A Not So Royal Narcissist – Part 14


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The “A Very Royal Narcissist” Series (which now following the cessation of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle being senior working royals has become ´A Not So Royal Narcissist´is an extremely useful high profile example of the behaviours of a Mid Range Narcissist who has ensnared an empathic victim as the Intimate Partner Primary Source. It also demonstrates the interaction with other individuals in the narcissists fuel matrix. The subject has been determined to be a narcissist based on extensive information over a prolonged period of time (see A Very Royal Narcissist 1 and A Very Royal Narcissist 2 ) and once again for The Hard of Understanding, this is nothing to do with race or gender, it is about narcissism. This analysis is provided for you to see the latest (and ongoing) behaviours of Meghan Markle, through the lens of narcissism so you are able to translate the behaviours and see what is REALLY going on.

This series is also designed to enable you to apply what you see her to dynamics you have experienced, either with romantic, familial, work and/or social interactions with individuals who you may now realise is a narcissist (for help in determining this, use this Narc Detector ). It is also a series that YOU can use to show to someone else who you may suspect is ensnared with a narcissist but who has not been able to see it. Since these various updates and analyses have been provided, many people have contacted me to explain they have now realised that they were ensnared by a narcissist and the articles gave them clarity.

The subject is a Mid Range Narcissist, this means she does not know what she is, does not see anything wrong with what she does, operates purely by instinct and will not change (see Is it Planning? to understand more and search “Mid Range” in the search bar above to increase your understanding.

What has occurred since the previous update A VRN Part 13 ?

Prince Harry, as the Intimate Partner Primary Source to Miss Markle, remains in devaluation. He will continue to experience shifts between devaluing behaviour and respite periods (short returns to the golden period of benign treatment). His treatment whether in devaluation or respite period will still amount to a form of instinctive manipulation. It will be the rollercoaster ride that many victims of narcissists are all too familiar with.  The events below are interpreted through the prism of narcissism and it is important that that point is kept in mind. A narcissist will behave in similar ways to a non-narcissist (this is something that many people do not realise – see Is it a Manipulation? ) however the REAL reason (and nearly always the unconscious reason) why the narcissist has said what they have said or done what they have done, is completely different for the reason why a non-narcissist has behaved in the way they have.

Whilst Prince Harry´s devaluation continues, the 31st March 2020 was reached and breached with the cessation of the duo’s status as senior working royals. This also coincided with the predicted move to the USA.

1. California Dreaming

Prince Harry was removed from what was perceived as interference to Miss Meghan´s control of him (his family and the UK media), by the couple moving to Canada and a rented property on Vancouver Island. Of course, such a move will have been presented by the belief this was to escape a persecuting UK media but that is what the narcissism allows to be presented for the purpose of plausibility. What was really happening (and this is at an unconscious level) the narcissism needed Prince Harry as the very important Intimate Partner Primary Source (“IPPS”) to be shielded form any threats to Miss Markle´s control of him.

It is a common manipulation of a narcissist to isolate an individual, especially the IPPS from family and friends. This is never done in an honest way (“They are threatening my control of you”) because the narcissist, being blind to their narcissism, is not allowed (by the narcissism) to know this is the real reason for the action. Instead, the narcissism allows the narcissist to believe that it is for some other reason, with varying degrees of plausibility dependent on how evolved the narcissism is. In some instances, the explanation given lacks complete credibility and appears ridiculous, in other instances it may raise eyebrows and then again it may seem very plausible indeed – however because it is a narcissist engaging in the behaviour, the reason given is not the real reason. The real reason is satisfaction of the Prime Aims, chief amongst which is the need for fuel and control.

Having removed Prince Harry from the perceived interference of others to Vancouver island, this was but a stepping stone in the continued need to assert control over him. As I predicted several months ago (see The Inside Track – The Prediction, the couple have since moved to the USA and have been reported as looking at homes in Malibu.

What arises from this predicted move?

  • Continued control being asserted over Prince Harry as the IPPS
  • Removal to an environment perceived as benign and thus far easier to control. This is where significant aspects of Miss Markle´s Fuel Matrix will be found and it will be easier to control those by being proximate AND to utilise The Coterie as part of facade management and to triangulate with Prince Harry
  • Assertion of Control towards the royal family and the UK media (“We do not need you, how’d you like me now as I flourish here in the sunshine” – will be the telegraphed message.) Remember, the narcissist must assert control at all times. It is central to our existence.
  • This is familiar territory to Miss Markle so she will feel that she has “home advantage” certain narcissists, mainly those outside of the Greater School, will show a sense of unease, irritation and potential awkwardness when in environments unfamiliar to them, this is because this is the response to their unconscious feeling of a lack of total control. The narcissist will want to either create a home environment (doing something to direct attention onto them – think about for example someone proposing at someone else’s wedding, thus upstaging them) or move the relevant appliances to that home environment.
  • Opportunities to access commercial revenue more readily which is part of the magical thinking exhibited by Miss Markle that the Royal Family is not needed (“I will assert control over you by having little or nothing to do with you because you threatened my sense of control by not letting me do as I wanted (see The Narcissist´s 3 Assertions of Control)) and therefore we can do as wish, we do not need you. Look, we can make our own money. So far, narrating the Disney production “Elephant” is nor exactly the floodgates opening with regard to commercial opportunities.

Thus, by making the move to the USA, this is a clear demonstration of control over principally Prince Harry (as IPPS), harnessing control over other sources of fuel (that make up the fuel matrix – family (Miss Markle´s mother lives in LA), friends, supporters and advisers and asserting control over those painted black (The Royal Family and certain sections of the media).

Prince Harry will have had no say in the decision. He will have been subjected to “behind the scenes” manipulations to persuade him that this is the best decision for all of them. Unable to see what is really going on, desperate to please his wife and keep his family intact and driven by his own Emotional Thinking which, in effect, clouds his judgment, Prince Harry succumbs to the various manipulations. Given that he is ensnared by a Mid-Range Narcissist, this will include

  • Flattery (“You will make me the happiest wife in the world if we could live in LA”)
  • Promised Gain (“We will be so happy there and it will be just the best place for Archie too.”)
  • Threatened Loss (“If you do not agree, I will just move there without you and I will take Archie with me. If you want to see us, you will have to move too.”)
  • Silent Treatments
  • Bribery (“If you do this for me, I will do x for you.”)
  • Guilt (“Don´t you want to make me happy after everything I have been through. I moved to the UK to be with you.”)
  • Triangulation (“Don´t you agree it will be better to move there so we are with people who understand us.”)
  • Insult (“You are so selfish, you do not do what I want.”)
  • Word Salad (Long, tiring drone about nothing so the listener just agrees to make it stop).

Accordingly, Prince Harry has been moved to Los Angeles as he is salami-sliced away from anybody that might threaten Miss Markle´s control of him.

2. Where Has All the Empathy Gone?

As a Mid-Range Narcissist, Miss Markle has Cognitive Empathy (although this misfires, see the Bananas of Empowerment Debacle but no emotional empathy. Cognitive Empathy is only displayed when the narcissism deems that it is necessary to assert control. It is not done out of genuine emotional empathy, but rather as yet another means of manipulation.

You will be very much aware that world is in the grip of a pandemic and the appearance of the corona virus provides much leverage and opportunity for control (as well as challenges) for the narcissist (and to understand more about this through a fascinating book on the subject see The Narcissist and Covid-19 ).

Miss Markle did not miss out on the opportunity to engage in some facade management and the use of cognitive empathy by harnessing the pandemic. In a final message and the Sussexroyal Instagram page she wrote

As we can all feel, the world at this moment seems extraordinarily fragile.Yet we are confident that every human being has the potential and opportunity to make a difference — as seen now across the globe, in our families, our communities and those on the front line — together we can lift each other up to realise the fullness of that promise.

It was deemed by her narcissism as appropriate to use that platform to send an uplifting message of hope and optimism.

The pandemic caused Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth to perform a rare address to the United Kingdom. This address was also praised and supported by other members of the Royal family, including the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, Prince Charles and even Sarah Ferguson the ex-wife of Prince Andrew. What came from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?


There was no praise or support for the Queen´s message. What did this failure to support the address demonstrate :-

  • Prince Harry´s silence demonstrates he remains in the grip and influence of Miss Markle
  • Hypocrisy – use the pandemic for own message but choose not to with regard to the Queen´s address about the matter
  • Lack of Emotional Empathy
  • Need to assert control. By failing to support the Queen (who remains painted black by Miss Markle owing to events covered in previous parts of this series) she is given a Silent Treatment which then by not engaging, by not supporting and not doing anything to acknowledge this message (unlike many others in the Royal Family) is an assertion of control 


3. Look At Me!

The silence however did not last for too long because of course where there is self-publication there will be a particular type of narcissist to be found.

With the world in the grip of an extremely damaging pandemic which is taking lives, hammering economies and destroying livelihoods, what it really needs more than anything is the announcement that a foundation has been created. Cue, Archewell.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex appear to be planning a wide-ranging non-profit empire, including websites, films and their own awards, according to trademark applications lodged in the US under the name of Archewell.

The first clear indications of how Harry and Meghan intend to rebrand themselves as non-working royals are revealed in an extensive list published on the United States Patent and Trademark Office website.

Archewell, derived from the Greek word arche, meaning “sources of action”, was the inspiration for the name of their son, Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, the couple have revealed. It replaces the Sussex Royal brand they had originally trademarked in the UK, but were banned from using.

A statement issued on their behalf said:

Like you, our focus is on supporting efforts to tackle the global Covid-19 pandemic but faced with this information coming to light, we felt compelled to share the story of how this came to be.

“Before SussexRoyal came the idea of ‘Arche’ – the Greek word meaning ‘source of action’. We connected to this concept for the charitable organisation we hoped to build one day, and it became the inspiration for our son’s name.

“To do something of meaning, to do something that matters. Archewell is a name that combines an ancient word for strength and action, and another that evokes the deep resources we each must draw upon.

“We look forward to launching Archewell when the time is right.

What does the announcement of this new foundation at a time of global crisis demonstrate, when understood through the prism of narcissism?

  • Assertion of control. You stopped our commercial plans with regard to the Sussex Royal brand, so we (I) will reject that threat to control by establishing something else and use that to assert control.
  • Grandiosity.
  • Facade Management
  • Lack of Emotional Empathy arising from the crassness of such an announcement at the current time
  • Sense of Entitlement – there was no need to make a statement, indeed operating through Emotional Empathy an individual would have realised it was better to remain silent, but even if the possibility of a newspaper finding out about the application did occur, it would be simple enough to explain “There are plans which will be announced in due course, but now, for obvious reasons, is not the right time.” Of course, if there has been a risk of the newspaper heralding the creation of the foundation first, this threatens control and therefore acting through a sense of entitlement a more grandiose proclamation is made to ensure control remains in the narcissist´s hands.

Accordingly, these three recent occurrences continue to demonstrate the evolution of the narcissistic dynamic and there will, naturally, be far more to come. This ensnarement is far from over in terms of duration or useful highlights of narcissism in action.

Learn more from unrivalled insight and knowledge about narcissism

The Knowledge Vault

The Inside Track – The Prediction

A Very Royal Narcissist – Update Part 12

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 11

A Very Royal Narcissist 10

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 9

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 8

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 7

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 6

A Very Royal Narcissist : Part 5 (Prince Andrew)

Understanding Empathy : The Difference Between Empath, Normal and Narcissist

A Very Royal Narcissist 4 : Aftermath and Reaction

A Very Royal Narcissist – Part 3


Sex : How the Narcissist Views Sex and The Role It Plays In Your Entanglement

150 thoughts on “A Not So Royal Narcissist – Part 14

  1. Minky says:

    HG.longtime lurker shy poster, I really enjoy this blog and have been around a long time.I believe a lot of the information you have given has been invaluable to me and many others,I have been itching for sometime to ask if you have ever heard of Heather Dubrow who I believe is like Markle a somatic narcissist would you ever consider putting her under the Tudorscope?.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Minky, thank you for commenting and do not be shy, all constructive observations are welcome. I am not familiar with Heather Dubrow, perhaps you can expand.

  2. heather says:

    This is brilliant!!! I have been interested in narcissism ever since I came across a very extreme one – which I write about in my own blog. I have also had others who I thought were friends – until I worked out what was going on. But this whole series demonstrating narcissism through the Meghan and Harry saga is really a wonderful way to demonstrate it to the masses. I will watch and read further with interest. Of course ‘the book’ is about to be released – just demonstrates the need to have continued control. No doubt the rest of the Royal Family will be portrayed as the villains!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Pleased you enjoyed reading it Heather.

  3. Violetta says:

    Daily Mail headline:

    EXCLUSIVE: ‘After the camera stops, she’s not the most friendly.’ Meghan Markle had strict rules not to shoot her funky FEET, videographer reveals and was already called a ‘princess’ for her ‘diva’ behavior

    More poetry in the comments section:

    plantlover0147, london, United Kingdom, 5 hours ago
    What in the world did that gombeen harry see in this shamless taart. she actually frightens me to look at her , she weird.

  4. Violetta says:

    Page Six headline:
    “Meghan Markle to relaunch The Tig blog in competition with Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop”

    Narc vs. Narc! Pass the damned popcorn.

    Not sure what Megs could come up with to rival steam-cleaning the cha-cha, but I have faith.

    1. Renarde says:


      That has properly made me laugh.

      It’s only a matter of time before she starts toting sex aids.

      Which reminds me, I need a jade egg. For reasons.

    2. Renarde says:

      And in other news, I’m reminded of the funniest sex aid story I’ve ever heard. Which bizarrely doesnt involve me.

      The UMS’s new IPPS. He persuaded her to wear an unattached pair of Ben Wah balls to work. And no knickers.

      I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

      Well, the poor love found out when she was making a coffee. Clunk. Clunk.

      Said balls are now rolling over the floor to land precisely at the feet of her boss.

      Who picks one up and says, ‘Hmm warm!’

      I hold no animosity towards the IPPS. But honestly, she hasnt learned the golden rule of being a submissive. When needed, you LIE. Daft cow. A simple pair of M&S would have stopped it. No sense.

      Narc control factor; Elventy-Billion

      Empath factor: Minus 100

      1. Lorelei says:

        Renarde—I’ve no idea what any of this means!

        1. Violetta says:


          Ben Wah balls go inside the lady parts. It’s supposed to be a turn-on. If the lady has done her Kegel exercises, I suppose she could hold them in without wearing underwear, which her Dom told her not to wear, even to her job. Marks & Spencer sells 3-packs of underpants which are so highly regarded, even the Queen Mum used to wear them.

          Basically, Renarde is saying the Silly Sub should have lied like a rug: “Why no, darling, I didn’t wear undies all day, just the way you wanted!” after slipping them off at the end of the day before going home.

          1. Lorelei says:

            Gotcha. I’m not wearing balls in my vagina. Seems pointless. Gweneth can do it.

        2. Renarde says:

          Aww bless you Lorelei!

          Ben Wah balls are two, sometimes metal and sometimes glass spheres that you put in your vagina. They keep you aroused, you see. But it takes ninja level of having two that arent tied together and to keep them up there. Even I dont have those.

          The UMS had persuaded her to put them in, not wear knickers, wear a skirt. She lost control and they dropped.

          Honestly, she hasnt the sense of a gnat. This has been proven many times. The IPPS is so under his control that the LT barely registers anymore.

          I had a Dom.once who insisted I wear stockings and suspenders to work. Wearing that would’ve been completely inappropriate as a teacher, so I did my own thing.

          Honestly, some Doms are ridiculous.

          1. Lorelei says:

            Renarde—I think I’ll stick with Etsy and looking up stained glass door knob pulls! Haha. I found an awesome little stained glass shop in Russia last night too. I’m working on a bundled shipping deal for little holiday ornaments (gifts). I wonder if they have stained glass sex toys?

          2. Renarde says:


            Wise! And yes they do but not quote like that.

            Dildos and plugs which are shot through with pretty colours. Reinforced of course. I have a couple.

            Most people dont know what they are looking at when seeing a plug. Which reminds me speaking about holidays.

            One cheeky artist was commissioned to make an art installation for Xmas in Paris.

            What he produced was a 20 foot high inflatable green tree. Except it wasnt. To hilarious results.

            How we laughed on Fetlife about that one!

          3. Lorelei says:

            Renarde—I’m counting up stained glass door knobs to order. They will color my life similarly. I’m telling you—butt plugs gone wrong can potentially kill. A seasoned practitioner knows a crash cart needs to be ready when attempting to retrieve embedded toys. First, hard to retrieve, and second the associated bradycardia can lead to cardiac arrest. Been there. It can be a fiasco. I have never dealt with an easy retrieval. The bleeding, tears, embarrassment.. It’s not gonna happen!

          4. Renarde says:


            Wise words.

            Plugs always need to have a flared base. Otherwise bad tings and shit can happen.

            Otherwise , people who put a miniature statue of Napolean up their thing, will reap the consequences.

            Poor dears.

      2. Ashley says:

        That’s so funny 🤣 omg.

    3. Lorelei says:

      Violetta—you are funny. How does one’s vagina get steam cleaned? I’ve never needed to do this. Even douching messes it all up. It’s not to be altered.

      1. Violetta says:


        Doctors have repeatedly warned people against following Gwynnie’s advice. Anything that can’t be solved by regular showers, adding acidophilus to the diet, or by wearing natural fiber underpants instead of synthetic (which are changed and laundered regularly, avoiding detergents or fabric softeners with perfumes or other irritating ingredients) should be checked out by a doctor.

        1. Lorelei says:

          Agree Violetta. Even a new sex partner can cause irritation in the absence of an STI. It’s a very disruption prone environment. I even had a reaction to a condom once, it was awful. (Sorry for the “too much information”) It’s a clinical style discussion though, let’s be honest—nearly everyone here has a vagina.

  5. Sue R says:

    It has been reported that ‘Archie’ is the ‘private’ name that the Royal Family use for Prince George. I have no idea if this is true(not being privy to Royal circles!) but it strikes me as interesting. I also feel that Prince Harry may resolve the whole affair in a very destructive way, once he realises how he has been played for a fool.

  6. Violetta says:

    From a celebrity gossip site:

    “She really messed with his head. She told him a few days after they met that they were soul mates and that they would be happy and spend their whole lives together. She was all over him. Then she would pull away and say she wasn’t sure and he would be really confused and go chasing after her.” [Emphasis added]

    As ever, HG, you’ve been calling it from the beginning.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed. Thank you.

  7. Violetta says:

    More DM worst column fun.

    Original comment:

    the peoples duchess, London , United Kingdom, 14 hours ago


    ADW.1414, SUNNY ENGLAND, United Kingdom, 14 hours ago

    tomcat6, Leicester, United Kingdom, 14 hours ago
    Care in the community has a lot to answer for…..

    GeeTM, Lincolnshire, United Kingdom, 14 hours ago
    Getting the names the right way around would be a start….

    margaret, york, United Kingdom, 14 hours ago
    think you need help love I would phone the men in white coats

    localgasbag, london, United Kingdom, 14 hours ago
    You need to up your meds mate.

    PeteTheBluesMan, Christchurch, New Zealand, 14 hours ago
    What on earth have you been smoking? What an idiot.

    Sunshine State, Shrewsbury , United Kingdom, 14 hours ago
    That you Megan . Now go away there’s a love.

    Tamara, UK, United Kingdom, 13 hours ago
    Please bore off and worship Meghan privately by yourself. The rest of us are not interested in your pretend Princess.

    Ageless Stranger, Localhost, United Kingdom, 13 hours ago
    This is what happens when medication runs out

    Jabberwok, Malmesbury, United Kingdom, 12 hours ago
    Are you insane? Wee Harry?!!! You need help!

    I think the varied, often poetic ways the British have of questioning a reader’s sanity are an art form, on a par with The Dozens (urban mama-trashing contest). There are calls for “Nurse!” higher meds, lower meds, different meds, suggestions to avoid recreational drugs, requests to share recreational drugs, and so on.

    My favorite was when someone responded to an outstandingly silly post (even by DM standards) with the simple message, “Get well soon.”

    This shows that we can still appreciate and learn from the positive aspects of each other’s cultures. I feel positively perky now. What the world needs is refrigerator magnets with DM dissed on them!

    1. Renarde says:

      Comments on DM can be worthy of gongs themselves.

  8. Violetta says:

    More gems from the DM comment section:

    Original Post:

    Red Arrow Me Please, Thanks For The Red Arrow., United Kingdom, 55 minutes ago

    We miss you Meghan xx


    JUSTTAKINGITALLIN, THEPLACE, United Kingdom, 51 minutes ago

    Like a huge pimple on the end of our collective nose !!!

    putupandshutup, Brighton, United Kingdom, 50 minutes ago

    Speak for yourself


    Please wake up, you are having a very bad NIGHTMARE, LOL

  9. Erika says:

    Oh how I wait with so much anticipation for these articles! What does it say about me that I’m practically obsessed with Markle’s narcissism? It hits home with me. Just…thank you for your in depth analysis, takes a lot of work. Helps many of us in our personal lives…

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome and thank you for recognising the level of work and expertise that goes into this work.

    2. Violetta says:

      You’re not alone, Erika. I was somewhat appalled by my schadenfreude, until I realized how much MM’s M.O. reminded me of several narcs I encountered growing up, particularly two elementary teachers and one Jr. High Frenemy. It is a positive pleasure to see one of that breed not getting away with it at last.

      Of course, it’s less pleasant when I consider what she’s doing to Archie as well as Harry.

      1. WhoCares says:


        I agree with you and Erika on enjoying and looking forward to HG’s further insight on this series.

        I am curious though – how do you perceive Meghan not getting away with it?

        “It is a positive pleasure to see one of that breed not getting away with it at last.”

        1. Lorelei says:

          Whocares—I think MM must be really good in bed. She does cartwheels.

          1. WhoCares says:


            I believe Meghan gives him what he *thinks* he wants, in more ways than one.

          2. Lorelei says:

            It’s extremely unusual to move around and be so concerned about “autonomy” with a baby. (I see the narcissism) To be honest, at that stage in the game with babies I was just not focused on anything else. It feels chaotic and unnatural. All other bullshit is noise when Children are so small.

          3. WhoCares says:


            “It’s extremely unusual to move around and be so concerned about “autonomy” with a baby.”

            Do you mean the moving around from country to country?

          4. Lorelei says:

            Yes, it’s a complete illustration of no connection to prioritizing her son. He’s not her focus. Highly unusual for a first time mother with no absolute true need to relocate, and to do so repeatedly. It’s chaotic.

          5. WhoCares says:


            “Yes, it’s a complete illustration of no connection to prioritizing her son. He’s not her focus. Highly unusual for a first time mother with no absolute true need to relocate, and to do so repeatedly. It’s chaotic.”

            That’s interesting.

            When I was with my narcissist, we moved a lot during the formal relationship. (Which, to the objective observer and/or with hindsight appears chaotic – I absolutely agree). But in the context of my entanglement, it made perfect sense and was in the best interests of our child. It always appeared to be based on “true need” at the time.
            In my case, the moving happened not as a result of the idea of moving looking appealing (believe me I HATE relocating) but because of what looked like the natural (and logical) next choice in the context of our lives at the time.
            When my ex had a legit physical injury that would impair his ability to do the same work he done previously, he chose to a new career path and a course of study – that took him away from his family. This meant temporary distance and instability but greater stability for the long run, plus future financial gains etc…so it appears to be in everyone’s best interest, including the child.
            I can give several more concrete examples of how the moves appeared to benefit our child (and did so in concrete ways) but I didn’t know at the time that I was slowly being isolated and having my mental (and financial) resources depleted. And that I was investing in a “faked future” of less stress etc., but the actual source of stress was piggy-backing on me.

            Harry can’t see this either at this time. I am sure he is fully convinced that he believes he is working towards the bests interests of his family and his child.

            I can also think of several entanglements where relocating (although not actually a desirable occurance) happened repeatedly and with genuine belief in being the best outcome for all involved. I don’t think it is highly unusual at all.
            We just aren’t aware at the time that the unconscious motivations of our partner cause them to look for more sources and new hunting grounds – we see only the context that make these choices absolutely feasible.

          6. NarcAngel says:

            I believe relocating is a good example the salami slicing at work.

            “I will make more money at the new job and we will be able to enjoy the rewards together”.
            “A more rural setting will be better for the kids in getting back to nature and away from bad influences”.
            “Smaller schools allow for more one on one with students”.
            “The commute is not long and a small price to pay for the benefits gained in more real estate at a lesser cost”.
            ‘This next move will be our forever home, fixed up just the way we want it, where we can better entertain friends and family”.
            “You will be able to stay home with the kids and we’ll save on daycare”.

            Sounds reasonable but slowly turns to…

            ” I’m working hard to provide for the life you wanted out here where you could stay home with the kids and be more directly involved in their schooling and shield them from the outside influences you were concerned about, so sue me if I don’t have time to get to all the “decorating” you’d like in order to entertain the friends and family you dreamed would be flocking to stay but can’t be bothered to make the “long” commute. I deserve quiet rest in my home on the weekends anyway so that I can regroup to do it all again for you Monday even though you all appear ungrateful”.

            Slice by slice the future faking and rationalizing. Playing to hope and keeping you hooked. Isolating you further and further from the influence of family and friends and allowing them more control. If it’s always their idea or you have to be convinced – it’s a bad idea.

          7. WhoCares says:

            Those are perfect examples NA.

            My timeline would have read more like this:
            “Oh, you’re right…with an actual shattered limb you’re current choice of employment is no longer feasible for the long-term. Makes sense.”

            “And yes, you would be wise to invest in schooling for a different career and I totally support your choice of program – since employment wise it is a solid choice and I totally believe in people pursing their passions. Oh, that particular program is only offered at this one school and it takes you out of town, no problem, that’s only temporary.”

            “Oh, why should we maintain two residences when I am now on maternity leave? And since still completing your schooling it makes sense to move where you are.”

            “Oh, look at that, you got a job in your new field – even before you graduated and finalized your education – amazing! Well, it makes sense for us to settle here instead of continuing to be divided between two cities.”

            “I can understand why that would be a stressful and demanding situation at work…yes, the big city is stressful…yes, you grew up in nature…yes, the little one should be able to put his toes on real grass without having to exit the high-rise and walking ten minutes to find a space of green… Yes, we should divide our time between the big city and somewhere quiet and natural and away from all the *stress*”

            “Oh, fantastic, we really like it here in this new, isolated community, surrounded by nature – what, you managed to find a job exactly in your field there too? Fabulous, because I have well rounded skills and will surely be able find suitable employment or pursuits too…”

            After I left my friends and family behind. after I dropped down to half-time at my excellent job in academia – and then eventually quit so I could focus on being there for my family….and so on, so on. Until you the actual source of stress was never left behind.

          8. Lorelei says:

            Just catching up. Yes, salami slicing and convincing him this new reality is most excellent. And yes, of course there are legitimate chaotic appearing events as you mentioned. Unfortunately, he is in the midst of a disordered tornado though. I never had to worry about it because (A) No one wanted my ex around for him to think such chaos would fuel him (B) He was cheap due to being a dumb ass money drain so moving would incur expense!

          9. WhoCares says:

            “(B) He was cheap due to being a dumb ass money drain so moving would incur expense!”

            Mine was cheap too. But he didn’t have to finance anything because for the most part I financed the moves, etc.. Still have the receipts.

            This how the “financial abuse” can happen without it ever receiving the label of abuse – because for all intents and purposes it looks as if one were investing in a legitimate future.
            Combine the financial constraints with isolation and cognitive impairment: recipe for disaster.

          10. Lorelei says:

            Omg Whocares. I smacked the living hell out of him once over the money crap. I slapped him over and over and over. I didn’t know he likes it. The financial disaster was incredible. I would not take back slapping him—I liked it too. I loved it. He had to cover his marks I think. It’s satisfying.

          11. WhoCares says:

            I suppose I can grasp how that might feel satisfying.
            I cannot even point a finger of blame at mine.

          12. Lorelei says:

            Oh it’s enjoyable to slap narcissists, until they never change and you get tired & breakdown.

          13. WhoCares says:

            I take my enjoyment from the fact that I left and he never saw it coming.

          14. Lorelei says:

            Whocares—I’m glad you left him.

          15. WhoCares says:

            Lorelei – I’m glad we are both here.

          16. Lorelei says:


          17. WhoCares says:

            Until you *realize the actual source of stress was never left behind.

          18. Violetta says:


            I’m genuinely interested in the performing arts, but when it comes to celebrities who are just famous for being famous, it’s more like horrified fascination. I remember when Heidi Montag got multiple plastic surgeries in preparation for a singing career. She’d hired publicists, managers, photographers. What she didn’t hire was a singing teacher or even a dance teacher/choreographer, so she could move in the videos. Likewise, I was riding Jersey Transit while several people who had been contestants on American Idol talked (loudly) about their new place in NY and which agents had seen the show.

            I’ve never made it past 10 minutes of any Reality Show (unless I was in a Bubble Tea Cafe where it was on the monitor), but the promos had featured one of these guys–not for his voice; he was touted as “the most annoying contestant ever.”

            During the entire train ride (they got on not long after I had), there was no discussion of getting a job waiting tables or doing data entry to cover singing classes at HB Studio, jazz at Broadway Dance or Steps if there’s anything left over from paying bills.

            I’m only sorry I didn’t get to see the looks they got the first time they tried to crash an Equity audition and (loudly of course) mentioned the time they’d been on American Idol. (Without, of course, having brought a monologue or 16 bars of a ballad or an upbeat in a style appropriate to the show.) I can’t give you their names, because I’ve never heard of them since, so again, occasionally, there’s justice.

          19. WhoCares says:


            “I’m genuinely interested in the performing arts, but when it comes to celebrities who are just famous for being famous, it’s more like horrified fascination.”

            I also enjoy the performing arts – although my interest stems more from a community arts AND behind the scenes perspective.
            I worked in performing arts and community art for the last 3 years of my entanglement…one of the perks of relocating where we did.

            As for celebrities who are famous for being famous, I have a similar perspective on artists… And I share your affinity for bubble tea.
            Damn I miss Bubble Tea.

          20. Violetta says:


            She have done tsukaharas during courtship, but I’ll bet he’s not getting much action at all now that he’s in devaluation.

          21. Renarde says:


            Very good at ‘the splits’.


        2. Violetta says:

          She had a solid gig with the BRF for life. She fucked it up.

          She was going to merch things with “Sussex Royal.” That’s been blocked.

          Her efforts to use Archeway for the same purpose, then Archewell, have drawn ridicule. Prankers have bought up domains she never bothered registering and sent people who click to Kanye’s “Gold-digger,” the Dixie Chicks’ “Gaslighter,” Petty’s “Don’t Come Around Here No More,” Dire Straits’ “Money for Nothing,” etc. (I’m still waiting for someone to link a URL to “Never Gonna Give You Up.” If I had the skill and the money to buy a domain, I’d do it myself.)

          The Disney thing seems to have been a one-off. She is neither sufficiently talented, nor sufficiently a box office/streaming draw, based on her name alone, nor sufficiently pleasant to work with to get much repeat business.

          Her efforts to play Lady Bountiful (who is actually a horrible mid-rAngel in The Beaux’ Stratagem) are also backfiring. Viewers caught multiple unsanitary practices in the food delivery video. Sharp eyes have noted that the pap photog who did the “walking the dogs” set-up also did Thomas Markle’s trying on the wedding clothes shoot, and have speculated that she deliberately set him up, in order to have an excuse to have the Prince of Wales walk her down the aisle, rather than her embarrassing da.

          She may have succeeded in snaring her prince, getting her fancy wedding and Frogmore renovations (which she has never repaid), merching, and, eventually, the divorce under California
          property laws, and of course, she’s made a mental and physical wreck of a man who was quite popular and downright buff when he was in the military.

          What she has not done is preserved her construct. She still has her defenders, but more and more people have admitted they “used” to like her, or “wanted” to like her. Claims of racism lost credibility when Wendy Williams, among others, called her out on her behavior.

          It is likely small consolation to the British ratepayers or the many people she’s used, but at least she doesn’t get the universal adoration she assumed was hers by right. After years of my mother saying, “But why don’t you want to be friends with X anymore?” and seeing academic narcs get tenure, I find it very therapeutic to see that at least this once, people are seeing through her.

          1. Kathleen says:

            Excellent synopsis Violetta! It’s a train wreck of this whole mess with her and him moving to Canada and then to the United States… Like someone else pointed out with a small infant… Very unstable. In my opinion She just ooozes fake- which is perfect for Hollywood.

            Before this whole thing started I barely had even heard of her…then when I saw her Accidentally once on some interview I immediately disliked her and thought… Oh here we go another Kardashian type /cotton candy for brains.
            There aren’t many people in my long years on planet that strike me that way immediately but she is one of them. I’d like to see Jennifer Aniston “cougar in” and take Harry off her hands LOL.
            I also I’ve never been to England but I feel like racism is worse in the United States than in England. I know when we’re talking the royal family that’s a whole different thing but… I just look at some of the public figures and a lot of the television shows and I just get a different read off the culture-I could be entirely wrong. But I think classism is much more of a factor in this case- plus sheer trashi-ism.
            Just some thoughts. Have we seen Prince Harry in some Gucci sunglasses yet walking around in a robe?

          2. WhoCares says:


            That was a very solid and thorough answer. I agree with you that her best laid “plans” have fallen through. Maybe it depends on how one interprets “getting away with it.”

            As you stated, she managed to get betrothed to Harry – but also, get pregnant by him, cause him to distance himself from his own brother, then the entire RF (someone who values family and has a strong moral compass.) She’s managed to get Harry to let go of many of his own interests and commitments and reinvest himself and his resources in their “shared” interests and pursuits. (All under the guise of being in the best interests of his family.)

            She has now successfully achieved isolating Harry away from Britain, in Canada (where he still likely had some friends/contacts or supports) and now further isolation in the US – on her own home turf where she has more “support” and he is further distanced from his own normal support lines.

            All of these incidents are different, and increasing, levels of control over Harry – which she is getting away with. By the time she is done she will have cheapened Harry further, caused him to completely fly in the face of his own morals, and littered the headlines with everpresence. At some point he may be having a hard time looking at himself in the mirror – especially because of how he’ll see himself and the weight of the fact that he was deceived (when and if he ever realizes it) and especially because most people do hold him to a higher standard since he is royalty and a public figure.

            All the current jeering etc., directed at Meghan will only amount to fuel, or challenge fuel, and further, she will just use that to secure support from others under the guise of being maligned, mistreated and misunderstood. All good. Still equals attention and control.
            And she still have no trouble looking herself in the mirror.

            Of course, being what she is, she will never be *made* to account for much – if anything. But I guess that is my idea of ‘not getting away with it.’

          3. Violetta says:


            She’s a perfect example of seizing control in the moment but sacrificing it long-term. Eventually, she’ll be replaced in the headlines by a more recent scandal, if not entirely than at least significantly. Remember Tiger Woods literal car crash and metaphoric car crash divorce? Remember Britney kissing Madonna at the VMA? Actually, remember Madonna? (Yeah, I wore the multiple bracelets and the lace scarf around my head at one time too.)

            People make fun of Paul McCartney looking like an old woman or call the Rolling Stones the Strolling Bones, but they’ve left a musical legacy that will probably outlive them. Louise Brooks aged into a withered alcoholic, but she not only was rediscovered as as silent screen actress far more interesting than people who were more popular at the time, but also left a series of scathing articles about the Hollywood system. Petula Clark’s biggest pop hits were in the ’60s, but she did live radio before and musical theatre after. I saw her at a casino years ago, and she can create a complete character in one song, even without the context of a show if it’s from a score.

            Meghan has no craft. She has nothing. She doesn’t even have the business savvy of the K-dashes or Bethenny Frankel, who are annoying as hell, but know their markets. She will be reduced to “whatever happened to?” like Balloon Boy and Darva Conger. She won’t be entirely forgotten, but she won’t have that A-list career or status she thought she deserved. She won’t be cast in productions or invited to red carpets nearly as much as she assumes, especially as time passes and even her scandal value subsides.

            Sadly, she will indeed not blame herself. We know who’s going to be blamed, and some sites are already making parody versions of her divorce statement: “I tried to help him, but he wouldn’t let me near” “I still love him, but I can’t fight this battle anymore.” Etc.

            Some narcs swan around at the top for years and years without being exposed for what they are. Some are only exposed after they die. For the less famous, every town has a respected minister or PTA member who was thoroughly loathed by the people who actually knew them, but even after they croak, many people won’t speak up because they decide it’s not worth having the rest of the town condemning them for speaking ill of the dead; they confine themselves to giving private thanks that the old buzzard is finally dead.

            At least Meghan won’t have that glossy image, despite all her efforts. She’ll be in the history books, but Wallis was a better dresser.

          4. WhoCares says:


            “She’s a perfect example of seizing control in the moment but sacrificing it long-term. Eventually, she’ll be replaced in the headlines by a more recent scandal”

            We are in agreement there.

            I don’t follow the careers of celebrities close enough to have an opinion on the comparisons you provided.

            I take an interest in the lives of some celebrities now only to apply my narc learning – they make good case studies.

          5. Violetta says:

            Kathleen: I’ve visited the UK but not lived there for extended periods of time, so I can’t speak with authority on the level of racism. I did get the impression that there is more tension between Muslim and non-Muslim than there is between skin colors, but someone who lives there would have more perspective on this. In football, supporters have been known to harass players of color, but mostly if they’re playing for the opposing club. Football club loyalty seems to trump racism.

            I do know there are super-patriots of color who dress in head-to-toe Union Jacks for any parade, and Shameka Blake, a Commonwealth citizen who emigrated to the UK, was banned from Twitter for her criticism of Meghan Markle. She’s still on YouTube as “Shammy1b”–NSFW, but hilarious.

            In this country, Wendy Williams already said she “weaseled her way into the Royal Family,” and there’s also Lipstick Alley’s Unpopular Opinions thread. So Megs can try to blame everything on bigotry, but like the rest of her defenses, there’s not much to shore it up.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            It´s the Union Flag, except when it is flown at sea and then it is the Union Jack.

          7. Kathleen says:

            Thanks HG! I just read that the other day. I’m studying up on the UK before I visit. I’m trying to understand the culture a bit. I even tried to make clotted cream the other day LOL. But I didn’t have unpasteurized cream… It doesn’t work so great. I’m going to try again once I get to a store that has unpasteurized cream. I hope I get to visit England this year…

          8. SMH says:

            I did not know that, HG, even after spending a solid 13 years of my life in the UK. Amazing what one learns on KTN.

          9. HG Tudor says:

            It is all about the knowledge here, SMH.

          10. SMH says:

            Absolutely, HG!

          11. Violetta says:

            HG: I had no idea. I suspect most people on this side of the Atlantic also don’t know. Learn something new every day…

          12. Renarde says:


            Oh where to start!

            The Welsh are very insular. They largely loathe the English but we provide them with revenue through the holiday industry.

            Native Wellians are largely small and dark haired. I do love them but they can be troublesome at times. Beautiful country though, especially in the North near Snowden.

            Irish. Love them. You cannot meet a nation who are so egregious. Always up for ‘the craick’. Bonkers. But so funny and genuinely charming.

            The Scots. Weird. Always ready to knock one off at the drop of a hat. Suffer largely from ‘small men syndrome’. They are always ready to kick off at the slightest provocation. I never met an unangry Scot. Rabid? A bit

            But they can be very kind, if not a bit parsimonious. They have in our Isles the most beautiful country. Amazing. Even better the wales.

            Violetta spotted correctly that I am Scottish. In point of fact, I am descended from the Earles of Fife. Which technically means I am Royalty. I have my own tarten and everything.

            So to the English. Well, we are a funny bunch.its very hard to describe us. Many of us love the Monarchy but I percieve now their days are numbered

            A thousand years of tradition have gone right up the swanny in a matter of months

            We do largely love our Queen. But it’s not what it was. Monarchy is now so totally mistepping with the general public to be so untrue.

            That being said, there are so many beautiful places to visit. Castles, stately homes, parks and of course ancient Woodlands.

            You don’t get that really anywhere else. Yeah sure, Wales, Scotland and Eire have them but nothing like England has.Nothing can compare with our ‘Mighty Oaks’, our woodland, Elysian glades. Scotland may have bigger mountains but the English have Hearts of Oak.

            Now before I disappear up my own arse, there is a sizeable minority in the UK who are racist. The correct term for these cunts are ‘gammon’. Watch out for those twunts. . They DO NOT represent the UK.

            Kathleen, please do come and visit us. You are assured of a very warm welcome.

          13. Marri says:

            Late to the party, but I do live in England. I’m an American transplant. I lived here for three years in the 80s and currently have been here since 2001.

            When I first moved to England in the middle 80s, the first thing I noticed was the lack of racism. There were a lot of bi-racial couples to be seen. Yes, in some parts of the country there was and still is a divide. However, as a Chicagoan, or actually as near as one as damn it is to swearing being a South ‘burb gal, the acceptance of Blacks here was very noticeable.
            I have not seen evidence of racial intolerance towards Blacks – at least in the cosmopolitan areas we lived in, or indeed out in the country, where we are now.

            Yes, in days gone by, i.e., the Windrush scandal, there was racial prejudice and intolerance towards Blacks. But again, currently it is not as it can be in the States, or certainly was when I lived back home.
            Nowadays it is mostly focused on Muslims and MIddle-Easteners.

            When it was first announced that Harry was serious, then engaged to MM, no end of people asked me if I was ”…thrilled an American caught her Prince…”. Not having a clue who she was, I looked her up, read some articles, and thought – oh my, this is trouble. She was going to be about as good for the Royal Family’s PR as Wallace Simpson had been.

            It took one picture to suss her out. It was the one of her and Harry standing together, she in a white coat, with her back arched, a smirk smile, with her hand held up mimicking her back posture and clutching at Harry.
            That, along with the statement released about them wanting to ‘modernize the RF’ was cringe worthy. She hasn’t disappointed.

            In all honesty, I’ve not seen or heard overt racial comments in regards to MM. In the engagement and wedding phase, the general populace truly took her to their hearts.
            I was the holdout, and I got a lot of stick for it. I just kept saying, ‘Wait. Wait for it, there is going to be real problems ahead. She has NO idea what marrying British is; she has no idea that she will not be able to force the RF to do what she wants. She is about spouting off and making change, and she won’t be able to live with having a set protocol. She will find it too stuffy, she will rebel. She will not like pecking order and who has to curtsy to whom. She will not like not being able to express her views on all things. She will not like having no public say on politics, or controversial topics. ‘ (Two things the British Royal Family stay clear of. Even the Queen.)

            The public, who were so quick to gather to their hearts, quickly got tired of high opinion of herself, her hypocrisy, her preaching. Come on, motivational messages on bananas for sex workers?
            It was the hypocrisy more than anything The debacle over Frogmore further chipped away.
            The flouting of the Wimbledon dress code for the Royal Box. And the showing up on a whim without notification. That, coupled with the telling off of someone who wasn’t even taking a photo of her, but of himself.
            It quickly became, who does she think she is?

            Then the two of them lecturing people not to fly…but taking private planes, doesn’t matter to whom they belong, they were still private, fuel guzzling planes, 3(?) in five days. Then Harry flying off to a environment conference to stand barefoot and lecture people not to travel to save the world. In a word, hypocrisy.
            It all eroded any bonhomie people had for them.

            But, it’s so easy for MM to say, and for her to coach her friends into saying it’s all down to racism. It is not. Hypocrisy is not about colour. She can’t / won’t accept the fault is in her.

            Among all my British friends and acquaintances, ever since last Autumn, with the constant upstaging, and with each utterance and announcement, the phrase on their lips is, “Just who does she think she is?!”
            I don’t understand how they can have so many followers on their Instagram account – unless they are just wanting to see the next train wreck unfold.

            It would be nice if William and Catherine would have one more child to push Harry off the succession list.

            If I can just add a little aside here –
            I was the independent, sometimes opinionated, career woman. Since I was little, I was drawn to English history and have been in love with the country. Lucky me, met an Englishman, married him in the Summer of our lives, and moved here permanently.
            While I won’t say I’ve had to completely change, there was some toning down of my ‘Americanism’, to adjust to how things are done here.
            It’s the adjusting and compromising my instinct told me MM would never do. She didn’t.

          14. Kathleen says:

            Thanks for that summary Marri. You validate my thoughts and perceptions as an American. I really love the monarchy and all that history and pomp and circumstance- Americans are becoming less And less tolerable of everything… and pick apart history and protocol and respecting past sacrifice that now allows so many Freedom’s and so on. I habe British envy. I trust your assessment growing up in Chicago- I grew up in Cleveland- similar demographic composition… and politics.
            You sum up my feelings on how MM would never survive as a member of royal family.
            Her biggest supporters are likely other narcissistic people who “ don’t like to be told what to do” And think things like “dress codes” and respect of authority or elders- are bad. Entitled people who will not sacrifice and who willfully resist when asked to –

          15. Karen Conger says:

            Spot on.

  10. Dolores Haze says:

    The woman just keeps giving you new material for The Very series daily, HG. First shamelessly taking credit for the BBC donation with a misleading press statement, now making a song and dance about “quietly” and “discreetly” delivering some meals in LA. She makes me want to vomit.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      She is the gift which keeps on giving.

  11. Violetta says:

    Latest attempt of Sussexes to give woms without ringing the bell before them (yeah, right) brought this comment:

    “It’s not security camera footage. Watch the video. The pap agency hasn’t removed the audio. You can hear the photography whispering. You can hear the camera clicks. And the camera isn’t mounted. It’s hand held”

    1. Violetta says:

      Give *Alms

  12. Violetta says:

    The MegBots are out in force today on DM. I commented on “US-born aristocrat Lady Julie Montagu says being around ’emotionally open’ Americans will be good for Prince Harry as he builds a new life in California with Meghan Markle ” that it wasn’t being “emotionally open”; it was oversharing, and Americans get tired of it too. within less than a minute, they got complaints and took it down. Then I rephrased it and said we just talk too much. Someone complained about that too.

    Best to put comments as a reply to someone’s else’s (using laptop: phones won’t let you reply), because the ‘Bots are watching the new comments like hawks.

    The replies, however–especially replies to the trolls on the Worst column–say everything but the kitchen sink. Using letes, people have said things a lot more outrageous than I have, including comments referencing body parts, body functions, and professions requiring the use of sidewalks.

    1. Trudy says:

      The MegBots have been out in force for days now in every DM article about Will and Kate, using the comments section to bash them and the Queen. I am stunned that Meg and Harry are using Charles’ money to pay the Bots to savage the Cambridges and the Queen. I know I shouldn’t be stunned, but I am.

      1. Violetta says:


        I wonder if Meg could be psychotic in addition to having NPD. It is perfectly possible to have one without the other: our favorite narc HG shows no signs of psychosis, and I’ve met more than a few perfectly harmless (except to themselves) psychotics.

        Someone posted an anecdote about being involved in some kind of fashion shoot deal with Meghan, who was not well known at the time. Her “rep” made a bunch of diva demands, the deal fell through, and the “rep” responded with a torrent of foul-mouthed abuse–all via email. Another fashion shoot deal with someone else fell apart under similar circumstances, and someone who spoke to Meghan in person said she was horrified to hear what her “rep” had done. You know what’s coming: the IP address for both Meg’s and her “rep” was the same computer in the same house, a residence, not a business.

        It’s not unheard of for struggling performers to pretend to be their own representation, either to negotiate better terms or just to look more established than they are. But for a little-known performer to insist on diva demands to the point of blowing the booking is highly unusual. Usually, they play nice until they’re powerful enough to show their true nasty nature.

        In addition, Meghan seems to show little understanding of how to maintain her facade. Compare her to Miranda Kerr, whom I strongly suspect of being a full narc (tells easily discredited lies, acts like she’s being terribly kind flashing her glamorous life at some pimply teen in Byron Bay buying overpriced Kora products in a hopeless effort to look like Miranda, vegan/gluten-free virtue-signalling, etc.). Kerr seems comparatively stable in her own vaccuous way. After her diva behavior got her the boot from Victoria’s Secret, Mango, David Jones, and husband Orlando Bloom, she or her management released the usual bland statements about wanting to spend more time with her son and on her own business, growing apart from Orlando but they’re “still friends,” and she promptly went out and landed the Snapchat guy. Considering she hit 30 when all of this was happening, an age that has contributed to nervous breakdowns in far better adjusted individuals, I call that landing on her feet.

        Turning this one over to HG: any possibility that Meghan is psychotic or has some other mental issue in addition to being a narcissist?

        1. HG Tudor says:


  13. Alexissmith2016 says:

    On a separate note The National Theatre are doing weekly screens. This week it’s ‘Jane Ayre’. Goodness I haven’t thought about this post knowledge. Striking!

    For any other theatre lovers, last week was James Corden in, ‘One man two Guvnors’. I missed that, god damn it! Can’t beat a bit of the ole JC!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Easy tiger!

    2. Lorelei says:

      Dear Alexis—I love theatre but it’s all on hold. I was to see Fireflies and it’s been rescheduled for June. I know there will be no Shakespeare in the park..

  14. lisk says:

    Narcwell for more accuracy.

    Or is that the other name for Angel Assistance?

  15. Carolyn says:

    When it was announced that the name Archie came from the Greek arche, I decided to do a little experiment. I changed my keyboard so that it typed Greek letters, then into Google Translate I typed the name Archie, and it translated as ‘milking’ which is exactly what they’re doing with their Royal connections – milking them for all their worth!

    1. HG Tudor says:


    2. Violetta says:

      I just can’t see the he word “milking” now without thinking about the scenario with the table and the glory hole in SATN.

      Tell me, HG, was the woman dressed like a naughty dairymaid?


  16. Chihuahuamum says:

    Great article HG! I cant say i was surprised they moved to california. I think moving to Canada was i think to ease back into meghans world without being too obvious. Tbh ive lost interest in the two and theyve more or less morphed into just another hollywood couple.
    I think meghan resented giving up her acting career and this is another reason why the move back. She wants to be back in her own world with her own people. The question is how will Harry fit in? Hes not a stranger to moving in higher circles so im sure in that regard he will be ok but will he ever feel it can be his world as well or will he become meghans shadow and a mere glimpse of his former self.
    I had seen a headline on a magazine at the checkout that the queen has decided to step down and that William and Kate will be crowned king and queen. Of course i dont put too much stock in tabloids and did not look into it.
    I think that harry will be walking in a lot of peoples shadows. Hopefully he can focus on being the best dad he can be for his son. I hope we see Princess Di come out in him and he is able to be a great parent despite the turmoil that lies ahead.

    1. Renarde says:


      I think that’s intresting that the US mags are saying that. It cannot be true of course for several reasons.

      1 HM is Head of State and Defender of the Faith. She straddles two massive areas of power in the Commenwealth but…

      2 She does not control succession. No hereditary Monarch can because of…

      3 Primogenture. The Carolingians had a very funny thing called ‘Partible Inheritence’. This split Europe up. Her Heir WILL inherit on her death. No question. Charles will be king unless…

      4 He becomes King and immediately puts the Instrument of Abdication in front of the Government. Just like E8. Charles would not do this in eleventy-billion years even though the younger Wills might be the better choice. Why? Because PC is a MRN narc

      And of course

      5 – The UK has no constitution. The closest we have is the Magna Carter. Drawn up approx 1215 because John utterly lost control of the Barons. The Barons sought then to limit the power of the monarchy. What UK criminal and common law is based on is PRECEDENT.

      So the simple fact is, Charles will inherit and Camzilla will be Queen. Ignore all this tommyrot about them having a monorgamatic marriage. That was just fluff printed out by RW news agencies who did not want their sales to drop based on the loyal readership they had for Diana.

      Hope this helps, Chi.

      1. Chihuahuamum says:

        Hi renarde…ty for your reply. I figured it was just tabloid headlines.

    2. Carolyn says:

      I’d definitely ignore any magazine which claims the Queen will abdicate in favour of William. She will never abdicate, and the next in line is Prince Charles. The line of succession can’t be altered.

  17. Christopher Jackson says:

    Great one hg I dont think this relationship is going to last give 2 to maybe 3 years it will be over

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you CJ.

      1. Cat says:

        Do you think Harry will be able to escape though, HG?

        Her making him burn his bridges is a bit of what Wallis Simpson did to Prince Edward maybe. Coming back to the royal family in the UK from having resigned from his prince title can be embarrassing. An enormous step. I hope he makes it.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes, but I suspect he will be disengaged before escape happens.

  18. AnnaD says:

    I had a laugh when I found out that the archewellfoundation.com site was redirected to Kayne West’s YouTube video “Gold Digger”. Meghan must be vexed! Hehehe. Also in the Greek word “arche” the “ch” is pronounced as a “k”. Eg architect, archetype, archives, even monarch. So it is not related to the name Archie in any way. Thank you Mr Tudor for this series.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome and you are correct, although of course MM will apply the Narcissistic Perspective which can be exemplified by Humpty Dumpty

      ““When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.” “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.” “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.””

      1. Renarde says:

        Now Boss. I liked your statement here but you are deliberately conflating two well known nursery tales.

        Of course, you dont do anything without meaning. Ever.

        Deus est machina.

        So Sparkles is The Egg. But will all the Queens horses and all the Queens men will ever be able to put her back together again?


        Unlike us Empaths, she can never be granted the priveledge of Kintsugi. Poor cow.

        1. Violetta says:

          Carroll did the conflating. That’s a direct quote.

      2. strongerwendyme says:

        From ‘Through the Looking Glass’ – haven’t read that since I was a child. Didn’t realize Humpty was such a massive narc!

  19. Supernova DE says:

    Slightly off topic but is Malcolm Gladwell a greater narc?
    I was just thinking (as I’m listening to his latest book right now) that he would be the perfect incredibly intelligent person to do a podcast on you, or better yet a whole book on you and the topic of narcissism. But then it hit me…what if he is actually a Cerebral Greater and his empathic persona is all cognitive….

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am not familiar with him, save he appears to be channeling Leo Sayer.

      1. Violetta says:

        The hair is more vertical than Sayer’s 180* halo, but the nerdy face is close enough.

        Please tell me he doesn’t also have the Bargain Counter-Tenor. The man sounded as if someone had jammed a hatpin in his scrot.

      2. Renarde says:

        Orf to google!

      3. Supernova DE says:

        Haha! Had to google Sayer but the hair is quite similar!

        1. Violetta says:

          Just don’t listen to Sayer. He had a lot of hits during the disco era, but even oldies stations are more likely to play the Bee Gees or Donna Summer than Sayer. There are reasons for that.

    2. lisk says:

      Total narcs many of these trendy non-fiction best-sellerists.

      1. Supernova DE says:

        I know I agree but gladwell seems like an empath. He writes/talks about so many stories that very obviously involve narcs, and he seems clueless (but he’s soooo smart which is a slight red flag to me).

        HG says even incredibly intelligent people are duped by him all the time. And if you listen to Gladwell talking to Oprah, it really seems like he’s a clueless, albeit incredibly intelligent, non-narc.

        Side note- HG doing “a very” on Oprah would be quite wide reaching also!!!!!

        1. lisk says:

          I tried and just can’t read fully read his books. I find his writing overtly manipulative and unconvincing. Maybe he is dumbing down to teach a wider audience.

          Maybe I’ll try again to figure out what bugs me about his work (or lack thereof).

          1. Supernova DE says:

            It’s so funny you wrote this, because I just said something similar about Gladwell to my husband. Gladwell is so brilliant, but acts clueless as to why OBVIOUS narcs and sociopaths do what they do and why narc/empath encounters go the way they go.
            This exact fact is why I questioned if he is a narc himself. My husband argues that he is dumbing things down to a wider audience, and that only super smart people would “get it” if he didn’t.

            In his latest book he goes into detail about Sandra Bland’s arrest and subsequent suicide in Texas. In the audiobook version the actual police dash-cam tapes are used so you hear the altercation between Bland and the police officer. To me, it sounded pretty obvious that the officer was a narc whose fury had ignited. “Get out of the car, I will LIGHT YOU UP!” (Aren’t many police somatic LMRN, just my humble opinion!). But Gladwell explains the officer’s behavior by saying “he was influenced by x, y, and z, and he was scared for his safety yada yada”. Idk, it’s hard to swallow. Gladwell seems too smart to REPEATEDLY be blind to patterns of behavior in the topics he covers. But, he has to have listeners and sell books too. Just another example of the real issue (narcissism) not coming to the fore.

  20. Narc noob says:

    Is your GD building momentum now that matrinarc is getting older, or perhaps c-19 might influence it some more?

    I’m wondering if these particular articles you write above gain you the best kind of attention – perhaps a journalist has/will swing by to bring you more coverage. I always thought a good televised E v N story would be the best outcome – ensuring narcsite and the anonymous HG is mentioned.

    Hope you’re not working too hard, HG! 😉

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Read Knowing HG, NN, you will learn more about the GD.

  21. Kathleen says:

    Thank you HG! Hope you are well! Stay healthy- great update _ I was not aware of those two NOC moves… The arch well and the silence on the Queens speech! Wow.
    I did watch the queen’s speech and it was very top shelf. 👏.
    Looking forward to more excellent insight

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  22. Violetta says:


    DM headline:
    “Meghan Markle and Prince Harry suffer an embarrassing blunder as the link to their new Archewell charitable foundation website redirects fans to Kanye West’s Gold Digger
    Fans who type in http://www.archewellfoundation.com will be redirected to YouTube
    Automatically plays music video to Kanye West’s Gold Digger feat. Jamie Foxx
    Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced they are launching Archewell this week”

    1. Violetta says:

      Comment on the above article:

      “LOL Was looking through over domains possibilities they would name it and it seems like thearchewell dot foundation sends you to a Dixie Chicks song called Gaslighter. I looked up the lyrics as I have never heard this song before – hilarious. Keep it coming whoever is buying these websites.”

      1. zwartbolleke says:

        V, way off topic but I know I can find you on this topic!
        Today there is a special edition on Bach Archive Facebook Channel, (starts within an hour) the complete Johannespassion from his grave in Leipzig in the Thomaskirche. You don’t want to miss this!
        Members of a famous choir advised me not to miss this!

        1. Violetta says:

          Thank you, Zwarte. I’m not on FB, but I’ll see if I can get on this anyhow.

    2. Renarde says:


      Fucking hell, that’s hysterical!

      How are you lovely, keeping well I trust?

      1. Violetta says:

        Bored, depressed, irritable. One news source said dogs can’t get Covid-19 or carry it: you’d have to touch wet fur right after someone sneezed on it, then stick your fingers in your eye/nose to get it. Another said a dog in China did get it, and DM is saying wash your dog at least once a week. Now I don’t know whether I can say hello to my neighbors’ dogs or not when I head out for groceries.

        Sense of smell gradually returning, contacted Red Cross about donating antibodies if I have them, but people who were officially diagnosed and declared fully recovered (with documentation) will go first. They told me that those of us who did not seek treatment (usually because we had mild cases with few symptoms) would be contacted when they had the antibodies test.

        Had a preliminary interview for a teaching position in Appalachia. They asked me point-blank if I could stand to live in a rural area, and I said honestly that I could deal with urban and I could deal with rural, but I couldn’t stand suburbia. I also asked about trail-riding, because I had done some searching and saw a lot of boarding stables in the area, but wasn’t sure if any rented.

        It’s just ironic, because I had been thinking about returning to the East Coast and publishing/government office work. Now I might have the chance to teach again. OTOH, it;s one year-renewable (though with good benefits), so what if I move, we don’t love each other, and I have to move again? OTOH (running out of hands here), I’ll have made reasonable money during that time, plus I’ll be doing what I love best. It’s composition, not literature, but they do take a rhetorical approach, which is how I prefer to teach–as opposed to that Carl Rogers/Dale Carnegie mashup they implemented during my last days at F.U.

        Trying to get my courage up to listen to the “Narcissist at Work” recordings, which I finally coughed up for when I realized that I would probably never avoid Narcs entirely, so I’d better learn how to reduce the chances that I’d be the preferred target. Sex and the Narcissist has proven entertaining as well as informative, rather than painful (really, HG? “Milking” someone through a hole in a table and horse-masks on a web connection to Santiago?), but there’s always that hesitation. It’s like a psychological defloration: it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as you feared, but the anxiety beforehand is dreadful. (See, HG, you can still find virgins–sort of.)

        1. Renarde says:


          I do get you on SATN. But that was the very book I read. It certainly is an entertaining read.

          Good luck on the job offer. I’m suprised that’s even going now. The UK job centres are shut.

          The police here seem to be on the verge if running out of control. Its every narcs dream. A tiny bit of power. Roadblocks and inspecting baskets ffs. Policing by consent. It’s just floating over their ears.

          Yeah, I guess it’s easier to wander around telling people that they cant sit in their front gardens rather than investigate, oh, rape?

          Only the DM could come out with washing your dog once a week. I mean, really?

          Actually, I might threaten the Overlords with a shower. I’ve not slept well this past few nights but last night, I was like the dead.

          When I woke up, there was chunks of the Tom’s hair everywhere. Never seen that before. I suspect another cat got in through the kitchen window. And was chased out. He’s here now, sunning himself by the door.


          1. Violetta says:

            There were comments on the DM article noting that weekly baths would be excessive for a number of breeds and lead to skin problems.

            I think the official medical consensus at this point is, “We don’t actually know; were just guessing.”

  23. Horseyak says:

    I don’t know why, but I need to believe that had Diana lived, there’s no way Harry would have married the little bitch.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Horseyak, good to see you here again.

    2. Violetta says:

      Married? Had Diana lived, he probably wouldn’t even bothered with a one-off. MM absolutely played on his longing for a mother substitute and sense of obligation to “avenge” her.

      1. Renarde says:

        Yes, I think this might be very true. The lure of sex with a semi-attractive woman. Appealing to his need to be cared for. And then being the son of the most famous woman on the planet.

        Her ethnicity does need to be brought to the fore here. I suspect that it wasnt because Meghan was mixed race that he was attracted to but I percieve he thought he was doing something good. Something unusual.

        Its incredibly hard to explain without coming across as racist yourself.

        I am not racist.

        But Sparkles was novel. And I suspect part of him felt he was cocking a snook at the white, male, gammon establishment.

        Not that he coupled with her for that reason. I would not believe that for a SECOND.

        But then it’s easy to see how Harry could be tied into that narrative. Everyone hates her because she is mixed race.

        Narcissism holds no boundaries. Black, white, Asian, straight, bi or gay. Like CV19, it just hits.

  24. Geminimom says:

    She blackmailed Harry. And what’s with the prosthetic baby? Just admit the kid (Harry’s) is staying with the surrogate mom. If she gave birth to her own baby, the baby would be used for attention. And they have to be divorced secretly by now. Nobody likes her.

  25. Mercy says:

    I’ve lost alot of respect for Prince Harry. At a time when the world is so fragile, he has the ability to make a difference in people’s lives. The PM being in ICU is a wake up call to everyone. Wealth, power and status cannot stop this virus. People are scared. Prince Harry should be there for the British people even if all he can do is be a symbol of unity and strength. I understand his current position in his relationship but, even when I was deep within my entanglement there were deal breakers. Where is the compassion for his country?

    1. WhoCares says:

      Hi Mercy,

      Hope you are keeping well through all of this ♥️

      Could it be that perhaps, internally, Harry is actually torn? Only, he feels that he has to prioritize, or chose one thing over the other, since he cannot be in two places at once? And you can be sure that while we may know that Meghan would fare just fine without him for a while; she certainly would be conveying otherwise to him – and she would be completely unwilling to return to the UK with him at this time. Maybe he actually would like to be in Britain but has reasoned it out that Britain has many people who can look after it, while his family has only him?

      I would lay bets that after it’s all over between him and Meghan that he will feel betrayed and even hate himself for being allowed to be seduced away from his core values (solidarity with his country etc.) for what is a actually a falsehood. And at this time he may feel he is exhibiting loyalty to his immediate family – which he is, but his sense of duty and responsibility is being exploited without him realizing it.

      1. Violetta says:

        Question is, will he stand up for Archie against Meghan? She may never become openly abusive; more likely, she’ll alternate between benign neglect and trotting Archie out for photo ops, but if she justifies something really destructive with Word Salad explanations of why it’s For His Own Good, will Harry be able to pull himself together long enough to protect his own kid?

        1. WhoCares says:

          Good points Violetta.

          “… will he stand up for Archie against Meghan?”

          I wonder too. That was one of the reasons why I left my relationship: to protect our child…and to protect my ability to parent.

          I agree with you that she may never resort to overt abuse. As for “…trotting Archie out for photo ops”, of course that will happen. And Harry will want to protect his son from that kind of exposure (and protect Meghan too) – but will he ever see that it will be unconsciously engineered to happen by her, but ‘never her fault’ from the narcissistic perspective?

          1. WhoCares says:

            Actually, it is interesting. Would the perspective – if the tables were turned and Harry were female – still be that he should stand up to his spouse to protect the child involved?

          2. Violetta says:

            I think we’d say even sooner, not just stand up, but stand up and walk out, taking the kid. WITHOUT prior discussion, preferably when NarciSpouse is at work or otherwise engaged. I believe HG has helped spouses, partners, and co-parents deal with exactly such situations.

            I’ve had more than one DM reader reply to one of my posts referring people to a Narcsite article with a suggestion that we “get Harry on this website.” Oh, that we could! He might not be ready for the AVRN series, but I bet “Isolation” and “Closer to Heaven” would ring a few bells.

          3. WhoCares says:


            “I think we’d say even sooner, not just stand up, but stand up and walk out, taking the kid. WITHOUT prior discussion, preferably when NarciSpouse is at work or otherwise engaged. I believe HG has helped spouses, partners, and co-parents deal with exactly such situations.”

            I don’t disagree with you. I am one that did just that: took the kid and walked out, without prior discussion, sometime before finding my way to KTN. But I am sure if you asked many of those parents who have done that, or that HG has helped, that there is an internal battle that goes on first. I think that internal battle is different for men – with different preconceived notions and stereotypes to come to terms with. I also think that “public” opinion and judgement of men in these situations is different ( those not having the benefit of a narcsite education anyway) – for example: “You just need to man up and stand up to her.” Or, “You’re the one with anger management issue and you just need to deal with it, pal.”

            It is unfortunate that more men don’t speak up here to share their experience.

      2. Mercy says:

        WhoCares, I am keeping well through all of this. Thank you, and I hope you are well too. Crazy little mess we are all going through huh?

        I understand what you are saying and I don’t disagree. I don’t think he should go back to the UK, not now anyway. I just think a response to the Queen’s speech and maybe a message of support to the Brits would be appropriate. IDK maybe I’m holding him to a higher standard than I would any other person in a relationship with a narc, but he’s royalty. He IS a higher standard!

        I hope when when he finally sees through the illusion, he will have access to advisors to help him and little Archie through this with the least amount of public public damage (although I’m sure she will try to destroy him). I’m hoping for a happy ending even though I’m disappointed now.

        1. WhoCares says:


          “Crazy little mess we are all going through huh?”

          It’s a tad off the charts in some ways, fortunately I have been able to shelter from the worst of the crazy – so far. And, in spite of it, my son and I have managed to have some fun too.
          How are your girls holding out?

          As for the Harry situation, I agree with you: support of the Queen’s speech and a message to the British people would have been commendable. But I really don’t think Harry is currently capable of acting or thinking the way he normally would – were many of us still at peak functioning during devaluation?
          He will need somebody to advise him, absolutely. And if he ever sees Narcsite, hopefully he wanders down to the comment section, sees people caring and commiserating, and doesn’t beat himself up too harshly.

          1. Mercy says:


            The girls are doing good. Thanks for asking. I am going to my youngest today (she has the grandbabies) but I’m dropping of Easter dinner to the other two. They’ll have dinner with us on zoom. I’m thankful that we all still have our jobs but I worry about my youngest working in the hospital. It was reported that 23% of the positive cases in our state are the medical workers. How is your son handling the social distancing? It’s so hard on the little ones. We’ve told my 6 year old grandson about the sickness and staying safe. So far he has accepted that without too many questions. I wonder what his little mind is thinking though.

          2. WhoCares says:


            That is good to hear. Those sound like lovely Easter plans.
            That is concerning regarding your youngest – I just don’t know what to make of all the statistics, they are so ‘in your face’…best to excercise caution and be prudent I guess. Hopefully she is not working long hours and getting too worn down?

            My son doesn’t mind the social distancing so far, he is quite industrious and takes initiative to entertain himself. At the beginning we butted heads over “screen time” – which is challenging because I need to get stuff done. I also recognize that I am playmate, homeschooler, disciplinarian, chef, etc., right now…so I was lenient with screen time at the beginning of school closures/social distancing but then I had to put a stop to that because it was leading to resentment on his part….so we went a little “cold turkey” with that and it’s been better. He has rediscovered his train sets etc…he is only now expressing hope for the end of the coronavirus so that his friends can come see the layout of his train tracks etc.
            He has been handling it pretty awesome actually.
            That’s good that your 6 year old grandson is not too concerned- I think the biggest thing is to not let any stress we are feeling to feed their worries and to protect them from the media onslaught. They take their cues from how we are handling it.

            Have a good Easter weekend Mercy 💜

  26. About the eyes says:

    I am glad you have written this series.
    1. Because of the series I found (via Google) this site.
    2. I was able to consult you about “my own narcissists”.
    3. The case Harry-Meghan is the perfect example of how narcissists work.
    4. I always liked your prince Harry (I am not from England) until he changed when he met Meghan.
    5. Without your series I would have thought: “spoiled and woke prince”. Now I understand the change and see who the perpetrator and who the victim is.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome ATE. The A Very Series is informative and interesting as a stand alone series of analysis, but also it is intended to create a bridge to people who otherwise might not know about narcissism and think “Wait a moment, what he does/what he is suffering I recognise as happening in my life,” cue lightbulb.

  27. dollyponduk says:

    So pleased to see part 14 of this series of articles.. I originally found the earlier ones via a link in the Daily Mail comments section and it is what lead to my learning what a narcissist is. I previously suspected my Mother was a sociopath but having historically read about the subject it just did not ring true. However narcissism is bang on target. I feel that I can now make sense of our relationship and pretty much everything she does and did. It has allowed me to be less emotionally reactive to her interactions with me. I am currently reading ‘Fuel’ and actually enjoying the realisation that not everything really is my fault!!!! I am also rewriting history with respect to a past ‘romantic’ relationship and my interpretations.
    My late Father and I took it in turns to be in and out of favour. I am wondering if painting black and white and being on the shelf will be a fair description of this scenario and if so is there a book to help my understanding of these concepts? Many thanks

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello DPUK, I recommend that you go the knowledge vault https://narcsite.com/the-knowledge-vault/ and obtain Shelf Life : Deciphering What is Going on and also Black and White : On the Shelf, they will provide you with considerable insight.

  28. WhoCares says:

    An excellent and insightful update.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      hank you WC.

  29. SMH says:

    Fun read, HG. I did not realize that they made no mention of the Queen’s speech, though I was aware of the other happenings. That lack of mention is very telling. Plus, dumb name for a Foundation. No one will know how to pronounce it – Arch-well? Archay-well? Arkay-well?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I understand it is pronounced Facade Management, SMH.

      1. Renarde says:

        There is a Python sketch in that…was it Mangrove Throatwarberler?

        1. Violetta says:

          Python wiki here, Renarde:


          You couldn’t do what the Pythons or the In Living Color folks did these days. Except for South Park; they get a partial pass because it’s animated.

          1. Renarde says:

            Ha ha! That’s it! Raymond Luxury Yaught!

        2. SMH says:

          That’s not my name!

          1. Renarde says:

            Ha ha!

          2. Violetta says:

            Are you calling me darling?
            Are you calling me bird?
            Are you calling me darling?
            Are you calling me bird?

            They call me “Hell”
            They call me “Stacey” (Are you calling me darling?)
            They call me “her”
            They call me “Jane”
            That’s not my name
            That’s not my name
            That’s not my name
            That’s not my name
            They call me “quiet girl”
            But I’m a riot Mary, Jo, Lisa (Are you calling me bird?)
            Always the same
            That’s not my name
            That’s not my name
            That’s not my name
            That’s not my name

            – Ting Tings

          3. Renarde says:


          4. SMH says:

            Figures there’s a song. How about No One Cares except for the trolls.

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