Why The Narcissist Downgrades?



“HG, I am decent-looking, have a good job, I am intelligent, caring, fun and interesting, I dress well, I am a dab hand at cooking and nobody has ever complained about my bedroom skills and he has left me for THAT! Why?!”

It is a refrain I have often heard.

Why, when the narcissist could have you, did he go and choose somebody who is clearly inferior to you in so many different ways?

What is so good about her or him?

Where have you gone wrong?

Why on earth has he chosen her over you?

Why has the narcissist downgraded?

This gives you the answer and it will not only help you understand, it will make you feel a whole lot better too.

Find out here

23 thoughts on “Why The Narcissist Downgrades?

  1. Sandra says:

    Another gem I heard, metaphor for material explained here:

    “Hm, any port in a storm”

    Again, he knew, without knowing he knew.

  2. Tired says:

    HG, or anyone else with an answer,

    If this is true , “ they always downgrade “ , then why did my narc dump his hideous Ho to date and marry me ? I was a huge upgrade. Then my narc makes that same Ho his DLS year’s later.
    I get it , fuel . She floods him with sugary proclamations about how wonderful he is . She goes completely overboard. I never did that, never. I expressed my love, certainly, but not in a way that would make you vomit from ingesting too much candy.
    I also never badmouthed his exes , although he did. I reserved judgement because I didn’t know them, with the exception later on of this now problem DLS because she came after me personally ( she didn’t know me from a hole in the wall) when I started dating my narc. A crazy woman, she was/is. I didn’t engage with her back then, I dealt with her through legal channels, and will do the same now should it become necessary again.
    WHY would my narc re-engage with this nutter again years later knowing full well she’s crazy? Because he sees her behavior as flattery? Flattered she’d go to such extreme lengths to win him back??
    He refused to do anything directly himself back then , as though he left us to “ fight it out “ ? I’ve made it clear to my narc in the past I don’t do competition, if he wants someone else to go ahead and get out.
    I was forced to take legal action against the DLS in the past especially because she was disrupting not only myself, but our very young childrens lives at the time as well. Psycho.
    And my narc is a sniveling coward to have allowed her to do it without confronting her and demanding she stop. He’s always left me to do the “ dirty work “ , that’s his way, a weak coward underneath the steely mask.

  3. heloiseandabelarde says:

    I wear hair rollers…got hoovered in them once…for real.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Lifegoal attained!

      1. Renarde says:


        Would it be a terrible violation of NC, if every weaponised Empath bought a nice new fresh journal wrote down the silliest, daftest most stupid comments and or actions, every narc we have ever interacted with did?

        Heres one for a kick off courtesy of PN.

        ‘I’m the most empathic person I know’

          1. Renarde says:

            How the ever loving fuck did I miss this Corker of a thread?

            Looking forward to today, HG. In a somewhat unusual move for NS, I’ve concocted many games to play.

            Hope you are in fine fettle. I’d try those arpeggios if I were you. Probably a quick salt water gargle.

            Did I mention I’m a grade 7 on the Violin? Thought not.

            Ciao ciao!

    2. Renarde says:


      Certainly one for you Narc memorial scrapbook! Congratulations!

  4. dollysupreme says:

    Doesn’t the narc get fuel from being with a woman that other men desire? And doesn’t he feel wounded when others comment on his downgrade regardless of level of fuel the downgrade provides?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Read Fuel. Read the article on which you have commented. Read The 3 Interactions With the Narcissist.

  5. Sweetest Perfection says:

    That picture! Hahaha.

  6. Renarde says:


    If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a THOUSAND times.

    Immediately desist in publishing my picture!

    Or else my lawyers, Twuckcunts and Clap will be on your arse. Post Haste, Sir!!!

    Thank you for your attention in this matter.

    Love and kisses as always



    1. Violetta says:

      Laughing to the point my neighbors are convinced I’m insane, if they weren’t before.

      1. Renarde says:


        That there HG is and I assert most fortherightedly, STEALS (Yes he does narcsite. He does), images of my personage and places them for all to see here. On this bastion of a web site.

        My lawyers (Well I call them that. Frankly I wouldnt trust the pair with a potato gun) are POISED to issue writs and so forth. They are sharpening their quills as I write.

        That’s if I cannot prise their hands away from their, well I call it a penis but let’s just say ‘appendage’.

        You see, they are Middles. Obsessed. Utterly with going onto the dark web and splicing James Corden’s head onto nubile teenagers bodies. I do keep meaning to have a word…but it is what it is.

        Watching you HG. Watching.

        Love and kisses as always,



        P.S Cabel of Perfidy. Cabel of Perfidy. Thank you x


    2. Presque Vu says:

      Awww Renarde you are a hoot!

  7. E. B. says:

    Why would an empathic victim consider the narcissist’s new partner “clearly inferior” to her?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      For the reasons explained in the material.

      1. E. B. says:

        The reason I asked was that I had understood the material was about the narcissist’s perspective only, not the victim’s.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed but the behaviour of the narcissist will cause the victim to reach the conclusion that the replacement is “less” in one way or more. It happens, as the explanation to the material states, I have had similar comments made to me by confused victims and yes, they regard the replacement as inferior.

          1. Renarde says:


            Your points are very valid and strike to the heart of our position.

            What needs to be kept in the forefront of our minds is that looks, being beautiful, talented, intellectual is utterly irrelevant in the mind of the narc.

            As HG has hammered home is that unaware operate in the now.

            Nothing, simply nothing trumps fuel. Prime aims.

            So if the beautiful hard to get Empath is not playing ball, they will turn to one that will.

            Of course this is contraincative in how the vast majority of people view human relationships.

            It sucks.

            Hope this helps.

          2. E. B. says:

            Thank you for clarifying, HG.
            I have somatic MRN relatives and acquaintances. I met their new girlfriend/wife. Their new partners were not “inferior” compared to the previous ones. There were similarities including the physical aspect, which is very important to somatics. Also, same social background.

  8. Lorelei says:

    It should be a can of Mountain Dew! This photo amuses me.

    1. Renarde says:


      Special Brew.

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