Are you or somebody you know chained to the narcissist? Are you a co-dependent? What does this mean? How did you become this way? How does the narcissist know what you are? How does the narcissist exploit this condition and how might you escape him? These questions and more are posed and answered in this fascinating book. Delivered direct from the dark-hearted master, the narcissist provides his unique observations on those who are co-dependent and find themselves chained to the narcissist.
23 thoughts on “Chained”
HG, I found out the other Narcissist men at my sport have a nickname for the UMR Somatic. They call him “lady killer” because they get the “vibe” that he would kill a woman. My friend also says he reminds her of Ted Bundy. I find it interesting because he choked me.
I guess they can sense something wrong about him. I cannot. Everyone else can, except me.
You do not need to sense it Whitney, you can understand it, using my work and input.
Good Goddess. That is disturbing because I was once with a UMRS. Towards the end of the relationship we consensually explored kink and choking in bed would occur.
What did happen was when it was ending, he attempted to throttle me for real. In that second; he lost control.
Until your post, I hadn’t quite put 2 and 2 together – even now.
Don’t feel bad Whitney. The mind has a very strange of protecting itself. I am sure there are many more layers of the onion to reveal but it only took HG’s work to realise what I had encountered.
Renarde, I’m so glad you’re okay from when he lost control ❤❤ . My ex was an UMRS. I like a man to spank me & choke me but he would never spank me hard enough to my liking. He wouldn’t even try the choking for a second – it seemed at the time that he was afraid. He used to say that he wanted to engage in all kinds of rough things with me, sort of threaten me but never did any of it. It just made a lightbulb go off for me that perhaps the reason he wouldn’t be a little kinky with me in that way was because it was my idea, something I wanted, so it didn’t appeal to him.
Thank you for your kind words, you sweetheart!
Physically I was ok but shaken. Mentally, not so much. I had seen these pure explosions of fury before but I’d never been on the end of one. We were in the process of separating.
Forgive me but it appears as if you are in two minds; was he afraid or was he doing it deliberately?
My recent ex, a MMRNE, did not want to engage in any serious BDSM play. By that I mean ropes, impact play with implements etc. Now, if that WAS a manipulation, it failed. I turned from a kink organiser into a vanilla. Seeing how dangerous the kink scene is, I was happy to.
The concept of ‘Informed Concent’ came up yesterday. The issue for me is, how do you know the Dom/Top has COMPLETE control? Point is: you cant.
If my story of my first Dom strikes with resonance for anybody then that is good.
I was with the UMS for 18 years and I never thought for one second he would lose control over his inner fury. But he did.
Of course, it could be a handy confluence of two separate concepts. That he was afraid and equally he wanted to withdraw.
Are you still with him?
Aww of course 💖💖
I’m glad you were separating with him at the time of that happening! I’m grateful to know that you got away before it became worse.
Sorry for the confusion haha I was/am confused myself just by wondering about what his motives for things were.
It seemed he was afraid, but that’s what my mind was questioning, that maybe it was deliberate. Like the control over me isn’t genuine control if I want to be controlled.
I had the perception they would want to do BDSM with us, but now I’m wondering if they don’t because it would mean the control they would have during the act wouldn’t be real control because we wanted it. I hope that makes sense 🤣
I completely understand how you went from being enthusiastic about it to vanilla – a smart direction after what you encountered! I don’t know when I’ll ever be with a man again, it could be years haha but I will be vanilla at that point I am sure.
I find this subject with regard to control fascinating.
No, I’m not with him. He ghosted me without a word mid August. Everything was good the last I heard from him so I had no idea what happened. He is 35 years older than me. He also ghosted friends of his that I see from time to time. I suspect that was deliberate so I’d have no way of finding anything out.
I know there have been gobs of other things going on, but has the cover been updated for the paperback yet? (Asking for a friend)
It is in progress alongside other paperback covers where the cover has been updated.
I was wondering that as well; thanks for asking MB!
Welcome back HG.
I’m Codependent HG. I’m not happy unless I’m with a Narcissist.
Great book HG. I have two questions.
1. Do you have a politics degree?
2. Is it possible for a codependent to develop into narcissist in adulthood?
Thank you in advance.
Is ‘Chained’ in paperback yet, HG?
It has been available as a paperback for some time, MB.
The paperback version with the new cover is what I meant. I wasn’t clear with my inquiry.
But is it – paperback version of Chained – sporting your new version of cover art?
Well, not yay because it isn’t sporting your new branding – but yay because I didn’t miss it in my recent order of paperbacks…which should arrive tomorrow!
It will be updated in due course, my designed has a lot to do for me at present!
That sounds like it’s a good thing!