The Games Are Always Being Played



I love playing games. As I have written before, the games are always being played. I only ever play to win otherwise there is no point. I cannot lose and sit back and smile and accept it was nevertheless an enjoyable experience because if I was to lose then it could not be enjoyable. I would be accepting that you or someone else is better than me. You are not. He is not. They are not. I always have to win. In order to achieve this I operate by a particular set of rules. You think you know what those rules are because when we first come together I deign to play by your rules; I agree to operate by the systems and conventions of your reality. That is easy for me to do because everything is going swimmingly. I am seducing you and therefore you are letting me win because it feels good. I am content to go along with the pretence of agreeing that these are the rules of engagement. You think you are winning because you are getting this wonderful, generous and loving person. In reality, I am winning because I am receiving plenty of positive fuel from you.

It is thereafter that the rules alter because I decide (and it is always my decision) that we will now abide by the rules in my reality. You are not given a rulebook and you have to guess what those rules are. As soon as you think that you have grasped them and got a handle on them, they will suddenly change. It is akin to playing a game of football and I am winning three nil. You score two more goals and you are in the ascendancy and likely to equalise. There would normally be fifteen minutes to go but suddenly I change the rules so there is just one minute left. You fail to score and I win. You protest stating that is not the correct time but it does not matter because here I am the referee, the assistants and the fourth official and what I say goes. If you do not like it, tough. I will just pick up the ball and go home with it. It is like a game of darts where you have to start from 501 and end with a double. I on the other hand start from 51 and do not need a double. You claim it is not fair but why should I care about it? I have to win. Thus, you may realise that I enjoy a lie-in on a Sunday morning so you do not disturb me. I will purposefully set the alarm early and get up waking you early. Or if I do have a lie in, I will concoct some mystery appointment that I have missed because you let me lie in. When you wake me early the following Sunday I will erupt at you for being so selfish and not letting me sleep.

When you think have ascertained what the rules are they will alter. You will do your best to try and keep up but it is exhausting and frustrating. Yet, this manipulation of the rules to allow our kind to win does not end there. Goodness me no. Our driven desire to always be the winner means that not only will we sucker you by pretending to play by your rules and then change them; we will then change the game. One moment you think you are playing Monopoly and then I am telling you it was Professor Plum in the Study with the Candlestick.

“But that is Cluedo,” you will declare rather puzzled.

“I know,” I will smile in return.

“But we are playing monopoly.

“No we are not.”

“Yes we are, look this board has streets from New York on it.”

“No it doesn’t, those are rooms in the stately home.”

“What are you talking about? See here and here, street names.”

“Are you blind? Those are snakes and ladders.”

“What? You’ve changed it again.”

“No I haven’t. You are just making a fuss because you are losing.”

“What are you on about? I am not losing, I was winning.”

“Not at all. Check mate.”


Our phenomenal capabilities for lying, blame-shifting, denial and reflection all mean that the game will change. You are wrong footed, unsure of yourself, confused and we keep on doing it. We must win, always and you have to lose, at your cost. We will apply all our methods of manipulation to ensure we are victorious and you lie sprawled in the dirt, broken and defeated. Our success has to be at everything and I mean everything, from the trivial to the substantial, Defeat is never an option for our kind and we will bend, twist and snap the rules and alter the game in order to achieve this. Now, let’s play a game. It is my favourite. You may know it. It is called Guess Who? You have no chance.

11 thoughts on “The Games Are Always Being Played

  1. Anm says:

    Speaking of court…. late this evening, I was watching 20/20 Australia. I need to explain my forthcoming naieveness here, I live in AZ, USA. The episode was on a woman who was undergoing constant domestic violence from her Lesser Narcissist husband, but the police weren’t doing anything, like most of the time with DV cases, so she went forward with filing a Private Prosecution Case. Omg, I had no idea that the Barristers in Australia, UK, and probably other places still wore wigs and 18 century court clothing. It makes sense, because so many attorneys in the USA use their looks and charm to persuade. I was trying to figure out how that all works with your courts now.

  2. Renarde says:


    It’s lovely to have your contribution on NS.

    I’m very pleased you have conquered the awesome stickiness of the caps lock.

    Might I make a request that we use concepts such as the line break and above all that sly fellow, ‘the period’. Or as we say in the UK, ‘The full stop.’The occasional comma wouldn’t hurt. We can then move onto the SEX GOD which is the ‘semi colon’. Or even better, a well timed ellipses…

    Otherwise when we read, it’s like we’ve been granted access to your ‘inner narrative’. Which can be somewhat discombobulating. Believe me, no one wants access to mine as it usually involves getting away with some criminal activity and/or a bit of funny business. ‘Ows yer father’ and so forth. And if I can combine the two, all the better!

    To be the Foreperson of a jury must have been quite the burden and responsibility? For a lay person understand and interpret the Judge and the summation.

    I actually wasn’t under the impression the Foreperson could chit chat with Council or the stenographer?

    How on earth did you pull that one off?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It’s counsel, not council, Renarde!

      1. Renarde says:

        And only fricken’ U CULD Brin’ dese Matters Up!


        1. Lorelei says:

          Renarde—I too nearly collapse when I accidentally use the wrong version of a word. (Principle/principal) These sorts of things. Makes me crazy. It happens just out of no place at times. HG once used the wrong write vs. right but I was polite and didn’t point it out because I knew he knew the proper usage and it was an accident.

  3. Lori says:

    Hi HG

    I dont come here so much anymore as i finally left the narc game almost a year ago after a series of blocking and unblockings by him. I just walked away ans never contacted him again

    I am am ipss that was dumped for another ioss about 2 years ago and within that time frame the blocking and unblocking occurred and he always refused to speak to me even when he unblocked me from his fake profile. I just went on with my life and never contacted him again. About 4 months ago i said no im blocking this fake profile why should I have to look at it. So i did. Now lo and behold im unblocked from his real profile which comes on the heels of me terminating a friendship with a mutual friend that is not only friends with both of us but my replacement as well. I mever confirmed to this flying monkey that the narc and i had been involved but i do believe she knows. In any case i have kind of ended that friendship and the minute i did i was unblocked from his real profile which i have been blocked from for 2 yeara.

    Can you briefly tell le what is happening here? Did he jusr unblock so that i would contact him and then he would just ignore me which he did before ? Last time he did that i just said enough blocked him and went on. Is he just trying to do that again? He is a lesser narcissist

    I know what i need to do. Im just trying to understand what happened here

  4. Horseyak says:

    That only works until I don’t give a shit what you do.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well hello Horseyak, where have you been hiding?

  5. smarinucci1970 says:

    God I saw so much truth in this with my marriage to Gene it was always like this, he played games all the time after coming out of such a torturous childhood I couldn’t believe it everyday was a game and he had to win , wow start out the day too early wouldn’t let me sleep kept coming in and out making noise singing Italian love songs I just didn’t want to hear it the first thing in the morning I was tired I was overwhelmed wow now I understand he always had to win at Checkers and chess and cards here I was just learning how to play but he did keep telling me, he started when I was 19 he said shar you got to play the game and I said what game he said you got to learn how to play the game , I in total innocence said I’ll never play any games. Probably about 8 years later something came up I think with a landlord or I don’t know something like that and he said well shar it’s the game of life you got to learn how to play the game what game. STARTING to get a little older I was in my twenties and I said you’re crazy God one of the worst things I could have ever said to him something else came up I was in my thirties I think right after I had my stroke t i a stroke and he said we’ll shar, this is what’s going to happen to you got to learn how to play the game God Almighty the freaking game I didn’t learn what the game was until I was probably about 44 years old I just finished jury duty I was the Forman I loved it made friends with the district attorney the prosecutor the judge the stenographer all of them but it was no game , it was no game until the last day of trial when I had to stand up and read the verdicts then I saw Gene in the audience oh my God was he dressed beautifully but he made friends with the judge and the attorneys ,he was the star and I think I realized what the game must have been it was his game .

  6. Angela says:

    Hg, With a new tv series coming out about her I have recently started reading about Betty Broderick. Was just she a narcissist or was her ex husband Dan one as well?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do not know enough about this individual to provide you with an answer at the current time, Angela.

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