A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 2
I recently invited readers to pen the letter that they would like to send to the narcissist that they entangled with. Here is the letter which ‘JJ’ would like to send. Does it mirror your sentiments and experience at all? How do you think the narcissist would react to receiving this?
“Hey sorry I didn’t respond to your text. I wanted to, but I wasn’t sure what to say. I mean what do I say to someone as amazing as you. You’re so much better than me. I didn’t want to disappoint you again so I didn’t respond. I hope you didn’t think it was because I wasn’t interested. I will always love you and I have thought about you every day. I know you are busy with law school and I have no idea how you manage to balance it all. You were always so much smarter than me. I feel terrible about the way things ended but you were right to break up with me. You were so good to me and I didn’t deserve you. I was so insecure and dramatic, always starting fights with you. We were so different. You with your superior etiquette, wealth and private schools and me with my inability to keep up. You were right, I took out my insecurity of not being good enough by accusing you of still wanting your ex and for that I was wrong. Of course she still texted you and wanted you. Who wouldn’t. How could I not see that you starting law school in February after quitting your job and deciding to apply in January was way more important than our June wedding. I should have just changed the date like you wanted. You were right. I was so dumb to think you should have discussed it more with me before you quit your job and changed careers. You decided you wanted to go to law school and I should have not been so selfish to expect you to worry about something as trivial as our wedding. I can’t believe I didn’t listen to someone as smart and cultured as you. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I was so poor and unpolished when you found me. I was insecure about my family not being able to pay for the wedding and I took that out on you. You were right, you were doing my family a favor by paying and planning a wedding we could never afford without you. Everything I am I owe to you. I know you spent a lot of money on the engagement ring and I want to give it back to you. I don’t deserve to keep such an expensive ring. You’re right, you should give that ring to someone who deserves your love. On the back of this letter I wrote down a time and a place for us to meet and for me to give you back the ring. I know it sounds silly but I just want to see you. Please meet me at the location and time on the back of this letter. Hope to see you soon.
Forever yours,
JJ”
(Back of letter)
“Just kidding you lying piece of shit. I know you cheated on me our entire relationship with your fat ex and probably a dozen other people at least. I say people because I am not sure they were all women. That’s ok though because I know you probably didn’t have sex with any of them since you’re some asexual freak. I also know you didn’t break up with me because I was stressing you out with wedding planning, we were all of the sudden incompatible and you just needed to be single for awhile while you get through law school. It was because when you asked me if I think you are stellar I said no. Who asks someone if they think they are stellar. You are so pathetic. I bet you even thought I really meant the front side of this letter too. Don’t contact me again when you fail out or decide to change careers for the tenth time because I don’t care about you anymore.”
13 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist – No. 2”
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A very satisfying letter to the narcissist.
yes, WhoCares, sometimes there’s nothing like expressing oneself 😉
For a minute there…I was stymied. The back of the letter was better. I see now that letters such as these are useless though. With a normal they would have an effect but with a narc it’s just a waste of energy. GOSO is a much better option.
Indeed it is TFK, the purpose of this is to say those things you would want to state to the narcissist but know you should not.
I wanted to write a letter to him to tell him how hurt l was that l missed him after 14 years together but l know he doesn’t care and it would be a waste of time. So instead l had some free catalogues sent to him, one about erectile dysfunction, another with free incontinence supplies and another with supplies for elderly handicapped people, thought that would be better reading than my letter
Carol:
That’s pretty good. I don’t think there’s much you could add to that. Maybe info on anti-fungals for toes and groin area. Or scabies support groups.
Sorry ‘JJ’ but that letter is far too long on the condescending side and far too emotional on the back for your Narc to feel anything more than a tank full of Fuel from you and for him to set up his next Hoover on you. I can almost see the Narc licking his overused lips as he slowly fills up with the emotional fuel your letter has given him.
HG & ‘JJ’:
Here is my letter to the ex Narc: ” ”
(not a damn word) 🙂
Piffle!
You’ve missed the point.
Think you’ll find I haven’t… That’s your take on it.
YourLossMyGain,
The letters in the ‘Letter to the Narcissist’ series were never meant to be sent to the actual narcissist – in case that was your take on it.
Please yourself.
BAAM JJ – how brilliant and incredibly accurate!
Hmm interesting!
It depends if the author put both front and back down and sent it off.
If just the front than she has MASSIVELY reduced the Hoover Bar. She will then be placed back again on the shelf. A potential to be interacted with when other fuel sources dry up. And they will. That’s no kind of life, for anyone.
If it’s both the front and the back. Confusion I would guess? I’ve sent ‘the back ONLY’ to a narc and because I missed him, when I asked if he would come round and fuck me; he did. No mention again of the contents of the original email – it was almost like it had never existed. But I would’ve been fuming if the situation was reversed.
I’ve seen this dynamic before with both my parents. Everything can be forgiven and forgotten without any need whatsoever to challenge me on my statements. Fuel is all. Fuel is King. (Or Queen).
The ability for a narc to wipe the slate clean is perhaps one of the most bewildering aspects of the dynamic next to ‘The Creature’.. The UMS I was with rightly pointed out, ‘Nothing is ever resolved in your family!’. Absolutely correct. Resolving serious disagreements in an adult fashion was never ever going to be on the cards.
Personally, I think it is psychologically good and healthy to write these kinds of letters. But never, ever send them. Instead, print it out and burn the fucker whilst visualising you have said what you needed to say and let the Universe take the strain.
I dont think you even need to believe in karma TBH. They are, the unaware, the architects of their own destruction.
However, I do believe in karma and this spans not just our own life on this material plane but other planes which the majority of us have not yet accessed. But they will. This is the essence of ‘The Crystal Revolution’ which has been in full swing for some good time now.