The Duchess of Sussex has spoken of the unbearable pressure of life in the spotlight as a member of the Royal Family, saying it is no longer enough for her to “just survive” it. Naturally, being a new member to the Royal Family necessitates scrutiny and being thrust into the spotlight. Furthermore, as an actress who appeared on a popular television show “Suits” and also someone who knew she was marrying into the Royal Family was fully aware of the level of the limelight she was becoming exposed to. She did so knowingly and more importantly willingly, she did so willingly because her narcissism embraced this as a method of asserting control of a huge scale and drawing fuel from an extensive and varied fuel matrix. Of course, Meghan Markle is not aware that this is the case, her narcissism operates in an unconscious fashion, but it is the driving force behind her behaviour and her actions and words as previously analysed demonstrate her narcissism and also how she is unaware of the various manipulative behaviours she engages in, because in order for her narcissism to function, it must blind her to what she is actually doing.
A classic example of that related to the banana incident as highlighted in the article A Very Royal Narcissist 2 . Briefly, Meghan Markle signed bananas for sex workers with supposedly empowering and supportive messages. She consciously believed this was a kind and thoughtful gesture. She was unaware that it was grandiose, lacking emotional empathy, transgressing boundaries and was done to garner control of the situation by ensuring all eyes were on her and that she would manage her facade to look kind and considerate. All of those things were being done by her narcissism in an unconscious way, but she cannot see how her behaviour appears, because her narcissism blinds her to it.
The Duchess´comment about the unbearable pressure of her life in the spotlight (ironically enough being conveyed ahem through the spotlight – but of course such irony is lost on her) is actually a Pity Play designed to elicit sympathy for her predicament. This sympathy is fuel and signals to her that she has control. It is also being used to blame shift by stating that anything she does is not because she is to blame (the narcissist must always reject accountability) but is the fault of someone or something else. In this instance it is the pressure that is the problem and those generating the problem, namely the media (more on that in due course). The Duchess is triangulating between herself, viewers and the media pressure in order to assert control.
The Duchess, said it is essential for her to “thrive” and “feel happy”, warning that simply enduring with unwanted scrutiny is “not the point of life”. This is another Pity Play.
The Duchess’s words, in which she insists she has “really tried” to adopt the British stiff upper lip before concluding it is “internally really damaging”, will lend weight to fears that the Sussexes are seeking a path away from traditional royal family life. (Pity Play. Threatened Loss. This is foreshadowing the threat of not following a traditional family life, which is again being done to assert control. Threatened Loss similar to the use of Future Faking is using a future event to assert control in the here and now. By suggesting that there may be a change in the future by seeking a path away from traditional royal family life, this asserts control by garnering a reaction through fuel (an emotional response from the interviewer, the listener, viewers and readers) , it is also foreshadowing potential isolation by removing Prince Harry (who is the Duchess´Intimate Partner Primary Source (the most important provider of fuel, character traits and residual benefits which are the Prime Aims of the narcissist) from control from other people who would interfere with the Duchess´control of him) and also Blame Shifting. The Blame Shifting is occasioned by rejecting accountability for the withdrawal (which is all about isolating Prince Harry from perceived threats to her control) by pinning there blame on the media. This of course has some plausibility (hence why the narcissism does this – it would be pointless saying “We are going to seek a period of isolation because the moon of made of cheese” as that would not make any sense.) owing to the fact that the media are seen as intrusive. However, if a normal person was taking this step, it WOULD be for reasons of avoiding media intrusion. However, where this action is taken by a narcissist, one looks at it through the prism of narcissism and this is why there is actually a different set of reasons governing this behaviour.