The Portentous Remarks of the Narcissist



It is well known that our kind operate by the wearing of masks. We have learned how to portray those emotions which we do not feel. We have ascertained that in certain situations we are expected to respond in a particular way. We know that by donning a particular mask we are more likely to charm and seduce you. We are aware that maintaining a certain mask the vicious malevolence that lurks beneath can be kept in check so that we achieve acceptability and the advancement of our agendas. There are occasions when we will give you a glimpse of what lies beneath this mask. I am not referring to when we whip the mask off and subject you to devaluation. That is a purposeful and intended act on our part. I am not making reference to when the mask fractures as a consequence of the ignition of our fury and the lesser and mid-range of our kind are unable to keep the mask in place so that the ignited fury erupts and the malicious beast is unleashed. There are occasions however when we provide you with a fleeting glance beneath the mask as to what lies beneath. This will happen during the seduction period. Sometimes it is as a consequence of the effect of a particular agent, such as alcohol. Sometimes, especially with the greater of our kind, it is done as deliberate act in order to gauge your reaction. In such an instance, we tell you of what lies ahead to see if you baulk at the suggestion, or that more likely you respond in a sympathetic manner or even by way of denial.

“I couldn’t ever imagine you doing that.”

“That won’t happen with me though. It might have with other people but I will treat you better than they have.”

“You’re not like that, don’t be silly.”

“I don’t see you doing something like that, you are too nice.”

If you respond in such terms when you have been given such a warning, then this is a green light to us that we have you under our control and that you will accord with our desires and machinations. It also allows us, when we do eventually behave in the manner described down the line during the devaluation, to throw it back in your face by saying.

“I did warn you.”

“Why are you complaining? I was upfront that this would happen.”

“I told you so.”

“It’s no use crying about it now. I told you what I was like.”

“I told you and you chose to stay with me. It is your fault.”

Not only does this enable us to avoid blame, something we must achieve, it will also result in you reacting and providing us with fuel.

With the lesser or mid-range of our kind, these comments are more akin to thinking aloud. The mask does slip, unintentionally for a moment, through the explanation of a future behaviour before it is realised what has been said and the disclosure is brushed to one side, denied or passed off as a silly comment owing to drink or being tired. Why do these comments arise in such a manner from the lesser and mid-range of our kind? Is it guilt or remorse? No, because those emotions are not felt by our kind. It arises from a lack of control. The “bad” behaviour that will arise at some point is lurking beneath the surface and like a cat fighting to get out of a sack, it is always wanting to make an appearance but is prevented from doing so by the maintenance of the mask that is worn. Occasionally, through the loss of control – it may be drink, it may be fatigue, it may be through inattention – what lurks beneath makes a brief and fleeting appearance before the control is exerted once again. Here are fifteen portentous show and tells of our kind. Should you ever hear these comments you ought to pay heed to the warning that you are being given.

  1. I am a bad person really.
  2. I will only hurt you.
  3. You should stay away from me.
  4. I do bad things. I cannot help it. I always do.
  5. I will make you wish you had never met me.
  6. It will go wrong, it always does.
  7. You will end up hating me.
  8. You don’t know what you are getting into with me.
  9. You shouldn’t do this.
  10. You should leave while you can.
  11. This is going to turn out badly.
  12. I have to hurt people.
  13. I don’t want to hurt you, but I will.
  14. I just want to fit in.
  15. I’m not what you think I am.

11 thoughts on “The Portentous Remarks of the Narcissist

  1. Leigh says:

    I heard some goodies. Here are just a few:

    “You will end up hating me.” (I don’t hate him, I feel sad for him.)
    “You have no idea what I’m capable of.” (I didn’t then but thanks to Mr. Tudor, I do now.)
    The best one yet, “I have a dark and disturbing sense of humor” When I think about that comment now, it almost feels like he knows what he does. That he knows he gets enjoyment from other people’s pain and misery.

    Sick, sick, sick!

    1. Violetta says:

      “I’m going to make you cry. They’re going to have to give me a talking-to around here.” Supposedly joking.

      1. Leigh says:

        Violetta, their jokes are never funny. Then when they see you are hurt, they have to turn around like we are the ones who are too sensitive and have no sense of humor.

    2. FYC says:

      Hi Leigh, You are a kind soul, and there is a good chance he does take pleasure from others pain. No humor involved whatsoever. More like his dark form of negative fuel acquisition.

      1. Leigh says:

        Thank you for your kind words FYC. I can see who he is so clearly now because of this blog, Mr. Tudor and all of you.

  2. Cynthia Ava says:

    My ex (narc) whom I still have contact with as he is my daughter’s father…Has made sure that every time I’ve seen him (Covid 19 clinging together me, daughter, him ) he makes sure I see him texting or receiving a call from his girlfriend, bringing up sex and mentioning “my girlfriend.” Very hurtful. The best was on Mother’s day, when he got up from the table of food he prepared for us and his parents…told my daughter he was going to facetime his “girlfriend” and left. I found him upstairs cooing into the camera and had some words for him. Nice Mother’s Day. Always finding a way to ruin a holiday. ALWAYS. Still no apology. Today a text asking for our daughter soc sec # for tax reasons. Ummmm, NO. Back to NC for me…or soul distancing if no contact is not possible.

  3. Em says:

    Definitely heard ‘I just want to fit in’ verbatim.
    Also told me he compartmentalises his life and explained it as a series of files he flicks through.

  4. T says:

    I remember that checklist of “slip ups” from one of HG’s books. I remember now….but I had forgotten it in my time away from this blog and his books.

    This would have came in handy with the latest one.

    He flipped out over a long moment of intimacy (COVID19 and not being able to go out and about will make that mask slip sooner).

    I got a “heartfelt apology” 2 mornings later.

    His words were “I tend to f*ck up relationships….and for that I am so sorry”.

    I of course; forgave him…..🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

  5. Summer says:

    Thank u SO much for this

  6. lisk says:

    NarcBoss in Week 1: “I *have* been told that I can be cagey. Ha. Ha.”

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