A Letter to the Narcissist No. 6

 

moo letter

Dear Narc,

 I don’t know what to say to you anymore.
I can’t muster up the anger I once had and I definitely can’t muster up any love.   You are becoming more and more of a memory that will hopefully be completely gone.
There was a time when I would have given you anything in the world,  anything you asked for.  I do wish you knew that.  But you killed that person,  that woman who thought she had at last found her soulmate.  I’m more of a husk now I’m sorry to say,  more of a hole, just like you.
You won because I won’t even try to find love anymore. I wish I could say I would.  I’ve had it in the past and I know what it looks like but no, I won’t try.
I know you’ll keep trying to find what you think is love.  I know you are desperately trying to find it now and it doesn’t hurt anymore. I just feel apathy.
I’m weary inside. I’m worn out. I’m dry and I have nothing to give which I guess is a good thing. I won’t even respond to any offers of love, not from anyone and definitely not from you.
You are not who I thought you were but I’m not who I was anymore. The smile has faded, my bones ache and there’s nothing here for you anymore. You said that I am lower than a homeless person and in many ways you are  right. I have a lot in common with them because we both have nothing left to fight for anymore. Nevertheless, there is one thing which is on the bright side and that  is the fact that I won’t be fighting for your love anymore either.

12 thoughts on “A Letter to the Narcissist No. 6

  1. lisk says:

    Is it really so bad that a narc “killed that person” who runs on false hope and romantic fantasy?

    I’m glad that person in me is gone. Life is truly better without her. I wish she would have been “killed” sooner.

    Ultimately, I wish I would have killed her myself and wasted less time on illusion.

    1. Gina says:

      Me too lisk. I wish I had figured it out when I was 30 instead of when I was 50. Nothing we can do about that. It’s better than spending your whole life with them, like my stepmother is doing with my father. Been with him 50 years and totally blind to what he is.

    2. Kristin says:

      This letter (and your response) is both horribly negative and completely depressing – of course you can find love again after a Narc – if you can get through it and heal yourself, you will be a vault of self-knowledge and have a plethora of new and deeper experiences!

      1. lisk says:

        I find it freeing. And completely believe that I am already a “a vault of self-knowledge and have a plethora of new and deeper experiences!”

        1. Lorelei says:

          Lisk—I have a headache that is similar to the one I had for 15 years with my ex from painting a bookshelf. (Fumes) And it needs a third coat. This pandemic is killing my social outlets.

    3. Violetta says:

      How about finding an empath who also has romantic dreams? Yes, the narcs will try to mimic that–but if you projected sensible, feet-on-the-ground practicality, they could try to mimic that too, or piggyback on your Carrier traits.

      Be who you are, and just learn to identify the shapeshifters.

      1. WhoCares says:

        This is bang on Violetta – I am not the overly romantic type and my narcissist still showed me what I wanted to see in a life partner.

  2. Caron says:

    Oh sweetheart. I hope you kept going through this place and moved out of it.

  3. Gina says:

    It gets better. Give it time. Continue to stay away from him and focus on yourself. Try to remember what you used to enjoy doing, and do those things. Eventually you will start to enjoy life again, and he won’t be in your head as much.

  4. Kim e says:

    This letter is so true for many of us. You have opened up your heart to this person that does not deserve it which just proves they have not won. They will never win. In time you will heal, hard to even envison now I know, but you will. The N will always and forever be searching in circles and never have peace.
    Thank you for sharing your pain. You are still in there. Time and understanding will make you see yourself again. Different, yes. But in a lot of ways all for the better.

  5. ichooselife62 says:

    My heart absolutely breaks for MLO’s letter – how tragic these people make our lives – hugs to you

  6. MB says:

    Tragically sad MLO. Hang in there. This is a temporary state of affairs. You will find your strength again. Keep working on your boat. You’ll cross that sea in your own time.

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