouth the narcissist. After some time they are becoming boring to the narcissist and the narcissist starts to look for someone more flashy and glamourous. Victim is left in shock “I thought you like our silent, intimate life, how could you leave for that attention wh…e??!!”

    3. She entered devaluation and she is not sure about this relationship anymore so she prefers to hide from the audience since she doesn’t know what the future brings. They are still together but something is off right now, she doesn’t want to show off this relarionship as problems start to occur. Maybe she also wants him to do the same, to be more with her and not with others on social platforms. Maybe she starts to despise this social media shit as she starts to feel it is all fake.

    4. Narcissist started devaluing her and is triangulating her with others, maybe he criticises her or compares her to others, maybe he is talking about his ex partners and she feels uncomfortable and threatened, stupid. By going private she is distancing herself from those harpies he is telling her about.

    5. She is in devaluation and he is isolating her. It is his manipulation that caused her shut her profile down. She is all his now, trapped and exposed to his manipulations.

    Those are some of my explanations HG, I would love to see your point of view as you know victims of narcissists like no other. In my opinion it may have something to do with devaluation, because in golden period the narcissist wants his partner to show off as much as possible, he wants her to have great SM profile that would upset his friends and his exes. At this early stage he is telling his partner she is the best and she feels confident in showing off. I remember when I was with a narcissist, he wanted me to flaunt him on social media (I hated that, I wasn’t comfortable about it) and when he started devaluing me he just lost all the interest in my online presence, sometimes he just criticised it to damage my self confidence and to stop me from posting anything.

    These are my thoughts, hope to hear yours.

    Best regards.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Bluewave,

      1. They may both be narcissists. The change in the account is the assertion of control.
      2. She may be the narcissist and he is not. The change in the account is the assertion of control.
      3. If he is the narcissist and she is the IPPS, your suggested answers all have some applicability. Most likely, it has been done either at his direct behest (in devaluation) or her response (to devaluation).

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